Cheating

>>17761337
Honestly break it off. It would be good for both of you. If you stay with her, I guarentee this won't be the only time she does this

>>17761337
in your position I would end it. She backstabbed you. This is no good and you can't trust her - that's how I would think anyway. Beyond that she probably thought of ending it with you a while back. To her the love between you is dead. Now is the time to show her she's been taking you for granted and let things stay that way.

From personal experience, someone who cheats will always just cheat again. Cut herself out of your life op. Otherwise you'll end up thinking "is she gonna do it again?" almost all the time and be crush 2x as much as last time when it does happen.

>>17761337
It ended when she wanted another man to mount her. If I were you I wouldn't want to mount her again or even see her again.

Dump her.

Watch the film Three colors blue. It will teach you how to deal with loss.

forgive her and dump her but end it all if you can't live without being in a relationship

>>17761337
>Do I end it all anon
She made that decision to break the agreement you had for three years but should you beg her back or try to accept a lame excuse, no.
>Do I forgive her and move on
So far has she even asked for forgiveness? Sounds like to me she met a guy, got a crush and acted on it and didn't want to face you with his dick on her breath and cum in her pussy so she went and hid at a friends. Move the fuck on..
>Do I leave her and never look back
I don't understand why you keep asking the same question only stated differently. It tells me you want reasons to accept what she did and beg her to stay with you if you will. But you should cut her out of your life and start the tough process of working through her betrayal. Unfortunate because you didn't cause it but has to be done and on the other end you hopefully will find a woman that commits and means it.
>How long does it take to get this impending feelings of dread out of my fucking head?
Not gonna lie it takes a long time but the sooner you start the sooner it gets better.

I don't know the etiquette of this board, but I posting my own problem in here too. Sorry if hijacking is frowned upon.

I am on the other side of the spectrum. I try to sum it up as much as I can.

I met my girlfriend online when I was 14. This was 10 years ago. We had a LDR for 7 years. We love eachother deeply and can't life without eachother. We lived 400 miles apart, talked every day, met multiple times a year with money we saved up.
I was living in some kind of forster care. I have no parents and got my first apartment with 15. I was basically online all the time just to chat with her.

Fast forward 7 years.
After some other struggle, we finally managed to move together. We are living in europe, so she switched countries for me!
I am currently working, she is looking for a place in an university. This is a whole other story, but it ultimatively ends up with her being at home, playing video games the whole day and doing the household.
Now for the crucial part:
With me basically working hard and she more or less enjoying life, I grew more and more frustrated, since I also wanted to get into higher education. But someone has to bring in the money. This frustration only grew much, much bigger after realizing that we are in a sexless relationship.
During January 2014 and November 2015, we had sex (this includes hand and blowjob) sub 5 times.
I talked to her multiple times about that. Her responses were always really vague: she is tired, she thinks she is asexual, she thinks she might be depressed and has therefore no sex drive, or she simply finds it disgusting.
I know that she is, let's say a rather prude woman and childish woman. She doesnt look at porn and has no sex toys. On the other hand, she doesnt mind if I do it.

Now, sex is not a deal breaker for me. We have so much in common, we love eachother so much - we just happen to have a mismatched libido.

>>17762580
No, what happened is you guys are now real life and she's depressed she moved to another country and it sucks. Before you guys hate each other send her back home and both of you move on.

>>17761337

id leave her. its the first mistake sure, but its the first of potentially many.

no ones perfect, everyone cheats but she just got a taste of what sexual exploration is. the flood gates are open, and shes going to want to explore more.

let her. its sad and you should be mad, but also a bit understanding, cuz now is your chance to explore too.

>>17762580
as time went on, so grew my frustration. Bluntly said, I really wanted to fuck, but I got no relief for these emotions.
I didn't want to go for ONS or even start an affair. All my love belongs to my girlfriend and she should have it.
At that time, it seemed that visiting a professional would be the best solution.

After many attempts at talking to my gf weren't fruitful, I visited a total of 8 prostitutes during October 2014 - November 2015. Prostitution is legal in my country.

At that time, it felt great. It was purely physical, my desires were met. I didnt particzlarily enjoy the prostitutes themselves. I really just enjoyed the act itself. I pretty much bolted away as soon as I did my deed.

But with each visit, I felt more and more empty. I started to realize that what I do was wrong and stopped.
During these 13 months, I felt no regret. No guilt. I just felt acceptance, that I don't have to annoy my gf with the sex talk anymore. But as time went by, I realized that this wasnt a solution.

I told myself to stop and never do this again. I got myself tested for STIs (everything ok) and told myself to never lose a word to it to anyone.

In January 2016, something finally clicked. I had a brief period of guilt, which I was able to overcome. I talked with my gf about sex again. Told her again how I feel. How much I love her. That I will forever stay by her side, and that i desire physical contact beyond cuddling.

We went to a gynecologist. I was finally able to convince her. Her hormones are fine, she doesnt take the pill either. There is no biological reason why she doesn't want sex. So it must be all in her head. Her own words.

>>17762598
But for some reason, this diagnosis gave her more confidence. Without changing much, she started to take the initiative. We started to have "the sex" again. Even so much as once a week.
As I told before, sex isnt a deal breaker. Important for me is the emotional part in the relationship. So that was more than enough for me. She still sees sex as something abstract, but she wants to do it for me and make me happy.

For a brief moment, we lived the perfect life. Only us two, living a fullfilling relationship.

But in June, it hit me. A huge wave of Guilt I wasnt being able to shake of since.
Guilt of betraying her
Guilt of having to lie to her for the rest of my life about fidelity.

My brain tells me to come clean to her and tell her what I did. This would destroy her life and of course our relationship.

My heart tells me to cover it up. To rationalize my behaviour as "not cheating" and not to bring unnecessary grief into the relationship.

These two aspects are on my mind constantly for the almost past 6 months, fuelling my guilt.

>>17762603
Suddenly, I feel horrible. I was always able to lock these memories somewhere deep down, never to surface again.

You probably think I am a huge scumbag. I agree. It was very selfish of me.
But I really dont know what to do.
There doesnt seem to be a right or wrong.
I obviously dont have a family for support. I lost contacts of my friends too, which I shared stuff on an emotional level.
Turning to an anonymous image board is my only option.

Feel free to ask me questions to judge the situation better. I am writing this on my phone and I hate touchscreens. But please, please dont treat me like a bag of dirt. I am in that mindset because of my constant, spiraling guilt already. Be constructive.

>>17762609
Oh, I've already seen you post this same shit on your own thread several times. Go the fuck away.

>>17762653
This is the first time I ever posted my story.

>>17762663
I saw it last week. The 8 prostitutes gave you away

>>17762692
No sorry, that wasn't me. I don't find that thread in the archives either.

>>17761337
>had a tough year
This is not an excuse for cheating on you!
>she's never known the love of another guy and it eats at her
What?? My bf is also my first. We have been together for 5,5 years. I never knew "the love of another guy" and I really don't want to know it. I am happy to have my bf,and I hope to stay with him forever.
>she went over to her friends for comfort
Are you sure? she went there either to tell what happened and how it was OR she was disappointed because the sex wasn't good.
>I found out when I read her texts
So she wouldn't tell you anything!

In my opinion go away! The first guy who she didn't know well,and showed interest to her,she let him fucked her. She will do it again for sure!

>>17761337
>Do I end it all anon

No, but I would dump her.

>Do I forgive her and move on

Yes, but only after you've dumped her permanently. You can always just be an asshole that is another option. There's a 95% chance she'll make you out as an asshole regardless, ie.
-You drove her to cheating so it's your fault.
-You abused her emotionally.
-You abused her physically.
-You we're controlling.
-You were suffocating, obsessive, creepy, overly-emotional, idiotic.

According to my ex I used to beat her (she lives in her own little world). So I imagine she'd make up plenty other reasons. Then her new admirer will be like 'Oh what an asshole, I'm not an asshole, lets go to dinner, I'll treat you right'

Some vegetable of sorts sent my ex flowers unsigned once a week for 3 weeks and she thought they were from me. She treated me very well because flowers were out of character for me. I'd say they weren't from me and she'd blush as if I was playing some romantic game with her. Her face when the veggy who worked at the local pub told her.

>Do I leave her and never look back

Yes. But you will look back because of social media, so grow up and stop using it. And after a few years when she dates your best friend and his new best friend and his new best friend and leaves a trail of broken friendships as she eventually grows up and desperately looks for someone semi-stable (who has a head like a pumpkin) to treat her like she dreams you would have treated her, (but you wouldn't have because you're not a pumpkin head) to get her pregnant. And eventually they will birth loads of little Cabbage patch kids who grow into little Ralph Wiggums. And behind all the social media you know the car and house is one half a paycheck away from being repossessed.

>How long does it take to get this impending feelings of dread

It never goes, it just becomes less pronounced over time as the reality of the above comment sinks in.

Go be young, date her younger sisters best friend.