Ho ho ho, it is holiday season again. It is no secret that my

>>17769371
What's your husband's position? Does he know your relationship with his mother? What does he says? Does he want his mother to be with you on Christmas? Did you tell him that you don't want?

>>17769371
If she won't even speak to you directly and makes you feel bad, you shouldn't feel obligated to spend christmas with her. Tell your husband to grow a pair and not let his mum control him.

>>17769397
We talked about this a while before hand. He knew I did not want her to come this year. I said, maybe next year we can do Xmas there, but with the newborn baby, I don't want the added stress.

Her birthday was Nov 2nd, and I fulfilled my wifely duties of buying a nice gift for her and sending it. Before I sent it, I told my husband, I know this is going to make her want to come down here, and I am not ready for it right now. In 2017, okay?

But she started pressuring him and then calling my family members, who then called me.

I told him, sure she can come down, but how about before Christmas. She blew up.

He has a real issue with his mother. I would call him a mother's boy. He is from Boston and I heard that is very common there. He has strong feelings of both love and hate for her.

His parents got divorced when he was a baby and she never even dated after that. He is her only kid, her only son, and there is an extreme amount of psychosexual tension and the mother is very jealous and hateful towards me.

I just want to feel comfortable at Christmas, and I gave birth recently and I think I deserve that. The timing is just bad.

>>17769407
That is how I feel. I mean, come on, she could have even EMAILED me and said
"Congrats on the new baby! I would love to come down for Christmas."

But instead she went to my family directly, and asked them to apply pressure on me. I mean, honestly, if I hadn't just given birth 2 weeks ago I would give in, but give me a break. I have enough on my plate right now without having to deal with this nonsense drama!

You married into that family, knowing what and who your husband's parents are. Were I you, I'd return the check and offer to host them for Christmas. Explain that you aren't ready to travel with an infant but you'd be delighted to have them up for the holidays.

Put your foot down on this here though with your husband. This is as far as you're willing to compromise. Then spend the next month practicing your fake smile and grin and bear it. Maybe stock up on your booze of choice if you aren't breast feeding.

>>17769418
Oh shit, I'm retarded and didn't read enough.

Yeah, she shouldn't have gone behind your back, she should have asked your husband. Either way though, that's small potatoes. It's cruel not to let her see her grandchild on the holidays and it's not like you didn't know she was a cunt when you married her son. Buck up and be an adult.

>>17769371
It is short notice having a newborn, and to scream at her son for not giving in shows that she is used to him appeasing her. She's hating losing that control, especially to another woman.

Now that you've said no, you can't go back on it. You have to show her that once you make a decision it's final. She will continue these tantrums if you or your husband even hints at the fact that she may be right and somehow is entitled to a stay whenever she likes- especially during the holidays or when she throws a fit.

I agree with your decision, it's too much during a hectic time of the year that you should be enjoying.
Like you said she couldn't even be bothered to congratulate you herself on the delivery of her Grandchild, so don't let her guilt trip and manipulate you or your husband with using that against you.

If she does want to visit soon, maybe suggest January or February? She is showing an interest in your child which is lovely, you don't want to discourage that, but... With the way she's going about it, she doesn't deserve to mediate when and manipulate until she gets her way.

>>17769408
Well on the one hand you are right,and she started all this little war with you. And why she doesn't talk directly to you?she should had talk to you the day after the birth,or even being there in the hospital (if possible Ofc) at the other hand she is a grandmother and she deserves the right seeing her grandchild. But again,she has to accept you,and make a move to come closer to you.
Why doesn't she talk directly to you? Was she always like that?you should talk with her about that

>>17769371
>suggested she come see the baby at another time

I'm a guy but even I feel like this is a cunt move. Idk maybe in your culture it's different.

>>17769444
She is kind of delusional. She really loves her son but she is very cruel to him also. She just ignores me.

I offered her to come down Thanksgiving or before Xmas to see the baby. Yes the baby who she did not congratulate me on, who when she found out I was pregnant said all sorts of nasty things. But now she wants to see it.

I am breastfeeding so no drinking and it is time consuming. I want to establish a relationship with my baby right now, not impress my mother in law.

>>17769418
She is divorced by the way so it would just be her.
I Did Offer
This just NOT ON XMAS.

That is what the fight
Is about

>>17769462
Why? Its A newborn baby not a 3 year
Old that knows what is going on.
Its just another day.

>>17769468
Well you need to talk about all these with your husband and take together a decision.he should handle her. Did you try? What he says? That he wants her on Christmas with you? Remind him how awful she treated you all these months,that she also didn't congratulate. And now she will come for Christmas with you? To do what? Act the good grandmother? Or cause you both problems?

>>17769545
Its already causing problems.
I couldnt even sleep last night. Not something you want to have happen when you are already running on empty because you wake up every 2 hours to feed a baby. It just stinks. It makes me dislike her even more for doing this to us right now.