Am I fucking up again?

It sounds like you guys are hiding what you really feel by arguing over nonsense one of you doesn't trust the other enough to how they really feel and the other is too afraid to call the first person out on it. Or maybe you guys just don't love eachother but are afraid to be alone

Yeah, we thought about that, but that's not it since neither of us hides anything from each other. We have even discussed her feelings about my ex wife and the fact that I have a kid with her. That only bothers her because of how visitation schedules screw with a kid.

We are trying to work this out before it grows into something bigger than it needs to be.

>>17784980
If that's true and you are both totally ok with everything and there really isn't anything being hidden at all then one of you is mentally ill

>>17784990

Well, I was diagnosed with ADD about two years ago. Prior to that, I was diagnosed with PTSD for reasons I really don't like to discuss.

In her case, she was severely abused by her ex boyfriend. I have seen the police reports on the matter and it wasn't pretty. Prior to that, she had been raped when she was in high school. Hearing certain names or seeing certain vehicles still makes her jump a little bit.

One thing she tells me every day is that she is lucky to have me, because I actually treat her right. I am lucky to have her too.

>>17785026
There's no fixing that bro either be prepared to deal with each other's illness for the rest of your life or leave her

>>17784958

How are things in the bedroom? Might be a cliche but if things aren't right there then they usually spill over into everyday life. I know that if me and my G/f go more than a week without sex we get snappy with one another.

>>17785035
Things are good there. It could be better, but since my schedule got switched to nights and stuff, things have been kind of on and off. I think you may be on to something, though. We actually talked about a recent lack of sex over the last week and the fact that we both need it more often.

>>17785026
>she was severely abused and raped
This might be your problem. She's telling herself she's the lucky one because she's trying to convince herself of something.

Something to understand is this kind of trauma really fucks with a person. She knows she doesn't mean it, she doesn't mean to act out in that way, but its probably all she knows to do, if that's how she adapted to living with the abusive ex. Arguing. Fighting. Yelling. Its ingrained in her.

You have to give her time, man. Don't yell back. Let her vent. Breathe if you have to. You were fine apart, but the catalyst here is being under the same roof, and her security net has been torn.

Try to work with her, like you were raising a teenager or patient. Be her support, be the friend you are to her, but give her a reason to know you aren't backing down.

Consider therapy or creative outlets for her as well.

>>17786064
Also, since you mention your PTSD, look introspectively at that. Is there a trigger for it? Abuse, military, anything psychological? Maybe its what makes you yell back?

You both should consider couples therapy. It'll help tremendously.