Any advice for improving self-esteem? Trying to better myself,

Well, I used to have really bad self esteem. Slightly better now and I feel like I'm making progress.

I try to look at myself in different ways. Found things about me and talents I had and morals i carry that put me better than the scummy people I see as worth less as a person than me. And then I try to build on those and present the bits of me I got pride in as the "me" people see.

I hope that made sense, its all about changing not just what you think, but how you think.

>>17754497
I only have a quick thing to add here. One thing I realized is that people don't care about you. That might sound bad, but hear me out. People aren't thinking about you as much as you might think they are, or at all really. I realized I never think about other people poorly, even if they drop something or do something stupid. So, logically, I realized other people don't think of me poorly either. Maybe I'm deluded or simply too nice of a person to think poorly of others. But I guess that's all I have to say.

I guess also, I stopped thinking about it as much. Much easier said than done, but clearing my mind of it helped me.

You have to want to not care about what people think. For me I developed that through horrible facial acne. It was pretty bad and I was self conscious. it did clear up though, but now I couldn't care less about what people think. You can only make yourself feel like shit. You can also take refuge in the idea that most others who make up the common masses are quite simple minded scum.


Oh also, if you're not already, start working out. Helped me alot after I got less ugly.

>>17754505
>>17754530

Solid advice, thanks anon

>>17754560
Thanks, I already tried getting /fit/ actually, it helped a lot but now my issue isn't about appearance so much as what people think of my character. It's harder to make character gains than physical gains it seems

>>17754567
If you tell a lie enough times it can become truth.

>>17754497
Enjoy doing constructive things that better yourself or further you life. Do power posing. If all else fails, find someone to hate, and any problems you have you can just take out on someone else.

>>17754574
>>17754584

Again good advice, thanks

Some CBT therapy might help if you have insurance. Online therapy is a thing now too, much cheaper and less demanding.

>>17754665

Will look into it, I do CBT for social anxiety and it pretty much fixed it as far as I feel. Any good sites for improving self-image?

>>17754497

self esteem is basically confidence: its the belief that something is as you think it is, positively.

so all you need to do is acknowledge what is good.

you dont need to believe that yo uare some master of socializing, but rather realize that socialization isnt a big deal at all, theres no consequences to a messed up social interaction

>>17754497

>going to group therapy for social anxiety

Lel

You do not have social anxiety if you are actually going to a group of people.
Nor do you have poor self esteem.
What you have is the need to label yourself in some way so you can get attention for it.

>>17755808

You do know group therapy is pretty common for social anxiety right? The whole point is your exposed to people at a level that's comfortable to the person so they can improve gradually.

>>17755814

I also know that people who have legitimate social anxiety do not attend such groups.

>>17755822
How do you define legitimate, the disorder is clinical and can vary between people

>>17755827

>How do you define legitimate

Real, true, genuine, authentic.
Pick one of these.

> the disorder is clinical and can vary between people

And as long as all labelled by it, however they vary in degrees of it, avoid group therapy they have it legitimately.
Otherwise they have something else which makes them come to those meetings and do not genuinely have social anxiety.

>>17755808
You cannot know that every single person with social anxiety fits into your small perception of what that actually is. You are not exhibiting objective thought. You are stuck in a small bubble of what you perceive as reality.

You say that you know people who have legitimate social anxiety and that they do not attend such groups. Your logic dictates that, because you know an extremely small subset of people with this disorder, you know how all people with this disorder behave, function, and feel. So, I know a few people who have been through depression, yet none have experienced suicidal thoughts. Using your logic, I can come to the conclusion that anyone who is 'suicidal' is lying and just looking for attention. This is incorrect. Your logic is flawed.

You cannot know how people feel over the internet in this context. You cannot come to the conclusions you've stated through objective logic and reason. You've arbitrarily chosen something to focus on in order to be argumentative. You're not helping anyone with your contribution to this discussion.

You are simply a troll.

Don't listen to this thing OP. It isn't human.

>>17755822
just because they're afraid of social situations doesn't mean they're unable to force themselves into them you dink. they're confronting their fear by going to these groups in order to overcome it. you're either referring to the EXTREME side of the spectrum (the kind that are well past having a simple disorder) or you're literally a vegetable. fuck off you cabbage.

>>17755840
That still doesn't really answer my question, how does someone looking to better themselves by a proven means of therapy not make their disorder legitimate?

Also OP for self image exercise works well, what helps me most is trying not to always be so internal. By that I mean when someone makes you feel self conscious, try your best to step back and think if its more the external factors. I think you'll find that more often than not it's external things with fairly minor internal stuff.

>>17755748
>I do CBT for social anxiety and it pretty much fixed it as far as I feel.
Any good online resources, or do I have to find a therapist to run through it with me?

>>17754497
What I did is I figured if I can't have high self-esteem at least I can outsmart this deep seated low self-esteem through repeatedly reasoning against it. Should be an easy battle given that it's mostly irrational beliefs about other people knowing me better than myself which is an idiotic premise right?

So I started talking with myself before and after talking to others. I see a bad feel come up. I ask this irrational, emotional part of me that's suffering from lack of confidence what the heck it's doing. It gives me some feminine passive aggressive answer, Doesn't matter, keep pushing. Swallow the red pill, brain.

File: 1478929800167.png (139KB, 629x1173px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 629x1173px

Just be yourself senpai

>>17756118
I don't know if he has any intention of answering you.

>>17756157
From personal experience, I find that rationalizing things works against me. It goes both ways.

Try taking a minute out of your day every now and then to stop, take a deep breath, and try and feel for what your emotional state is at that point. If it feels like nothing, that's fine, but it's no reason not to try again an hour or two later. If you've got some bad shit going on in your head and you do this, you might find that you're feeling worse than usual and haven't noticed.

Guys who spend time trying to rationalize shit all the time don't always pick up on those feelings, but they can really paint your thoughts. If you notice this, consider if you should be thinking or reflecting at all, or if you should just focus on something else until you have a clearer head.

On that note, look into stoicism if you haven't. Sometimes you're gonna be the only guy you can lean on for a while. It won't help you for when you're literally impaired by your mental illness, but it does help when you have the strength to make a difference.

>>17756136
Personally I don't know any, but I haven't looked. Most of the documents I get are directly from my therapist, plus we go over them so it might be better to cooperate with them.

>>17756065

>You cannot know that every single person with social anxiety fits into your small perception of what that actually is.

We could apply the same argument to your perception of social anxiety.
Hypocrite.

>You are not exhibiting objective thought

Define objective thought.

>You are stuck in a small bubble of what you perceive as reality.

So are you.

>Your logic dictates that,

My logic does not speak.
It is not a being capable of communication like humans.
You are literally using the words wrong.
And no this is not an argument about semantics.
It is about using the proper words, not their meaning.

>because you know an extremely small subset

Presumption.

>of people with this disorder, you know how all people with this disorder behave, function, and feel.

Another presumption.

>Using your logic

Logic is not relative to persons.
It is universal.
Again you have no idea how the words you are using work.

>Your logic is flawed

Look at the above.
Arguments can be flawed, logic is not.

>You cannot know how people feel over the internet in this context

And what can you know?

>You've arbitrarily chosen something to focus on in order to be argumentative.

What a hilarious projection that sentence is.
The gist of your whole post can literally be summarized in that one sentence.

>You're not helping anyone with your contribution to this discussion.

And youve come to that conclusion, how exactly?

>You are simply a troll.

Notice how your hollow appeals to logic objectivity and reason quickly degrade into name calling.
How cute.

>>17756118

>That still doesn't really answer my question

Post a link to your original question and post the question of it in greentext.

Because this question:
>How do you define legitimate, the disorder is clinical and can vary between people
Was very well answered in the next post.
>>17755840

You made up a completely different question now and are passing it off as the old question.
You are fooling yourself.

>>17756347
>>>You are not exhibiting objective thought
>
>Define objective thought.

no u

>>17756347
Hm. I don't mean to bring this up because of memes, but are you autistic? You have ignored the intent and meaning of the post in order to attack the person's use of words. You even ask that anon to define objective thought. Is that a rhetorical or sarcastic question?

You're complaining that he used words wrong, where any normal person would understand what they meant. Unless they were autistic. Again, not name calling. I am autistic, and I'd respond the same way you did if this were 5 years ago. But I've improved my ability to understand how normal people communicate. It appears you're exhibiting the exact same inability of understanding that I used to have.

He's right about you not helping. You might not realize that though. You appear to value strict definition of words and appear to be unable to understand the intent and meaning behind those words. Again, that's a sign of autism. Being unable to inherently understand a person's meaning through normal communication if they've used words the wrong way. Your complains are, to me, the equivalent to complaining about someone screwing up 'their' and 'there'. You should know what they mean. But if you're autistic, you need to consciously analyze and mentally correct their sentences before you can respond properly. I know I do.

Also, saying that you're a troll isn't name calling. Saying you're a cuntwagon nigger is name calling.

If you're still reading this, can you provide sources for:
>Arguments can be flawed, logic is not.
and other such word use corrections?
Because I've literally never heard this in my entire life. The way you're explaining how these words work goes against everything I've been taught. I'm non-sarcastically quite interested in the way you think and I want to see if you can provide me reading material to better understand your point of view in general.

>>17756629
None of that is actual autism the neurodevelopmental disorder, it's just called being retarded.

As a rule of thumb if the bizarre behavior can easily be explained by base stupidity rather than a disorder, it's probably due to the former.

>>17756643
>implying autism and retardation isn't the same

>>17756643
What bizarre behavior are you referring to? Are you the same anon that's made the replies here or a new one?

>>17756650
Retardation is a feature of autism. But not all autists are retards. It's like psychiatry. All psychiatrists can practice psychology but not all psychologists can practice psychiatry, because you need medical school to become a psychiatrist.

>>17756658
so like all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs? neat.

>>17756347
this is the longest post i've seen here. either u mad emotionally or u mad mentally family

I feel the presence of a fearful childish ego inside of me. I am constantly bargaining and trying to negotiate a bribe to keep it satisfied. If I work a full day, I have to get junk food. If I go outside, I have to lock myself into my room for hours when I'm home

I am enslaved right now. I don't even know what this childish ego is afraid of. I think I need a tragedy, a BIG HIT, to seriously unfuck my shit. To become a man. Any insight on how to access maturity would be awesome

>>17756752
I'll need a few bits of information. Are you living alone or with someone/family? From your post I take it you have a job - is it blue or white collar? And what do you do for recreational enjoyment, if anything?

>>17756766

I live with my parents. I work part time as an english teacher for kids, teens and adults. I make about 500euro / month. I don't really do anything for enjoyment, just watch netflix and play mobas.

My creative juices are at all time low. I live to constantly appease the childish raging ego inside of me with junk food, videogames and alone time after work.

>>17756783
It sounds like we have somewhat similar situations, but perhaps I'm a bit further ahead on this road. I recently got a new full time job and moved out and I've felt that my desire/need for what you've described (childish ego) is slightly fading over time.

The bad part is that I don't enjoy video games anymore, and that's pretty much all I ever did with my free time. I don't know what to do in my free time anymore. But I've also stopped eating shit and am now going to the gym. I don't know if that's any help, but that's what my experience has been so far.

>>17756807

That is extremely helpful. Just contacting anyone in a similar position feels awesome, and I think I understand your situation.

Your current spot is my future vision, but I don't know if I can take this. I need to make more money if I desire to provide for myself. I wonder if living alone impacts the childish raging ego. I feel like someone needs to discipline my stupid ass before I grow up and turn into an unresolved fat mess.

Your input is much appreciated. I think I will follow your route and move out. But before, I need something. I need to recieve pain, discipline. I think I'm gonna go straight into a martial arts class. I don't even care about the body at this point. Just unfuck my mental shit, senpai.

>>17756807

I can also feel the "no longer enjoying videogames" trait. I recently purchased dark souls 3 DLC and I don't even feel like continuing it. Nowadays I just occasionally play some NFS underground 2, silent hill 2... old games, and I don't even complete them.

I still like videogames. But this demon is seriously taking all of my vital energy, my passion, my ability to get excited for things. I blamed it on the masturbation once, now I know, it doesn't even matter if I fap or not. It's always there

>>17756862
I have also been thinking about martial arts actually. I agree, talking to someone on the same wavelength is pretty awesome.

I actually went and got my testosterone checked recently due to feeling this way for about 5 years now. Should have checked it sooner, because I have the average level of an 80 year old. Not saying that's what your problem is but I just started testosterone gel and I'm hoping that'll give me my drive back.

>>17756347
dis nigga never came back. he was a troll u was right anon

>>17756347
Why the fuck you care so much to somehow prove that people who goto group therapy can't have social anxiety, christ you petty nigga