My fiances mom just sent me a text, that their dog died today.

>I love you. I'm here for you
They don't give a shit about you right now, they care about the dog.

Help remind them of the good experiences with the dog.

>>17769504
Yeah, i do think that reminding them of good times might not be appropriate at that stage of grieving already...
I mean, anything you say is just plain inappropriate. But not saying anything is rude af too.
I also obviously wouldn't say those statements you quoted to the parents...but only responding with a variation of "this must be fucking painfull" seems too distant too. God, why is this so hard!

Just let them know through text that you are sorry for their loss and if they need anything to let you know. Maybe mention a memory you had about their dog.
" I'm so sorry for your loss Fiancés mom (insert name). (Insert positive funny memory) I remember when I last saw him he wouldn't stop following until I threw him his favorite toy. If you need anything, don't hesitate in letting me know. We will all miss (insert dog's name).
With your fiancé just be there for him and offer to listen to them if they need to talk or take them out to cheer them up with a small treat they may like. Sometimes they just want someone to be there to show them that they care as they go through their grief.

>>17769524
This but dont add anything about memories with the dog. It will only remind her of her pain.

>>17769524
Thanks! This is really helpfull.
But why is everyone suggesting to include a memory? I can only speak for myself, but if i lost a loved one, i certainly wouldn't want to hear that. Maybe after a day or a week or whatever, but not immediately... But then again, i have no experience with this and might be very wrong. Do you speak from experience, anon?

I think we are all iffy that is why I said maybe. So err on the side of caution and don't add it. It just depends on the way the person is. If they bring it up then feel free to add your own. I have lost a pet and at the very moment I was in grief and was sad for my loss but I couldn't help but remember the sweet moments too. But the rest should be ok. Go with your gut.

>>17769533
>But why is everyone suggesting to include a memory? I can only speak for myself, but if i lost a loved one
How old the the dog? Did it die in an accident? Did they know it was coming?

If it was a sudden death from an accident, it might not be appropriate. If it was "his time" and it had a decent life, then reminding of the good times is absolutely the way to go. Providing good times is what pets are for.


You don't need to shove in a memory into what you say just to make sure one is there, but it's a natural thing to talk about for pets.

>>17769550
I think it would be a tad pathetic to come up with my own "memories" sinc they lived with this dog since he was a puppy and i might have seen him about 7 times all together... But i will use the rest, thanks anon! In any other case, i might have gone with simply being sincere, but i hadn't spent much time with the dog im general so it would feel fake... Being sincere would have turned out too blunt i fear.

>>17769563
He was very old and sick. They put him down today, it was coming since weeks.

I won't include it since i don't have many memories with the dog. It would come out staged and that seems worse than not saying anything.

I just sent a text along those lines:

I am so sorry. What sad news...
I really hope she was able to go peacefully. We will miss her a lot.

Was that appropriate?

OP do you have any memories with the share?
Share your material

>>17769626
Sadly, not much.
His mom just replied and said "thanks so much" and a heart.
I think i will visit them on the weekend and maybe share memories i have at that occasion. Or ask them to share stories with me and bring out the photo album.

I know i am seriously overthinking this, but i have another problem regarding this.

My fiance is in military and i'm not sure if i should send him a text too or wait till he brings it up. I don't want to text something and he didn't even knew yet... I mean, his mom surely texted HIM if she has texted me, but maybe he hasn't read it yet...

I'm really not good at this...

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>stages of grief
>a dead dog

>>17769613
Yep, just right

>>17769649
Well, he grew up with this dog and loved her very much. She was just like a family member to them.
I don't know if one grieves the loss of a dog similar to the loss of a human, but i'm better save than sorry...

>>17769661
Phew. Thanks to you, anons... You saved my ass - once again

I think you're ok with your text, her response proved that. As for your fiancé, do you communicate everyday or every week? How regularly does she communicate with him? If you are not sure you can shoot a quick text to her and ask her if she told him and if he responded to her. Whenever you do regularly communicate with him ask him if he heard from his mother if he doesn't bring it up. If he says no, then tell him what happened and that your sorry for his loss and will be there for him in anyway you can and that you plan on seeing the family this weekend. If he knew it was coming, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise for him but it will still be painful news. If you feel it would be too much of a distraction from his current position, then you may want to wait for a better time. If in your regular communication session he does bring it up then tell him you're there for him.

Jesus christ its a fucking dog move on cunts

>>17769649
i used to think like that too until my brother brought his stupid dog to my house and honestly after a while i changed my mind. dogs are so loyal and they just make you company no matter what.

when he dies i think i'd be really sad and as i said i used to hate dogs... it's weird

>>17769649
>>17769887
>reddit joins the fray