suicidal but can't take a break

Have you tried regular, non-intensive therapy? I've been in your position, and though I'm not a whole lot better now, I credit therapy with possibly saving my life. There are antidepressants that help with anxiety as well, talk to a doctor about it. A GP can prescribe antidepressants or refer you to a psychiatrist.

Does your school have any kind of mental health services? Try and find out, maybe they're free for students. If you've got insurance that covers it, try and get referred to a therapist who specializes in what you're going through.

Therapy helps, anon. I know it's hard to get yourself to go but it's so, so worth it.

>>17755123
I've had a psychiatrist since the start of middle school. I've been on medication since middle school. I've gone through therapy multiple times, for years at a time. None of that is new territory for me.

You're right, though. I should talk to a therapist. I just worry that this time, it won't be enough to get me through three years of intensive school.

OP some people are just to fragile for university

just get a oil field job or something

>>17755466
I can almost promise that if I stop pursuing my goals, that'll push me over the edge for sure. It's the only reason why I'm still alive, honestly.

>>17755477

what are your goals in life exactly? I mean how do you imagine yourself in 20 years?

>>17755489
20 years? I'll be an established screenwriter for TV, likely in LA unless "TV" means Netflix-type shows, in which case I'll be wherever I need to be. Maybe even have successfully pitched a show of my own by then. Certainly I'll be trying.

I want to tell stories. That's what brings me happiness.

I dropped out and lost everything you speak of, moved, everything got 10 times worse, got the hell away from that place but fought with suicidal urges and panic attacks and rage for months.

So I finally got a job starting in a couple of days and pretty optimistic. Saving up to go to Uni again. My family won't like it so this path won't be without resistance but this is what keeps me going so shit looks like there's no other way.

No advice here (except maybe deep breathing exercises. helped me out quite a bit) but hang in there and we are gonna make it

Slightly related, but I didn't want to make a separate thread.
When is it 'acceptable' or advised to see a psychiatrist? I've been having some 'moodswings' lately, where I've went from feeling on top of the world to feeling worthless and lacking all self-esteem. Also, if I decide to go, how do I hide/justify it to my family and gf?
Any tips/experiences?

>>17755500

Buddy you need a fucking reality check, if you cannot stand a fucking college how the fuck would you be able to work in the mother fucking show biz

anyway you can already send your crap to some short stories magazine and see what happen

>>17755513
Yes, I'm well-aware of that fact. Hence the whole, feeling suicidal aspect.

>>17755510
bump

>>17755085

most people just power through. thats what powering through is, there is no secondary definition that explains how, its sheer willpower.

that being said if you cant your options are this
>die
>lose your scholarships

the fact that you dont view it this way tells me you probably aren't suicidal. if you were you'd realize you HAVE to stop or you'd die.

you've created a logical flaw in your life. if you were suicidal you wouldn't worry about losing scholarship... cuz you'd lose em if you were dead.

>>17755510
anyone?