Thief thread

Human beings are irrational animals that like to think they're rational. You should buy the book ''How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big'' by Scott Adams, You'll like it.

>>17759792
He also had some book on persuasion.

Anybody read it? Any good or some mediocre compilations of lame shit from other books? Or maybe it's plain bullshit like Split second persuasion?

>>17759778
ye, join the thieves guild in riften. shit goes all the way down to the sewers.

desu dress up as a banker and no security will see it coming.

>>17759778
I just shoplift from Walmart. A lot. Nothing too serious, I just abuse the self check out, sometimes I buy some $3 socks, slide $12 make up items or something like that inside, then cash out quickly. I haven't really made any mistakes, I'm pretty good at it, but it's still not smart.
Once my boyfriend and I got around $85 worth of shit, like pillows, dog food, groceries, vitamins, just stupid shit we could have paid for. I just sort of do it to see if I can, it's not something I'm proud of though.

I catch thieves, can I help?

>>17759896
Sure. How do you catch them specifically and what mistakes do they make that makes it easier for you?

>>17759896
Yes,tell us your experiences

>>17759885
>Once my boyfriend and I got around $85 worth of shit, like pillows, dog food, groceries, vitamins, just stupid shit we could have paid for. I just sort of do it to see if I can, it's not something I'm proud of though
How did you steal these items?

How do I make my house really unattractive for burglars, other then getting a big dog or expensive security equipment?
There's a lot of foot traffic on the street I live on, and I'm out of the house most of the day.
What can I do to the house to make thieves think "not worth my time"?

>>17759922
How did you steal these items?
> $85 worth of shit
Bait and switch presumably.

yes. ive made a killing cracking open storage units in my city and the little towns around it. always use a stolen truck with a tag that has just recently been stolen off a similar truck(very important). ended up doing 32 months for it in the end but i still made a lot of cash

>>17759942
> How do I make my house really unattractive for burglars
Make it look like shit, specifically with the cheap old door that has a 5$ lock as if put there only to tick the box.

This is literally the best thing you can do. Keep your shit and money cleverly hidden and you'll be fine. Not buying tons of electronics help too.

> getting a big dog
I never did this personally but I suspect it's not that hard to drug or poison it or outright kill the fucking thing. Either they are so relaxed they don't give a fuck about anybody or they are always barking and their owners ignores them wishing he didn't buy them in the first place.

> expensive security equipment
If you have some shit worth the trouble (and security equipment strongly suggests that you do), cameras and stuff won't stop anybody who's serious about it. And that doesn't even necessarily mean they would have to be pros. Some junkie who doesn't give a fuck will get in ignoring the cameras and still your shit. Even if he's caught (and trust me, cops ARE NOT on your side when it comes to burglary - otherwise they wouldn't require the lock to be broken for it to be a burglary, cause nobody fucking breaks locks you just pick them in 5 secs) you can say goodby to your shit.

>>17759948
By tag do you mean the number plate?

How did you get caught?

>>17759969
thanks
my house looks like shit now anyway, guess I won't be repainting it.
Hell, I could keep the old windows with peeling paint. For good reason.

>>17759969
>Make it look like shit, specifically with the cheap old door that has a 5$ lock as if put there only to tick the box.
I don't agree. What you describe like,was my aunt's house. When she was at work,thefts got in so easily!

>>17759969

If you encountered a door with a Kwikset faceplate but the lock turned out to be something else, what would you do?

>>17759778
>Any thieves here? Don't matter if you're a burglar, shoplifter, pickpocket or even con-artist who cons people into giving them shit (I know it's not really stealing but still).

Online criminality welcome too?

>>17760081
And how much did they still? Not much at all, I would guess.

>>17760162
Absolutely. I'm planning on learning python to inject shitware in FB and stuff. Wonder if I'd be able to live on this considering my free time only allows me to do it as a hobby.

>>17760176
Alright then

> into computers and programming from a very early age on, which my parents kinda enabled
> Have a very loose sense of justice - my parents are both embassy workers and got diplomatic immunity, so I grew up with them speeding etc.
> sister stole stuff from stores a lot in puberty
> I eventually started to get into online criminality in my early teens
> got caught two times before I was 18 (and stopped being under my parents immunity) which helped me a lot, to learn about how not to be a stupid asshat
> after the equivalent of HS here I got a bachelor in Comp Science as an alibi - though I spend most of my time online
> now hold a bachelors in Computer Science and made roughly 200-300k since I started with all of it

Thinking about stopping it and moving back to the US next year.

>>17760176
>I'm planning on learning python to inject shitware in FB and stuff

People still fucking do that??

>>17760186
So what is it you do, exactly? And how did you get caught?

>>17760302
>So what is it you do, exactly?

I do a wide range of things and have "moved up" quite a bit too.
Nowadays its mainly abusing unsafe online payments via Credit cards and also online banking.

>And how did you get caught?

Didn't take the proper security measurements and frankly most of the time had no clue what I was doing. When I first got into all of it I was on a constant "high" with me getting ridiculous amounts of fun and adrenaline from it, which made me just make lots of mistakes.

>>17760323
> have "moved up" quite a bit too
Does that mean you now have hacker-employees?

>>17760186
Ive read about people like you. Not criminals, but people who dont follow the usual path to success which is study in a top tier university, get 4.0gpa, make connections, climb the corporate ladder.

I feel like you have some advice you can give for what it means to be truly successful and no be part of the rat race and grind. Can you?

>>17760532

Are you 14?

>>17759778
Shoplift alot.

Most effective is to walk into a store and grab a hand basket. One hand holds it to obscure camera and the other tuck it into your waist discretely.

Over $1,000 in quality steaks for me.

>>17759977
yeah i mean number plate, and a friend got hemmed up on another investigation from a different crime and threw me out there to save himself. best to do it alone but its easier to empty a bunch if units when you have a few codefendants helping, just be sure you choose them wisely

>>17760594
No im not you uppity cunt.

>>17760629

A fan of science fiction then?

>>17760642
In otherwords you think what i described is the only way a person could succeed?

Who bumps trains here regularly?

>>17759778
I used to steal stuff from the grocery store I worked at, mostly luxury foods.
I learned that as long as you aren't caught, they don't care about a few missing items. It all goes into shrink at the end of the day.
Management won't look at camera footage unless they have reason to, and -some- cameras are just for show.
The danger of losing your job is still high, so I wouldn't recommend. I mainly did it as an experiment.

I am politician, can I be here?

>>17759778

Scenario
>walking down sidewalk of shop-lined main street
>guy walking near you gets grabbed by the arm
>"IM WITH LOSS PREVENTION"
>fuckin_intoit.jpg
>guy being grabbed obviously stole something
>loss prevention jackwagon turns to you
>"CALL THE POLICE" (x10)
>they're wrestling 5 feet from you
>street is modestly populated, but only the turn-a-blind-eye & walkaway pussy types
>struggle intensifies

What do?

>>17760717
So how is it with cameras?

Do people watch the camera view all the time? Is it just one guy looking at 4 views which after 5 seconds switch to another 4 views?

Is recording saved in some archive? If so, how long is it in there? Is it ever deleted? Can you see faces on cameras?

> The danger of losing your job is still high
You mean if you work there? But if you got a job that's not in the place you're robbing it's gonna be ok?

Do they remember thieves well?

>>17760759
Call the fucking police, what's your problem here? Though the way you described it sounds more like that guy is being robbed by a pickpocket.

>>17760722
So what's you story? How many people did you kill already?

how often are people actually watching security cameras in real time in grocery stores?

i know it varies from place to place but can anyone who has worked at one give some anecdotal evidence or conjecture or anything?

i feel like i've gotten away with stealing stuff like a total retard and not being inconspicuous at all, but one time i got caught stealing from a grocery store because the guy had been looking at the camera. the place was pretty nice so i'm sure this isn't the case with every grocery store but he showed me the camera system in the back and the cameras could even move around and zoom in on people and shit

made me too paranoid to try stealing food again but i'm pretty broke and i feel the temptation whenever i'm shopping for stuff

>>17759942
Not a thief, but the easiest and most cost effective way to make your house unattractive to that scum is to buy an ADT or Brinks sign online. You can probably find one online for $10-30 and it makes it look like you have an expensive security system.

>>17760775
Born into wealthy and influential family, groomed for this thing, I am a mayor of a state capital on a country I am not going to name for obvious reasons.
I didn't get anyone killed yet.

>>17759948
Hope you made enough cash that it was worth giving nearly 3 years of your life up for. That's quite a bit of time in a finite life like a human being has.

>>17760838
What's your ambitions? How did you lose your virginity?

>>17760845
>What's your ambitions?
Another term as mayor, governor after that and then it would depend on how everything works out.

>How did you lose your virginity?
Backseat of my dad's car with a girl I went to highschool with, standard stuff.

>>17760323

Can you tell us more about being a diplomats son? Ill soon be joining the FS but dont really got a clue how my future life will be like.

The first rule of being a diplomat seems to be "you need to be 2 faced and live a 2 faced life" every diplomat I know is loaded but complains about low wages, they dont seem to do really hard work but complain all the time about how difficult their job is, oh yeah and for some reason all their kids seem to love shoplifting as you mentioned.

Also drug abuse and sexual deviancy seem to be rampant in the FS both here and abroad.

are your parents swingers?
did they molest you? or are they the stereotypical "Im so busy all the time Ill just give my kids a lot of money to do what they want"

Sorry if I come off as offensive, not my intention, just trying to figure out how to survive in this world.

>mfw joined the FS with good intentions but it seems like ill do better if I did it for just the money and foreign puss..

>>17760766
>So how is it with cameras?
>Do people watch the camera view all the time? Is it just one guy looking at 4 views which after 5 seconds switch to another 4 views?
Depends on the store. I imagine most stores roll management and security into the same role, however Home Depot has an off-site security team.

Cameras usually revolve between 4 to 8 at a time. People only go into that office (front end) if they need supplies, so they could catch something on the monitors as they pass by.

>Is recording saved in some archive? If so, how long is it in there? Is it ever deleted? Can you see faces on cameras?
Yes, for a long time. But they will never look unless they have reason to. Faces are obscured a bit but build and uniform are easy to spot.
>You mean if you work there? But if you got a job that's not in the place you're robbing it's gonna be ok?
If you work there yes. If you work somewhere else, the chance is lower. Depends on if you get charged with it. Some businesses keep watch to see if any of their employees get a record, and do a new background check if need be.

>Do they remember thieves well?
Hell yes. We had memos in the back office with names, descriptions and pictures of past offenders. Some can still shop there, but they have an extra eye on them. Many are banned from that store, some are banned from all stores. Whether they bother to recognize offenders is another story.

I was never caught, but I tried to be smart. I regularly wore hoodies to work (I handled ice so they let me), and I wore store shirt plus tight undershirt. That combo lets you secure small bags against your chest or back. I recommend chest since you can see if any edges poke against the fabric.

>>17760960
Can they frisk you if they suspect you or saw you stealing?

>>17760984
Store staff cannot, they also can't keep you from leaving. They actively discourage those actions because staff have been stabbed before. If they actually saw you stealing, they won't even tell you. They'll call the cops first so you have no chance.

HOWEVER, if the store is like mine, they may have a private security officer present during certain hours (usually after dinner). Their bosses also stress calm attitudes and non-confrontation, but he also has a maglight, gun, tazer, or pepperspray. Possibly all of the above. They can detain you, frisk you, almost everything a regular cop can. All they need is reasonable suspicion.

>>17761006
Forgot to add, larger stores also make use of plainclothes security. Home Depot used them. I'm not sure if they can actually do anything to you, but they say they can. Could be a bluff.

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>>17759778
>cons people into giving them shit

Oh hush. Also as someone else said, look fancy and proper and most people will follow your lead without question. (We humans and our authority figures)

Grey hairs do help. Though, still young myself but always act like im 50 so eh.

My fav con recently was convincing an older couple to let me store "Products" in one of their children's rooms. Such nice people. Sux for them rly but i needed a place.

Stealing should be punishable by death.

>>17760176
>And how much did they still? Not much at all, I would guess.
I don't get it. You claimed that if you have a shit door with a cheap lock,the thieves will not be attracted. But they went to my aunts house. Anyway,the made a mess in the house,they got her jewels and some money(not much)

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Reminder that Machiavelli would've advised rounding up and breaking the knees of every known thief in the city. And then staging extravagant festivities to help the public forget the recent nastiness.

>>17760759
most LP employees are trained not to engage with a common shoplifter, call the cops on the guy screaming loss prevention.

>>17761186
old fag

bump for interesting stories

>>17761006
So I live in a small town and once I stole some shit in the shop. They stopped me and told me to show my clothes and stuff. They didn't really touch me, but I handed them everything. They talked about police and didn't let me out. Well, I didn't actually really try to get out so I don't know if they could. One guy threatened to beat me up.
Is this all they can do? Beat me up for stealing? What if they "ban" me, but then I come in anyway? Will they call the cops and show them the recordings?

>>17761338
Wholeheartedly agree. However since that will never happen, I'm a proud thief. :)

>>17761202
Dude even the lightning can strike the plain ground sometimes.

I'd guess that somebody saw her with something expensive or suggestive of some sort of wealth. Do I need to explain why it's a bad idea to flash your stuff, especially if it's small town or you're near your home?

>>17759860
Kek'd

>>17762277
It's true about banker clothing though.

>>17760493
Not quite - but even with online criminality theres shit-tier work and something more engaging. Guess thats the easiest way to put it.

>>17760532
I wouldn't really take advice from myself tbqh

Sure I did find a way to make lots of cash - and when I cash out now and find a job with my degree I will be set up for life, but aside from that I'm really just an autistic piece of shit

As for input on what it means to be "successful" its just about finding what you love and to engage that.

>>17760887
I'm not a "diplomats son" - my parents just higher up embassy workers which did grant them immunity (as long as you work for the foreign ministry inside the embassy you get immunity - unless you're the janitor or a translator).

So really growing up was fairly normal. Aside from my parents disregard for the law that is

>>17760600
"These are just birthday presents; you have no right to look in them; we're leaving!"

>>17763612
wut

>>17763480
>>17760323
>>17760186
>>17760162
This smells STRONGLY like bullshit. I've finished my CS degree, play around with computers since I was 10 and I know very well the basics of pretty much everything computer-related there is, plus the couple areas I specialized in. So I do know what I'm talking about.
You never specify what the fuck you do, just throw around vague references of shady activities, say you made money but don't specify how much or where it came from, don't mention anything even remotely tangible related to your 'illegal activities'.

Seriously, I don't get why the fuck some people waste their time misleading others for no reason. Does it make you feel better about yourself, pretending you are someone you are not?
If I'm wrong do correct me and say what you actually do, but I'm calling bullshit.

Not so much a thief as I am a serial vote fraudster. Very easy to do in California since you can vote provisionally under a false identity and there's always a chance it'll get counted if you do your fake address correctly

>>17762216
Was it a small shop? Most large companies don't intervene to avoid lawsuits, but I guess small places won't give a fuck.
If they ban you and you show up, they can actually report you to the police. For loitering or public nuisance or trespassing or something. Private ownership means they can remove you via legal means. They still don't advocate direct intervention because, y'know, stabbings.

>>17763749
What purpose does it serve? Thrill?

>>17763992
political influence, i'd say.