BF doesn't make me a priority

>meet from online dating site
>he wants to date fast
>I need more time
>we go out few times a week
>have sex, we date
>apparently I took his virginity
>school year starts
>he is 15-20 mins away
>visit each other on the wknds
>sometimes go out
>mostly I drive to his dorm
>it's more private there

>one time I visit him after school
>go by bus, stay late
>going back the bus doesn't go all the way
>parents keep calling me
>think I'm being raped, abducted, murdered

>I walk home alone in the dark
>safest city in the state ffs
>my phone has died
>arrive home
>parents yell at me
>tell me my bf is a piece of shit
"why doesn't he drive you home anon?!" (he didn't have his car with him)
"why didn't he let you stay at his place?!" "why did he let you go alone!?" (I thought they would be mad at me for staying over)
"why are you the one going to his place all the time?!" (Because I don't even have a door on my room???).

>>17787230

That made me think however
>I always give him bjs
>could count on 1 hand how many times he gave me head
>often bring him snacks
>he barely starts conversations
>doesn't initiate physical contact much
It hadn't bothered me because I always made excuses for him in my head and he is genuinely busy.
>perfect GPA
>3rd year of college
>studying comp.sci.
>internship
>I'm first gf he had sex with
He is also
>caring when I seem sad
>texts me every morning
>willing to help if I need
>brought me to his friends' parties
>has photos of us online
>relationship status also online
>gets jealous sometimes
although
>barely asks questions
>is very forgetful

Some examples of things he forgot are when I told him about how I was bullied and catfished (NOT minor stuff like name calling and a few days of chat) and my birthday, that is on the same day as one of his relative's.

I thought it was entirely OK but after those comments a bug was planted in my head and time spent alone just became more lonely and I kept noticing other girls' boyfriends do cute, romantic crap for them and I actually envied it

>>17787234

can you really complain
>im always giving him BJS

and then say
>IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO START GIVING HIM PHYSICAL CONTACT (RE: BJS)

your biggest complaints here are
>he doesnt eat me out as much as id like
>he doesnt ask questions
>is forgetful

and somehow you're translating that to:
>bf doesn't make me a priority

what? how? sexually, maybe, but you seem to control that dynamic to some degree. if you want him to eat you out and pleasure you more, tell him. this isn't rocket science.

it is his first REAL relationship so i can see why he may not be as dedicated. he thinks of you guys as more equals, whereas the more you date the more the guy sees himself as someone who has to WORK For the girls love.

does he need to work for yours? or do you just love him?

its your call. i dont blame you for wanting what other girls have, but thats a slippery slope. its the reason guys dont like dating as they get older. women expect SO much instead of just wanting to be equal partners.

>>17787254
Not every physical contact is sexual. Asking for hugs, holding hands and cuddles. The thought itself feels embarrassing. Isn't that natural for couples to do?

>can you really complain
>im always giving him BJS

Are you saying withdrawing sex is the answer?

>what? how?
We didn't see each other for nearly a month because one weekend I didn't ask him if he wanted to meet. He didn't say anything.
As for morning texts, they are fuckign adorable, but most days it's the only thing he says to me. 6 days out of 7 the only thing he would say to me is "good morning" unless I brought up something to talk about. It feels more like something he does as routine rather than thoughtfulness. When I text him he answers, but I initiate contact 99% the time and it's making me feel pathetic.

Also asking for sex sounds really embarrassing.

He's in college with a good gpa

>he's forgetful and doesn't ask enough stuff

Don't make yourself another test to take

I understand that you want more but don't fuck with his future to get it
There's plenty of time for all that and the time is not right now

but you could always talk to him openly about it to see if you can meet in the middle

>>17787293
Disregard this advice
I feel like I don't know the guy well enough to judge it


Try talking to him though

>>17787286

it sounds like he can't win with you.

so just break up wtih him? if talking about sex is too embarassing, then you cant be mad at him for not reading your mind.

you are his first. this is new to him. he has to learn. im not saying he is perfect adn without fault adn that you're some bitch who is makign a big deal out of nothing. but if you're unwilling to wokr with the problems they can't change, and chacnes are they wont anyways.

most men arent capable of learning within the relationship, because it feels artificial. they basically start putting up an act in order to please you and it feels uncomfortable for both parties.

you can't really MAKE someone care more. its like insisting they spend a certain amount on a present. it doesn't make them thoughtful or caring, it jsut makes them a puppet.

if i were him you wouldn't be worth my time to be honest. your basic issue is that you think other girls have more and want him to change.

its okay if you want something different, but if i were you id look for it fro manother guy. and thats not wrong. its normal to leave a relationsihp cuz you dont get what you want.

but it does seem wrong that what you want is shallow for me.

but im an equalist so there is that.

>>17787254
>>17787286
I would like him to communicate more, to be who he is and express himself. He used to write stories and poems so I know he is good with words. and I talked about this with him. He said he'll try. He told me something about his day and I really appreciated it and answered positively, but he never did it again. I don't understand.
A friend also told me that if their boyfriend forgot their birthday, they would just break up with them. I felt sad but I don't thnk it should be a deal breaker.I'm just really afraid of giving my all while somebody just drifts along without any effort.

>>17787312

>i would like him to be who he is and express himself

he IS who he is. he isn't some secretly shy guy who has trouble opening up. he tells you everything he WANTS to share. you arent asking him to be who he is. you are asking him to eb someone else. everyone is different. people can be happy with different life styles. yours is talkative. his is quiet.

i can understand the bit about the birthday, though i think it kinda depends on how much notice you gave.

as a general rule if you arent willing to plan your own birthday, then no one should go out of their way to celebrate it. its a sitcom meme that your partner does all this stuff.

did you remind him a week before? cuz if not you might have expected him to remember a REALLY distant conversation.

i dont remember my own brothers birthdays as they happen, my mother remembers for me and gives me a couple days notice to get them presents and shit.

and brothers > gfs imo.
>giving my all
>without any effort

i hate to break this to ya but this might be him giving effort. this might be his 'all'. he might legitimately think that you're okay with who he is as a person and love him for him, not for the things yuo want him to do.

cuz that is whats happening here. you've decided that who he is isn't enough and you want him to change.

but the lfip side of that is maybe you're right. maybe this isnt his all. maybe hes actually smart and is giving his all to 'school'.

>>17787293
>>17787346

So it is a meme and I was right to begin with.

>>17787418
There are men that will prioritize relationships but they are mostly over 30 Or under 20