Cheating GF

>>17778138
First off, relationships established through a tragedy never works out in the long run. They are opportunistic at best, only meant as a healing tool. Eventually, it wears off, and the original person will realize what a mistake it was to date you. She probably realizes you two aren't compatible or that you're not even her type. This is why she cheated on you.

és tuga op?

>>17778148
this

Also, the fact that you went to shangai to study means the pressure of friends and family to never do the wrong thing isnt there anymore, so she felt safer to cheat on you.

>>17778148
We have been together 2 years, i wasnt the one to go to her and start it. She did it, and we actually had a good chemistry, everybody said it, and i am not naive, i could tell when people were not just being nice. And she also did somethings for me that showed she loved me (or so i thought). The worst part is that she keeps sending messages telling me she will still fight for me disregard what happened, but i just cant go back to her without feeling like an absolute cuck. Cut thank you for your reply

>>17778159
Sou sim senhor, como sabes ?

>>17778138

If you fight all the time then it is easy to grow apart. Typically what happens is the girl loses interest and love in you from repeated fighting, and the guy continues to start fights because the girl is not fitting the model of the ideal partner that the guy has envisioned in his head.

You think you actually love her, but in fact you love the idea or potential of what she can be.

Let that sink in. Your pain, your disappointment is that she didn't live up to the standards and ideals you fell in love with in your head. She may have been this ideal when you first started out, or maybe you suspected she was then all of the nasty baggage that humans accumulate started to make its way into your consciousness and you started stressing out about it.

You loved an illusion, a fantasy.

She is just a normal fucked up girl and you are a normal fucked up guy and both of you have serious faults. What is true love? It is loving somebody for all the good and the evil in them. It is accepting who they are with all of their faults. It is respect for one anothers autonomy. It is trying to be a better person for each other. It is communication and compromise, not bickering and fighting.

I hope this helps.

>>17778161
Don't get back, cry all you need but don't date her ever again. If you do, you deserved what the whore did to you. Women need to remember that actions generates consequences.

>>17778184
The problem is that i personally think she was the one to start all the problems. When we were in a group, i was the last guy to receive attention (which wouldnt be a problem if i wasnt her fucking boyfriend). She has such stupid attitudes that i never had with her. Like we had planned to have dinner at 8pm, i was 5 min late, she said "too bad we are already here, we are starting without you" but when other people did the same, she would be willing to wait up to 30 min, Of course i fucking got mad of this, it was stupid and made me feel like i was not important to her.
Thank you for your reply

>>17778164
O paulo portas nunca engana

Olha, pelo que li ela está a tentar voltar para ti. Se fosse eu no teu lugar, não aceitava, porque se alguem esta seguro da sua relação, não trai. Tentar arranjar outra miuda para tirares a mente dela também é má ideia, porque não funciona.
Sugiro que aproveites este tempo para te focares em ti, nos teus hobbies, nos teus estudos em especial.
Quer dizer, estás a estudar em Xangai e vais deixar esta situação estragar-te este momento?
Queres mesmo que a memória principal disto seja "a minha namorada traiu-me"?

Mais uma coisa, não abuses na bebida.

>>17778209
Concordo com o tuga. Boa sorte, OP.

>>17778197

So she did something that made you feel not important. That is not what starts fights.

Fights happen when communication breaks down and anger, frustration take over. She may not have even realized how you feel about it.

When she does stuff like this, you tell her how YOU FEEL when she does something. If she dismisses how you feel and doesn't want to address it then it is up to you to decide if she is respecting you or taking you seriously.

When you break up with someone it should be because you don't feel like you deserve to be disrespected and you do deserve to be considered and loved.

There is no point in being mad about it though, she doesn't OWE you respect, it is not a contractual obligation. Sad is the appropriate emotion. Sad that she doesn't care enough about you to want to change her behaviour for your benefit.

>>17778209
Foram só duas cervejas (aqui a dose é 600ml..), não tenciono tornar-me alcoolico. E tens razão, não posso voltar a tugalândia com a memória de que isto tudo se reduziu a este episódio. Aqui sinceramente estou mais a fazer um gap semestre que outra coisa, mas talvez leia uns livros e veja uns filmes (adoro cinema). A questão de encontrar outra miudas era mesmo só para lavar o "mau sabor" que ficou, não é uma solução definitiva, mas eu pensava que ajudava. Eu não tenciono voltar para ela, a dor que sinto torna isso impossível, passo os dias com um aperto no estomago e só penso no momento em que se decidiram beijar, no que aconteceu na cabeça dela, e por causa disso ando a dormir mal (em 3 dias, 7 horas de sono).
Mas obrigado pela atenção Anon, e neste momento, sinto me sozinho, e saber que alguem do outro lado do monitor se dá ao trabalho de responder, já me deixa feliz. Abraço.

>>17778238
Dude, she fucking cheated on him. I know you're trying to help but she crossed a line with no turning back. If he's smart, he will never trust her again, there's no point in talking to her anymore.

>>17778242
Só te disse isso para que não faças algo que te arrependas.

Já pensaste em "megulhar" na cultura local? Vai ao google, vê sitios interessantes que haja por aí e faz uma especie de "roteiro" para um dia ou uma tarde. Nada muito caro, monumentos, museus, cinemas, sei lá. Escreve um blog na brincadeira, a falar da tua estadia por ai.
Só não passes o dia inteiro a matutar nisso porque não te leva a lado nenhum, nem te faz bem.

Um abraço pra ti também, e bola prá frente OP!!