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Anonymous
Wife doesn't agree with why I let my son cry his problems out. 2016-11-23 00:46:23 Post No. 17788304
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Wife doesn't agree with why I let my son cry his problems out. 2016-11-23 00:46:23 Post No. 17788304
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Wife doesn't agree with why I let my son cry his problems out.
Anonymous
2016-11-23 00:46:23
Post No. 17788304
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I don't know what to do so I hope someone here can help me out. I have a son who is 9 months old. He's a healthy baby and for the most part everything is good. However, the problem I feel he has is crying for attention. I noticed that every single time he cries, even for a second, his mom picks him up and he stops. Right now I tried feeding him cause she said he is hungry. He didn't want to eat and started crying so I left him alone. Now, I feel that picking him up every time he starts crying is enabling him to act like that. I don't want to be that family one or two years from now that has to step outside of a restaurant every time we eat because or son can't calm down on his own unless his mom picks him up to comfort him. Idk if I'm being a bad parent but I just want my kid to get used to calming down on his own when something doesn't go his way. I know babies cry for a reason and if it's not hunger or tiredness and he's not sick then I feel at that point he's crying because he's used to mom grabbing him. So every time this "attention cry" happens I sit by him and wait for him to calm down. I let him know that I am there for him by sitting there and allowing him to feel my presence, I just don't feel it's okay to pick him up when he starts yelling like a madman. This in turn, causes an argument between me and his mom. She then runs in and picks him up and starts saying that I have to pick him up. I try to explain to her my reasoning for letting him cry it out. It then goes through one ear and out the other. This then makes me seem like a bad parent in my son's eyes. And his mom is his great savior. I'm sick and tired of her not listening to me. I've reached the point where I no longer know what to do. Can someone please give me some help or advice?
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>>17788304
9 months is pretty much too young for the lesson you are trying to teach
Stop worrying about what may or may not happen from this. How else is this child supposed to express his unhappiness, or needs, or discomfort???
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>>17788304
Babies require attention and comfort, that's sort of their thing. Especially when they're too young to walk on their own or to speak. They're entirely dependent on crying as means of communication, so ignoring it is somewhat cruel. This only becomes an issue is continues once he grows a bit and starts throwing tantrums as a toddler. Those are good to ignore, because by then he should be old enough to express what he wants in other more eloquent ways.
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There's a lot of different theories on this and I have yet to see any definite studies regarding it in terms of later child development but making sure you acknowledge the child and saying that it's ok and letting them cry for about 5 minutes is ok. Then after those 5-10 minutes irregardless on whether they stopped crying you should pick them up and comfort them
How to explain this to your wife idk man. Find a baby book that recommends it
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>>17788319
>>17788331
I didn't realize I've been acting really ignorant until now. I'm still struggling to adjust to being a parent and being 21 years old explains my ignorance.Thank you guys for the suggestions I will change my ways from now until he becomes old enough to know better.
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>>17788336
Thank you as well for this suggestion, anon
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Well, that was a nice thread. I'm not looking forward to it being dragged on for potentially hundreds of posts too long when a couple of anons start arguing with one another until they get wildly off topic and then more and more people keep repeating the same advice in reply to the OP because they haven't bothered to read past the first post.
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>>17788348
Did you read the baby books I bought you
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>>17788364
WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE BABY BOOKS
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