Pain and sex

>>17785434

YOU don't need to be into pain. My girlfriend was into dominance stuff, but i wasn't really but I still enjoyed it because I saw SHE was enjoying it. If you can find pleasure in seeing her LOVE it then that will help. Sometimes it's enough, just the satisfaction of totally having her in love with what you're doing.

She wants to inflict it as well. For her, it has to be a mutual thing.

>>17785482
Like what kind of shit she want to do? Can you handle it? Maybe try saying instead of having her inflict it try you being totally dominant. It's easier to find pleasure in being in control than getting whipped.

>>17785492
She wants to be able to bite and scratch to the point of breaking skin. I don't think i'd be able to handle the pain from it the way I am right now.

>>17785508
well I'd work into it maybe, tell her you want to be able to sexually please her but this is new to you and you have to ease into it, bite lightly but don't break skin, softer scratches. I imagine the sex would take longer too because the pain will take your mind off cumming. Id' tell her you need to ease into it. At least ease into the receiving pain part.

>>17785545
I suppose another issue to bring up is how she's lost her sex drive. Probably due to me not being able to satisfy her In the way she needs. I highly doubt that i'd even be able to initiate sex without being able to accommodate her needs. Discussing the issue with her has made that quite clear.

>>17785562
Well how bad is it man, like scratching and biting can be worked up to but this sounds like she wants to shove a spiked mace up your asshole.

>>17785566
Pain makes me go limp like overcooked spaghetti

>>17785570
You can probably work on that while you're alone, trying biting your hand or wrist while masturbating and trying to maintain an erection. Don't focus on the pain focus on the feeling. I have the opposite issue, I can stay hard but I'm a quicky, so I focus on the pain, for you I'd say opposite. Don't give up, and make sure she knows you're trying, this thread shows that you care, if she could see this I think it'd make her happy.

>>17785482
hmmm,
Well I was going to explain some tips on sexual pain that causes arousal, but if she expect you to enjoy pain as well, then it's a bust. Idk what to tell you about that, except that it won't really work. If you really don't like pain as an arousal, then she's either going to have to accept that or she'll have to compromise. I'm into pain myself as an arousal, but my husband isn't, and that's fine with me. I use toys (clamps, suction, etc) to get me to my level of pain that causes arousal, while my husband just enjoys watching me get aroused and that makes him aroused. So, that works for us. But you can't force someone to like sexual stimulation that they're uncomfortable with. She's going to have to find a way to get off with the pain without you doing the exact same thing.

>>17785464
This, basically.

Plus you don't have to start out hitting her with a fucking whip or anything. If she's into pain she's probably into bondage.
Bite her, slap her ass hard, that sort of thing. Work your way up.

>>17785606
I'm fine with doing that to her, but she wants to be able to do it to me and if she can't then it feels like she doesn't have any interest in having sex

>>17785612
How old are you? How long you guys been married? if you don't mind me asking.

>>17785657
26 married for 3 years

>>17785663
Do you have any sexual fetishes you can maybe replace her providing pain for? Or can she deal with dabbling in just bossing you around, like nonphysical dominance?

>>17785671
Nope. It has to be recieving and inflicting pain that can cause bleeding.

>>17785681
I guess I'd go with the biting your hand and easing into it, or finding a way to let her do that and THEN you fuck, or fuck, and then she does that. Focus on why you might enjoy. Have her whip you and dominate you and then be like "Oh you were a good boy now it's your turn" and start foreplay and then fuck. Really is a dilemma but you're trying so.

>>17785681
No, you can't do that. You can't push your sexual fetishes onto someone. It doesn't work that way. If pain turns her on fine. Maybe you can do something to appease her. Something you're comfortable with. But wanting someone to suddenly rewire the way their brain perceives pleasure (i.e. pain=pleasure), that's not only unreasonable, that's downright selfish/retarded. Your wife wants to indulge masochistic tendencies. She can probably do that without drawing blood. That doesn't cut it for her. She's full of shit.

People that do this kind of thing have massive boundaries that are to be respected for mutual enjoyment - soft limits and hard limits. It seems drawing blood is a HARD limit of yours, meaning it's a line you're not willing to cross. Don't let her guilt you into doing something that is NOT PLEASURABLE to you.

This kind of stuff is for MUTUAL benefit, not just hers. She has to compromise, and if she can't grow up and stop being a selfish cunt, she can go fuck herself - literally.

You matter too, OP.

>>17785722
This all day.
If pain isn't sexy to you and she wants to force it on you or no sex at all it starts to sounds abusive and manipulative and selfish as fuck. How is she as a wife outside of sexual tendencies?

>>17786462
She's pretty good. Since we've moved into our new place, she's also improved quite a bit. I'm the sole income so she stays home with our son. She cooks, cleans, etc. while I work and when I'm home we both look after our son.