gf freaking out over nothing

>>17792999
Sounds like she's actually upset about something else, and the chicken thing was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Women have a tendency to do this.

If I had to take a shot in the dark, based on your post - Maybe she doesn't like your mom very much? Does your mom make a regular habit of "dropping by" and messing around with your stuff like that? If this was an isolated incident your girlfriend's overreacting, but if things like this are a regular occurrence I can see why she'd get frustrated

Maybe it wasn't really about the chicken, but her wanting to cook something, but your mom butts in. Does she do that often (the mom I mean)?

When thus happens, the "trivial thing" is just the catalyst that triggers it all. Basically she's stressed about something else andbtye chicken was just the excuse.

No offense meant but I feel you don't communicate well or communication has gotten worse lately.

Fix that first

>>17793019
I agree.

Also, I would also "freak out". Maybe I wanted to do the chicken my way and she just did it without even asking. Rude.

>>17793013
>>17793015

Yep, my mother drops by often. Sometimes she cleans, sometimes she cooks. Its her way of having a excuse to stay connected. I dont mind, but I think my gf does.

I think it is stress, though. Anxiety for finishing up school. When I ask her about it, she denies it, though.

>>17792999
I've been married for over a decade, with my wife for almost two decades. You fucked up.

Your girlfriend planned a nice dinner. Your mom came by unannounced (which I'd be mildly annoyed by), let herself in (which I would be significantly annoyed by), then proceeded to assume that your girlfriend doesn't know what she was doing and mess with her things (which I would be outright enraged by).

Stand up to your mother, set some reasonable boundaries, apologize to your girlfriend.

>>17793021
I had a bf like that. His mother cut his toe nails. It was pathetic. She probably doesn't wanna hurt you by telling you it's bothering her, since you're such a mommas boy.

>>17793019

Well, you have a point there. I have been focused on myself lately. I finished uni and am looking for a job in my field. My gf is struggling to finish her education. I offered her my help, but so far she has been adamant I do not butt in (because i'm too 'controlling' when I try to help).

I'll talk to her when she's calmed down in the morning.

>>17793021
Its not stress or anxiety about school. Your mom dropping by and letting herself in unannounced is weird and inappropriate given that you're both adults. I'm sure its not malicious, but its also not acceptable.

>>17793021
It's probably both. You should set some boundaries with your mom. It's good to stay connected, but she should just call ahead before just showing up. Maybe set up weekly dinners, or something. But yeah, if she just randomly pops in whenever she feels like it, cooks chicken when your girlfriend had plans to cook it - that's intrusive, and your girlfriend has a right to be upset. Most girls would be.

>>17793030
>>>17793019
Stop focusing on her being stressed about school. It probably does stress her out, but this time it wasn't about school but your mother.

>>17793030
>been adamant I do not butt in (because i'm too 'controlling' when I try to help)

Repeat that over and over like a koan until you work out what she's angry about today.

>>17793021
either tell your mother to fuck off or kill it. it is either being malicious or it is a complete fucking moron. it usurped your girlfriend's worth by cooking the chicken and it should no longer be welcomed in your lives.

>>17793028

If it bothered my gf so much, she should have said something about it in the past 7 years.

>>17793022

>Momma's boy
>Being self-sufficient since the age of 18

Pick one.

>>17793044
I didn't call you a momma's boy, although its telling that you somehow distilled that insult from my post. It doesn't matter if you're self sufficient or not, you should still be able to say "mom, I'm an adult about to get married, please don't enter my home when I'm not there." Thats a normal, healthy boundary.

>>17793033

Upset to the point of storming out of the house, crying uncontrollably, and locking herself up in the bedroom for the entire evening?

>>17792999
Your first mistake was thinking women have self agency. Whether you want to believe this or not, women are children and should be treated as such.

Right now you have a child up stairs throwing a tantrum.

>>17793050
This isn't the first time.

Communicate with her, listen, set some boundaries or you're going to lose her.

>>17793050
So what you're saying is you're both idiots. Excuse me, all three of you. Apologize to her, make your mom not enter your home whenever and explain to your gf why she's being an idiot. Done.

>>17793048

Ok, pardon me. I misinterpreted somehow. You are right, I think. Hopefully moving to another town with her somewhere within the next few months will solve this problem.

I'm still concerned over her lashing out. To be upset is one thing, but what she has been displaying is a few steps above that.

>>17793051
I should also add your mother is also a child and acting like one as well.

>>17793058
Why are you so afraid to confront your mom? It doesn't have to be a fight or aggressive, just politely ask her to call first and not come in if you're not home.

As for your girlfriend, this "lashing out" has been brewing for awhile and you've missed it. TALK MORE.

>>17793064
This.

>>17793050
OK she's throwing a tantrum, but women get emotional. And let me add something to your previous post - Your mom knows EXACTLY what she is doing. This is some "Mean Girls" shit. She didn't just innocently pop in to "help" you cook, she knew this would get under your girlfriend's skin, any woman would be angry about this, and that's why she did it.

And she's REALLY freaking out because you're taking your mom's side and acting like she's upset for no reason. This is a pretty standard competition/rivalry that plays out between a guy's mom and the woman he's with, and a grown man isn't supposed to side with his mother every time. Especially when she's actually in the wrong this time, and probably starting a fight on purpose.

Believe me, your mom isn't as oblivious as you are, this is an old-ass story. You're handling it wrong

>>17793064

I'm not afraid to ask. My mother has the IQ of a brick and is a farmer girl/boomer type. She does as she pleases, despite my requests. Plus, she's 64 and just survived cancer for the third time. Why not have a little heart?

>>17793064
I love that in none of his responses he doesn't say he'll talk to him mom.
This will not get solved easily, if ever.

>>17793075
If you don't think she'll understand, say it anyway and then change your locks. Having a little heart would mean stopping by for dinner a couple times a week and calling her every day because you love her. Letting someone wander into your house to fuck up your relationship is closer to Norman Bates than it is to a little hear.

>>17793075
Cancer and age are not an excuse to act like an idiot. Your mom is acting disrespectful, that is all. And she is using her sickness well I see.

>>17793077
See>>17793075

Been there, done that. Did not work and will not ever work, unless I physically move to another town or change the locks.

>>17793085
So change the damn locks. That would not be an unreasonable thing to do if your mom can't respect basic boundaries

>>17793085
Then change the locks. If she doesn't listen to what you want (for her not to come) why would you listen to what she wants (to come)? Rofl man children.

>>17793085
So change the locks.

Why do people come here, ask for advice and when EVERYONE tells them to do this, they try and defend themselves and not at least try taking the advice? Why even ask if you already think you know what to do or not to do?

>>17792999
could gf be knocked up? this can make them do strange and unreasonable things

>>17793073
This. OP is desperately in need of a "Women 101" course

If someone came to my home, took the food I was preparing and cooked it themselves without even asking I would be so fucking annoyed.
OP, go apologise to that poor woman who agreed to marry you and change the locks.

>>17793094
Because he's looking for someone to give him permission.

If this is a troll, 10/10, because holy shit, I'm mad.

>>17793105

its obviously a troll

>>17792999
She might overreacted but it's all your fault. Seems like you have given your house' s keys to your mother! Why?? This house is yours and your gf's. Why does your mother have keys,coming over your house whenever she wants? Cleaning? Cooking? Why? Your mother maybe does it to help you and her. But maybe she does all this in order to show her that SHE is your mom,she will come whenever she wants,she will cook as she thinks that you like it more,she will clean because it was dirty (just to make her feel bad). Even if she doesn't do all these for bad, your gf surely sees it like that.because your gf is the woman of the house,she wants to do everything as she likes! And she must love you a lot for not telling you nothing all these years. What you have to do is to talk to your mother,ask her not to come over without inform you,and that she doesn't need to do cleanings etc,that you prefer her to come there when you are at home so you can see her.DONT imply that this is your gf's problem,you don't want to create a problem in their relationship,just tell that you don't want to feel like the mom's boy.
About your gf,go talk to her,tell her that you have realized where is the problem and you are going to solve it.

>>17792999
honest question; is she pregnant?
I would get upset about the most trivial shit and make a scene on a daily basis until I knew I was pregnant. Hormones are one hell of a drug.

>>17792999
>>mom stops by
my fucking god, learn to wipe your own ass

someone hasn't seen everybody loves Raymond before...