Is ex gf the problem or me?

But she got a new bf while we still hung out talking of getting back, never told me until recently to get my cat and because she said she was "afraid". Basically a month after they started dating they went on a 2 week vacation abroad, as we used to do. And she doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. She says she forgives me for my outbursts, but still says that there was too much pain with me and she let herself feel angry at me since before she was too "afraid".

Am I the problem here, or does she have issues? Or both?
Is her new bf just a rebound? Think she'll contact me once her anger subsides? (No contact started just two weeks ago, though we broke up several months ago. We were hanging out for the first few months)
Is there any chance of me having a relationship with my condition? Will all girls leave me once they know my burden?

>>17765869
>>17765872

any story that takes more than one week to tell tends to not have a single 'bad guy' in it.

your issues are your own, and you try to make it seem rougher than i tis.

you mentioned PTSD, and then you mention rough childhood.

even if your childhood was rough, true PTSD would overshadow that.

I'm not saying that either of those are false or untrue, but the point is you are trying to paint yourself as broken as possible. and when you open with

>ptsd
>rough childhood
>IS IT HER FAULT?

really its no ones fault. a little bit of both your faults, but mostly, no ones fault.

you guys dated. things went south. you broke up. you tried to get together, but it wasn't going to work. this happens all the time, even without ptsd and rough childhoods.


>will future girls break up with me once they know my burden.

many will. some wont. most will find a different reason. break ups are natural, and most people break up becuase of incompattibility.

the truth is most women want to be taken care of. im not sexist, im not pol or r9k, its just a very basic and understandable social dynamic. women have a very 'shallow' support.

they make up for this in many other ways. they take care of men in a very different way, one that many would argue make men feel more fulfilled.

but ultimately women want to be taken care of. if the guy gets super depressed, you are a burden to her and she should leave.

if the girl gets super depressed, you need to man up and support her through this.

its just the way our social dynamics are at the moment, so most women (not all) arent going to want to be with you.

some might, they're out there, but all relationships end so dont focus on something that lasts forever.

>>17765893
>you guys dated. things went south. you broke up. you tried to get together, but it wasn't going to work. this happens all the time, even without ptsd and rough childhoods.

Is that how it actually looks? I might naturally have bias in thinking that she kinda didn't try to get back with me, she didn't really wait for me and just got with someone else and pretended to be doing it so she could get my cat (who really didn't like her that much even) and because she was "afraid" of me...

also can anyone answer this;
>Is her new bf just a rebound? Think she'll contact me once her anger subsides? (No contact started just two weeks ago, though we broke up several months ago. We were hanging out for the first few months)

Because she was there during my worst, I still love her and always will despite what she might have done which seems manipulative to me.

>>17765869
Damn, my story is really quite similar. She already moved on to the next guy and I just feel shitty. Idk how to help you really since I'm in the same situation, but yea.

To me, it felt better after I started keeping something like an emotional diary. I dont make it an obligation for myself to write in it but it still helps me order my thoughts and feelings.

The seventeenth is coming up wich would be our years aniversary, so bring in the icecream.

If you can, move to a populated area and try to socialise more, especially if you live in the middle of nowhere too.

I tried to break up with her out of myself too. Like, eventhough she is the love of your life, you just have to break up. Keep the icecream nearby just in case. It hurts like a bitch but a man thats scared of crying aint no man at all.

>>17766216
The mobbing caused me to be left without my school/job for this year, and due to financial issues I had to move back with my dad, in my shitty 3rd world country. No friends here, and not really a chance to socialize until I get a course/job for the rest of the year (nearest in a few months) and deal with the hearings etc.

Dad is ex-mil high rank officer and really grizzled veteran, he got me to hit the gym immediately knowing all my problems. And let me tell you what, I go 6 days a week and it helped me loads. I cannot stress this enough, but I am actually dealing way better with it since.

I think she has an anxious attachment pattern, which might explain why she just got someone new immediately. And I noticed this guy is just an inferior version of me by all aspects except for the mental issues (lol). She is still angry at me, despite saying she forgives me, so I still hope that during this all-too-late no contact she might get over it. I plan to send her a message over facebook (she unfriended me two weeks back when she told me of her new bf) saying how much I valued her as my best friend and closest confidant over the years, and that I hope she finds it in her heart to talk to me again.

I still have hope, though she might be different due to her own issues, I trust her to not forego all our trials this easily. I have told her I have changed all these months after continuing to suffer in all aspects of my life. Now to just let time do it's thing.

>>17766255
Ah, I feel ya. I think I kinda had the same. The whole desocialising and other stuff. I am stuck a day's away from civilisation right now with not even gyms nearby.

Its good to be near people that tell you they love you. I didn't notice she was the only person who said they loved me in the past year. The sourness of breaking up is still haunting me.

She kinda has something similar with PTSD though I can proudly say I helped her over it, kinda defeating the point of staying near me. She broke up via text right before I was about to book a trip to some sunny tropical island for the two of us.

She really was the best friend I ever had and helped growing me as a person. I don't wanna loose her and still try to talk to her, yet she kinda tries to ignore me and I'm desperately trying to stay in school. I know I should work out more as well, and yea, socialise more.

Just, tell your parents to say they love you more now you don't have a significant other to make you feel loved. Trying to put that into words to your parents is the hardest.

>>17766313
True, she was the first and only person so far who showed me I could actually be "loved". Especially after my school found out my past and went after me, as far that I was called a "murderer" and later a "terrorist" for my services in the past. I felt that I was truly a monster, and she had showed me love...

I think about talking to her we're in the same boat as well. I would suggest the no contact thing, I plan on sending her my message when it's christmas, so there's a good reason as well. Plus it will have been 2 months not talking, and she might have gotten over her anger at me to talk to me once more.

I lack the chance to socialize and will for a few months more, but my greatest suggestion is find a way to work out. Really, it made such a dramatic difference. If there are no gyms nearby, go for a run for 50mins and then get some dumbells/barbells and work out the rest at home.

My parents are not the kind to show love, they never have in my childhood and can't now. They do things their own way though, like my dad convincing me to hit the gym (and paying for it haha).

I just hope she will realize the hollowness of the rebound (who even looks very similar to me lol), and come around to be able to talk to me.

>>17766348
I know the feeling bro. I am trying to speak to her less about the past, eventhough I'm someone who needs the past to build a future in my head. I know the way forwards is just to stop thinking of her as a posibility of a future. It just sucks to feel the time you wished spending with her catch up on you.

I even chose my studdy for convenience. I liked electonics, civil engeneering and architecture and chose for electronics purely because it would mean i could get a job right near her ashured and well paid in a year and a half. She will still be in med school for the coming 4/6 years so we could maybe live together.

It hurts having my life still concist of the plans made to be around her, yet I know its better for me to just stop seeing her as someone i can come back to in a relationship. My parents always were quite abusive and love isnt really a thing I could expect from them.

Wanna move to private chat or something? it doesn't seem like anyone else is talking.

>>17766391
Wow, we are pretty similar :)

I was actually about to head to sleep, just waited to see if you were still around. But if you have kik add me and we can chat! OpethSyndrome

Maybe we could help each other through this with much less pain :)