How do I get rid of social anxiety? I feel like therapy isn't

depends on how many years of momentum it has behind it. at a certain point you just learn to deal with it

what does social anxiety feel like OP?

>>17761396
not OP, but imagine never being comfortable around anyone, sometimes even your family. someone with severe social anxiety could likely ask you what it's like to be at ease around other humans, with the same lack of shared experience. it's like living in a different world -- you see and perceive the machinations of the world around you but feel like you can never relate or become a part of it.

>>17761384
I've had it for about 9 or so years and I have been trying to get better in the past year. I feel like I haven't been on a track and it's all scrambled about.

It's like >>17761399 is describing but with less intensity, because I'm able to be relaxed sometimes, like when I get introduced in a group, but when I'm on my own it feels like swimming around with sharks.

>>17761399
but why cant you feel at ease around others? is it fear of being judged by them or something like that or is the feeling just "there"?

>>17761408
once upon a time it had a reason, like anything else. now it's just well-trodden neural pathways in my physically fucked up brain.

>>17761408
It's afraid of not being able to share a relationship with others, and it feels like time is wasting away when you try and you don't succeed. Additionally I'm mostly afraid of conversation with other people because I feel like I have nothing valuable to say so I don't really try anymore. It's especially frightening when in big groups there is a lot of people talking.

>>17761418
im sure you know that its not like every person you talk with is constantly evaluating how good your contribution to the conversation is. in fact i wish people would pay attention to what others say so much.
even if they did there is no reason to take their opinion of you over your (much deeper) understanding of your true personality.

im sorry if you heard this a thousand times already, im just trying to understand. even though you realize all this you still feel the anxiety, why?

>>17761437
Sorry, I guess I'm willing to go back and forth because I'm not giving up all the info (kind of a problem I have.)

What I meant is that I feel like I have nothing valuable to say is that I do pay attention to other people conversations, and that's part of the reason I ask for help. I love watching people talk and have fun while talk, and I notice that a lot of them are far more skilled at it then me. (Especially because I keep dropping out.) They all seem to have fun and are able to talk well together, and I would like to be part of societies fun. Part of what I feel is that because they are able to talk better and keep the conversation going is that there is no need for me to say a word. It kind of feels frustrating dropping out from peoples lives.

The reason why I still have anxiety is because I haven't made the switch from observer to participant. It's a very hard switch for someone with social anxiety because it's easy to stick with a role.

>>17761451
thanks for the explanation anon, good stuff. i understand it a little better now.

File: HQA37.png (477KB, 480x650px) Image search: [Google]

477KB, 480x650px

>>17761466
No problem, hopefully I'll be able to get some help in this thread soon but it's starting to look like it'll be only you and me.

>>17761476
well for starters: what can i as a Normie do in conversation if i meet someone who i suspect is "observing"?

do you want me to call you out like "what about you, anon?" or is it enough to be subtle about it like "yeah, like anon said..."? or should i just not say anything?

ps: in case this thread doest take off there is a Therapist Answering Questions thread thats active and from what ive read pretty good quality.

>>17761480
There isn't really a trait that you can pick up, but I would suggest try to strike up a conversation with them a couple of times. I was able to have a great time with my family member because she kept bringing up starter topics and I was able to get the ball rolling from there. If they don't answer with further information then they probably don't want to talk. From what I've seen of my therapist and what has worked so far open-ended questions are pretty great.

Take small steps: Begin with listen to the coversations. If you feel brave try to interact. If you struggle with the interaction. Then just continue to listen until you feel comfortable enough to interact.

Sorry this doesn't help. I'm not really good with advices.

Maybe look at websites to check out the condition.

>>17761378

therapy may be making it worse. its making it out to be a big problem hwen in reality its a 'get over it' situation.