Dating Standards

Because it is different to hear that someone doesn't find you attractive based on something physical you have nothing to do with personally, or that they think lesser of you as a person.

All the more because people tend to bit a bit crude and instead of sticking to different morals, they make it obvious that they think she's trash. No one would like the implication that their character is trash from someone they have feelings for.

because youre (truthfully) telling them they have poor value, not a very nice thing to hear

>>17780661
I doubt anyone wants to hear that due to no fault of their own, the person they like will never be attracted to them. Id rather be shot down because our personalities don't match than be told Im too short.

>>17780663
They are aware of the values and know ahead of time that people aren't going to agree with them.

>>17780654
they are not really upset you won't date them just pissed you would point it out. they would never stay long anyway

>>17780683
No one likes to hear that, no, but that's why by far most people stick to "sorry, not interested" or at most "sorry, not attracted to you" and don't specify what exactly puts them off.

Personalities not matching it also something else, it's all subjective. If you live in an environment where all your friends have casual sex and you had sex with two committed boyfriends once you sincerely loved them, someone telling you that you must be careless about sex and lust driven because you're not a virgin anymore is going to feel not just hurtful but unfair. This is obviously a more straightforward example than many cases in real life, but few people (especially few women given the stigma) really identify with being sexually wild. It's like how very few people consider themselves mean.

>>17780654
because they don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

>>17780698
In what way is it unfair. If I were a virgin Id totally understand why a person would feel that people who arent are careless about sex. Mean people shouldnt expect not to be called out and rejected for it. Same applies to wild people.

/r9k/ is leaking again. Fuck off back to your containment board, bitter virgin neckbeard.

>>17780709
I didn't say it IS unfair, I say that subjective perceptions don't tend to line up neatly. You might think: she's careless about sex because she's had casual sex. While she is thinking: I'm not careless about sex because I always use protection, and I had a one night stand once with someone I really truly felt right about in that moment while I could've fucked two hundred men if I really wanted to.
So if you tell that girl "sorry, I can't be with someone who's careless about sex" she'll be angry because she feels accused of something that she isn't at all in her own eyes.

There is no absolute truth. But I would always recommend just telling someone that you don't feel chemistry or don't see compatibility and not going into details. What's the point? The people who are going to go "oh okay, I respect that you're not attracted to my [certain quality]" are one in a thousand compared to people who will feel angry and/or hurt.

>>17780717
This post reeks of insecurity.

>>17780720
There are a few reasons why telling them is beneficial.
The main one is closure. They often ask why as well and lying or giving vague answers actually hurts a lot. Ive seen orbiters take something like
>I dont feel chemistry
As just meaning they need to try harder to make it. Because you didnt close the door the person can't move on.

>>17780737
I have rejected a lot of people and I am telling you that virtually no one can handle a reason. They start to argue that it shouldn't be important to you, argue whether they fall into that category in the first place, or they get angry because you reject them over it...

People don't get closure from magic words, they get closure from moving on. All they need to know is that you're not interested. If they try harder you have to be firmer. Step it up from "I don't feel chemistry" to "I already told you that I'm not interested in dating you, I'm starting to find it really annoying that you cannot respect that". THAT'S how you close the door, not by giving them something to obsess about but can't change.

>>17780737
>I dont feel chemistry
>As just meaning they need to try harder to make it.
Thats not at all what that means lol. The door is firmly shut, you're just imagining it's cracked. It doesn't matter what she says if you're like this, she can say "No you're a disgusting monster of a person and I hope you die" and yall will still sit here going "Well if I apologize and feed her enough compliments she'll come back right?"

>>17780746
> All they need to know is that you're not interested
The lack of closure is exactly why people orbit and get hurt so badly.

>>17780746
Hmm that reminds me. There was a dude who I was talking with briefly, thought he was a nice dude, but he was fat and I had zero sexual attraction for him. I was texting him while I was out one night, group of Middle Eastern guys offered to buy me a drink and junk, told him about turning them down. He asked why, and the truth was I'm just not physically attracted to Middle Eastern guys, but I told him it was because they were smoking and I'm turned off by smokers (which is also true). He made some comment like "Oh well at least you're not a shallow bitch or something just because they weren't hot enough lol".

Then when came time when he made a move and I had to reject him, I got stuck. Because if I told him it was because I had no physical attraction to him he would just call me a shallow bitch, even though literally everyone has standards in that category.

So I agree mate, people do not handle rejection well, regardless of if you specify your reasons or not. There is no good way to say "I don't find you attractive, sorry" without sounding insulting and hostile. Therefore that breeds hostility back. They'll feel like you've called them a name, so they'll call you one right back.

>>17780756
Knowing that someone is 0% interested IS closure. You are not going to agree with their reason period.

Again, I have tried, many times. What happens is stuff like;
>"we don't have anything in common"
-"But we have x, y and z in common!"
>"That's not what matters to me, I want to be able to share a and b with a partner, I have x, y and z in common with everyone."
-"But why would a and b matter for a relationship?? You are not giving me the real reason!"

And a thousand other varieties.

>>17780654
It is perfectly fair to reject people for any reason you want.
Do not judge them - say your morals do not align, but do not make them feel like they're bad human beings because they don't feel in the same way you do about sex.
Accept the fact that your dating pool is relatively small and a lot people want to date "pure" girls. This means that you have to meet a lot of people to find someone that fits your standards and be significantly better than others to convince them to go out with you.

Also, if I can give you a personal advice, sexual history is a bad topic to talk about. Avoid it, if possible.

>>17780777
>sexual history is a bad topic to talk about.
Why

>>17780777
>do not make them feel like they're bad human beings because they don't feel in the same way you do about sex.
this. This is 100% what this is all about. People get so caught in this bullshit of "If they don't think exactly the same way I do then they're terrible people!"
No, you have different opinions. That's fine, you don't have to be together. But no one opinion is inherently right or wrong. Especially not this one. Wrong for you, right for her.

>>17780772
Ah yes, and no doubt he would've liked you just the same if you weighed twenty pounds more...

But yes, they either argue about whether it applies/whether it matters, or they just get emotional about it.
I think there are rare people who, in the position of this guy, could've taken an admission that he was too fat for you to be attractive as motivation, but human psychology is typically pretty self-serving and more people would console themselves with food while reminding themselves what a shallow cunt you are. That's life, people need to reach insights by themselves.

>>17780774
>Knowing that someone is 0% interested IS closure
This is just false. I know too many guys who fawn over girls because they feel shes just not interested yet.

>>17780796
I am not saying that everyone instantly respects a complete lack of interest for what it is. But the guys who are -that- stubborn typically also think "oh, but I can change!" when they do get a reason.

>>17780795
>people need to reach insights by themselves.
It's near impossible to see your own flaws unless something happens due to them.

>>17780794
Morals aren't opinions. They inherently have the nature of one being right and the other being wrong. And you'd be hard press to find a moral where if someone doesnt agree then they are still a good person.
Can you imagine if someone said Slavery is wrong for you but right for me. Right now you are probably thinking of several reasons why slavery is inherently wrong because that is the nature of morals.

>>17780813
Not true. Personality flaws will show because family/friends point them out, or because you grow older and realize you keep getting into fights over the same things and that it might have to do with you. Stuff like being impatient, having little self control etc will get you in trouble working your job.

You typically won't get feedback from these sources on your looks, but I don't really see the merit of that either. Imagine one girl finds you unattractive because you are too short for her. Another girl might not find you too short. What is the added value for your self esteem and perception of yourself to hear it spelled out that girl A, who you don't have a shot with as established, thinks you're too short? If anything it will make you more insecure and withdrawn which makes you less attractive to future partners.

>>17780795
Probably not lol. I mean weight seems to be the defining feature in attraction these days. Hardly anyone wants someone who's overweight, even overweight people (which is why they tend to go after people thinner than them). Hell, even at best, fat people go for other fat people because they feel like they have to "stay in their lane". They would date a skinny hottie if they could, but they're out of their league so they'll date what they can get.
That's a whole nother topic though lol.

I'm with ya though f am. People want to desperately save their ego, it's completely understandable. We never want to admit we have a problem, we'd rather make it seem like it's the other person who has a problem.
"I'm not too fat, she's just shallow"

>>17780796
See>>17780750
That's more their problem for not being able to rationalize. Like i said, they can fucking say anything they want, and these dudes will still fawn over them. They can't get closure because THEY reject it. They delude themselves into thinking they still have a chance when she's done nothing but tell them they don't. There's nothing more she can fucking do. They're going to think what they want.

>>17780789
I should point out that I have a very brief sexual history and I'm not particularly ashamed of it - I am 25, had sex just with my husband. Lost my virginity to him at 20, after a year together.

When I was still dating, whenever someone asked me about my sexual history I knew that the relationship was over.
Some guys shamed me because I was virgin at 19. I got called frigid, made fun of because I was inexperienced. I got dumped because I didn't want to fuck right away and wanted to wait till the relationship meant something for me. I got guys yelling at me that I was young, I should have fun, I should fuck around.
Some guys thought that I should give up on my morals to date them.
Some guys treated me like a prize - they didn't date me for me, but they were all interested in the fact that eventually they were going to pop my cherry and have sex with an "untouched" girl.
Some guys started insulting girls who fuck around with me, because "I could understand it" and it is usually really off-putting to hear a man talk shit about women.
Some guys just told me they were relieved that there was no competition.
It always ended up with them saying something that sounded insulting, misogynist, dehumanising or just plain insecure.

It always got awkward for me. I still get annoyed whenever someone asks me my body count, even girls.

>>17780804
In college my roommate who I treated like a little brother was the typical nice guy. It literally destroyed him when he couldnt understand how girls werent interested in him. When a girl he really liked finally told him she thought he was too short he was hurt at first but he definitely moved on faster than the other rejections. For instance, He learned not to chase after girls taller than him.
I guess this isnt something a woman could really understand because women are chased and showered with praise while men have to play the number games with rejection.

>>17780822
>Personality flaws will show because family/friends point them out
Thanks for proving that you dont find these by yourself

>>17780834
People dont accept what the dont understand. Its not really hard to understand. You make think you closed the door, because you know you will never be interested in them, but you did not convey that to them.

>>17780819
Yeah ok, but why waste the effort in saying their lifestyle choices are the devil? She's never going to agree with you and you're never going to agree with her. She has different morals than you, fine. I meet tons of people who scream at me homosexuality is sin! I don't waste my time yelling back how bigoted they are and how I think they're a shitty person because what good will it do? At the end of the day they're still going to think I'm shit and I'm still going to think they're shit.
What I'm saying is,
Fucking move on. It's not worth your time to shit your pants and scream HARLOT ever time you see a chick who doesn't want to fuck you and just you.

Especially since their lifestyle choice affects you in no way. Slavery, you're taking another human being as property. You're dragging another human being into that shit against their will.
She's not dragging you into her sex cage against your will now is she? She's meeting up with other people who think similarly to her.

And for what it's worth, casual sex is A BILLION times more prevalent among men than women. Men are always running out of sluts to fuck because there are not as many of them compared to dudes just wanting to get their dick wet for a night.

>>17780845
You're right, I could've worded it better. I guess I meant they need to reach the insight in their own time, because they are ready to open their eyes and admit to their own flaws.

>>17780843
>He learned not to chase after girls taller than him
Which is not a universal rule... in fact some short girls can be weirder about it than tall girls who are used to men being at their level or shorter.

For the millionth time, I don't doubt that I have blind spots for not having lives as a man, but I have tried to explain to plenty of men why I was not interested in them and not once did someone say "oh okay, good to know". It was always insults, anger, trying to haggle, trying to reason. Basically not respecting my reason the same as they did not respect my initial rejection without details.

>>17780855
>>17780843
And for the record, you are arguing here that people get closure from being given a reason in a thread where the OP itself mentions that girls get upset over their reason instead of gracefully accepting it...

>>17780848
Again though, I can flat out say "NO. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER, I WILL NEVER DATE YOU NEVER. DO NOT SPEAK TO ME EVER AGAIN, I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS, I WILL NEVER DATE YOU. NEVER"
and they'll still go "Hmm, well I should just change her mind then right?"
Like that's what I'm getting at, what don't you understand about I have ZERO power to change the way they take my words. Sometimes, I cannot ever "convey" that to them because they've already decided there's no such thing as never or no. Only "not now".

I can't control how other people take my words. I can be as clear as I possibly can and they still won't get it.
I could get a fucking restraining order and they still won't get it.

>>17780654
It's not a moral standards either
Nobody wants a girl who fucked half the town, nobody wants to constantly run into people who have been inside her and we all know that the more men she has been with the more wierd shit she got into

>>17780654
Don't tell them it's because they slept around a lot because they will eventually hear it enough times to learn to lie about it
Remember you are entitled to reject anyone based on any fucking reason you can come up with

>>17780717
>Fuck you you bitter hateful virgin
>Fuck you die die die

>>17780839
>I knew that the relationship was over.
How is this a bad thing. from the things you describe its actually a really good thing that the relationship ended there.

>>17780878
It is not a talk that can bring anything positive to the conversation or the relationship, in my opinion.

>>17780839
I have news for you
Go to Sweden and amd people will bully you for being 15 and not sucking black dicks
Go to the middle East and people will stone you for showing your face in public
Different cultures means different standards

>>17780855
No ones ever going say they are happy after being rejected. But if they are going to move on giving vague answers is detrimental. Its not like when a woman knows several other guys are attracted to her and she gets to choose with the occasional man turning her down. Men dont get that comfort. The things you described as their response to your initial rejection are the stages of grief. Funnily enough which is needed for closure.

>>17780855
>they are ready to open their eyes and admit to their own flaws.
Says no one ever. You eventually realize though that something is wrong and you remember the things others have told you. Not everyone has someone they can walk up to and ask whats wrong with them.

>>17780887
And how does it have anything to do with what I wrote?
I dated people from the same culture and got reactions from "popping your cherry is the best thing I will ever get in life, all girls should be like you" to "it is shameful that you're virgin after graduating high school".
I was pointing out how it is rarely a conversation that brings anything valuable to the relationship.

>>17780892
Ugh, this meme again.
Not all women are being surrounded by men you know. I haven't had one even talk to me in 7 years.

>>17780892
Well, it's impossible for me to know what exactly happens in someone's head after they walked away, but I sure never got the impression that they were coming to terms with anything. And I still usually have to shut down the conversation with saying I am done talking about it because they will pick the reason apart and ask questions about that.

Once again, there is nothing vague about someone telling you that they're not interested. Emotions aren't rational. You might be able to pinpoint a hard dealbreaker, but that doesn't mean there needs to be something wrong with someone for you to not want to get into a serious relationship with them.

And for the record, I have been rejected, I have grieved for six+ months over being turned down by someone I was in love with, but I never asked for a reason and don't feel it would've made a difference. He was just not into me.

>>17780897
No, you dated people from the same country but not the same culture
There are lots of things that factor in like income and education

>>17780882
But it did. You need to know the person you are with and if you should be in a relationship and it informed you that you shouldnt in those cases. Which is much better than being ill informed about their personality.

>>17780905
Honestly, not really - went to a private school, met most people there, and we were all frankly similar. But I am not here to argue about stupid shit like this when it is not even the point of the post.

I don't think that discussing "body count" is good. In my experience no conversation about this topic ever ended with me and my partner being happier than before we had it.

>>17780654
Our society is a direct reaction to a previous society where the opposite was true. Full of persecution of small signs of promiscuity, people seeks to persecute the persecutors now.

Maybe in your lifetime you will see a generation that, again, mostly persecutes promiscuity (in public). Maybe not. This changes are gradual take generations.

Tl;dr You're antisocial and against the arbitrary social values of your time

>>17780902
Its not a meme. Its the culture. You may not have had one approach you in 7 years, but men never have women approach them.

File: download (1).jpg (10KB, 255x198px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 255x198px

>>17780922
>Never
Kek. I've approached men before. Because they don't approach me.
Got turned down every time, because I'm not really attractive.
Guess what, I took it like a champ though

>>17780916
Because you are a whore, if you could give a satisfactory answer then it wouldn't have caused any hardships
Everyone has the right to pick thier partner based on any expecting detail they care about no matter how meaningless it may be to you and you don't get to lie about it and then bitch when found out
Everything else doesn't matter

>>17780929
You're talking to >>17780839, retard.

>>17780903
You literally described the 5 stages of grief. You may not see the end result but you can know they will eventually accept it
>The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
If its not obvious to you I can explain the parallel between the response you see and these stages.
I doubt youve been rejected anywhere near the amount the average male has. I mean just look at tinder statistics. Im not saying you should give a dissertation on whats wrong with them. But giving vague answers is worse than an honest one.

>>17780920
>Rejection
>Persecution
What?
You can be as much of a whore as you want to amd nobody is going to drag you away from your home and beat you up with soap bars on socks
You are entitled to gang bang
Men are entitled to reject you
Employers are entitled to pass on you
That's it

>>17780915
I was pointing out how it is usually a bad question to ask to your partner and might poison the relationship because I cannot think of a way to handle the topic gracefully whatever the reply is.
If you think that asking about body count is a great way to avoid dating idiots I might agree with you, but I was suggesting to OP that sexual history is a bad topic to talk about ,especially if you put it in a "body count" way.

>>17780929
Did you even read my posts?
I had one partner, my husband, and lost my virginity at 20. How am I a whore?
When they asked me I said I was a virgin. Maybe read the posts before raging out like a retarded robot.

>>17780930
Yeah I don't believe a single word
Wich doesn't matter anyways since my point stands
If you want the right to fuck whoever you want you must also give that right to men

>>17780928
>I've approached men before.
The fact that you have to say it this way proves how seldom you do it compared to a man. You have no idea what playing the numbers game feels like.

>>17780928
You still single, pizza slice?

No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone. People who think that sexual history should mean nothing are as bad as people who think putting niceness coins should earn them sex. People can choose their sexual partner on whatever basis they like, however rational. There's always compromise, but trying to force something you're not comfortable with won't resukt in a lasting relationship.

Having lots of sexual partners says something about you. So do your hobbies and political beliefs. It's doesn't suit everyone, get over it. You don't get to sleep around for years and then stamp your feet when you can't get a relationship with someone who doesn't approve. Those were your choices, find someone who does find it acceptable. At least it was a choice, unlike people getting rejected for being the wrong height, something over which they had no control. But even then they can't demand a relationship with people who don't find them attractive.

It's an entitlement thing. You're not entitled to a relationship with someone. Your past and behaviour and personality do matter.

>>17780935
Hey if your husband wants to see you fuck other men it can be arranged quite easily

>>17780942
Itt women can't deal with rejection, hilarity ensues

>>17780935
Its not just about filtering idiots. Its about finding people whose values align with yours. Finding out your values differ can poison the relationship but its supposed to.

>>17780943
I doubt I want to fuck you, anon.

>>17780947
>Its about finding people whose values align with yours. Finding out your values differ can poison the relationship but its supposed to.
Then you can have a conversation about your values. You don't need to ask "how many dicks did you suck?" to know "how much does sex mean to you?".
It is perfectly fine if the topic comes up or if you let each other know your number, I believe it's important to discuss your values and morals, but in my experience people who straight up ask for my body count or want to know what I did with who are fucking morons.

The guy who told me he wanted a pure virgin waifu probably put as much importance on purity as I did, but still sounded like a moron who cared about the integrity of my hymen more than about me.

>>17780959
>You don't need to ask "how many dicks did you suck?" to know "how much does sex mean to you?".
You actually do. Hearing someone say they think crime is wrong but not tell you they have a criminal history is just wrong. But since you didnt ask if they had a criminal history you cant blame them for not telling you. You past speaks volumes about you more so than what you say.
You may think you are of high moral integrity but thats not what I want to know. I want to know if you actually are and if you act as such.

>>17780959
men have free will get over it
you dont have to answer the question but dont expect men to stick around

>>17780959
>I'm not like other girls
>Guy gets happy knowing you're not like other girls
>Call guy an idiot for caring that I'm not like other girls
Can you get more egotistical.

>>17780920
Any reason is valid. And girls go crazy if you don't like them for any reason, especially one they might already be ashamed of.
Did you really need to make a thread to figure this out?

>>17780857
>"Hmm, well I should just change her mind then right?"
No go would think this. Youre not even trying to convey and complaining people dont understand.

>>17780973
Not really, unless you care specifically about them having a low partner count and not about their morals.
It is not necessarily related. You can have a girl who never got the chance to fuck around but believes it is morally ok to do so, and a girl who fucked around when she was younger but now honestly changed her mind and believes it is wrong to do so.
What matters to you - their morals or their history?
If it's the number that matters to you, then you can of course ask but I'd be disgusted, and I'd feel dehumanised. If you care about them sharing your morals, then I don't think asking about the number is necessary.

>>17780974
I answered without any problem, I still do. I just don't have any interest in dating someone who thinks I'm valuable just because I didn't suck dicks in high school and not because I'm actually a good person.
Women have free will. You don't have to ask, but if you do don't expect me to keep dating you.

>>17780981
I don't like misogyny, like I don't like racism, religious intolerance or misandry.
I wouldn't want to be with a person who think that a group of people I belong to sucks.

>>17780853
>start to give reasons why slavery is inherently wrong
I never youd prove my point. Your argument is reliant of the fact that you think one is morally reprehensible but the other is not.

>>17781003
>Not really, unless you care specifically about them having a low partner count and not about their morals.
ding ding ding ding
it was never an argument about morals
who the fuck is so stupid that argues morals, morals come into place only when someone says something and does the opposite
>i wont date someone who care about my ick count
dont
you are entitled to
>misoginy
this isnt about misoginy at all, its about a group of people imosing their morals on others
men claim being a whore is ok but i dont want a relationship with one
feminists say nobody should reject someone based on sex history

>>17781003
>their morals or their history?
I judge a person by their actions more than words. The reasons obviously matter but the action has to be there or the words dont matter.
You morals dont give the full picture since i cant really understand the difference between
>I think people should be conservative with sex
Yet youve slept with 50 men and think thats conservative because all of you friends have slept with 1000 guys. The number matters. In no circumstance does it not.

>>17781003
There was no mention of misogyny. You are sounding awfully bigoted and egotistical.

>>17781013
>it was never an argument about morals

>>17780654
>Why do promiscuous people get upset when you dont want to date them for having loose morals?
>you dont want to date them for having loose morals
>loose morals
>morals

OP talked about morals, tho. Not about sexual history.

I don't think you understood what I am talking about.

>>17781026
it wasnt whats your point?
i belive in freedom and i absolutely hate authoritarianism why the hell would i be agains anyone doing anything they want?

>>17781020
Saying "I like you because you're not like other women" kind of implies that other woman are bad and you like me because I am different from them. I find that a bit misogynist and honestly off-putting.
It's like saying "I really like you, you're not like other niggers/fags/christians/muslims/men" - whatever group works for you. I mean, cool that you like me, but still sounds insulting.
Then, if you have another interpretation, tell me.

>>17781018
A number still doesn't tell you much tho.
I would prefer being with someone who had 3 partners from LTR than someone who had 2 partners from a ONS. I don't particularly care about the number, I do care about the morals and the reasoning.
I'd gain the kind of information I'm interested in asking "have you ever had sex outside of a relationship?" or "do you think it's fine to have sex when you're not in love/committed with your partner?".
The number doesn't truly matter, in my opinion, in this case.
Free to disagree. I'm just saying I find it off-putting.

>>17781063
>A number still doesn't tell you much tho.
it tells me all i need to know
the best way to know if its raining is ask is it raining?
the best way to know the time is asking what time it is
the best way of knowing the amount of previous sexual partner of someone then is...?

>>17781063
>"I like you because you're not like other women"
This isnt even what he said. Which shows how egotistical you are. people happy someone has a certain trait doesnt mean that the only reason why you like them.
Secondly you cant even grasp the difference between stereotypes and statistical facts. Western women engage in casual sex a lot. Thats not a stereotype. If you do not then you are in fact not like other women of the western world. Your ego is so big you cant even grasp basic things like this.

>>17781063
>"have you ever had sex outside of a relationship?"
Does not tell you if they slept with 50 guys.
>do you think it's fine to have sex when you're not in love/committed with your partner?
Does not tell you if they slept with 50 guys.
The number always matters. 3 and 2 dont really make a difference. But you need to be able to discern between 2 and 20.

>>17781084
he who controls languaage controls thought
the endgame is to change your perspective from did she sleep with x amount of men to did she love all her previous sexual partners? was she commited to them
so reeducation and brainwash

>>17781108
If she slept with 50 men and "loves them" it tells me about how little love means to her. The number is always important.

>>17781128
well wathever, you are going beyond my point and into something im not interested in arguing about
the number is important if you care about the number ys and if you go into a relationship being dishonest you are going to get dishonesty back

>>17781135
Im not going beyond your point. Im reiterating my point which is that the number always matters. Actions reveal more about you than words ever can. Id prefer if women didnt lie to me about the number because that would only cause distrust.

>>17780663
this
i know i'm a very low value mate, but it still hurts to hear it from other people

>>17781076
Then you do care about the amount of sexual partner and not about the morals.
If you do care about the morals, ask about them. I have no problem talking about my morals.
I do have a problem with people asking me about how many people I've slept with and have no interest going out with someone who thinks that the number of dicks I sucked says something about me, and I am a more valuable person because I didn't fuck around.

>>17781080
The word you're looking for is egocentric, not egoistic.
Honestly "I'm happy that you're not like other women" implies that you'd be unhappy if I was like them. How is that not misogynist?
And a lot of women do not engage in casual sex, it's not like 99% of girls fuck around and I'm in the 1% who doesn't. I am like a big part of women in western world. Saying that all girls are slut but me and your mom makes me want to go away from you.

>>17781084
Then do you care about how many people she has slept with, not about her morals.
Asking those two questions you know if her morals align with yours. If that was your concern, you wouldn't need to know a number.

>>17781164
>Then do you care about how many people she has slept with, not about her morals.
False assumption.
>Asking those two questions you know if her morals align with yours
There is no way a woman who has slept with 50 men could have morals that align with mine. see>>17781018
Who you are is defined by your actions

>>17781174
There is no way a woman who doesn't have sex outside of a long term, committed relationship and has sex just with people she loves could have had 50 partners.
If you think that the morals are important then you can just ask if she ever had sex outside of a long term, loving relationship instead of asking the number. It'd tell you more about her.

A person who is fine with casual sex can still have a low partner count.

>>17781164
Please look up what egotistical means.
There is nothing misogynistic about not wanting to date the vast majority of women. There is nothing misogynistic about finding a girl you want to date in a pool of women you dont want to date. Thats just more of you being egotistical. Misogyny is hating women for being women. Not being happy you arent dating a slut.
>And a lot of women do not engage in casual sex
We dont live in the same world. Statistical back up mine.

>>17781184
>There is no way a woman who doesn't have sex outside of a long term, committed relationship and has sex just with people she loves could have had 50 partners.
It is possible depending on what she calls a committed relationship. Long to her could be 3 months. What you are suggesting is simply assuming that the count is low.
And no, the number tells you more about her. What type of life shes lived, what her morals are, how she feels about love. You can ask and discuss your values at any point but the actions tell you more.
>A person who is fine with casual sex can still have a low partner count.
Possible. But then again, being fine with casual sex but never engaging in casual sex is more of a difference of opinions then me disagreeing with the way you live you life.
I didnt realize how strongly I felt about sex until I actually had sex so maybe shes a virgin who is in the same position I was in before I had sex. There is no excuse for sleeping with 50 guys.

>>17781188
Statistics back up you will die a virgin.

>>17781202
That lashing out. That's one way to admit you are wrong.

>>17781164
>I do have a problem with people asking me about how many people I've slept with
well you are entitled to,
>I am a more valuable person because I didn't fuck around
nobody said you arent
its a trait many people dislike like loud snoring, i dont think people who do it have less value but i dont want one as a partner

>>17781188
>Please look up what egotistical means.
It means selfish. I hardly can see how I am being selfish here.

>Misogyny is hating women for being women.
Misogyny is hating or holding prejudices against women. You clearly do have a prejudice if you assume that all women are sluts, when something like 1 women out of 4 or 5 never had casual sex in her whole life. And when the number for males is much lower than that.

>>17781164
>the number of dicks I sucked says something about me
I didnt even read this but its just false. You actions says a lot about you.

>>17781231
>It means selfish. I hardly can see how I am being selfish here.
Cant even google properly
>excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.

>You clearly do have a prejudice if you assume that all women are sluts
I didnt say that and no one has. Most women being sluts does not mean that all women are. I even specified that it was for the western world.
>Misogyny is hating or holding prejudices against women
No you idiot. The prejudice is against a particular group of women. Not women. Im actually getting triggered by how dumb you are.
>According to sociologist Allan G. Johnson, "misogyny is a cultural attitude of hatred for females because they are female."
You are so fucking dumb.

>>17781198
You're really stretching it.
If at 25 you had 50 partners and just had sex in committed, long term relationship, assuming you lost your virginity at 15, it would mean that you had 5 partners a year, averaging 2 months long relationships. Which isn't the case for literally anyone I know or even anyone I've heard of.
What I am suggesting is being reasonable.
> the number tells you more about her.
It doesn't. 2 people had sex with 4 partners in total, at 25. One had sex with 3 of them during an orgy when she was 17, and then she became the sex slave of a dom and had sex with him for the last 7 years. One had sex with them during her medium term relationships over the years.
Number is the same. Morals and lifestyle differ.

>Being fine with casual sex but never engaging in casual sex is more of a difference of opinions then me disagreeing with the way you live you life.
Then you do not care about the morals but you care about the number. Which was my point literally all along.

>>17781231
you are demanding a possible partner bends over to fufill anything you want but refusing to ask a simple questin
you complain people judge you over a number but then you judge them over a question
you are every single wrong thing in your own argument and you justify it by claiming the others are worse based on nothing but speculation
when someone asks you how many men you slept with all they are doing is asking you how many men you slept with
they arent judging you are a whore
they arent claiming you have less valuue than them
thats all in your crazy head

>>17781231
this is your train of logic
>why do you hit that man are you insane?
he is a racist that was goiing to hit me first because im black
>how do you know he is racist?
because he is white

you dont get to project yout own insecutiries into other people, you dont get to assume something he didnt say based on your own bias and you dont get to justify preemptive agression

>>17781245
>Then you do not care about the morals but you care about the number
Can you not follow a conversation. I care about who a person is. Morals and all. What you think your morals are and what I think they are arent the same. Like I said. you can sleep with 50 guys and think you are conservative with sex. We dont have the same morals. Your actions reveal your morals. Can you really not understand that. You need to research what morals are vs ethics. The way you live your life is more important from a morally point of view than your reasons. we dont lock people up for not thinking a crime is bad, and we dont release them because their morals sound similar to a person who didnt do the crime. The actions are the absolute measure of who you are, morals and all.

>>17781259
law is based on safety and societal sustainability
ethics are based on proffesionalism and controling that people dont abuse a degree through lies and manipullation
morals are just a tool to enforce behaiviours that benefit you onto others
morals are a diect enemy to free will, i dont aknowledge your concept of morals apply to another entity, if you want to create rules for yourself and live accordingly then great for you, i will even humor you and judge you according to those same rules
that is rules for yourself not others

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>>17781282
>

>>17781282
lmao all this bullshit just to avoid dealing with the fact that you smell like stale sperm

>>17781282
>law is based on safety and societal sustainability
Historically false. I dont even feel like proving this to you but Ill just say the standards of decency have been the invisible hand in the judicial system for a long time.
I actually started typing out a long rebuttal but your post is so uneducated I dont feel like it anymore.

>>17781259
I do not think that the number of people you've slept with is a good way to tell what your morals regarding to sex are.
You can have slept with 4 people and do not like casual sex or have slept with 4 people and like casual sex. Just look at all the virgins on this side - Most of them aren't virgins because they want to and would die to get some random chick to suck their dick. The fact that they're virgin hardly says that they value sex a lot and are saving themselves for a person they love.

Your actions reveal your morals for sure and I'd agree that someone who slept with 50 people doesn't have a conservative view of sex even if they think so, but on the other hand having a low partner count doesn't mean you're conservative and the number shouldn't be what you focus on as much as the morals and the ideals.
That was my point all along, maybe I expressed myself poorly.

Anyway I am not replying anymore, husband is about to arrive and I'd like to make him dinner.
Have a nice day.

>>17781309
>I do not think that the number of people you've slept with is a good way to tell what your morals regarding to sex are.
It is. It tells me who you are. How youve lived your life. Its a much more revealing method.
>the number shouldn't be what you focus on as much as the morals and the ideals.
how you live your life is the entire point of morals. Why would you ignore the way a person lives their life. Its literally the reasons for morals.
Next youll be arguing that employers shouldnt do a background check but ask how the person feels about crime. You are actually just wrong.

>>17780654

Let's be real here OP, you probably an ugly motherfucker who takes solace in not being loose.
Now if you weren't born with a fucked up hand of ugliness, you'd probably be just as 'loose'

Grow up

>>17781309
>Most of them aren't virgins because they want to and would die to get some random chick to suck their dick
Youve been on 4chan way too long. Most virgins are virgin by choice. Its especially big in people who arent big on western values which is the entire eastern side of the world with a larger population of people.

>>17781331
>anyone who isnt loose is ugly
This is how sluts defend themselves lol.

>>17781334

I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings by stating the obvious? :-*

>>17781334
ugly girls are usually more slutty than pretty girls anyway

>>17781340

OP's just mad that he can't get any lol

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>>17781331
>if things were like this, you would do this

ah yess, an """"""""""""""""argument""""""""""""""""

>>17781343
i can't get any either but i mostly feel bad for the women who are missing out on me

>>17781350

Your autistic statements sounds like the generic statement made by every other autism ridden virgin on /adv/. Whatevs, enjoy the crotch cobwebs and keep telling yourself that you're a virgin because you have 'standards'.

On the bright side, robotic sextoys are seeing great progress these days, so there's always that.

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>>17780654

>Why do promiscuous people get upset when you dont want to date them for having loose morals?

Why has all of /adv/ turned into a giant, stinking handful of bait threads and /r9k/ circle jerks?

Is it not at all possible to just have your opinions and standards and not come to /adv/ every god damned day to tell anyone that has different opinions that they're wrong?

Is it not at all possible for someone to think you're an asshole and you think that person is an asshole and just agree to disagree and walk away without making yet another pointless thread in which a million kids on the internet yell at each other until it hits bump limit and we do it all over again?

The thing is, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN HAVING THEIR OPINION CHANGED. No one wants conflicting information. No one wants to budge on the things they believe to be true. At that point its not even a debate anymore its just shit flinging from either side of the aisle.

Morality is a spectrum, ok? Its not black and white. Whats moral to you is immoral to others. Stop trying to shove life into a simple little metric box where every single issue falls into an either "right" or "wrong" category.

I'm so tired of these threads.

Also, your "graph" is full of shit. Have your morals. Have your opinions. Thats fine. Just get the fuck out of here. Please. /adv/ is dying and its your fault.

>>17781306
the judicial hand isnt the one making the laws you moron

>>17781018
I agree with this guy. People will say anything to cultivate an image of themselves, either to avoid facing things they regret or to attempt to get better treatment from others. You can state your morals all you want, if you don't abide by them, you're a hypocrite.

If I'm dating someone, I'm going to ask about their morals, I'm going to ask about their thoughts on sex and intimacy, and I'm going to ask how many people they've slept with. If they give satisfactory answers to the moral questions, but have a high number, I see that as inconsistent living, and will not continue to date them.

>>17781063
>Saying "I like you because you're not like other women" kind of implies that other woman are bad and you like me because I am different from them. I find that a bit misogynist and honestly off-putting.

You sound stereotypically female irrational here.

>>17781335
Sluts honestly believe this. Its funny and sad at the same time. I do pity you. But that laugh cant be stopped.

>>17781372

>You sound stereotypically female irrational here.

That kind of sounded like sound logic to me.

I don't understand how being off-put by some guy that tries to make her feel special by shit talking other women is at all irrational.

>>17781365
They have the final say in the law and how its carried out.

>>17781383
they dont even do that
seriously why are americans so fucking stupid

>>17781378
Feel free to pity me, I'm not the one feeling lonely.

>>17781379
Because it's based on lots of assumptions. Assuming the guy has an ulterior motive by saying that. Assuming he's shit-talking other women. Assuming furthermore that it's misogyny. It's irrational to jump to these conclusions when the guy was really just saying, "I like you, and it's unusual for me to find someone I like. This is pleasant, and you should feel good."

>>17781391
Except they do. The executive branch often has to release people they are holding in morally reprehensible ways because if the judicial branch finds out about it they can restrict their power. You just dont understand law. Legislative branch can say something is illegal but if the judicial branch deems it morally wrong they can dismiss the law. Please study up on 5th grade level government.

>>17781424
the supreme court does

>>17781447
>I dont know that the supreme court is part of the judicial branch

>>17781461
the supreme court
>have the final say in the law and how its carried out
in your own words

Dinner is in the oven, so quick reply.

>>17781420
That's not what he is saying tho.
"I like you, I rarely meet people with the qualities you have" is a compliment about me which I can appreciate
"I like you, you're not like other girls" compliments me by contrast with other girls. Like saying "You don't steal like other black people" or "You don't shoot people like other muslims" would be racist, saying "You don't fuck around like other girls, I like it" is misogynistic. If you wanted to compliment me you could have just complimented me and said you appreciate me as a person without feeling any need to put other girls in a bad light.

>>17781465
Yes exactly.

>>17781467
I dont think you understand how stereotypes work.

>>17781470
The supreme Court is its own organism and its conformed by 8 people

>>17781482
Theres the entire judicial branch up to that point. If the DA feels that a lower courts ruling is insufficient they cant take it all the way to those 8 people who have the final say. Whats your point here.

>>17781525
You claimed they get final say on how it's carried out
They don't, the supreme Court does

>>17781364
It has been this way since mods put the sticky on /r9k/. It specifically states that you should go whine on /adv/, not on /r9k/.

>>17781526
Supreme court is part of the judicial branch. You are intentionally being dumb

>>17781364
>the cdc is full of shit
My sides. Sluts no better than the medical/science community.

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>>17781364
>Morality is a spectrum

So is autism ;^)

>>17781650
These are the people who think they shouldn't be judged