Okay, I need some genuine advice on how to get over or accept

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>>17765437
Have you search for these?

>>17765437
Google "short men with beautiful women" and stop using that as an excuse.

If you can't get girls it's because you broadcast "You wouldn't really want me" in your behavior and attitude.

>>17765452
>when will they learn

>>17765451
He'll still be short, just with obvious complex too. Like a nigger wearing white make up.

>>17765452
Basically this.

>>17765451
Yeah, I was actually going to mention this in the OP, but I forgot. I already wear lifts in my boots, and it makes me slightly more self confident. I haven't had the courage to wear them to class or anything. It would be weird if I suddenly shot up to 5'8". Also, they're incredibly uncomfortable.

The whole point of the thread is that I want to be comfortable with myself. My last therapist told me the lifts were fine, but I'm not sure if that's the case. It honestly doesn't seem beneficial for my mental health for me to be wearing them.

>>17765452
That is what we call "cherrypicking". I could also google tall Asian women, but that doesn't change my perception of reality. I'm sorry, but that doesn't help me.

>>17765437
My boyfriend is short, same height or probably even slightly shorter than me.
I don't really give a fuck. I could probably get someone taller than him, yes - I'm pretty tall myself, have a nice body, and I am not bad overall. I couldn't get another person I love as much as him, another person who is so sweet, kind, devoted, loyal, smart, funny, hardworking and strong willed.
He has plenty of things to love. I would prefer if he was taller? Yes. Would I pick another guy over him just for his height? No.

>>17765437
Why do you really care about your height? It's something that we can't choose or change. The thing is that you should focus about things that you can handle. Like your behavior,hair style etc. about the relationships, if a girl doesn't like you because of your height then she doesn't worth to be your gf. You should find a girl who will like your personality,your appearance. There are not many girls who really worth,i know,but you can find the one

>>17765484
>I would prefer if he was taller? Yes.
Is this what all girls with short bfs think? I want a partner who can't stop thinking about me and desires every aspect of me. I want to be that person's exact type/perfect match, if that makes sense. Given my height, do you think that is a pipe dream?

>>17765492
> want to be that person's exact type/perfect match, if that makes sense.
It doesn't. Nobody is TEH PERFECT MATCH.

>>17765489
I pretty much spent the whole original post explaining why I care about my height.

>>17765484
>My boyfriend is short
>I don't really give a fuck
>I would prefer if he was taller? Yes
Hm?

>>17765494
There is!
My bf is the perfect for me!

Put your energy into something creative. Girls respect that.

>>17765506
How old are you?

>>17765500

Would you leave a girl just because there are others with bigger boobs and better asses?

It's the same thing, don't act all offended over what she said. You'd say the same thing.

>>17765514
I've never heard a guy say "I'd prefer if she had bigger boobs" once in my life, because most guys are content with what they have. The fact that she even thinks about how she'd rather have a taller bf is very telling as to how loyal she is.

>>17765437
>I will ever get into a relationship or feel good about myself.

Here's the funny thing, those two things are not so related as you think.

You blame your height. Fine. I have and ugly nose, fucked-up teeth. and look like a scarecrow. I'm still happy even if I'm alone.

Stop putting your worth into whether or not a woman will like you. And I bet my ass a lot of women have liked you, but your complexes are more of a turn off that your height.

>>17765524
>because most guys are content with what they have.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, good, I needed a laugh.

Anon doesn't go around saying she wants her boyfriend to be taller. We are talking about height, so it came up. Make a thread about boobs and see if guys don't say they prefer a specific type of body. Don't make me laugh, "most guys are content with what they have." Hahahahahaha

>>17765492
I find him handsome and am really, really attracted to him - I get wet just by sitting around him.
He's not my perfect type physically, and honestly I don't think it is the most important thing in a relationship either. I'm not his perfect type either, probably. Does it matter when we are each other's best friend and we can't sit around each other for more than 30 minutes without fucking? Not really. We've been together for 10 years and I still have to find a guy I find half as attractive overall as he is.

>>17765500
Your attraction to people isn't the average of how much you're attracted to different characteristics of their body.
I would prefer if he was taller, I'd be an hypocrite if I told you I love how short he is.
But on the other hand I don't think it is much of a deal, and I don't care because I think he is overall handsome. Sure, he's not a perfect 10/10 in every way, but neither am I and I don't expect us to find every detail about each other perfect.
He's great. I am happy with him.

>>17765524
>because most guys are content with what they have.
...

>The fact that she even thinks about how she'd rather have a taller bf is very telling as to how loyal she is.
Then fact that you interpret a very human statement relevant to loyalty is very telling as to how insecure you are. And this insecurity will affect your chances much more than any height.

>>17765524

Haha, goddamn, 4chan sometimes. So closed off from reality.

Guys that actually GET women always say shit about wishing their girlfriend had X thing. That doesn't mean they're going to dump them the second a nicer pair of tits comes around, but do you really think every guy is like "well I finally got any girl to date me so I'll never think about improvements?"

There wouldn't be threads here about guys complaining their girlfriend is fat if so.

>>17765524
>because most guys are content with what they have.
Ridiculous.

> The fact that she even thinks about how she'd rather have a taller bf is very telling as to how loyal she is.
I didn't even say that.
I said I wish my boyfriend was taller. I specifically said
>I would prefer if he was taller? Yes. Would I pick another guy over him just for his height? No.
Which means I wouldn't want a random, taller boyfriend, but I would like if my boyfriend was a bit taller than he is.

>>17765437
No excuse. I'm the same height as you, chubby/overweight, ginger, 6/10 looks and somehow I've managed 20+ sexual partners and several long term relationships. Yeah i get teased by my mates now and again but then i just rip the shit out of them, its all good fun.

You just have to own it mate. Dont drop out of uni, might aswell get your degree. If you're depressed, hit up a doctor.

>>17765549
I don't know what the hell "own it" even means, in that context. Give me a tutorial on how to "own" certain aspects of my appearance, because people tell me to do that so often and I haven't got a clue as to what it actually entails. It sounds like a vague platitude.

>>17765545
But surely, you would leave him if a 6'2" guy with a ton of positive personality traits came along. I feel that I am second-rate and any girl would leave me for someone better in a heartbeat.

>>17765561

This is what you, and most other guys with confidence issues don't get about relationships. You see yourselves as commodities on a market - like a girl starts out with a grocery shopping list of traits and whichever guy checks off the most boxes is the guy she'll go for until the next guy that checks off more boxes on the imaginary checklist comes along.

That's not the case. Relationships are built on a lot more than that, as is attracting someone. Some people care more about certain things. Some people suck and DO have this checklist mentality, but that's the point of dating, to weed out the ones who suck until you find the one that doesn't. Make sense?

>>17765561
>But surely, you would leave him if a 6'2" guy with a ton of positive personality traits came along

Dude, chill. This is paranoia.

We all have cool, intelligent, funny and/or attractive people around all the time. I, at least, don't make a ranking of the girls around me and whoever has the best score is the one I go after.

Attraction is not math. You don't add up your stats until you cross the "attractive" threshold and that makes you attractive to ANY and ALL girls.

>>17765524
My last two gfs were chestlets. You bet I was constantly thinking "damn, I wish she had bigger boobs".

>>17765561
No? Do you think I'm some sort of sociopath?
I don't love my boyfriend just because he fits my preferences in many ways. Sure - if I had to write down a list of the qualities I like in men, he'd fit it 95% of it. I love him, tho. I care about him, I enjoy our relationship, I am looking forward to the life we've built together and I love the person I am when I am with him.
Unless something major happens, I don't see myself leaving him, especially over something insignificant like his height.

I live in an area where everyone is very tall (6' is average, a lot of guys are 6'+) and literally everyone who asked me out since I met him was much taller than him. Some of them weren't bad people. But I didn't love them, so why bother.

>>17765561
No wonder you can't get a girl. You are a massive whiny faggot. No girl is attracted to someone as insecure as you.

>>17765571
I've met a ton of women who say things along the lines of "No one who's under 5'10", please." If there are dealbreaker traits for someone, that doesn't necessarily mean they have a "checklist" mentality. Like, I wouldn't date someone who's 300 pounds, but overall, I don't look at things in the checklist way that you described. There are just certain qualities that happen to be dealbreakers for people, and my height happens to be a dealbreaker for the majority of women.

>>17765582
Okay, we have established that I'm insecure. I said that in the OP. I'm trying to figure out how to go about being secure about my height, and so far, everyone has just insulted me for being insecure instead of offering actual advice.

>>17765588
>Okay, we have established that I'm insecure. I said that in the OP. I'm trying to figure out how to go about being secure about my height, and so far, everyone has just insulted me for being insecure instead of offering actual advice.

Because that's the point. Being tall doesn't matter. Short people, fat people, ugly people, poor people, sick people, and bad people find boy/girlfriends.

We can't tell you how to accept your height. You have to realize it's not as big a deal as you think. Currently, you are in a self-fulfilling prophesy: You think being short is your obstacle, you find difficulties and assume they are because you are short, when we all know they have to do with your attitude.

Until that idea really "clicks" in your head, all we can say is: Look around, height is not such a big deal.

>>17765588
Look at all the short guys around you who are getting girls without a problem. Realize it's just you that's the problem.

>>17765588
I met and fucked a girl who had "no men under 6'" written on her bio. I'm 5'6".

>>17765588

"The majority" is a misnomer. Yes, some girls say that. But I bet you're placing all of your self worth on what you see on Tinder or whatever. Yes, you probably don't have it as easy as someone that's 6'2. Tough beans. We all have to struggle, and I bet there's a lot of people who would switch with you.

It's not just your height here - you're concerned about your "baby face," which is literally not a problem, and in 5 years will be fucking awesome as people start to look more worn down and you don't.

The issue here is that there isn't anything any of us can do for you. We're strangers on the Internet. We offered that you wear lifts, and your already do. The next best thing we can tell you is that you're wrong, insecure, and your obsession with your own insecurity is what's keeping you a kissless virgin. We can't hold your hand. Find some things you can do that you can be proud of, get into decent shape, dress well, be a man. That's the best you can do.

>>17765561
When i say own it i mean get over it, in a sense.
Dont go out thinking every girl is looking at you thinking "shortarse" or whatever. Realise you bring something to the table besides height.

If you go in thinking everyone is judging you on your height, theres gonna be an awkward sense of anxiety, paranoia and general awkwardness.

Work out, read, learn about everything, keep yourself clean and dress well. One of my best friends is 20 but he looks like he's 12, and the most attractive girls around are constantly falling for him. How? He does all of those things I just mentioned, and more I'm sure. Unless you have some sort of medical condition, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to "make up" for your short stature by working out. Many gals look for confidence first, so if you are confident in your strength and your intelligence, you will have a better time with ladies. And don't think of this as a type of threshold you need to pass—like being able to lift a certain amount or have x amount of books read by y. Just flow and absorb and become. It may help to keep a journal of your progress. Write in it a few times a week about what you are going through and how you feel and how you can feel better about yourself. Try not to sulk and whine in the journal more than is accurate for your situation. If all else fails, see a therapist to target your lack of confidence. You are young and there is so much to be done. Don't make excuses. Just do it. Lord knows that with my depression I always find a way out of doing things to help myself. Make a schedule and fucking start. NOW.

>>17765601
I stated in the OP that I do a lot of looking around, and have noticed that the male is significantly taller than the female in something like over 90% of the couples that I see. So, it's fair to say that I have looked around, which has led me to surmise that height is a fairly big deal to women, at least.

>>17765623
You're wrong. In most couples men are taller because men are statistically taller. I have dated girls taller than me. They don't care.

>>17765623

Anon beat me to it >>17765625, that's what I was gonna say. I'm the one you replied too.

>>17765625
Why are you so vehement in denying the fact that women have height preference?

>>17765653
Nobody denies that. Just it's very rarely a deal breaker.

>>17765658
>very rarely a deal breaker

t. A guy who's 6'0" and doesn't know what it's like to be short

>>17765653

We are not saying you are wrong about that, we are saying it's not such a big deal as you think. There's a difference.

Knowing girl prefer taller guys, you know you gotta work harder on the rest of your look.

Being obsessed with your height (like you are) you think about dropping your life just because you are short.

Can you see the difference?

>>17765653
>fact

Height is unimportant compared to other factors. Looks, status, money, personality, confidence etc are all far more important.

>>17765660
I'm 5'6". Thanks for playing. Now could you kindly off yourself, I hate having to share this height with a piece of garbage like you.

>>17765665
I've been working hard on my appearance for years, and I haven't gotten a fraction of the action that most tall guys put in with barely any effort. That's why I'm considering dropping out of life, because the game is so heavily rigged against me. Why even bother playing?

>>17765671
You're putting looks in a separate category, as if height is not a part of someone's looks.

>replying to the old /fit/ manlet bait

>>17765676
Why would you hate having to share it? I thought height wasn't something people should be insecure over.

>>17765678
>I've been working hard on my appearance for years, and I haven't gotten a fraction of the action that most tall guys put in with barely any effort.

I'll direct you to:

>Currently, you are in a self-fulfilling prophesy: You think being short is your obstacle, you find difficulties and assume they are because you are short, when we all know they have to do with your attitude.

>>17765682
Okay, so what would you suggest that I do to go about fixing my attitude? I have been told to just "stop thinking about it", but it is nearly impossible.

6'2 here

I stood next to a 6'4 guy in the gym yesterday and felt insecure as fuck

It never ends

>>17765684

>Dont go out thinking every girl is looking at you thinking "shortarse" or whatever. Realise you bring something to the table besides height.

This one isn't a quote form myself, I'm quoting another Anon. I do think they are right. Focus on what's good about you.

>>17765678
Shorter guys are on the average better looking. Tall people have a harder time looking good. Girls will always pick the short good-looking guy over the tall plain guy.

>>17765678
>working hard

This usually translates to "I made a half-assed effort once".

>>17765691
It is so hard to focus on what is good about myself when I know that a good deal of women, not necessarily all bad ones, will completely overlook those qualities because of one that I can't change.

>>17765706
>Shorter guys are on the average better looking.
I have literally never heard anyone say this. Where does this meme come from?

Even if you're 6'0, you'll still want to be 6'4".
Then you'll want to be more handsome. Like Brad Pitt.
Then you'll want to be richer. As rich as Buffet.
And so on.

It never ends. Human greed that is.

Lose your worldly attachment. Seek enlightenment.

>>17765711
The problem is that you apparently have no good qualities. You're just trash in every way possible.

Do something about it. Work on becoming someone you can be proud of.

>>17765711
>will completely overlook those qualities because of one that I can't change.

Hiding those qualities behind self-pity doesn't help either.

All anyone can do is "improve the chances" by playing to their strengths. If you really think tall guys don't have anything to worry about, you are wrong.

Some don't have money, some are geeks, some are ugly, some are unfunny, some are dumb, etc. We all work with some shit against us. You are not the only one.

>>17765711
>when I know that a good deal of women
A good deal of them will be not. What now? You can either make the best out of yourself with what you got and have success or wallow in self pity about things you can't change and ensure that nobody will be interested in you.

>>17765726
I never said that tall men have absolutely nothing to worry about; just that they don't have to put in even a substantial fraction of the effort that I do.

>>17765732
>A good deal of them will be not.
I don't believe that.

>>17765736
You probably came here from /r9k/. It's full of tall kissless virgins. Dwell on that a minute.

>>17765736
>just that they don't have to put in even a substantial fraction of the effort that I do.

That's being a self-centered crybaby. I'm tall but have a fucked up face. Do you really think I have to put a fraction of the effort?

Or maybe I'm tall but I'm a socially awkward wreck. Again, do you really think I don't need to put effort in that case?

Your problem is not worse than the problems of others. You are just too obsessed to see past your own nose.

>>17765741
Again. I never said that tall people can't be repulsive to women; just that they have it easier than me by default. If a tall person has decent facial aesthetics, they can maximize their appearance to a 9 or even 10 out of 10. The most that an extremely photogenic short person can be is a 7/10, maybe.

>>17765745
Wrong. Tall people have a much harder time looking good. You could use your height to your advantage but don't. You're choosing to be a failure.

>>17765756
You've yet to substantiate why tall people have a harder time looking good, or how I can supposedly use my height to my advantage.

>>17765745
>>17765759

Hey, dipshit, what about a tall person that doesn't have "decent facial aesthetics"?

Do they have it easy too?

You seemed to miss the message that literally brought the point up before you did

>>17765744

>>17765759
The most famous male actors and models, known for their looks? They are not 6'4". More like 5'9".

>>17765767
I would argue that a tall person with an ugly face is still more appealing to most women than a short guy with a decent face. I've seen a lot of threads on other forums where women had the "Tall ugly guy/tall plain guy vs short handsome guy" debate, and many of them had a really hard time choosing, but ended up going with the plain or ugly tall guy.

>>17765773
5'9" is like around average, dude. Average is 5'9" and a half.

Anyways, I have a 2 hour lecture, so I will reply to any other comments on this post later.

>>17765775
Post links to those forums. Everyone knows that looks are far more important than height.

>>17765775

You know what? Keep acting like this. Next to you, any man looks more manly, so you are the perfect wingman.

And no, it's not about yout height. It's about the self pity you barf everytime you talk.

Anon was right before. You can't think about good things you have to offer because you have nothing to offer. You are too self absorbed, obsessed and resentful.

Eat shit. We tried to help you.

>>17765775
5'7" is average you retards. Manlet just overinflate the average because they have self-persecutory/victim complexes for their own height. They want a reason to blame for why girls don't pay attention to them.

The truth is, a man excels no matter the situation he's placed in. A woman whines on /adv/ about it.

>>17765512
25,5. And I have been with my bf for 5,5 years

>>17765795
I am not agreeing with OP, but a simple search of "average male height [in any western country]" will give you an estimate of 5'9" to 5'10".

>>17765795
>a man excels no matter the situation he's placed in. A woman whines on /adv/ about it.
That's why most threads are about males bitching over dumb shit?

>>17765437
Tbh whining and crying about it won't make you grow. Just forget about it since there's nothing you can do about it. I'm your height and I give 0 shits what others think.

>>17765544
There's a difference between saying "I'd like it if my girlfriend worked out more" and "I'd prefer it if my girlfriend had a prettier face and lighter skin".

Don't believe me? The next time you're banging someone, tell them about how you'd prefer they had better physical characteristics that they have no control over. Tell me that it wouldn't be a mood killer or morale destroyer for the person you said it to.

>>17766078
>Tell me that it wouldn't be a mood killer or morale destroyer for the person you said it to.
Only if you put it in a very specific insulting/demeaning way and only if their confidence is fragile as fuck at the same time.

>I'd prefer it if my girlfriend had a prettier face and lighter skin".
Change the face comment to something specific like a smaller nose and it's fine.

>>17765437
Yeah being short sucks. People use it against you and insult you with it, women reject you over it. This can be said of a variety of physical characteristics you have no control over.

I'm not gonna bullshit around and say women don't care about it. As a short guy who's been rejected specifically over his height, I know how annoying it is. Especially nowadays, where online dating is one of the biggest way people meet and date others, and yet height is one of the most important things girls factor in when dating online.

I think what helps me and what may help you too, is to separate yourself from your lack of desirability to a lot of women. Except that a lot of them won't find you attractive because of your height, and others would "prefer" that you're taller.

Next, realize that like yourself, none of these people are perfect. To me, this is the biggest thing. A lot of the people who reject you are just as far from perfect as you are, which means they aren't "better than you".

Don't worry about women trading up for a guy who's taller. Concern yourself only with things you can control, which doesn't include peoples' opinion of or attraction toward you. If anything, you should be discerning yourself. Be a little picky about women you meet, and don't just give them a free pass on shit that bothers you. Take them off that pedestal and realize that whether or not she'd "prefer you be taller" is inconsequential because she should be glad you're even dating her in the first place, and if SHE messes up she could lose YOU to someone "better".

>>17766114
The fact is though that there's a thin line between somebody settling and somebody accepting the fact that the person they're with is not the physical ideal that they had in mind.

When you say you wish your boyfriend was taller, in a thread started by a guy who is clearly not secure in his height, how is he supposed to feel? He can't do anything about his height, and it's pretty frustrating to know that the women might end up dating him, but are not completely satisfied with who he is, especially when it comes to things he can't changed.

It's actually not that hard to accept the person you're with for who they are right now, and if some girl told me she wished I was taller, I'd probably be pretty turned off and break up with her. You can chalk it up to being insecure all you want, but I simply don't have time to waste on someone who doesn't think I'm one of the best people they've ever been with, at least to the point that they love me just the way I am.

>>17765437
Have you tried getting someone shorter than you? Judging by your age you are probably at college/uni, and a large amount of college girls, ones that attractive, are as tall/shorter than you

>>17766183
Like half of the girls here are taller than me, man. I don't know why that is. There's no reason for them to be taller than the national average, but they are. Maybe it's because so many of them wear boots? (I live in a rainy place)

>>17766128
Thank you. I think I do have a problem with seeing women's judgment as inherently more valuable than mine. It is hard not to put them on a pedestal when I've never been in a relationship in my whole life. Their affection has become a very coveted thing to me, so I value them and their own judgment over my own.

>>17766172
I've seen this time and time again on threads on /adv/ and /r9k/ where women are just completely oblivious to how their words can harm men. Millennial women don't understand men, and it doesn't seem like they really want to.

>>17766183
Bullshit. Short guys should go for tall girls. That's because tall girls are the least likely to care about a guy's height.

>>17766197
>Thank you. I think I do have a problem with seeing women's judgment as inherently more valuable than mine. It is hard not to put them on a pedestal when I've never been in a relationship in my whole life. Their affection has become a very coveted thing to me, so I value them and their own judgment over my own.

Yeah man, well put. I feel exactly the same every now and again.

It helps to find other things to focus on that aren't women. I realize it'll always be there when you've never had a relationship - I've never been in a serious relationship either, and it bothers me too sometimes. I do photography on the side, which relieves stress and gives me something to be proud of since I can take photographs I like every now and again.

Do you think you're only going for the most attractive women? I'm not assuming you are, but I'm just curious.

>>17766197
>Millennial women don't understand men, and it doesn't seem like they really want to.
Nobody really cares to understand anyone when they're dealing with something they haven't dealt with themselves. The fact that people rail on you for feeling insecure about a physical characteristic that you think is preventing you from dating women (there's mountains of evidence to suggest this, including womens' own "preference" for taller guys) is pretty much a testament to that.

>>17766172
First thing first, I am not the poster. Nor a chick. Nor even tall, if that's relevant. (5'9" manlet overlord)

>not completely satisfied with who he is, especially when it comes to things he can't changed.
Going by her posts, this absolutely didn't seem like the case. It's generally pretty easy to tell if somebody is settling or just pointing out that someone isn't physically perfect (and nobody is, if you tell to your partner that she's absolutely perfect and there is nothing she could improve about her looks, more likely than not, you're lying even if you don't mean to)

>if some girl told me she wished I was taller
How is it different from "I wished you had green eyes" or other small shit. Just because you (or OP) are very conscious about your height, doesn't mean other people consider the comment as strong as you imply it could mean.

>who doesn't think I'm one of the best people they've ever been with, at least to the point that they love me just the way I am
"Could be taller" doesn't imply any of it. Only that somebody wouldn't mind if you were taller and prefer a taller version of YOU (Important part) You're not going to beat an ideal version of somebody because fantasy is always more awesome than reality but you can still be one or even the best person they've been with and love you the way you are. I have no idea how to make it more clear than the eye color example.

>>17766197
>Like half of the girls here are taller than me
So that's another half that isn't. Just stop with this shitty excuse already. Just admit that you want to pity yourself and not actually do something to become boyfriend material.

>>17766233
Almost like other people had to deal with other shit and understand that going on and on and on about something you can't change isn't leading anywhere and only makes you unlikeable and undateable.

>>17766224
No, my only major preference is that they're not too overweight. Sometimes I feel like I'm shooting too high, because a manlet is like the male equivalent of a fat woman. But no, I don't go for only the most attractive ones.

>>17766244
So, you can't even recognize how stressful it is when your dating pool is half the size of the average person's?

>>17766172
I am the poster you're referring to.

>The fact is though that there's a thin line between somebody settling and somebody accepting the fact that the person they're with is not the physical ideal that they had in mind.
It is not a thin line at all. I never felt like I settled for my boyfriend. I think he is amazing and I never met someone as good as him. As I said many times.

>When you say you wish your boyfriend was taller, in a thread started by a guy who is clearly not secure in his height, how is he supposed to feel?
My post was about how little my boyfriend height matters since he is overall an awesome person. I said that, while I can recognise that his height is not ideal to me, I can also get over it because no one is perfect and we both have physical and personality flaws. Recognising someone has a flaw doesn't make them less worthy of love.
I'd lie if I said that if tomorrow morning he woke up 8 inches taller I'd be crying my eyes out. But at the same time I am perfectly happy with him the way he is, as I said many times, and I wouldn't want to date anyone else because no one, to me, will ever be as good as him.
I AM satisfied with who he is. I love who he is. I love him with his flaws and all. He is not only the best person I've been with, but the only person I see my future with.

This doesn't change my preference for taller guys, like he prefers petite girls even if I'm tall-ish with big tits and butt. Are we going to die for this? Not likely.

>>17766287
>your dating pool is half the size of the average person's?

Then you must be doing something very, very wrong. What have you done to yourself to make your dating pool that small?

Grass is always greener, and the reason you're a KHV is not your height , but your attitude and your lack of confidence

source : i'm 6ft3, bearded but a virgin, because I'm bad at social interactions and end up fucking up every chance I get. However, I know what my issue is and I've been working on it every day by forcing my self to step out of my comfort zone and make small talk with people every day

what boggles my mind is that I'm usually a very outgoing and funny person (according to my friends), but as soon as I'm with a girl that interests me sexually or romantically my brain goes blank and I over analyze every thing in my head, which makes me end up not saying anything meaningful. It's annoying because when I'm with girl friends I'm witty, playful and usually find the right things to say rather quickly to make everyone have a giggle

>>17766287
>the average person
Doesn't really exist when it comes to dating. People want specific qualities out of their potential mate and if somebody wants green eyes or big tits or basically anything beyond "be as average as possible" you're not any more disadvantaged than anybody else. (And personality tends to be the most important factor anyway)

Besides again, how is bitching about it helping anybody?

>>17766244
>It's generally pretty easy to tell if somebody is settling or just pointing out that someone isn't physically perfect (and nobody is,
>and nobody is
Then why even bring it up in the first place, if you know that you or they or nobody else is perfect?

>if you tell to your partner that she's absolutely perfect and there is nothing she could improve about her looks, more likely than not, you're lying even if you don't mean to)
I didn't mean looks as a whole, I meant things you can't change. There is absolutely nothing beneficial about wishing for or thinking your partner would be better than they are already if something about them was different that they can't change, and I really do think that kind of ruminating is what causes people to start to become disattisifed with their partners and stray.

>How is it different from "I wished you had green eyes"
Both of them are stupid comments to make. There is pretty much no good way to tell someone you're with that you wish they looked different than they already do, based on something you can't control.

>Just because you (or OP) are very conscious about your height, doesn't mean other people consider the comment as strong as you imply it could mean.
That doesn't invalidate how OP feels. He already knew women don't seem to like short guys and her comment makes it seem like dating a short guy is a compromise that women have to deal with, not something they'll happily accept.

>Going by her posts, this absolutely didn't seem like the case.
She had to go and elaborate on the fact that she loves her boyfriend in spite of her height, because her initial comment about wishing her boyfriend was taller implied otherwise.

>>17766244
>Almost like other people had to deal with other shit
Lol, that's fucking adorable. Really, OP is asking for solid advice on how to not let this get to him and deal with it, and all you have to add is "just deal with it nobody cares".

>>17766296
Thanks for the response.

I still don't understand how you can say you're perfectly happy with somebody and not desire anyone else...and then go on to say he doesn't fit your physical preference and you find other men more physically attractive.

>>17766311
>why even bring it up in the first place
Because mature and honest people tend to talk about stuff and acknowledge reality. Sometimes it's just for the sake of talking. It could be just bantz, I make fun of my girlfriend for being short or a friend for having a fat nose (something I didn't even notice before she pointed it out) It doesn't mean I'd date another girl that's the same just because she's taller or that I am going to look for a friend with a thinner nose bridge.

There is a huge difference between bringing it up and complaining about it. Your point would be perfectly legit if we talk about complaining.

> it seem like dating a short guy is a compromise that women have to deal with, not something they'll happily accept.
But it's not. If she's really compromising, you're a sub-optimal couple. There are enough women who don't give any fucks about it, some with short guy fetish and whatever else. It doesn't even matter since you can't change it. If I want to date a black chick and she's into black guys, that's too fucking bad for me. Happens for everybody at some level. There are many, many options for everybody, more than they could ever date, no matter how tall or short they are.

>because her initial comment about wishing her boyfriend was taller implied otherwise.
Dunno, I got it right away.

>That doesn't invalidate how OP feels.
>OP is asking for solid advice on how to not let this get to him and deal with it
And he got it; it's really a "stop wasting time thinking about this" type of thing with additional emphasis that nobody is perfect and everybody got some shit they are insecure about ... and still manage to get laid, date and get into awesome relationships. If he got such a huge complex, there is always therapy.

>>17766287

If the average person for you is tall, thin, handsome, has money, is popular and socially adept, then you mistaken.

Each one of us have different obstacles that reduce our dating pool. Your problem is not special.

>>17766300
I said that half of the women are taller than me; the majority of women will not date someone shorter than them. e.g. my dating pool is essentially cut in half.

>>17766307
>you're not any more disadvantaged than anybody else
Quit trying to act like women don't statistically have similar preferences when it comes to height. Like, I'm honestly going to stop listening to you if you just outright deny such a basic fact.

>>17766311
>her comment makes it seem like dating a short guy is a compromise that women have to deal with, not something they'll happily accept.
Because that is the reality of women dating men my height, and her comments have only confirmed that, honestly.

>>17766341
>mature and honest people
Mature or not, honest or not, that doesn't explain the contradiction I pointed out in this post >>17766336
She claims to find other men more physically attractive than her boyfriend. THEN she insists that he's great for her and she'd probably never want to be with anybody else.

As a fellow short man, I would rather not end up with a girl who not only finds other men physically attractive, but actually finds them more physically attractive than me. I've dated women who straight up bitched about my height and size while dating them, and I honestly see no point in wasting my time on that shit any further. I'd rather not risk being cheated on or dumped for a taller man either, because given the billions of people alive right now it's a given that there is a man taller than me who is close enough to me in personality, that if it's the one thing you're hung up on I would rather save us both the hassle and let you find your "preferred" male instead of settling on me.

For the record, I don't have any one exacting physical preference for a woman. The only requisite for me is that I find her physically attractive, and there's so many combinations of things that can make a woman beautiful to me that I don't even think to get hung up wondering or wishing what it would be like if one particular girl had a different set of eyes or was a different height or had a larger bust. That's just fucking dumb.

>>17766336
Well, first - I love him. I think he's an amazing person. I'm happy of the life we had this far and the life we're going to have.

He objectively doesn't fit my physical preference when it comes to height. There are a lot of things I find really attractive about him - he has the cutest face I've ever seen and such a fit and nice body, when he smiles I melt inside, his skin looks amazing, his hair is great, and he has the sexiest voice I've ever heard. He even smells so good. There are a few I am not crazy about. His height is one of those I'm not crazy about, like the fact that he's hairy as fuck and he has ugly feet. Happens. There are a lot of guys I know who are taller than him, less hairy than him or have better feet.

Does this mean I would leave my boyfriend and date one of them? No. On the other hand I'm not an hypocrite and I can admit that he's not perfect.

>>17766354
> don't statistically have similar preferences when it comes to height.
They also have tons of other preferences, be it skin or eye color, the content of the his purse and most importantly the motherfucking personality. It might be shocking to hear but dating beyond hook ups isn't purely a numbers game.

Besides again, what's the end goal of your reasoning? "Wah, I have lower chances with women because of my height, so pity and understand me!"
Sure that sucks, but what's your next step? Improving the things you can improve, will raise your chances. Complaining and not doing shit means you have also zero chance.

>>17766354
>the majority of women will not date someone shorter than them. e.g. my dating pool is essentially cut in half.
This is factually wrong. Tall girls have no problem dating shorter guys.

Your dating pool is a tiny fraction of what it could be because you chose to be a whiny desperate faggot.

>>17766374
So, are you also willing to admit that certain preferences are weighted more than others? Height is often a deal-breaker for women, but eye color seldom is. I don't even see the point in making the comparison.

>>17766377
Every study I've seen on the issue shows that over 90% of women would prefer not to date someone shorter than them.

>>17766372
>She claims to find other men more physically attractive than her boyfriend. THEN she insists that he's great for her and she'd probably never want to be with anybody else.
What's so weird about it? My girlfriend is pretty hot too and I wouldn't want to date anybody else but I can recognize that there are tons of beautiful women out there, some even more pretty than her. It's just how it is and doesn't change shit for either of us. I am sure there are many, many more better looking guys than me.

> I would rather not end up with a girl who not only finds other men physically attractive, but actually finds them more physically attractive than me.
It would be the case if you were a 6'4 10/10 guy. In time she'd get used to you, while other and new people can appear more attractive. Let's also not forget celebs. You can be the best guy for her and subjectively the hottest (because you're the best, chemistry and personality are key) but you'll never be the most attractive in the long run even if you were Mr Universe (does it even exist?)

>I've dated women who straight up bitched about my height and size while dating them, and I honestly see no point in wasting my time on that shit
If it was indeed complaining and not just pointing it out, breaking up was obviously the right choice.

>I don't have any one exacting physical preference for a woman.
Guess this makes understanding the other perspective not as simple as it could be.

>>17766383
>certain preferences are weighted more than others?
That's given but physical ones tend to be weighted much lighter unless we talk about extremes like fat (which indicates shit about personality more often than not). Practically it's not that important. Besides I am pretty sure when it comes to statistical preferences, black guys got it harder than white guys, even if they are taller. Does it matter?

>Height is often a deal-breaker for women, but eye color seldom is.
It's more often deal breaker than eye color but again, all depends actually on the person you're interested in and not statistical averages.

>I don't even see the point in making the comparison.
Because shit you can't change isn't worth wasting thoughts on. Would a tall guy with awesome personality have statistically better chances to find somebody who's into him compared to a short guy with awesome personality? Sure. Is it relevant for you or changes your situation? Nope.

>>17766373
Do you ever think he looks at you and thinks about the things he wished were different in your physical appearance? Do think he'd openly talk about to other people the way you are right now? I'm not asking this to be an ass to you or make you feel bad, I just wonder if it occurs to you that you may not be perfect yourself, but in spite of this he may not even care about that and thinks you're a great girl whom he is delighted to be with.

He has a handsome face, he's fit, he has a great smile. He has a nice deep voice. Alright, he sounds like a great guy and I think plenty of women would be lucky to date him. So, why the fixation on height? Why is that so important to you? He's got all these great physical features and personality traits, and it sounds weird that you choose to dwell on the one thing he can't change when he's obviously a great catch. You choose to care so god damned much about his height, just like every single other woman does which is exactly what drove OP to make this thread in the first place.

In any case OP it looks like you got your answer - every single woman who's ever lived cares way too much about height and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it. Even if you end up with a woman who's madly in love with you, she'll always secretly wish you were taller. Better to learn this now, I guess, than never at all.

>>17766383

And gay people have a smaller dating pool than you even before you start applying filters based on looks. So what? They manage.

>>17765710
what even is 'working hard' on your appearance?

I mean, really, what else is there to do besides being clean, having not shit clothes, and working towards getting fitter?

>>17766417
Haircut. Also gesticulation/mimic/stance although related more to psychological stuff and a bit lifting.

>>17766383
>over 90% of women would prefer not to date someone shorter than them

>believing women know what they want in a man

It has been said over and over again. You are an angry whiny desperate faggot. That's why girls don't like you. Plenty of men of your height are out there getting prime quality girls. You don't, because you want to stay in the basement fapping to animu all day long.

>>17766420
so, what, pretending to be something you're not?

what the fuck

>>17766400
Like I've said there's a difference between saying "other women are beautiful" and "there's women more beautiful than the one I'm with right now". Unless you really are separated from your feelings when you think that, and even then I'd be really careful about seriously finding other women more attractive than the one you're with. But then, I don't really 'rank' women that way; if I find someone attractive, I find them attractive for who they are and I don't really stop to compare them to other women on such a 'scale'.

>It would be the case if you were a 6'4 10/10 guy. In time she'd get used to you, while other and new people can appear more attractive.
So you're saying that taller men are objectively better looking than short men and that height is a very important factor in determining physical attractiveness in men. You're saying that a man cannot be a "10/10" in his own right unless he is tall. That's sad, but maybe it's true, and if it is true then you see why OP feels insecure - he feels like no matter what he does he'll never quite be as attractive as other guys. He wants to feel very attractive and sexy to a woman; not like he's not as good as other men. This desire neither extreme, nor is it hard to understand.

>>17766407
>is it relevant to you
It absolutely is fucking relevant to him if his height is actually such a strong factor in his attractiveness that his being short makes him "objectively" less attractive, because this would imply that women are picking other guys over him based on this and if so, how is he to deal with it? Don't just say "by being less insecure", tell him exactly how that's achievable. This is an advice board, after all.

>>17766431
More of getting from where you are to another point. Getting an education or working out on a /fit/ body doesn't mean that you pretend being somebody else.

>>17766409
>Do you ever think he looks at you and thinks about the things he wished were different in your physical appearance?
I'm sure he notices that I'm not a greek goddess. I have a lot of surgery scars on my left leg, my nipples look different and I have some acne scars on my face. I don't think he actively spends time wishing I was different, like I don't.

>Do think he'd openly talk about to other people the way you are right now?
I mean - we're on an anonymous site, I wouldn't know or be bothered.

>you may not be perfect yourself, but in spite of this he may not even care about that and thinks you're a great girl whom he is delighted to be with.
Which is exactly what I feel about this. As I said every fucking post from the first one till now.

>Why the fixation on height? Why is that so important to you?
I am not fixated and it doesn't exactly matter to me, as I stated in the first post. I saw a thread about height. I replied with a post about my boyfriend's height and how little he mattered to me.
If this was a thread about a guy being insecure about having hair on his feet (which, for the record, is gross as fuck and makes you look like a hobbit) I would have commented about it.

>>17766435
>Also gesticulation/mimic/stance although related more to psychological stuff and a bit lifting.

>mimic

>bit lifting

literally pretending to be something you're not

>>17766439

Mimicking social cues, dipshit. Yours must be rusted as heck, improve on them.

>>17766436
It doesn't matter to you, except it does, because you literally stated several times that you would prefer if he was tall.

>>17766435
>I'm sure he notices that I'm not a greek goddess
But does he care? Does it matter to him, even in the little slightest bit? I don't go out looking for women who are "objectively beautiful" myself, therefore I don't get hung up on the size of her chest if pretty much everything about her is amazing. But I'm not your boyfriend so I can't speak for him.

>I am not fixated and it doesn't exactly matter to me, as I stated in the first post.
But saying you prefer men who are taller, that you wished he was taller, doesn't exactly sound like it doesn't matter to you. If it didn't matter, you would've just said that you love your boyfriend and don't give a fuck about his height. Instead you insist you love him even though he's not as physically attractive as you would like him to be.

>>17766459
This was meant for >>17766436

>>17766432
>Unless you really are separated from your feelings when you think that,
Well, that's the crucial part I guess. Attractive would be a qualifier to looks alone, not "I'd want to date them". Some movie start is very likely more attractive than your girlfriend, recognizing it doesn't mean anything more.

> You're saying that a man cannot be a "10/10" in his own right unless he is tall.
Just like with the comment from the chick and her boyfriend, you seem to read too much into it. I picked the combination out of tall AND 10/10 for the most obvious contrast and as "dream scenario for short guys", besides just like being /fit/ and tons of other factors it's generally seen as attractive by most, so close but not quite. Don't think there is much objectivity attractiveness, only things that are GENERALLY perceived as more or less attractive, which is irrelevant on personal level, only the preferences of potential partner matter.

>he feels like no matter what he does he'll never quite be as attractive as other guys
Just like most guys. There are also going to be people who are much smarter, more successful and whatever else too. That's life. People learn to deal with it and be content with what they got.

>this would imply that women are picking other guys over him based on this
That's a very hypothetical scenario and would only matter if there was literally a clone of OP few inches taller.

>tell him exactly how that's achievable.
That was mentioned many times already, by not focusing on something one can't change, and not whining about it. Besides general things related to confidence like personal achievements. Lifting tends to help too. He'd generally need to get of the "it sucks being short" train of thought and jump on the "how do I boost my confidence" one.

>>17766481
>you seem to be reading too much into it
Oh, but I'm not. I'm speaking from my own point of view just like OP did when he read that remark, and for both of us it resonated the wrong way. As I said, men want to feel attractive compared to other men, and I am going to stand firm and never change my opinion on that comment. She said "I wish my boyfriend was taller", short guy read: "great, so even though she's dating this really handsome fit guy, she's still going to wish he was taller". It's not hard to understand.

>just like most guys
But some guys just have occasional pangs of insecurity. Some of my friends are tall and attractive and girls are all over them. They still get insecure, but it doesn't last long because there's always somebody around the corner wanting to jump their bones. This isn't the case for shorter men, even if those men are otherwise pretty 'equal'.

>he'd generally need to get off the 'it sucks being short train of thought"
Which is a nice idea, but bitching at him for merely being upset by it is not as constructive or as helpful as /adv/ seems to think it is.

>>17766458
I think it's the fifth time I say the same thing.
I love him. I think he's really attractive. He's great and his height isn't a problem at all. If it was, I would be dating someone taller - I had the chance.
Does the fact that I love him make me magically change my taste in guys? Not really.
I wish he was a bit taller, yes, but I am perfectly fine with him the way he is. I want *him*, I don't want *a tall guy*. If the two things could be combined it would be badass. It doesn't happen to be so. Sucks.

>>17766459
>But does he care? Does it matter to him, even in the little slightest bit?
Probably, in a way, yes. Not enough for it to be a deal-breaker or to complain about it. Like I don't care about his height enough to dump him over it or complain about it.

>If it didn't matter, you would've just said that you love your boyfriend and don't give a fuck about his height.
Which is what I said in every post. That I love him and I don't care.
I would be hypocrite if I said that in 10 years I never noticed he was short. I would be an hypocrite if I said that I don't generally find taller guys more attractive than shorter guys.
This doesn't change in any way my attraction to him, or how much I love him, or basically anything. It's nothing that can be changed, I like him a lot physically, it's all nice and chill.

You're reading too much into this.

>>17766501
>If the two things could be combined it would be badass
Why the fuck do you keep emphasizing that? You're just proving my point that even if a woman ends up dating me, she'd be so much more satisfied if I was taller. Go fuck yourself and fuck my life

>>17766501
>I love him
>but he's short
>I love him but I find other guys more attractive than he is
>I think other guys are better looking
>but I'm really in love with him an don't want him to change
>He'd be such a great guy if he was taller but he's not, and that kinda sucks
>but I love him lol

Yeah, OK. Sure.

>>17766500

We yelled at him, but we also offered personal experiences that go against his belief to show it can be overcome, we offered other obstacles to show he is not alone and that we all suffer but still keep trying, we told him half the problem is his attitude and that at least he can fix. What else is there to do?

The rest of the work is up to him.

>>17766500
>men want to feel attractive compared to other men
How does "he's attractive and I am into him" affect it? Expecting to be the most attractive guy is just as unrealistic as expecting to be the smartest and most successful one.

>short guy read: "great, so even though she's dating this really handsome fit guy, she's still going to wish he was taller"
And if the guy was taller she'd still wish that he'd be more handsome or fit or have a different eye color or ear lobe size. There is always room for improvement in our ideal fantasy.

>But some guys just have occasional pangs of insecurity.
In case of OP it sounds like the modus operandi.

>They still get insecure, but it doesn't last long because there's always somebody around the corner wanting to jump their bones.
That's mixing up cause and effect. Everyone gets insecurity phases but these guys are generally confident enough to have others jump them and have other attractive qualities. Being tall is usually better than not being tall but still worthless without tons of additional qualities.

> This isn't the case for shorter men, even if those men are otherwise pretty 'equal'.
It's not the case for shorter men who are obsessed by their height. Many of my male friends are noticeable shorter than me and not a single one had any problem getting laid.

>bitching at him for merely being upset by it is not as constructive or as helpful as /adv/ seems to think it is.
Pointing out that the actual issue is B and not A is pretty important when OP goes on and on about issue A. Besides, it's not like the thread got tons of constructive suggestions and even people with personal experience.

>>17766518
>personal experiences
Like that girl who's posting about how hard her life is because she's dating this 8/10 guy that just happens to be short

>we aren't in this alone
"Bro I totally got rejected by a girl in high school so I get how hard it is even though I get laid regularly unlike you foreveralone short guys lol"

>half of it is his attitude
You have no evidence of this at all, and I know from experience that men and women and all of society looks down on short men, so developing a complex about it is hardly unexpected.

>>17766512
just don't date women taller than you and you be fine

>>17766524

Personal experiences like the short guys that still get laid, but why stop cherry picking now?

And of course we ugly fat bastards still get laid some of time. By his own math, there are girls that would fuck him. What turns them off if they are willing to work with his height? Maybe his shit, defeatist personality?

>>17766512
I never said other guys were better looking than him.

>>17766523
>And if the guy was taller she'd still wish that he'd be more handsome or fit or have a different eye color or ear lobe size.

Nobody in their right god damned, motherfucking mind has ever said "geee my partner is really attractive but you know what I'd like more? If they had green eyes instead of brown ones lmao and maybe a different ear shape too". Women almost universally are incredibly biased when it comes to height. The same could be said for men and weight perhaps, but that's not the topic of this thread.

>Expecting to be the most attractive guy is unrealistic
Wanting to feel desired and loved by a woman is not unrealistic or insane by any means. Don't believe me? I fucking DARE you to go tell your boyfriend just how much you wish he was taller and that other guys are better looking than him because they're taller, despite all the effort he's obviously put into his appearance to try and attract you. Especially after being with him for 10 years. Watch his attitude toward you shift, even just slightly. I bet good money that it would.

>It's not the case for shorter men who are obsessed by their height. Many of my male friends are noticeable shorter than me and not a single one had any problem getting laid.
No doubt after they put in a shit ton of effort to 'compensate' for their 'flaw', and even then they'll end up with girls like the one in this thread who think they still aren't good enough even after all that.

>>17766507
Because it is a thread about height. What am I supposed to emphasize? Dick size?

I am going to fuck off, tho - we got to fuck and sleep. Bye, have a nice day.

>>17765437

It's been said a million times at this point, but just stop.

The more you feed in to this bullshit, the more unattractive you become.

I'm 5'7". My girlfriend is 5'9".

I have never had troubles with women because of my height.

Only one girl has EVER mentioned it, and it was on an online dating site as a "Just in case you're one of those guys that are weirded out by a girl being taller " heads up, and then we dated anyway.


Almost all of my friends growing up were in the 6' range, with a couple of them at 6'5+ (One guy is literally 6'7" 370+ pounds.).

No fucks given, I've never cared. It's never become a problem for me, and it's apparent in my attitude.

I've asked, and apparently it's pretty much that same confident attitude that girls find attractive in me.

Get over your complex and build some self-confidence. Do or make something til you can say that you are proud of it and of who you are, and stop giving a fuck what other people think.

>>17766535
You said you find other men more attractive/more ideal.

>>17765437
Lol dude chill, i'm 5'3" and i get more bitches than my tall bros. One tall bro just recently lost his virginity and currently experiencing one-itis to the slut. Its really cringey and a damn waste if you ask me

>>17766541
>"geee my partner is really attractive but you know what I'd like more? If they had green eyes instead of brown ones lmao and maybe a different ear shape too"
It's called preference. Most people got em.

>Women almost universally are incredibly biased when it comes to height.
They are even more biased when it comes to personality.

Besides other physical factors are important too...
http://news.ubc.ca/2011/05/24/happy-guys-finish-last-says-new-study-on-sexual-attractiveness/
HOW DO SMILING PEOPLE EVEN COMPETE WITH BROODING FUCKS.

>Wanting to feel desired and loved by a woman is not unrealistic or insane by any means.
You can get all that without being the most attractive guy. Do you honestly believe that she doesn't think that some movie star or athlete is better looking?

>I fucking DARE you to go tell your boyfriend
Ain't gay yo, and I told my azn gf that she'd be even hotter if she were taller. I am still alive, we're still together (4 years) and nothing fucking changed. She told me my shoulders could be wider and that she wishes I were less hairy, with about the same effects. Should've opened a thread about my pain, eh?

>No doubt after they put in a shit ton of effort to 'compensate' for their 'flaw'
Not anymore than the tall guys, even though the tall guys I know got more attractive faces.

>even then they'll end up with girls like the one in this thread who think they still aren't good enough even after all that.
That's not what she said.

Not gonna bother reading the other replies, but my dad is only 5'5" and he's on his fourth or fifth wife, most of whom where taller than him (mom is 5'9" for example). Of course it will be a deal breaker for some women but not all of them. There's not really any advice to give other than learn to be okay with your height

>>17766606
>they are even more biased when it comes to personality
And when you combine people's pickiness over physical attractiveness and personality traits it an all be pretty damning.

>I told my azn gf that she'd be even hotter if she were taller. I am still alive, we're still together (4 years) and nothing fucking changed. She told me my shoulders could be wider and that she wishes I were less hairy, with about the same effects.
I've never ever seen somebody talk like that to their SO, so that's just weird to me.

Oh, if only it were so simple. Just turn on your confidence switch and go bang some women. It's no that simple. I don't consider myself the most confident man but I also consider myself to be confident enough. The reason I don't pursue women anymore is because I see them all pining after mr. tall and handsome. I simply want to be those things, and I don't see the point in even attempting a relationship with a woman if I'll never be tall enough for any of them.

>>17766552
No, I didn't. Attractiveness isn't just determined by height.
I think my boyfriend is the most attractive because of his looks and his personality, overall.

>>17766633
desu even the stuff i don't like about my so usually grows on me

her saggy tits were p gr8

>>17766633
>And when you combine people's pickiness over physical attractiveness and personality traits it an all be pretty damning.
Given how the stuff is VERY personal, not necessary. Obviously it will be a deal breaker for some but confidence will be a deal breaker for pretty much all.

>I've never ever seen somebody talk like that to their SO, so that's just weird to me.
Confidence yo. We're both cool with who we are and how the other perceives it. Besides it only straightens intimacy. Most of my friends in long term relationships are just as open with their SO, although they try to word it softer. So I guess we're somehow weird but hey, it works.

Last time I heard bullshit like "You're perfect" was in the 9th grade, surprisingly I don't know anybody who is still with their perfect partner from that time.

>Just turn on your confidence switch and go bang some women. It's no that simple.
Nobody said it's simple. It's damn tricky and being short in times where height is rated as attractive traits by most doesn't help; but nobody suggested that it's easy, only that it's a way that works. Complaining doesn't.

>The reason I don't pursue women anymore is because I see them all pining after mr. tall and handsome.
So basically throwing away potential opportunities because you already decided for them. Though only relevant if you want to get laid. If you actually care about a relationship, actually pursuing somebody rarely has positive outcomes. One just needs to be open for the chance of one.

>>17766655
Didn't you leave to fuck him and sleep?

>>17766670
>Nobody suggested that it's easy, only that it works
Well the thing about me is that confidence has never been the deciding factor. I'm not the most confident man, but I can always find the courage to ask them out and say I'm interested so I know for a fact that this is not the issue. I simply have not met a woman that was mutually attracted to me in a very long time. They always simply weren't interested. And some of them have not been interested in me specifically because of my height, which is why I sometimes feel like my height is literally preventing me from getting laid or finding a meaningful relationship.

>>17766670
>So basically throwing away potential opportunities because you already decided for them.
Let's say that I've avoided asking out 200 girls, and out of those 200, 2 of them would have said yes. Is all the bullshit rejection really worth it? Especially when those 2 girls are like all the fucking rest, they just sit and wait for guys to ask them out.

Meanwhile I see women throw themselves at guys they actually like, which hasn't happened to me in ages, so I can only surmise that I haven't met a woman who is actually attracted to me in a very long time. For all the bullshit you hear about women being the passive gender and not wanting to ask guys out, I see them do it all the time. This means that along with my height, something else about me is not attractive, and sometimes I think that if I was taller I could even it out and women would be more interested in me. I can't for the life of me figure out why women don't really like me or find me attractive, so I don't know what to tell you there.

>>17766524
>"Bro I totally got rejected by a girl in high school so I get how hard it is even though I get laid regularly unlike you foreveralone short guys lol"

C-can I join the pity party? I am average height ... but scrawny, sickly pale, thin hairline since I am 14, had terrible stuttering as a kid, weird accent as an immigrant (and the usual stereotypes against me that come with it), was dirt poor the majority of my life (one-sandwich-a-day-poor) and of course anxiety and confidence issues due the stuff above. Almost forgot bullying in HS, changing school often (at least that helped with bullying sometimes) and dysfunctional family life with no role models or support with my problems. Also barely had any friends, so obviously sub par social skills and was often considered the weird kid, too ghetto for the upper class in private school (won scholarship for that) or too "nice" for the ghetto kids.

Then I started bitching about my life and suddenly girls started to jump on my dick.

Wait, not quite. There was something about accepting the things I can't change as ... things that I can't change, improving everything I could improve (even shitty jobs did wonders do my confidence, art was another thing that helped), adapting a more positive (and somewhat apathetic) outlook of life (mostly down to not giving any fucks about (chance of) negative opinions) and going my way out to connect with people, no matter how different they are. Managed to discover a fucking sense of humour on the way too. Bitches love humour.

Still in my early twenties, still not as attractive or confident as I'd like to be, still not many friends and still a poorfag but college chicks dig me now, white collar chicks and blue collar chicks like me even more (also single mothers for some fucked reason) Guess it's my average height! Or maybe the slightly below average dick?

>>17766724
Well I hope I can inspire other people the way you have just now. I'm short, I'm scrawny, I'm dorky, shit hairline, handsome face but that's it. I really would like to just believe in myself, but there's no guarantee that anything will make a woman like me, especially with all the stuff that's *not* going for me. Believe it or not, I have been working on my attitude a lot, I have gotten more social but I can't get over this idea that it feels pointless if a woman never loves me. I realize that sounds pathetic, but that's how I truly feel.

>>17765437
>manlet meme

This didn't really bother me til I noticed that due to gentrification in my city, the average height has increased.

>>17766753
The biggest turning point for me was when I started doing things for myself. Before that I wanted to fit it, wanted to be popular (at very least liked by somebody), obviously impressing girls, being seen as attractive by them and getting laid, but during that I was oblivious to how pathetic it all was, I wouldn't be attracted to a female version of myself, so why would be anybody else. Dropping out of school helped with a mental restart (shit, I am not just not attractive enough, I am also dumber than I think) so it was less of measured acceptance of my flaws but a hard reality check to the face (with suicidal thoughts in between, because what's the point of feeling the the biggest failure if you don't want to off yourself) Now since I was too much of a bitch to actually end it, and since life doesn't suddenly stop once you drop out of school, I had to find a job. A place that would hire somebody like me obviously didn't have the highest standards, so I ended up being surrounded by middle aged people who completely gave up, not feeling any need to impress anybody there (or that somebody like me even could do that) and not wanting to end like them did wonders for my priorities.

I get that "Stop caring about how women see you and focus on yourself and your life" is a lot easier said than done and not something anybody wants to hear, specially at that age, but hey it worked for me and actually lead to women being interested in me (constant compliments still fuck with my head) and guys wanting to hang out all the time (which is a big deal after never being invited for a single b-day through HS time)

>>17766931
When did average height, zombie pale Auschwitz survivor look (large nose for extra Holocaust) with a thin hairline and high voice (unless I try to keep it low) became attractive?

>>17766952
>I'm not attractive, really! Women just like my personality!

Not buying it, sorry.

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>all these replies

We could have ended this thread with "make a lot of money"

>>17766966
M-maybe it's my below average dick? Girls often told me how above 6.5 hurts them.

>>17766987
If she's taking your fucking dick she's already into you.

Some of us don't even make it that far because women just look at us and go "meh, he's not good enough" and don't bother even with a date. I gave up and resigned myself as soon as I realized that was my fate.

>>17766997
That was pretty much how my first 17 years went, with additional snigger over the audacity to ask them. Actually more often than not it was simply acting like I don't exist. Can't say I look much different at 22 sans beard (which I didn't have at 19, when things started to turn around), which apparently pushed my attractiveness rating from "piece of furniture" to "I don't actually have a boyfriend".

Can't it be the change in attitude after all?

>>17767027
For you it's possible, but that doesn't mean it's the solution for everyone. I have a hard enough time meeting women I actually like and have commonalities with, and when I do they either have a boyfriend or straight up aren't interested. I'm not only pursuing hotties or any particular 'type' either. Either my luck has been terrible or I'm just a shitty person.

Anyways, congrats on getting ahead. I'm sincerely glad we're not all lonely losers here.

>>17767046
It's given that there is no ultimate solution for everybody but if somebody as pathetic as me managed it, I'm willing to bet that many somewhat average people who think it's hopeless now will eventually reach a more positive point. Resignation will become just a stepping stone then. Even if we roll with the "ugly duckling theory", if I was oblivious to my magical attraction powers for most of my life, who knows who else is before they realize it?

Besides luck, or rather positive chance is indeed an important factor. If I didn't meet the right people at the right time to boost my confidence when I had doubts about being on the right way, perhaps I'd sink down even deeper.
Though attitude definitely plays a big role too, even if you're an amazing person, with the wrong attitude, nobody will get a glimpse of it or might get totally opposing impression.

What would be the commonalities you look for? If it's something overly rare or specific, the chance to find someone and having that someone available and interested can indeed be frustratingly low, and being together with the wrong person makes one feel just as lonely in the long run.

The one and only advice OP needs:

Stop going on /r9k/.

>>17765437
Focus in what you can improve instead of what you clearly can't.
One of my best friends is a 5/10 32 yo turbomanlet, but is still able to pull a lot of girls, because is funny and confident about himself.

>>17765437
try leg lengthening. i went from 5'6 to 5'10 after a year in Germany..

Here's an idea: OP whines like a woman. Therefore he should become a woman.

>>17765437

Your problem is understandable. I'm 4 inches taller than you but I can sort of sympathize you. It's difficult for shorter men. You have a couple options. Stop giving a fuck. Insecurity won't help you and will be very unattractive to any women. Try to be the best you can be. Work out, get some sort of career. You will probably someday meet a nice girl around your height or a bit shorter or a bit taller. You are right that psychological surveys/experiments have shown that women like taller men.

Your second option is leg lengthening. You could probably get to at least like 5'9-5'10. It costs probably $100,000 and is painful from what I have heard but I'm sure they will give you good meds if you seriously decide to do it.

>>17768338
How much did it cost? And how painful would you say it was on a scale of 1 to 10?

>>17765437
> I could never compete with guys who are 6'2" and actually look their age

I'm 5'5 and have seduced my friend who is 6'2's girlfriend, as well as an acquaintance's girlfriend who is 5'11; my current girlfriend is 5'8. Start working out. Do the things you enjoy doing. Stop giving a shit about your height. Someone will come.

>>17765437
None of that shit matters OP. Stop being a fucking faggot and you'll get whatever you want.

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>>17765437
>I chalk a lot of it up to my height
Prince was 5'2 he had fun with nearly every woman in Hollywood while wearing high heels

Here are far more relevant questions,

How much do you weigh?

Do you know how to small talk with strangers? (If you cant do this step good fucking luck)

Do you go out to parties or events once a month or even four months? (this will help with the above question)

Are you confident and or look good? (obviously not by your beta language and excuses)

I am the same height as you Op and i am 21, i was in a long term relationship of four years, a one night stand and now i am currently dating another girl and have been hit on by girls taller than me. No you cant change your height or the fact that your practically gay asking about this so stop worrying about it, improve other areas of your life go to /fit/ or /fa/ or /lit/.

>>17768468
I take back the first part, you dont need to be able to small talk strangers but at the very least make conversations with acquaintances

>>17765437
I'm 1.6 inches taller than you. And you don't see me bitching about it at all. Now let's imagine i'm going to take this post seriously. You do realize your height isn't the main problem, right? But it's rather your self-security and confidence that are at stake here. If you lets say miraculously got to 175cm, which is still manlet tier but not worth crying over, you'd still find something in you or about you to blame. That's because you simply haven't accepted yourself. In addition, note the following; you'd be surprised how girls aren't all about looks when it comes to picking a guy, unlike us guys where girls looks baffle us quite the amount. You're problem is probably very obvious. You come off as needy and insecure and girls run away. You probably try to hide how affected you are by your height instead of putting it out there and laughing about it.
Honestly man. Accept your height. Turn it into a strength. And don't blame your height for your kisslessness. You're to blame.

>>17768468
I weigh 128-130-ish

I'm okay at small talking with strangers, but it is highly dependent on my anxiety level at any given moment. It's harder for me to talk to female strangers, obviously.

No, I don't go to parties or events very often. I have a group of friends that I hang out with, but we don't party.

I'm not even remotely confident, but I look good. My problem is that I'm fucking babyfaced. If I were 16, I would look good, but I'm almost 21. When you combine my height and babyface, it makes me look like a literal child/teenager. MAYBE I could deal with being short if I looked my fucking age!!

>>17768485
The only reason you are like a literal child is because you fucking act like one.

>>17768494
That, and I literally look like one, and thus, have been treated as such for my whole life.

You're one of those faggots who thinks that the world is just and that no one could possibly be treated like shit for things that are out of their control. I think it would be healthy for you to take a small dose of reality and realize that people are shitty.

>>17768529
Just fuck off back to /r9k/. You don't want advice. You just want to whine like a little girl.

Want to improve yourself? Stop going on /r9k/. Start wanting to improve.

>>17768531
What the fuck are you even doing on /adv/? You've just used this thread as a platform to insult me, and that somehow constitutes as advice in your own twisted, fucked up logic.

Most of the "advice" in this thread can be summed up as something along the lines of "bro you've just gotta be insecure and stop caring." Well, clearly I already acknowledged my height insecurity in the OP. I'm trying to get advice on how to stop being insecure, and just TELLING me to stop isn't actually going to help, you fucking idiots.

>>17768604
not that guy, but you gotta fake it till you make it bro. Either that, or realize that height doesn't really mean much, and who and what you are as a man isn't defined by that kind of stuff. You need to have worth and belief in yourself my man. Don't get caught up over something you can never change. And grow some facial hair and hit the gym, probly

>>17765437
im late, but OP, it is your height and your insecurity about your height isn't going to help.

i'm 5'6" and i've fucked 6 girls, 5 were taller than me (not by much, but still, my point is that it happens)

we're simply going to have a harder time getting laid. that is a fact. that's what it is and no amount of bitching about it is going to change that.

however, you gotta start thinking strategically. you sound like someone who wants love, who wants to be loved and you to love someone. my advice for you is to...start focusing on shorter chicks, or study abroad in a country where the height-average is shorter.

as for your insecurity: stop thinking about it. focus on other shit. read about short men who've done great things in their life and realize it's nothing. some of the coolest dudes i know are my height or shorter, and they honestly got good game and get laid and have relationships.

being short does suck. i ain't gonna front. when i see my 6'2" homie get stares from girls as we walk around, yeah, i get a little jealous. but at the end of the day, what's the big deal? i don't get attention, but so what? i got my own thing going for me, and i think that's what you need. you need a project to distract, good friends to make you feel validated, and something to give you confidence.

cuz, really, if someone hates you for your height, they're shallow as fuck and probably hate themselves and everyone else around them for petty ass reasons.

who gives a fuck what people like that think.

>>17768620
Yeah, I'm not going to a fucking foreign country just so people will accept me and treat me like a normal human being.

>>17768628
>173/4/49
jesus christ get a grip

>>17768604
Why are you here if you don't want advice and reject every fact you are told?

>>17768620
Stop lying. If you have a hard time getting laid, it's not because of your height.

t. also 5'6" but have fucked over 100 girls

>>17765451
>high heels for men
That's not some faggot shit at all, anon.

>>17768637
Hardly anyone has provided me with facts; just unsubstantiated opinions.

>>17768648
If all the real-life examples you've been given about height being irrelevant don't get through to you, nothing will.

>>17768668
Have you heard of "cherrypicking"?

>>17768678
Have you heard of "denial"?

>>17768687
If someone makes a thread about their height insecurity, people with personal experiences that contradict the original post's narrative are going to be more compelled to post in the thread, but that doesn't mean it is reflective of reality.

>>17768692
>facts are not reflective of reality

Wut.

>>17768696
Good God, you are FUCKING retarded.

When someone takes a survey that is meant to be reflective of the general population, they don't announce what the survey is about before people sign up to take it, because people with personal experiences in relation to the survey will be more compelled to take it if they know what it's about beforehand.

That is how you get over-inflated statistics like the 1 in 5 rape statistic on college campuses. The same thing can be said about this thread; if you make a thread that is about height insecurity, people with experiences related to it (especially experiences that will make the OP feel better) are going to be more likely to post in the thread. You cannot objectively form your perceptions of reality on something that is so filtered.

>>17768705
Wait, you're saying as if it were a fact that height is the most important thing in the world and all the contrary posts are exceptions and do not count.

You're the retarded one.

>>17768712
No, I'm saying that making a thread about height insecurity is likely to bring out people who have stories that will make the OP feel better. It's not that hard to fucking comprehend.