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Anonymous
I'm jealous of my cousin 2016-11-19 21:45:06 Post No. 17778680
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I'm jealous of my cousin 2016-11-19 21:45:06 Post No. 17778680
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So my cousin lives with us (mom, dad, little sibling and me) since three years ago if I'm not mistaken because she's going to university and she's from a rural area. This is her last semester. I now go to uni too (I'm one year and a half younger than her).
I'm really lazy and she's hard-working. I guess you can see where I'm going with this. She helps with the housework more than me, and I like videogames and procrastinate a lot, although she is not perfect and my mom knows this. She acknowledges her flaws (she's sometimes lazy too, doesn't flush the toilet, leaves her shit everywhere...) and also acknowledges when I help her.
But her attitude has been bothering me more than usual for a while now.
Last year, unfortunately, her dad passed away. It was a difficult time for all of us.
Now, recently, I think it's been a few weeks since then, I started feeling jealous of her relationship with my dad. He's a little shy and cold, he's been like that his whole life, but he smiles and is polite and kind, it's just that he doesn't express his feelings too often, unlike my mom. And I inevitably am like him, I'm even more serious and cold. In contrast, my cousin is loud, cheerful, smiles a lot and likes to joke around. I've been very distant with her even though she sleeps in the same bedroom as me. On most weekends, she goes to visit her mother and siblings and comes back on Sundays.
But honestly, ever since she moved in with us, I felt that my privacy was taken away from me. Even more so when she doesn't go see her family and I can't do my stuff alone and peacefully in my room that weekend. Despite all that, I've always tried not to hate her and to be polite and smile at her, no matter how awkward it is.
Whatever, what's important here is that in the last few weeks something detonated my hate for her, and I think it's the way she treats my father. When she comes home, and my father near, she greets him by giving him a kiss on the cheek. She greets everyone like that...
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Does this end in some incest stuff, I'm getting bored
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(cont.)
...but it bothers me when she greets my father.
And when they talk to each other. Or when she asks him for help with the computer or something.
The final straw was when, last Sunday, he made breakfast for himself, my little sibling and my cousin. Spaghetti from the previous day (my birthday) and eggs. I got up a little earlier than usual and I thought that one of those plates was mine. Nope, turns out it was for them. Why didn't he make breakfast for me too? Because he never knows when I'm going to get up in the morning. Bullshit, when I come home late from school, even if at night, my mom keeps done food for me from lunch. And the same thing happened again today.
Today I have finally admitted that I hate my cousin.
After some alone time crying in my parents' room, I thought that maybe I hate all this because I hate myself. I feel useless and inferior when she helps with the housework. And when she does the dishes without anyone telling her to do it, it makes my blood boil, and it's even worse when I AM supposed to do it but she does it before I even realize it.
When this happens, I feel even worse about myself and feel like procrastinating even more. I think "well, idiot, if you want to be a fucking slave it's not my fault. Go and do it if you want, I'll be here not doing anything. Aren't you supposed to have lots of homework? Then stop doing that and let me do it, you fucking bitch!" or shit like that. She's like she's always trying to help in everything and it just annoys the fuck out of me. Even when I have to cook and she's doing her very important homework, she offers to the half of the work. And it makes me feel bad.
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>>17778688
Well be ready to get bored to death, my man
>>17778690
(cont.)
Anyways, right now my problem is that I'm jealous of her relationship with my father.
We don't talk much to each other anymore, because recently for some reason it's been more difficult for me to talk to him, more than ever, even if I just want to tell him about mundane shit like the news or random trivia. Yesterday I fucking cried after quietly telling him "thanks" for giving me a ride to school (when I was supposed to take a bus) and I don't know if he even heard me. I sent him a message saying "I said thanks for giving me a ride, and sorry for making you bring me to school once again" (this happened three times this week because I overslept). I think this fear I have of taking to him is precisely because I realized that I'm jealous of my cousin.
Now, I don't know what the fuck are "daddy issues", but I'm pretty sure that I don't have the Elektra complex because I love both my parents equally, I don't feel threatened by my mother, when they argue I take my mom's side, my dad's side or I take no sides, and I have a boyfriend who I love and is younger than me.
I don't know. I just feel like my cousin is trying to take my father away from me, like she's trying to steal him or something. I feel I'm a terrible daughter too, not only for my father, but especially for him because he's always been so passive that even to this day I'm used to yell or raise my voice at him over the slightest annoyance, which is something I'm changing now.
I feel like such an idiot. I feel so shitty right now. What the fuck do I do? I think every time I go cry and reflect on all this I'm a step closer to the solution.
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>>17778698
Post a picture of a girl who looks like you, and one who looks like her.
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>>17778802
So not going to help me?
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>>17778680
>>17778690
>>17778698
I swear I've watched this anime episode before
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>>17778680
1 stop being a cunt (reading the op It seems like you are working on it)
2 stop being a lazy shit in general, doing house chores is not slavery, its an integral part of being a familly and you have the duty of doing your part in keeping this institution gong
3 Tell your dad how you feel, that you think your relationship has growen distant and you want to fix that
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>>17779325
If you want a better relationship with your father, have one. If you want to stand back and be a lazy bitch and not take charge of your own life, keep on doing what you're doing. Because standing off to the side and whining about how much better your cousin is than you isn't working.
Now where's my picture?
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