Thinking of breaking up with gf because her past

It's pretty petty, but dump her for whatever reason you want.

Also, if you're seriously nutting for a 'pure' virgin, you're gonna be searching for a long time. My advice? Go to a Muslim country.

>>17772429
doesn't have to be a virgin, though that would be nice

I'd just prefer someone who only has sex in committed relationships

>>17772423
Two guys really isn't that many. You gotta realize that dating options for a 21-year-old girl are VERY different than dating options for a 21-year-old guy. You have no idea what it's like to sign up for a dating app and get IMMEDIATELY bombarded by people very persistently trying to talk you into sex.

that dynamic completely reverses in your late twenties/early thirties. Women suddenly find themselves with far fewer options, whereas you'll actually start looking/behaving more like a man than a boy, and you'll suddenly have women making moves on you everywhere you go. And then you'll actually understand how "impulsive" decisions like that can happen

If she'd slept with 10+ Tinder dudes, if she still has the app while you're dating, then you'd have a solid argument. But come on, you're seriously gonna treat her like damaged goods because she had two little flings in her early twenties? It is a little bit ridiculous on your part

>>17772444
Im not going to lower my expectations of my gf just because she wanted to get showered with affection from dozens and dozens of thirsty guys

>>17772423
Are you fucking SERIOUS mate?

Only 2 guys? You have no fucking idea how rare that is with girls these days.

Keep her. Trust me. It's extremely unlikely you'll find a girl who has slept with fewer guys.

>>17772461
>>17772444
If you're content with loving a girl who used to be a pump and dump, good for you. Some people have higher standards than you.

Also its not the number per se its the context

Also do you realize what youre saying? "Most women are shit thus you should settle for slightly less shit"

>>17772458
>2 guys is now dozens

OP sounds like you're seething with jealousy for no real reason. You claim virginity isn't a factor so much as 'only having sex in committed relationships', but then you type stuff like:

> Every day it eats me up knowing I'll never be her first so why bother continuing the relationship?

Which makes me seriously reconsider how integral you hold that position. Honestly, if being 'first' matters that much to you, dump her because she deserves better than you.

>>17772461
Its not rare at all you fag. I know plenty of women who've only been with 1-2 guys. Not all of us live in hoe city usa

If you're not compatible then tou're not compatible, and there's not much of a way around that. But at 21, if this is what you're going to insist on, your dating pool is going to be awfully small, and much of it will be restricted in ways I don't think you'd much care for. Are you prepared for that?

>>17772470
>implying virginal women uninterested in casual sex isn't as rare as the Loch Ness Monster in this day and age

Enjoy hunting OP. You'll be hunting for a nice long while!

>>17772473
Where do you find girls like this?

The average girl I meet is ~5+, with a lot of 10+s

The Tindr part raisea more red flags than the 2 guys part.

>>17772470
You are so naive lol

>>17772484
*raises

>>17772472
I meant she gets attention from tons of guys from tinder

Yes it hurts thinking about all the firsts she did with some other dude. I could forgive that if they were in a loving relationship, but they werent, so its even worse

Sex is important to me. Why is it unreasonable to hold her to the same standard? If i had flings and she didnt want to commit to me because of that I wouldnt get mad i would respect that

Dump her and hit up the Church socials. Pretend to be devout, read the Bible etc. You'll get a devout virgin before long.

Sexual liberation is fucking cancer, and all of you cucks are going to regret being "super tolerant and progressive bruh" once your wife cock-carousel riding future wife cheats on you and divorces your pathetic cuck asses

>>17772484
I agree. The fact that she basically hooked up on tinder makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

>>17772497
>waaah girls don't talk to me ;______;

>>17772479
Have you tried not meeting girls at bars and night clubs?

Try a coffee shop, cooking/yoga class, book store etc. sure theyre not ganna be perfect virgin waifus but theyre not ganna be sloots either

>>17772475
I disagree. You do realize sex is inherently different experience for women right? When a girl loses her virginity she most often than not gets super clingy with the guy. Women have a hard time separating emotional attachment from physical pleasure, especially the first few partners.

Once shes banged 10 different guys shes basically a dude though

>>17772503
>haha virgin!

I only date virgin women, and pump and dump non virgins because theyre all trash

This>>17772484
is the critical part OP

It would be one thing if she had two real relationships before you, but she evidently does not treat sexual intimacy the same way you do.

There are women out there that are like you.

Still, try to sympathise with her "position of abundance".

>>17772520
But doesn't that make you trash? They're using you in the same way you use them. Your experiences with them have made you cynical, which damages your outlook towards future relationships. You're damaged goods, anon. You don't deserve the virgin bride anymore, she'd want better than you

>>17772529
>falling for weakest b8

>>17772520
>waaah girls don't talk to me take pity on meeh ;___________;

So many naive Virgins here

>>17772529
No because only religious women care if their men are virgins or not. The rest couldnt care less, in fact they hate virgins

You are entitled to any preferences you want, whether you find her less sexually attractive or you think you'll be less compatible as partners.

Quietly sitting on this for a year, letting her grow to love you more and more, only to decide then that you are not okay with her past that you were aware of the entire time after all... that's pretty douchey. I mean, you still can't help your feelings, but don't pull this defensive "why is this unreasonable" stuff when you were aware of this for a full year and are only deciding that you're not having any of it now.

To top it all off, put yourself in her shoes. Not to salvage the relationship, that's dead, go ahead and break it off. But because you are trying to argue from a point of reason that you start to care more about her past as you learn more about her. From her perspective... realize that you are pretty much telling her that everything you got to know from her over the past year, everything she did for you as your girlfriend, everything she showed you about herself, pales against to things she did before meeting you that you personally do not agree with ideologically. That's a slap in the face. So don't go in all self-righteous, just present it as a lack of compatibility you're sadly only realizing now.

>>17772586
I wasnt aware of it until relatively recently

>>17772589
Yeah I got that from your OP. Still though, imagine you were madly in love with a girl and one day she woke up and told you that she realized she found you ugly. And you went "...you tell me this NOW, after being together for over a year?" and she said "yeah, I'm just realizing it now".

You're not wrong for changing your mind. But that doesn't make it right/fair to her.

And for the record, this - being happy to fuck a girl and then growing used to having love and a sex life and realizing that you think you can do better or that she's below you or whatever now - is part of the reason why male virgins have a bad reputation for serious dating.

10 boys is different from 10 boyfriends

Just saying

>>17772600
Ten boyfriends at a young age means she's very whimsical/casual about relationships, that's not grand either.

>>17772597
This was my first long term relationship, how else would I know exactly what my values are? Obviously going into the relationship I didnt care about any of these things and I was just happy to have a gf. Its not that im "used to having love and sex" its that from the moment she told me about her past I couldnt get my mind off it. When she told me her past wouldnt it have been even worse if I just said "ew gross fuck off"? I think if its been bothering me every single day since then I have the right to at least bring it up

Why should a girl who gives it up so easily even deserve a boyfriend? Only a cuck would date used goods

>>17772484
agree the fuckapp hook ups are the issue and leads me to believe it very likely more than 2. I wonder how OP met her, how long she remained on tinder as they dated initially

>>17772610
How did you meet her?

>>17772610
I'm not saying that you necessarily could've prevented this (though you could've done damage control, see below for that), I'm just pointing out that her past is a static feature and it is quite possible for you to be within your rights not being alright with it, while she still gets fucked over on account of something she was honest about and was already known to you much earlier in the relationship.

No, the right thing to do was to be honest with her and tell her that it made you uncomfortable. You can express finding the info difficult to stomach without placing the blame on her and acting like your feelings are her fault.

Stewing things over hardly makes anything better. And it might have opened up a conversation where she could've shed a light on why she made the choices she did and make it more understandable to you. Or not, but then at least you are even more sure that you come from different places.

lol @ dating girls with terrible pasts. I Lol at people who wife up some sloot that has been fked hard 10+ times all by a different dude and how much cawks the sloot slurped off before yours . Sloots never change.Why do you guys even date these girls? If you can't find one that's worth giving up your freedom for then don't date one. I can tell you a nasty sloot who's blown tons of guys prior to you is not worth it. So many miscers ITT who can't find a decent non partying sloot, so they settled for some girl that's been plowed by plenty of men before them so they get mad when people can't accept pasts of other girls LOL. Not saying a girl has to be a virgin, but as OP stated the fkn girl has more than 2 tinder hookups. Are you kidding me? Are you telling me that people should accept that and date a girl like that? HAHAAHAA

>>17772634
Cool for you, but why do you type like a retard though?

>>17772620
>>17772625
At college

>>17772629
Thoughtful advice. How would I even go about telling her that it makes me uncomfortable? She'll probably just get mad, because I know girls pasts are a touchy subject

>>17772634
stop falseflagging idiot

It rustles me that there are so many ass holes who look down at guys who are attracted to girls with low numbers. Blaming op or others for being attracted to girls who haven't slept around is like being mad at someone for being attracted to blondes. Op, if you don't like something so bad that you want to end the relationship then end it. I don't care what that thing is you like what you like. As for myself I deserve the right to judge, dump, and turn down any girl for any reason even if it makes me a hypocrite. Why? Because I can and if you don't like go find some other dick to hop on

>>17772639
It is more difficult now because her anger will be twofold, not just defensiveness about this sensitive topic but also anger that you were not upfront with her right away.

Either way, in case you were still in time, the easiest way to handle it was to jump straight to the underlying psychology. Without accusation asking her whether she did not feel odd about losing her virginity to someone she had no feelings for. What caused her to decide that she wanted to experience that (for her first time). You could've pointed out that since you lost yours to her and it was such an intimate experience, it is odd for you to picture her going through that in such a radically different way.

You are not obliged to instantly hash out your thoughts. Sometimes it can be enough to say "I'm not sure how I feel about this, I'm trying to relate but it's somewhat uncomfortable for me now, can I think this over and get back to you?"
The key is to take responsibility for your own feelings/thoughts on it. The most common kneejerk reflex is to get defensive and start to make her responsible - "other guys would feel like this as well" etc... which obviously does not get you anywhere. She can get angry with you for projecting, pigeonholing her, accusing her of random stuff - but she can hardly get angry with you for having feelings on the subject matter that you did not ask to have either.

For the record, it is entirely possible that you do everything right and she still flips her shit. But if you've done all you could to be both honest and respectful with her, that's on her and only shows that she doesn't know how to argue and handle her anger like an adult. Big red flag, even more so if after calming down she does not spontaneously acknowledge this and apologize for it.

>>17772664
Right now, all you can do is own up to NOT being straightforward with you and accepting blame for that. There are plenty of sympathetic arguments for that like really wanting to feel differently, hoping you'd grow used to the realization, trying to figure out/solve for yourself what these feelings were etc... and now you find that you can't and it's become a breaking point for you. She'll probably still feel betrayed because of the time she was in the dark about this but there's little you can do about that after the fact. Good luck.

>>17772648
Guys. When have women *actually* ever done anything to you to make you feel discriminated against?

The only woman who ever tried to force gender roles on me were randoms at school and my mom. Can you guys really not say no to your mom and random girls at school who start sentences with, "Guys should...."?

C'mon guys. A few random bitches doesn't mean men are being persecuted.

Sir, you may dump a woman for any reason at all. Welcome to life.

... Just remember that so can she. So if you suck at sex, have a little dick, and are generally unpleasant to be around, don't bitch like a little girl when she dumps you too.

>>17772664
I actually have asked her about it before. She said that because her and the guys weren't seeing other people (and I doubt this) that it was "okay".

>daily "girlfriend is not pure virgin waifu" thread

Objectively speaking your reasons are pretty dumb and irrational. The fact that she had sex with 2 guys, in itself, doesn't affect the relationship. Sure, you may say "different values", "she might cheat" or whatever, but these are not certainties. Dumping someone for what she MAY do or for what she MAY believe means you will never have a relationship longer than a few months. For every single person out there you will find one action in their past that you dislike and that may suggest that said person has a trait you hate and doesn't align with your values or expectations or whatnot. Your pure virgin waifu doesn't exist.

Now, I can blab my mouth all day about how, objectively speaking you don't have a reason for breaking up, it won't change your situation. You might even believe me, won't change the way you feel. Not instantly, not without some time and experience. So, if you really are bothered by it, if you these things really affect you and you can't get close to her because of them dump her. It doesn't matter how objectively "wrong" your feelings are, because they're your fucking feelings. And at the end of the day feelings play a much larger role in any relationship than facts.

>>17772494
Any tips? I've been thinking about 'finding' Jesus, while still struggling with my demons to find a really nice girl that wants to help change me.

>>17772639
So I guess she was hooking up using Tinder while at college? Did she still have a profile and taking applications when you met her?

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>>17772423
> why is it unreasonable for me to expect that of her?
If being a virgin is a make or break factor for you, then why did you enter into a relationship without first determining whether she was one?

It sounds to me like you lied to her and told her that you loved her so you could get sex.

Now that you have gotten laid, you are looking for any shallow excuse to get out of the relationship responsibilities. Or maybe you just want to move on to new conquests.

Either reason makes you a dick. I do hope you end the relationship fast, and that she learns from your shining example of how most men are just assholes looking for the quick score.

>>17772618
> Only a cuck would date used goods
I am not goods, nor am I property. I am not a status symbol, or am I a notch on your bedpost. Until you figure that out, stick with your waifus. You aren't ready to play on my level.

>>17772713
She used a fuckapp to get laid, OP didn't need to lie to get in her pants anybody had a shot, she decided whom and when from the applicants

>>17772504
How the fuck do you meet girls at a coffee shop?

The other three make sense, but how do you approach someone in a coffee shop?

>>17772702
No she did not as far as I know

>>17772745
Say literally anything. Make comments about whats going on in the shop, tease her for her fancy drink, comment her clothing style, then segway that into questions ie so are you from around here what do you do etc etc

>>17772423
>only 2

my ass you need to multiply that by 3 women like to lie about their sexual partners.

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>>17772732
> OP didn't need to lie to get in her pants
He may not have needed to lie. But that does not excuse the fact that he did.

> anybody had a shot
After he dumps her, anybody will have a shot again.

> she decided whom and when from the applicants
Ah, the job interview analogy. What happens when you lie, get the job, and your resume is found to be false?

Oh yeah. You can lose the job.

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>>17772681

>>17772713
Because why would I ask her if shes a virgin when were dating? Thats autistic as fuck.

Secondly what the fuck? I never even told her I loved her. She was the one who said it first, and even that was not too long ago.

Thirdly I realize that I value loyalty and commitment over sex. Ive been an exceptional boyfriend to her. I do so mucb for her, my problem is that I question staying with her because Im not sure her values align with my own

>>17772804
What did i lie about

>>17772713
>thinking anyone wants a used up roastie like you

Lmao, enjoy being pump and dumped cause thats all youre good for

Remember this- a womans self worth diminishes the more partners she has. Why do you think some bimbo sold her virginity for like what $2 million on the internet? Female chastity is inherently valuable, and the greatest gift she can give to the man she loves is her innocence

>>17772444
>You gotta realize that dating options for a 21-year-old girl are VERY different than dating options for a 21-year-old guy.
This is honestly why I'm trying to avoid dating women. This shit's so unfair, while I was living a miserable life any potential gf was enjoying herself fucking whatever guy she was most interested in. I'm not even a misogynist, but this shit makes me so fucking bitter. And girls love to say they have it so hard.

>>17772814
>I do so much for her
>she tells me she loves me
>I'm not sure her values align with my own

Here's a good exercise

list what you've done/do for her

then list what she's done/do for you

and post it here

>>17772823
Hymen fetishes are boring. Much better degeneracies to piss one's life away with, anon.

>>17772832
I
>drive 30 minutes every day to see her
>drive her around because she doesnt have a car
>take her on dates, movies, beach, you name it
>hang out with her whenever almost whenever she wants
>help her figure out her finances, how to pay off her debts, give her job interview help and advice
>be there when her family gives her shit
>calm ger down when shes stressed and emotional
>encouraged her to eat healthy and go to the gym

She
>gives me emotional support when i need it
>sex
>helps me with my studies
>gives me gifts sometimes and pays for dinner sometimes
>all around super nice and caring to me

>>17772835
>wanting to be a girls first, look her in the eyes when she experiences all the new sensations, seeing her quiver and hold you as you first enter her is just a hymen fetish

Cucks everyone

>>17772813
Oh you can add to that every fucking job I apply for says something like
>we welcome diversity and encourage females and ethnic minorities to apply
They literally have quotas for these people, as in they are trying their hardest to hire someone who specifically doesn't have my skin tone and gender. Apparently I'm privileged though!

>apply for same jobs as a girl I know
>my grades are better, our CVs are similar
>she gets a job quickly, I'm still looking half a year later
I'm just so over it, all I want to do is drop out of life these days.

>>17772865
The west is fucked man

Not to worry the pendulum is starting to swing. The natural balance of hierarchy will be restored soon. All it takes is one crisis. The collapse of our current system will usher in a new age of traditional values, so be prepared for it. The degeneracy wont last forever

>>17772865
>>17772867
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1168182/Catfights-handbags-tears-toilets-When-producer-launched-women-TV-company-thought-shed-kissed-goodbye-conflict-.html

used to have a screencap of this but can't find it

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>>17772814
> Because why would I ask her if shes a virgin when were dating?
If not being a virgin is a red flag to you, then you needed to discuss that BEFORE entering into a relationship.

> I never even told her I loved her.
More proof to my theory. She's in love with you, all you wanted was a fuckbuddy, and now you are trying to squirm your way out of commitment.

> I value loyalty and commitment
So you dump her at the first sign that you may need to show it?

> I do so mucb for her
Including, apparently, breaking her heart. An exceptional boyfriend would not even consider that.

> Im not sure her values align with my own
What values does she have now that she did not have on the day you met her?

You are trying to turn yourself into the victim by implying that she cheated on you before she even met you. It doesn't work like that.

>>17772823
>a womans self worth diminishes the more partners she has for insecure virgin neckbeard sperglords, men who are not the bottom 1% trash won't care

Fixed that for oyu.

>>17772894
femanon detected

you just assume she truly loves him, when it's actually apparent he does more for her than she does for him

see
>>17772854

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>>17772823
> womans self worth
> self worth
> self
> depends on men
> self

>>17772907
read article in
>>17772890

>>17772867
I'm not so sure. Female freedom is linked to technological advancement, it's pretty well documented that developments such as the electric washing machine freed up a woman's time and allowed her to pursue other things such as a career and education. Today we see apps like tinder which increase a woman's sexual freedom infinitely, she has all the choice in the world now.
It's so fucking absurd, just look at education and how women today get more degrees while men are apparently dropping out of life. When men got more degrees it was terrible but now that the tides have turned it's apparently a wonderful thing to be celebrated! The trouble is both men and women are hardwired to look after women at the expense of men and at the political and national level this manifests itself in a heavy focus on women's issues (not too heavy though, they wouldn't want to accidently disprove some of the nonsense they spew) with an almost complete indifference to men's issues.
The really sad thing is I still love women, I still want a relationship and girlfriend, but the lives that they lead these days is so off-putting. It doesn't matter though, my opinion is irrelevant to them. They've got what they want out of life.

>>17772470
>If you're content with loving a girl who used to be a pump and dump
you make it sound like you view your gf in the same light as a public toilet. for a girl in her early 20s, 2 partners is a low number and you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman who has fewer/no partners that's not super religious or retarded

>>17772921
>2 partners is a low number
This has already been brought up. 2 partners is a low number which is great if they were 2 proper relationships where she liked the guys and they were happy together. 2 tinder fucks, and even giving up her virginity to one of them (what the fuck) isn't a positive, it's 2 black marks against her.

>>17772897
Haha, beta detected

Only beta numale faggots wouldntolerate slut gfs

>>17772894
For the tenth time, id be willing to stay with her if she wasnt a virgin but she lost it someone in a LOVING RELATIONSHIP

I'm not trying to squirm out of a anything. Ive already done a lot, look at the post above

Im considering dumping her because I realize id be happier with someone with the same values as me

Its not that her value has changed its that i realized theyre not the same as mine. Shes okay with hooking up on tinder, im not

>>17772423
Wow, congrats op, you are a fucking loser

>>17773069
>settles for used up sluts
>calls others losers

>>17772758
but when did she stop? A week before meeting you, a day, 6 months? What? When was her last acknowledged hook up on Tinder?

>>17772921
she wasn't a pump and dump but a hump and dump. She and other women use Tinder to find guys to have no strings sex.

Just do what's right for you.

>>17772423
I dont blame you. Never be with a loose person

>>17773132
Her last hookup was in july? And we started talking in september of last year. I remember asking about it and she said she deleted it when we started dating

>>17773097
>fucking 2 guys makes you a slut
You truly are a beta virgin. I've actually had sex kid, and with a lot more girls than that. Who gives a fuck.

>does tinder hookups
>lost her virginity to a hookup
>it was only 2 men teehee

She fucked at least 10. If you pressured her the truth would come out.

>>17773306
Well the first dude she dated for a few months before having sex

The second dude im guessing it was a week

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>>17772423
The past partners rules is: girls x 3, guys / 3.
If she told you there were 2 it's probably 5 or 6. Girls usually don't count restroom BJs, handjobs in the car after a party, when they were too drunk to remember and some don't even count anal.
It's still a good number if you like her. It's not her fault you are 21 and only got laid once.

>>17773330
There is also the 5/2 rule. For every 5 partners she had, she probably has had one MMF threesome already.

>>17772694
>And at the end of the day feelings play a much larger role in any relationship than facts.

Holy shit this is 100% true and it took me years to realize this.

>>17772423
You're shallow as fk anon.

>>17772470
Uhh hun, its unlikely to find a girl thats had less than 6 partners at the age of 21. Girls start dating around 12 and start having sex as low as 14.

Do the math. And fuck you for even considering 2 partners as "pump and dump" you're never going to be happy so get used to it.

>>17772829
>makes me so fucking bitter

Dude, being bitter because women are having sex and you aren't is fucking weird. It's not her fault you were miserable. You're basically saying that if you had been able to get laid you wouldn't mind her past. Kill that anger in you.

>>17772858
"If I use the c-word their argument is defeated" never change, 4chan.

>>17772423
It's been a year????? NOW her beliefs, values, etc. bother you?

I don't think so. Her earlier decisions on sexual partners are nothing compared to what's out there.

Go ahead, you idiot, dump her. There's nothing else anyone here can say that you will be happy with.

>>17773153
you make it sound like it's a bad thing
>girls want to have nsa fun
>guy want it too
wrap your peter, have some fun while you're young, and marry a woman that's got experience when you're both used up

The women on an anonymous advice imageboard are not an accurate representation of the women that are out there. Those that are here have severe emotional problems, and that's why these used goods have been easy lays to so many.

Go with your heart, OP. Your perfect match probably does not exist, but settling for someone you feel shitty about is never the right path to follow.

>>17773485
>You're basically saying that if you had been able to get laid you wouldn't mind her past.
Yes that is exactly right, if I had been some easygoing charismatic guy who got laid and had gfs in the past then I wouldn't give two shit because I'd be on a equal footing. It makes me angry and anger isn't something you can just get rid of.