How bad of an idea is breaking the no contact rule /adv/

Do you want another few months to a year of hell, op? Do you want to be dragged into drama or feeling hopeless and worthless when contacting them doesn't result in what you imagined or wanted?

>>17797927
no but i'm going to go insane from not being able to sleep at night because of always thinking of them

>>17797929
You know they're not gonna get back with you right? I'm assuming they dumped you. It will hurt worse when you call them and IF they pick up, to hear the indifference mixed with pity and annoyance in their voice as they talk to you. When their voice used to be filled with love. Because they don't want to talk to you anymore.

Go do stuff to distract from thinking about them. Sitting around moping isn't helping.

>>17797922

Leave them alone.
I have someone on no contact and i hope to god i never hear from them again. My anxiety spikes anytime i see an unknown call from that area. Just let it die. Please

Anon. You knew moments like this were going to happen when you decided to cut off contact. Moments where your lesser self tries to suck you back underwater are and always have been a fact of life. But the difference between achieving your goal and wondering why nothing ever changes is right here and right now.

I know you know there are things you can do. You can distract yourself now, you can walk or run during the day so you'll be more tired at night, you can usually push the thoughts away except for those lowest of lows. But the question you actually need to ask is what you want from the next few months. If what you want is a circle of bad calls and self-pity, go right ahead and pine for a person who is already gone. It you want to live on your feet, to heal as fast as you possibly can, stick it out for another four seconds. That's how long it takes for the processes that comprise consciousness to start over. In four seconds you'll be a different person, and it's you who gets to decide what person that is.

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>>17797922
If they broke up with you, No contact should only be broken by their engagement. And I don't mean for small shit like "So I saw this show" I mean actual shit like "Talk to me" or "I want to go out with you for a movie" Focus yourself on improving and doing what you like. You'll pull through eventually and stop wanting to at questionable times. It will hurt but it will happen,just like a time(if ever) that you lost something of yours

Besides in the event that you're hoping they'll want you back,they sure aren't gonna wanna come back to some cunt that whined to them and neither would you if you were in their shoes to declare the break up. Both of you would want to come back to an individual who is shining like they lack something you don't have.

So stay confident and stay determined so that even in the event where they don't come back you've got a bunch of shit to toss onto your plate of small talk for a new and better mate. Try getting a new job, new living quarters,a new thing to study, talk to more people,new clothes... Shit that'll just demand more of you. It's all to keep up your "aura" so to speak.

If and when you ever doubt yourself like this again just remember that you're living your life for you not them.

It's never as cathartic as you imagine.

Worse case you alienate a bunch of friends or end up in court.

>>17798110
>like they lack something you don't have.

>lack something
they HAVE something you don't have

>>17797935
> to hear the indifference mixed with pity and annoyance in their voice as they talk to you. When their voice used to be filled with love. Because they don't want to talk to you anymore.

how does this even happen sigh
not OP, but got dumped

>>17798125

Depends on the type of relationship it was. Sometimes people are too selfish to analyze what they, themselves did wrong.
These are just examples of things to look at. I'm not accusing you of any but seriously think it over.

>>Did you split responsibility or rely on them too much?
(Very few people want to play a parental role in a relationship)
>>Did you fulfill the physical and romantic needs of your partner?
(Sex is important to a healthy relationship. So are birthdays and anniversaries)
>>Were you physically or verbally abusive?
(Maybe you didn't beat each other up but you could've teased too often, or made them feel inferior)
>>Did you encourage each other's growth?
(A good partnership is a balance of each others strengths and weaknesses.
You should encourage each other towards realistic life and educational goals)
>>Were you faithful?
(Different people have different needs here. Some just don't want you to physically cheat, others want you to pretend the opposite sex stopped existing besides them.
If you did something stupid or took a step backwards at some point in the relationship, your partner will never forget. It'll grow like a tumor on their heart long after the arguement is over)

Sometimes the person leaving is the bad one, which is why its important to analyze your role. People try to veil emotions so "pity and annoyance" could easily be love and regret. They could still care, but regret the way everything went. This doesn't mean they want to be back together, but people don't usually stop loving each other until they stop communicating entirely.