Fear of having sex

>>17780332
Shit dude. I actually got a girl pregnant and she wanted to keep it. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to walk out on it. I was broken up with the girl at the time so it made things worse. In the end she promised to get rid of it if I got back with her. She did and I did. But then she told me I didn't have to be with her anymore. Something about her conscience. Turns out, she faked the abortion. I wasn't there, but her mom drove her to the clinic and she jusy sort of hung around for a bit. Got some gauze and wrapped it around her arm where she got supposedly injected with anesthesia, and sent me a picture of a fetus she found online. Her plan would've worked too...

...if she didn't have a miscarriage. I got so fucking lucky. We're not together anymore but I still fuck her. Don't use a condom, just pull out.

Anyway. Get whatever you want from this story.

>>17780345

>picture of a fetus she found online

Are you retarded? You think they show you the fetus? You think the average aborted fetus is in one of those dramatic single or few pieces? I realize this has nothing to do with the substance of your post but she and you were both stupid as fuck.

>>17780367
>You think they show you the fetus?

Don't know. Never had an abortion, fuckface.

>You think the average aborted fetus is in one of those dramatic single or few pieces?

Didn't look like that. Looked like orange chicken.

>>17780345
Wow. Wow. Oh my fucking god. Ohhh mannnn holy shit that is the worst fucking thing that you just barely avoided oh my god hahaha
I'm very happy for you man. Thank fuckin god.
But >I still fuck her
You've gotta be insane dude

Thanks for sharing, but "just pull out"... No way, that's one lapse of judgement away from a world of problems.

>>17780332
I believe that you are being reasonable; I take a similar stance. Being in a happy long term relationship has changed my views of sex for the better, as there is a foundation of trust and communication that alleviated many of the fears that I had. Someone that you trust and speak openly with will help you work towards mutual goals and maintaining peace of mind.

>>17780388
I guess you're right. I just really like sex

lel

I'm slowly starting to ween off her though. Gonna try to hit on other girls. And then I'll be using condoms 4 sure.

>>17780394
I feel bad for the kid
Castrate yourself for being so irresponsible

>>17780460
I don't, that upbringing would've been roughh...

>>17780393
Thanks for your input.
I agree, I'd only really want sex within a relationship to begin with, but there are plenty of pretty girls who make me question whether I'm just being an idiot...

>>17780332
Kek .. by that logic I'm thrice dead. That aside . Don't want kids while looking for The One (tm) either use condoms (which protects you from STD's as well) alternatively get your sperm frozen and get a vasectomy .. please note that this does not mean immunity from STD's why condoms are a brilliant idea regardless.

>>17780736
Wow dude, thrice...
I mean condoms are great, but they're not foolproof. A friend of mine had his break and guess where he is now...
The frozen sperm and vasectomy idea is interesting... but it seems so extreme.
Surgery to permanently remove my ability to have children? Scary shit.
I'd also worry about it causing trouble with my SO in the future.
But a solid solution I suppose...

>>17780332
I've felt the same for most of my life, before I met my boyfriend.
I doubt I'd be able to abort and the idea of getting pregnant and letting it fuck my life over made me feel horrible about sex.

Now I am on IUD and, if it happened, it would be with the mad I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

Get an IUD dude.

>>17780805
I have heard that the IUD is pretty effective, maybe combining that and a condom would put my mind to rest.

>>17780792
That's great. I hope I can end up in the same situation someday.

My advice is to learn what a girls cervical mucous looks like when she's ovulating.

If you're fucking the same girl track this shit together and download a fertility tracking app that you can both access.

If you're fucking random bitches use a condom and pull out.

>>17780833
Wow, is this really something people do?

>>17780784
Yeah .. got three kids. I *think* vasectomy is reversible these days btw .. research it a bit. And yes .. rubbers break, but you can cut the risk quite a bit by lubing it up ..

>>17780841

Yeah. I was with someone for a decade and we tracked cervical mucous and basal temperature and were super careful during ovulation. Didn't get pregnant at all. It's the same kind of things people do when they are trying to get pregnant.

Child support for 18 years == slavery

>>17780332
Alternatively fuck her in the ass and limit yourselves to oral

>>17780854
Now that, my fellow anons, is a plan .. salutations!

>>17780841
Sounds kinda overcomplicating/bonerkilling to me at least

>>17780844
Yes, it seems if you change back within 10 years it's possible to have it repaired, but complications can occur. I mean it is surgery after all.

>>17780846
I guess that's a pretty responsible way to do it. Were you using protection in addition the the tracking?

>>17780852
My view. It's not just about the money either, I mean it's your son/daughter walking around in the world... not something you can really ignore.

>>17780854
I actually was in a relationship for two years where we had a lot of sex, but never did the actual act. We didn't do anal though.

>>17780867
Yeah I agree it's not the most romantic method, but strong anxiety will do the same.

>>17780332
Not unreasonable at all.
I mean, I'm with you OP. I'm a chick and I literally would rather kill myself than be preggo. I'm not going to destroy my body beyond belief to spit out some bullshit screaming brat that will only be a blackhole of money and time.

I've never had vaginal sex. I only have sexual relationships with guys I'm seriously dating. I stick to strictly oral with guys I'm dating until I feel comfortable to move on. So far, this has never happened. Since I do not desire to have kids EVER, I'll admit I put more faith into contraception. I'm on the pill, I would demand a condom every time, and would probably use a third method on top of it all. Spermacide or pulling out probably.
Some people think I'm insanely cautious but idgaf. Those are my rules and I'm standing by it. Now, (at least until trump and pence overturn roe v wade like they promised) I also am in the position of power being the woman, in that I can get the abortion without anyone stopping me. However, I honestly don't think I could live with myself if I did. In reality, I think if I ever did become preggo, I'd just off myself. Only way out for me since I wouldn't be able to live with myself for aborting, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself being pregnant.

By all means man, you do you though. It's perfectly fine to hold off till marriage, or whatever. Are you going to have a large dating pool? Probably not. You can increase it more by being flexible with oral and the like, where jizz ain't going anywhere near the vagoo.
But that's basically the only cost of this decision, your dating pool is gonna be small. Do with that info as you will.

>>17780875

Sometimes we would abstain during ovulation but others we would use condoms/pulling out or spermicide. No protection when not ovulating.

Kinda blows my mind that more couples in long term relationships don't do this cause it's really easy and highly effective once you know what you're looking for.

>>17780881
Thanks for the response, it's nice to know I'm not the only terrified one.
>I'd just off myself
Really? Is that a 3-weeks scenario or would that include the morning-after pill, which can have the potential to work up to 3 days after?

>your dating pool is gonna be small
That's probably true. Do you think no vaginal sex would be a deal-breaker for a lot of girls?

>>17780911
That's pretty amazing. My guess is that it's not popular because it requires a pretty good judgement... Is it really that easy to tell? A lot of women have irregular cycles, and I mean if you miss the signs you're basically fucked right?

>>17780345
>We're not together anymore but I still fuck her. Don't use a condom, just pull out.
I wouldn't want anything to do with her after that, that pussy must be PRIME.

>>17780961
Prime ? This day and age and not having found it yet all I can say is good luck

>>17780332
Very reasonable. I am a father of two and yes your life will be over once you have kids. I love my kids, am i happy on the inside? nope been dead for 5 years now but i suck it up like a man a be the best person i can for them because they deserve it.

My gf and I have gotten rather lax with sex. Hardly ever use condoms unless i don't want to pull out. Use pull out only and no birth control. Been successful for over a year.

People are way too paranoid about pregnancy. You have to cum inside her for there to be any real chance of pregnancy.

>>17780460
No wtf. Besides the kid never got to exist. And how am I being irresponsible? Chances or getting pregnant with the pullout method are about the same as condoms. Nothing is a hundred percent not even the pill. So fuck off. Whenever you have sex, you're always taking risks. Same with driving a car. Same with going on a flight. Go fuck yourself, pal.

>>17780961
Shes pretty kinky, has rape and daddy fetish. Fun times. Doesn't like anal though. *sigh* a boy can dream.

>>17781935
Idk, "real chance" is pretty subjective.
Some girls are more fertile than others, and if you release early it's just game over.

I also got frisky in my last relationship, but after we got a bit intense and her period was almost a week late... God nothing is worth that anxiety.

Still interested in hearing other people's perspectives on this.

>>17782504

kind of related but would rather post here than make a new thread.

is anyone else scared of sex but not for reasons of pregnancy? im perfectly confident with condoms/pulling out/trusting shes on BC.

but when im at a girls house, typically a girl im not dating, just a thing, i just cant make a move, even when i know shes totally down. for some reason if im not completely comfortable with them i just can't do it.

any tips on just going for it?

>>17780332

Perfectly reasonable fear OP. Quite common for people in their mid-twenties although I don't know your age.
Fortunately, you are in control of your own life and nobody's forcing you to have kids. There is plenty of women out there, not interested in having kids as well.

True contraception doesn't work 100 % but unless you take unnecessary risks you should be just fine.

My girlfriend uses a P-ring, don't know the English term for it.
Got my ass handed to me when I asked her about how safe it was.. But in the end it was worth it as it gave me peace.

>>17783455
>Quite common
You really think so? Maybe just not to the same extent as me.

I feel like people my age are like "Well it probably won't happen" and "Well what am I supposed to do, not have sex?", to which my personal answer is, yes.

>Got my ass handed to me
I'm guessing you weren't quite tactful enough haha

>>17781557
Very respectable, if not enviable.

>>17780345
For god's sake, DON'T breed. You don't need to pass on your retard genes.

>>17780332
If that's really how you feel, then no, do not have sex. Because yes, accidents do happen, even with birth control. If the thought of having a child terrifies you, then abstain from sex, because if you have enough sex, eventually one of your swimmers is going to get through.

I'm a female and I've had sex I've never gotten close to pregnant because when ever I was fuckin I would fuck until they said they were gonna cum and then I'd suck them off until they did and swallow because I'm a good girl but use condoms and don't get worried! Good luck! <3

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>>17784699

>swallow
>them

>good girl

>>17780332
I think a great deal of things about what you said.
I'll try to summarize, but be aware that they bring more questions than answers.

1. A sophisticated sex drive.
The whole biological setup that could explain a life in which having sex is just natural is an incomplete biological theory. The idea here would be that an individual who is able to spread his genes at a larger rate would make such genes more present in the subsequent generations, thus explaining a natural tendency towards sex. But I find that what I came to call "the swan tendency", or a knack for only impregnating when living a symbiotic relationship is actually a strong biological trigger for sexual behavior, given that having too many children will probably cause the death of many adult individuals in a community, due to the great amount of energy kids requite, both from the body (gestation, breastfeeding, carrying) and from the individual (time, harnessing food, providing protection, teaching, and so on).

2. Conscience of self as a free person
That would put up some reservations to the triggering of a supposed swan tendency, given that a symbiotic relation causes a dissolving of the self. Also, it is projected towards other people, and, in that case, women, turning them, in your eyes, into free people, who can change their minds, and make their own decisions. This is a good personality trait, because we allow people to be what we believe they are, and, in that case, you are a guy who allows women to be free. It's a special gift.

3. Identification of Sex with Pregnancy
The Swan Tendency is a sexual behavior, make no mistake. That being said, your avoidance of sex is a sexual behavior, which means that that drive has two possible outcomes: Overthinking or Sublimation of "dräng", or drive. It is impossible to overthink all the time, as much as it is impossible to sublimate all the time. And I do believe you have made a very interesting unconscious process of dislocating "sex"...

>>17784668
>le don't breed meme
I bet your genes are fucking fantastic. Whoever you marry is gonna be one lucky gal with the privilege of taking your golden sperm and giving birth to a perfect child. You're so cool dude. I WISH I haf your genes. You're probably fucking smart as hell too. Do you work for a government think tank? I bet you could.

Fuck off, neet.

>>17784757
..."sex" towards "pregnancy". That being said, the object of avoidance in your life is pregnancy, and not sex. I consider that extremely useful, in the sense that when your sexual drive kicks in, you don't feel the loss of sex, but that of pregnancy, that, even in a biological sense, you feel deeply that you should avoid.

4. The refusal to be a man who fucks
Socially, it may be lonesome. Since men who don't fuck are simply invisible. There has yet not happened, in ideology, an operation capable of turning those men into a fetish, as it so often happens with any other category. Just think of The Rule 34, and the proliferation of sexual fantasies we have witnessed on media over the last century. Make no mistake, the making of fetishes have been around for a thousand of years, if not more, but the conveyance of such ideas through media kinda makes it real, writing it in the group of professed realities, and, thus, relatable with.

>>17784775
After writing all that, I would request of OP to answer one question. Do you feel sexually aroused during physical exercises of any sort?

Are there any guys in this thread who actually like the idea of having children?

>>17784800
I mean I'm aware enough to know that I'm still changing and might want them after 30 or something, but right now? Not at all.

>>17780332
Yup. you redpilled as fuck.
Having a kid is ending your life.
Unless you dreamt of it and love kids... aint worth it.
source: experience