need girl advice, please.

Just ask her out for a drink after work, if she says no then she said no, just live with it.
Do you want to live forever in maybeland?

OP, that's a reasonable thing to worry about, thankfully I am here to help.

You are thinking about jumping face first into cold water, you need to get your feet wet first.

Before asking her out, scope out the situation...flirt with her a little, find out if she has a boyfriend, anything that will give you ammunition so you can properly go for the kill.

>>17791185
kind of, I've been here all my life.

I read this thing that hunter thompson wrote, saying "those who wait will fall victim of circumstance" and I feel like that's whats gonna happen.

Every time I get close to actually asking her out, or an actual chance pops up, I just freeze. On most days, when I'm not thinking about any of that, I'm really comfortable around her.

But on days where I'm thinking "should I ask her out? should I do this?" I fall into a rabbit hole of "what ifs?" and just don't do anything.

I feel like all of this would be much easier if I just turned off my brain for a bit.

>>17791196
>Before asking her out, scope out the situation...flirt with her a little, find out if she has a boyfriend, anything that will give you ammunition so you can properly go for the kill.
She doesn't have a boyfriend (hasn't told me directly, but a few weeks ago she was complaining about her ex boyfriend calling her)

I think we flirt, but I never know if I'm actually flirting or coming off as cringey or autistic since a majority of me interacting with people is when I'm hanging out with my band, and all we do is get drunk, play music, and talk about other bands.

I'm not very social, so anything social is just alien to me. Like, I'm not uncomfortable talking to others, I just feel like I'm gonna say something stupid all the time.

>>17791201
Look man, I've been where you are right now before, I was used to this horrible loop of "but what if?"
It is horrible, I know, and that is why now that I have a greater confidence in myself, I can tell you, just do it man, just ask her out for a drink, if you are not the drinking type, a coffee will do, she is clearly comfortable around you, you don't have to torture yourself so much.
This isn't some life changing decision, it is just a drink with a colleague, and if both of you feel comfortable it can be something else, it won't ruin your life if she says no.

>>17791214
>I think we flirt, but I never know if I'm actually flirting or coming off as cringey or autistic
You are literally me.
Also, what determines that is how attractive you are.

>>17791214

Okay, sounds good.

What you need to do is have a game plan, and offer her to join in.

>end of shift

I'm going to go grab something to eat, I'm fucking hungry, what about you?

If she says she's also hungry, that's your meal ticket. If she says she's ok/tired/whatever, bail out.

>>17791215
>I can tell you, just do it man, just ask her out for a drink, if you are not the drinking type, a coffee will do, she is clearly comfortable around you, you don't have to torture yourself so much.
I try telling myself stuff like that, but as soon as I get to the point of asking her out, every bit of confidence disappears. Like, the only way of me asking anyone out is if I didn't give it any prior thought. As soon as I think about it, I'm fucked.

>>17791225
>You are literally me.
>Also, what determines that is how attractive you are.
It's the worst. I'm not sure about how attractive I am. I've never really asked anyone in person "hey, how hot am I?" but I've posted on /soc/ rate threads and got 5-7 for the most part. I don't really put too much weight into that since it's strangers looking at one picture of me.

>>17791237
>I'm going to go grab something to eat, I'm fucking hungry, what about you?
>If she says she's also hungry, that's your meal ticket. If she says she's ok/tired/whatever, bail out.
I've thought about that like every time we've worked together. Usually I end up going to the bar alone since I've never asked her to go with me...

Like, I've even overheard conversations she was having with other coworkers. I'm not sure exactly what was said, but she said my name. Idk.

on friday should i ask her how her thanksgiving was? what if she thinks i'm being too pushy?

how do I stop myself from being self-destructive with potential relationships? could it be that i subconsciously don't want myself to be happy?

>>17791179

Honestly?

From what you're describing it kind of sounds like you're horrifically autistic and don't know a playful girl when you see one.

Everything you've described has been pretty innocuous interactions that could literally happen between any two people who are forced to share a work space together. Nothing you said gave me the overt feeling that she was hitting on you AT all.

I mean, the only time she made purposeful physical contact was to stop you from flipping the lights on and off like a little kid.

Just do your job. Don't bother trying to ask this girl out, not only because it sounds like she has no interest in you but its just going to make working really weird and uncomfortable.

Don't shit where you eat

>>17791349
>I mean, the only time she made purposeful physical contact was to stop you from flipping the lights on and off like a little kid.
she's touched my shoulders/arms while talking to me, but that happens on an almost daily basis so i didn't mention it in the first post since i only wanted to mention weird things that stood out.

also i was flipping the lights on and off because i accidentally took an ecstasy pill instead of xanax before going to work.

>>17791464
What does that mean? Do you think she's into poop stuff? I don't want her to take a dump on me or that whole two girls one cup thing...

>>17791478
bruh you need to stop doing drugs before work lol

At the end of a good day just invite her out to go do something, light and non serious and she if she wants to come with you, don't make it sound like a date just to go with someone, if she says yes is receptive, and things feel right make a move. To so this you must be prepared to take her rejection on stride and don't be butt blasted about it at work, be proffesional.

>>17791179
Be sarcastic back and see if she's serious or just joking and if she is just say sorry.
Tldr: be an onery shit head

>>17791464
>Don't shit where you eat

This, I didn't listen to this against my better judgement now I see my ex at work all the time.