September of last year, a close friend told me he was in love

>>17755893
safest way to remain friends i guess would be to tell him you're gay. Anything else you're going to break his heart regardless.

>>17755893
In this case, the truth would hurt him MUCH more than a white lie. There's a reason most people handle breakups in a "cowardly" way, because there's absolutely nothing constructive about explaining the reasons you don't find him attractive. He'd either get depressed, or try very hard to change himself, when another girl might like him the way he really is.

Just break it off clean, and give a standard bullshit explanation like "I just need time to myself" or "I'm just not ready for something serious" or whatever.

Tell him the truth. You ended up in this situation because you wanted to protect his feelings. Keep doing it and you're only spiraling it down into more lies or misunderstandings that will ultimately hurt him more.

Don't give him some bullshit excuse that will only confuse him and offer no closure, tell him that you don't see him that way, that you're sorry for leading him on and that you want him as a friend but you understand if he wants to keep the distance for some time.

I swear, everyone is so stuck in the bullshit of modern break ups. There's no such thing as a white lie people, just accept that he has faults that you don't like and him knowing that is essential for his growth as a human being. Covering up something as fundamental as heart break with some bullshit about person space is an insult to his person. Just tell him the truth, and that you're a spineless she-maggot for not leading with the truth. If he can't handle it it's not on you, it's on him (well it would be if you didn't bullshit him to this point). Just do the right thing girly, it's better for everyone.

>>17755960
This must be autism. Think this shit through.
>Heeeey, so our entire relationship was a lie. It's not that I lost my attraction for you - I was NEVER attracted to you. I think you're a nice guy, and I really tried to give you a chance, but you make me feel absolutely nothing. I've felt nothing for you this whole time. Any positive memories you have of our relationship are false.
>Hey, great, thanks for being honest! Now I have closure! No woman could ever love me, no matter how hard they try, and I should just castrate myself and give up! I'm SO GLAD you didn't just tell me you needed to "find yourself" or something

>>17755982
right. The better option is to lead him on or tell an obvious lie. You really think people believe the "I just need time for myself" and "I decided it's not the best time for a relationship right now" lines?

I don't know about you, but I'd rather be told the truth than an obvious "white" lie. No matter if it hurts my feelings. I'll get over it. Any well-adjusted adult would.

>>17755982
Or you could admit to starting it because you lied to yourself.

>>17755993
Of course nobody believes it, but there's a certain amount of comfort in the uncertainty. In this case, the truth is that she doesn't have feelings for him and NEVER DID. Why does he need to know that? It's not constructive. It doesn't mean he has to change anything about himself, it just means one particular girl led him on for a while. Why destroy his confidence like that?

>>17755893
Why, why would you say yes? That is so fucked, your lucky if he even talks to you again.

Thanks for the replies, guys.

Okay, I have an idea. Two of our mutual friends have feelings for him, and he isn't aware of this. One of them is completely head over heels and would probably demand a ring on her finger after just a few months. Do you think telling him this after I reveal to him my own feelings will soften the blow?

>>17755893
You've been leading this dude on for an entire year, and you still come here expecting a magic solution that will solve everything, won't hurt his feelings, and (most importantly) lets you off the hook guilt-free.

There is no way to break up without hurting him. None. You suck it up, tell him the truth, and deal with the consequences.

Now fuck off.

>>17756038
No. Don't do that. Just break up. I'm with >>17756005 you shouldn't explain your reasons too much, and you definitely shouldn't try to console him by pushing him into ANOTHER relationship. Just break it off.

>>17756038
This is like shoving the responsibility to someone else. It's way too cruel if you have any respect for your friend, don't do that

>>17756038
Good job holding on to a dude who you're not attracted and haven't been from the start, knowing that one of your friends is interested in him.

You should do some serious self-examination after this. This is not normal behavior. Also, no it won't soften the blow, he's in love with YOU.

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, OP. It's not easy being on either side here.

I just got back home. It's over.

>>17755893
you gave it a shot, that's more than a lot of girls would do. You just need to be honest and tell him it's just not there for you. The longer this goes on, the more you're going to hurt him. He may need space from you after this, and that sucks, but he needs to heal. good luck

>>17755978
>Covering up something as fundamental as heart break with some bullshit about person space
>I don't want to take the cowardly way out and come up with an elaborate white lie
>I don't
might wanna re-read OP's post.