Having dreams about my Ex...

Shit fucking sucks, man, but the only thing you can do it move on. Hang with other people, do other things. It is not easy to force yourself to do so sometimes but it has to be that way.
There are two things I have to add though. You have to learn to respect yourself. It might be not easy. But you really need to learn when to stop perusing someone. Second thing (which helped me personally) is anger. I learned how to stop myself thinking about a girl that I fell in love with (it was a short thing but felt really fucking good, but she had I break it) by just saying "well, fuck her. I tried, she fucked it up". You don't want to be full of hatred though. Just being angry at her helps me. It helped me to get over her, mostly.
My two cents , anon. We all will make it, just keep your heads up.

>>17776861
Its hard to "hang out" with people. To put it simply, I had a lot of friends. But as time has gone on, all those people that I thought cared about me don't hit me up anymore. They blow me off, and a lot of the times are just fucking rude to me. Normally I know when I've made a mistake, but all of those people I realized weren't really the best friends I thought they were all along.

I'm alone now. I don't have friends. I'm going to be 20 in a few months, I work but I'm not in college, I don't even know how to make friends anymore. I wasn't even good at it to begin with. I'm so fucking lonely and this all happened so fast and now I'm stuck at my house with no one.

I also will never be able to blame her. She did nothing wrong to me. But I get angry. This morning I was angry, I wanted to break shit. I was thinking about therapy but I don't want to waste my money talking to someone who most likely doesn't genuinely care about me.

I don't know. I'm scared, I'm alone, I don't have any fucking idea what to do with myself.

>>17776841

Those dreams suck. I still got them even after falling completely in love with my current gf. What helped cure me was writing a list of reasons why the relationship didn't work and why it never will. It's written on a sticky note that I leave in my dresser. It's a bullet point list that serves as instructions to get my brain back on track when it's in its shitty hopeful dream mode. When I would get those dreams or couldn't sleep due to racing thoughts I would read it.

You know this already but time will eventually heal your wound. This can only happen if you let go completely. Every time you try to contact her you open up the wound and set yourself back at day one. Treat it like an addiction you need to kick.

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>>17776841
Jesus christ anon are you me? This is exactly happening to my sorry ass except for the police and stopping at her work part.

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>>17776872
Oh my god you really are me.

>>17777104
Don't do what I did. PLEASE ANON. My past 7 months have been miserable, and I'm so sorry to hear you're in a similar situation.

And people are shitty. The amount of people I would call my "friend" have gone down rapidly within just the past few months.

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>>17777106
Nobody talks to me anymore, no one hangs out with me, she left me, and I always come crawling back to her, she talks to me and she's my only friend and I'm still in love but she isn't. Everyone has just abandoned me all at once. I'm in a comfortable groove of depression again. I'm not 20, i'm 18, no job, no college or plans for it, no motivation just bring me death. She ALMOST cut total ties with me but only blocked my normiebook, I try to see her, she's not sure, I'm sure I'll convince her to let me over one more time maybe.

>>17777110
I know time is rough friend, I'm gonna call you friend. I barely graduated high school 2 years ago, I dropped out of college. My family and friends all judge me for not continuing school, and I had a real lack of motivation as well. When it comes to your future, just remember that even though your an adult, you're really fucking young. You have so much time to make mistakes and find a passion, don't let anyone bring you down because of uncertainty.

The situation with the girl sounds rough, but at least it seems like you didn't ruin it as badly as I have. I've been with girls before, I've had girlfriends, and I can tell you that this was my first real, genuine love. Someone I was so happy with I just woke up in a good mood knowing I was going to see her later that day. Be careful friend, please be careful. I don't know this girl or your relationship, but if you care about her, tread carefully.

Don't be clingy, don't push things too quickly, give her space. I live life with many regrets, and I'm only 20 fucking years old. But if I could change anything it would be what I had with her. Be careful, and stay strong friend.

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>>17777119
>>17777119
Same pretty much, have had girlfriends, people I've cared about but this was REAL. I am pretty bad clingy, and pushy, I want to give space but like she probably won't come back and I fucking DIE inside imagining her banging another dude. I die. I'm trying hard to do things right but I'm a pretty hopeless romantic. I know i'm technically an adult but I feel the same as when i was 13 desu. Maybe smarter, little less juvenile but overall. Plus who knows, my health has deteriorated like a rocket, just sitting in front of this beast box all day everyday, no exercise, not fat tho. She basically just said she fell out of love with me, she just isn't in love anymore. and I die. I thought everything was fine, and one day she broke up and everything fell apart. I begged her not to go, I messed up once before and got her back, this time she just left, I thought maybe in a few days or weeks it would get better again, it didn't.

>>17777146
Holy fucking shit, are you really me? Are you seriously me?????? She said the same thing, that she just wasn't interested in this relationship anymore. Believe me man, I understand exactly what you're going through. The thought of my ex being with someone else makes me depressed, even typing this out I feel like a fucking pansy cause its causing my hands to tremble.

I fucking wish I could give you advice, but I just don't know anon. I just know that we shouldn't give up, somehow things will get better. Do you talk to her friends at all? With me, most of her friends hated me cause I was an asshole. I work a seasonal job right now, and one of my co workers actually knows her and is friends with her and her whole group.

I wanna talk to him so badly, but she said she'd call the cops on me. She must hate me, she must be disgusted by me, I just wish I had one chance to talk to her, it honestly feel like its killing me.

>>17777160
I don't talk to her friends because I too WAS an asshole, not anymore, the other guy shit is bad cause she has tried to be blunt to help me move on and said right out that she was going to fuck other guys, I was her first and wanted to be the only, her parents have the perfect relationship too, they've been together and only with one another since 8th grsde, I envy them. She still talks to me, not enthusiastically, but I am trying to just be a friend. They can never see that we do what we do because we are in love it's hard, and Harder when it's always our fault. I would just make yourself look good, associate yourself with good things idk I'm in the Samend shit boat

>>17777174
I wish I could just talk to her, to be honest. I'd fucking kill to spend 20 minutes with her. Not even trying to explain myself, apologize, just talk. Even though I was an asshole, I know we liked each other a lot, and she did care for the relationship, but at this point nothing I do will ever change her mind because of how deep I dug myself.

I'm honestly afraid to even talk to her friend at my work. To put it bluntly, i'm a 127 pound skinny decently fit white kid. Her friend is a big, tall, black body builder. The guy can kick my fucking ass. On top of that, I can't just bring up something like that at work, I think it's rude.

Maybe I'll ask the dude to hang out sometime, i don't know I think it'll just make my situation worse. It's been 7 months, I swear to god I could let go if I just got to see her one time and try.

>>17777185
God we are very fucking alike, I'm 125 pounds flat and have been for years, white, skinny. I've dug myself too deep too but maybe we can stay friends. If you make him like you maybe he'll mention to her "Hey so and so says he knows you, he's cool." But don't mention that you dated. Do you have long hair too? They cared for our relationship too, but dam I'm dumb. I would give anything to see her.

>>17777192
I had long hair, I actually cut it a few months ago. This is too funny man. Anyway, I think if he EVER mentioned my name to her she would tell him everything and I'd get my fucking ass kicked. Not saying I don't deserve it, but I'd love to be friends with this guy and maybe insert myself into this friend group.

Honestly I'm just fucking desperate, but I worked with this guy last year too when I first met this girl, and he's a sensitive person. Problem is he's a bit older then me, we can't go out drinking or anything. If I started hanging out with him I might get my foot in the door.

>>17777196
We are both desperate, emotional doppelgangers. Idk what you did to make her THAT mad, to get someone to hurt you. A foot in the door is a foot in the door, plus you gain a big black buddy.

>>17777196

I need sleep, I will be here in the morning I hope the thread is too, if not you can make a new one and look for me by calling me pete, no that's not my real name lol

>>17777198
Dude I was a real fucking jerk. Its kind of complicated to explain, but in short I put her in situations that would make her extremely anxious, I'd use language around her that she really didn't like, I was clingy.

I told her I loved her. I think that was the final nail in the coffin. She never told me much about why we broke up, just that "she didn't want the relationship anymore." For months I've been wearing a tin foil hat and thinking about everything. I can note every single mistake in our relationship, but a part of me tells me she broke up because she was scared. Last December, a few weeks before I met her, she tried to kill herself, slit her wrists, terrible scars. She's an alcoholic, has a drug problem, but you would never be able to tell when you look at her. My parents and whole family are drug addicts, she didn't look the part. She got put into AA right before we started dating.

She has only dated drug dealers, assholes, her parents even made a joke once that I was "too good for her." Sometimes, I think that even though I fucked up so badly, she really did love me back. But that when I told her, it scared her, and she didn't want to get hurt like she had been every other time.

But in my mind I'm a perfect white knight who saved this poor girl, which probably isn't even close to true, and is just a wishful fantasy. God i'm slipping into real sadness tonight, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

I have to admit for the first few minutes of reading this I though someone was trolling the few posts I had the past week about my ex.

7 months broken up as well, 3 year relationship. I'm 25. I broke up with her, because she started to neglect our relationship, we started getting annoyed at each other, sex became once every month or so... I felt like she was using me by just coming to mine to sleep.

We made up, decided to remain friends. Two months later she started weaning me off by seeing me less and less. I was OK the first few months then realized how much I loved her.

Two weeks back, she told me she had had a new bf for months. Obviously a rebound, moved so fast and all. She told me to stop contacting her, that talking to me doesn't make her happy, that she's not in love with me anymore. That we need a clean break, and both need to move on. She said she would never go out with me again.

I was an asshole too, I was going through really tough times... but that's no excuse. I should have tried harder and had more control over my emotions. I went through a horrible depression while with her. I suppose all the emotional turmoil left scars on her. She said there was too much pain with me.

She says she forgives me, but obviously she is still angry. No contact started 2 weeks ago, I hope she comes around. She was my best friend, and closest confidant. I, too, had sacrificed all my friends and family to be closer to her... now...

It's morning and I'm back and this shit is why I'm literally becoming scared to get in a relationship because I can't handle this emotional devastation every same time.

I'd like this to continue as well... I was a late comer >>17777294

Would you take an ex back if she rebounded? And didn't tell you for months because she was "afraid" of your reaction and wanted to take your cat (who didn't even like her)?

You need some fucking therapy OP.

Leave this girl alone. She obviously didn't feel the same way about you. That's life. Grow a fucking sack and move on.

Jesus christ this is pathetic.

>>17778345
Not OP, but here's my 2c.

What if months later you it hits you hard that she was the love of your life? That your stress/emotions/depression clouded your judgement?

Trust me, I read the book called "love or addiction?". It's decent by an experienced psychotherapist who went through stuff of her own.

In my case, after much pain dealing with my depression and mobbing stress at work, she started neglecting our relationship. Oh the regret... I hope she'll come around, and realize the beautiful unique relationship we had.

>>17778366
There is no "the one".

Guaranteed if you autists get out of your basements and go outside and start dating again, you'll end up finding someone just as good if not better.

There's no excuse for harassing a girl because she dumped you. There's literally zero chance for a girl to come back to you after you harassed her.

Just know for next time OP: if a chick dumps you, just fucking move on and leave her be. That is your only chance of getting her back.

>>17778376
We might be pathetic to look at, but it sad that you're incapable of feeling emotion that strong. How will you ever be truly attached and in love with someone if you honestly believe there is no "the one", we're not just looking for a fuck.

>>17778380
I'm not incapable of feeling emotion. I appreciate the woman I'm with now (for 4+ years). But if she decided to end things I wouldn't be sitting in the dark crying about her. I would appreciate the time we spent together and the memories me made and then I would move the fuck on. Just think of life as a serious of relationships (some better than others).

You guys need to realize that your life is more than just the woman at your side.

>>17778389
Then you've never truly felt "love".

Though she may be far away, though she may be angry at me, with a rebound, though I may come to find another to embrace, I will always love her. My last thoughts will be of her. I hope she is happy.

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>>17778389
Obviously life is more than the woman at our side but I personally think that time shared with someone is WAY better than doing anything alone. If your girl of 4+ years left you and you weren't sad as fuck, or hurt then how can you honestly say you loved her, for me I would fucking do anything for her, as much as it hurts I'm letting her go because it makes HER happy. I want to make myself happy too obviously but she is so important that it hurts to that extreme. The memories will always be beautiful but if it doesn't kill you that you'll NEVER be able to make any more of those memories than did you REALLY care?

>>17778436
you tell him anon :)

I'm in a similar position and I'm having a rough day today so I'm gonna use it to vent.

I met her a few years ago and we instantly clicked and became really close. Our friendship progressed into romance but we only dated for a few weeks before I ended up getting an opportunity to return to my home country so we agreed to call it quits and keep in touch as friends. Which we did, but her feelings never really went away and kept growing stronger, and eventually, after about a year of pining for me, mine came back. And we both completely fell head over heels in love for each other.

But we didn't want to jump into a relationship so we agreed to wait until we met up in person. She was gonna visit next summer. Until then we were open, as long as we told each other whenever something happened. Which we did, and it worked fine.

Until around 3-4 months ago I drunkenly kissed an old flame and she flipped. I didn't think she would. I thought it would be okay but it clearly wasn't. And she got angry and everything went to shit. I begged and pleaded nonstop for weeks and sometimes I would get thru to her briefly but then she'd just go cold again. So I would keep begging and pleading. But that meant I gave her zero space for about a month and that made her resent me a lot more.

The last time we spoke she said she didn't give a shit about me and has no opinion of me. She was so cold. I don't know if that's true or if she's just hiding her true emotions towards everything but it broke my heart even more either way.

Also, about 2-3 weeks after everything went to shit, she started seeing someone new. And again, I don't know if it's just a rebound/monkey branch to hide her emotions towards everything but it breaks my heart either way.

I love her so much and I don't know what to do without her. I'm struggling. And it's not like I'm a loser either. I have a great group of friends and a good social life. I've messed around with other girls at clubs and shit. It does nothing for me.

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Back again, last night she said maybe we could hang out today, I try to contact her, she doesn't look at the messages all day until it was too late to hang out. She finally looks at the messages way late, I send another saying what was up what did she do today. No response. What the fuck. I don't understand her.

Im in the same boat op...im 26,we broke up 6 months ago because she fell out of love...she moved out and found a rebound relationship in another city...Im still depressed and have no one...I still see her family sometimes but it makes it worse when I see them...I know I will never get her back but it hurts so much

>>17776841
Anon the pain never goes away you just learn to ignore it. I loved a woman 20 years ago she turned out to be a whore. I still see her in dreams. No matter what if you actuilly were fool enough to fall in love the pain will never end. The best you can do is take those feelings turn them into hate and join the military. I spent eight years killing people in the armpit of no place and it was that hate that kept me alive. Good luck anon.

>>17779140
>oman 20 years ago she turned out to be a whore. I still see her in dreams. No matter what if you actuilly were fool enough to fall in love the pain will never end. The best you can do is take those feelings turn them into hate and join the military. I spent eight years killing people in the armpit of no place and it was that hate that kept me alive. Good luck anon.

lmfao i laughed so hard at this.

>>17779152
That hate keeps me warm at night. Laugh all you like.

>>17779168
My relationship broke down because my PTSD from service got triggered half a year in, and later caused my institutional mobbing for years.