Hiding your political opinions

I'll talk about them when it gets brought up. That's about it really. Everyone stopped talking to me for completely different reasons.

>>17753446

i am not really big on politics. I have my opinions, but I don't usually discuss them. when I do and people disagree i end it with a 'i disagree, but i don't think you're 'wrong' either.'.

then i let them get a last word in. then i bring up something shallow like a movie or tv show or whatever.

closest I've had to an arguement was my roomamte
>did you vote
>me: no
>why not
>me: i dont agree with any of the candidates
>but its your civic duty
>me: its my civic duty to choose someone even when i don't like either candidate? doesn't not voting say more?
>no! you have to vote
>me: but what if im not educated enough on the majority of issues or don't think its my place to dictate how others choose on certain major issues
>its our job, its the reason we have a deomcracy.

lold all the way back to the couch.

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I was talking with a girl and she suddenly stopped all communication. My gut feeling is that she saw my FB profile and the type of things I think.

So I'm conflicted: do your political beliefs define you? Because in all honesty you could meet me and never guess how I think, and I believe that's how it is for most people. Some of my best friends are polar opposites of me politically yet all it ever does is fuel interesting conversations.

This has made me think maybe I should keep my political views to myself? Yet at the same time I think not only is that cowardly, but it also just sets you up for complications further down the line - surely the best policy is to be open and honest?

>>17753446
>How open are you about your political beliefs?
Pretty open. When there is a conversation about politics I tend to join in, unless it's too retarded to bother. I never really start it with people I don't know, because that's just obnoxious, and don't really talk about it with people who have identical views because that's fucking boring.

>Has it ever cost you a relationship whether it be friend, partner or family?
Not really. My friends or partners tend to either have similar views or are at least reasonable enough to accept that we don't agree. The latter being most fun of course. When it comes to acquaintances or co workers politics is simply a topic like football. We may disagree on something but in the end nobody gives too many fucks.

As for family ... I try to switch the topic now. Discussing politics with uninformed people who have strong opinions but don't care about facts is tiresome.

>>17753507
>do your political beliefs define you?
Rather the other way around but unless you hold some very strong views and push them on others, it rarely plays a big role (assuming the other person is the same.)

So basically if the chick was a KKK member and you talk about the greatness of black panthers in your profile, she'll be turned off. If you half heartedly voted for Hillary because she's less crazy and she half heartedly voted for Trump because she wanted to send a "fuck you" to the system, it should be fine.

>Yet at the same time I think not only is that cowardly, but it also just sets you up for complications further down the line - surely the best policy is to be open and honest?
Pretty much.

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>>17753522
>Rather the other way around but unless you hold some very strong views and push them on others

She said she'd spent the last few months getting over Brexit; my page is full of why I voted for it.

The thing is though I had no issues at all that she voted remain and likes the EU. Not a single one. Even though I am VEHEMENTLY against the EU as an institution: way more against it than she could possibly be for it. As wrong as I think she is, I acknowledge it's an open debate and I know her opinion doesn't make her a bad person or even begin to define her. So why am I not afforded that same human decency? Especially when I could just lie about my beliefs and she'd be none the wiser? Ah well.

>>17753548
Well considering you just said your emotions for your vote were a lot stronger and validated than hers could ever be. You're giving an explanation for your decision but aren't giving her the same leeway you're giving yourself.

If you think your subjective opinions and emotions are always more validated and more important then how can you expect people to give you any of these things you deny them?

Respect and friendship is a two way street and maybe she really is hit by it and couldn't deal with seeing your feed anymore. Is it really that unthinkable? I mean you're completely dismissing her emotions and care for something then why even bother trying to be friends with someone if it's a situation like that?

>>17753548
>So why am I not afforded that same human decency?
I don't think "decency" is the right word. Each of us simply puts different weight to certain opposing viewpoints and specially when it comes to a potential partner, it can be very hard to overlook them, especially at start. You might be okay with somebody who is strongly pro EU while it can be a total deal breaker for someone else, because they really, REALLY dislike this view point.

Basically she might be less pro EU than you're against it but more anti Brexit than you are anti EU. Which is just how it is and doesn't make either of you wrong.

> Especially when I could just lie about my beliefs and she'd be none the wiser?
That'd only work at start either way, if being pro EU/anti Brexit was an important point for her, you two wouldn't work out either way, so it's better to know sooner and waste less time, for both.

>>17753593
You'd be correct if I'd portrayed myself like this in any conversation. But I didn't. In fact, everything you've said is only applicable to her as she's the one who thinks her opinions are so valid that the other person isn't worth talking to anymore. I've been as tolerant as it gets, yo.

>As wrong as I think she is, I acknowledge it's an open debate and I know her opinion doesn't make her a bad person or even begin to define her

>>17753640
>her opinion doesn't make her a bad person or even begin to define her
While our political opinions don't tend to make us a good/bad person (unless it's something extreme) they do define us.

For example, there is no way I could be with somebody who is anti migrant, they might be not a bad person but our views on people and helping them would just differ too much and affect our decision making and thinking in other aspects too.

>>17753640
I'm not talking about a debate but about feelings, you're even doing it again justifying yourself while dismissing her.

She felt she couldn't be friends with you anymore because of your Facebook feed, you said it was unreasonable because she can't possibly feel that way and you would have more of a ''right'' to feel this way than she did anyways.
Are you trolling me or do you really not realise that what you are doing is wrong?

You don't have to agree with her or be nice to her but at least give her the right to feel a certain way, feelings don't have to be measured they are subjective and if you feel like a person's scale is unreasonable to be dealt with in a friendship setting you are well within your rights to drop that friend but if you want to be someone's friend you need to be able to at least accept someone's boandaries and care about them no matter how ridiculous what they are doing may seem.

Some of my friends don't like household spiders, they aren't toxic and don't do any harm but they are scared. I don't try to argue them out of it I just accept it and that's that.

People are more complex than these measurements you're trying to do as well, completely ignoring how you're constantly giving them no right to their emotions and explanations while you can keep yours.
I'm going to give up though because I think you're a troll good luck with whatever you're trying to get out of this.

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>>17753604
This is a good reply man, thanks. It's funny that it's such a dealbreaker for her though. I care a lot more about politics yet the person with more of a passing interest is the one who acts more partizan...interesting.

>so it's better to know sooner and waste less time, for both.
I'd rather a give a person a chance than just assume the worst of them by their voting history. I mean, you're not wrong, which is why ultimately this year I decided to make the choice to be more open about my political views. Yet at the same time I can't help but think if she knew me before my politics she'd be a lot more forgiving, as all my friends have been. Ah well, you live and learn.

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>>17753677
I'm really not following you man, I think you've not really got me at all.

I'm saying it's unreasonable to cut someone out based solely on their opinion, and that I personally wouldn't do such a thing, even if I do think I'm right.

>at least give her the right to feel a certain way,
Dude, what? I did. I never said a single thing to her that would imply otherwise. She's the one who cut me because she doesn't like how I think, lel. As I said, I was more than fine with her having that opinion. You need to brush up on your comprehension because your replies imply you've took nothing I say on board.

>>17753683
>I care a lot more about politics yet the person with more of a passing interest is the one who acts more partizan...interesting.
It's not that simple as caring more about politics, another anon supped up the whole feelz shit pretty well.

Besides, most people don't give a fuck about politics sans the big elections yet have very strong feelings about certain viewpoints, and specially negative ones tend to carry more weight.

>Yet at the same time I can't help but think if she knew me before my politics she'd be a lot more forgiving
Very likely but the end result would be still the same in most cases when it comes to dating (I assume that what it's about since you specified that it's a girl). Although if she knew you better, she'd probably wouldn't cut communication.

Also I don't think it's as much assuming the worst as basically viewing it as a big negative and not be willing to deal with it. (The differentiation is important) Say you'd seeing her in a bukkake video, or something else you'd consider would make you incompatible. There is much, much more to a person, the bukkake girl might be your soulmate in all other things but starting of the wrong foot would make anybody consider whether it's worth even making the next step.

>>17753710
His main point (I think) is that you assume that you feel stronger about your position than she does about her. Which you shouldn't.

>>17753507
Be real, do you see yourself marrying a girl who's a libfag? It wouldn't have worked; being friends and having convos is one thing but deciding how to raise your children (or whether to even have them) is another. She was right to cut contact

This election really blew me away. I've been raised in a very progressive community and live in SoCal. I thought only the racist south thought could support Trump... I voted for Sanders in the primaries, then Clinton in the general election. My school was a very liberal environment and I thought that was the norm. One classmate of ours came forward that she was a Trump supporter and got a lot of backlash. Mind you, it wasn't mean spirited or anything. A lot of women asking her for logical explanations on how she can support a candidate that has sexually assaulted and is openly misogynistic, etc. She didn't really have smart things to say besides "I can support whoever I want without being bullied!"

I'm very open about my beliefs and I will tell you them, but I will never shove it down your throat. To be fair, I'm rarely around people that don't share my beliefs. Not because I choose to, but I just live in a very liberal city.

My boyfriend and I have COMPLETE opposing views. We're still trying to figure out how to make it work because we do get into arguments and bickering. But we still love each other nonetheless.

>>17753730
I appreciate your posts anon, you frame it well.

>Although if she knew you better, she'd probably wouldn't cut communication.
I just can't get past this, kind of hurts to be honest. I've made my bed so I might as well lie in it, after all these are my fundamental beliefs and I'd want a partner to at least be accepting of these things, which is why I stopped hiding my opinions in the first place. I suppose I'll have to prefer being hated for who I am than liked for who I'm not.

>>17753748
Guess so my man. It just got to me. To think someone would axe me for a few facebook posts, it just doesn't sit right. Especially considering how much we were getting on up until that point.

>>17753765
Interesting. I've never been with a girl who's at odds with me politically (all be apolitical types) so this whole thing is becoming a clusterfuck for me. I'm glad that you're able to put your partners opinions to the side and respect him for who he is.

>>17753798
This is also my first being with someone with opposing views... and trust me, in the beginning I had to rethink our entire relationship. Do I want to be with someone who supports a candidate that I despise? Doesn't this means our entire set of values and morals are different? He's also on 4chan and hates "feminists" and "libtards" but hey, *technically* I am a feminist liberal so what does this mean? Etc.

I'm still coming to terms with it. I'm actually glad the elections are over because now we don't have to argue about Trump vs Clinton. He didn't rub it in when Trump got elected, he made me breakfast in bed instead. We're trying to seek a balance.

>>17753812
>He's also on 4chan and hates "feminists" and "libtards" but hey, *technically* I am a feminist liberal so what does this mean?
What the kek. Do tell more, how do you two manage to get along so well?

>>17753510
So in other words you're a liberal and your friends are liberal, and you dislike conservatives

>>17753837
Awesome sex.

Just kidding. Half kidding.

I think that he excludes me from the "feminazi" and "libtards". On 4chan, he can type away mean spirited shit and get away with it, but he can't hurl insults at me because I'm a real human being in front of him and he can actually see when I am hurt. I remind him that I think /pol/ can be absolutely fucking toxic cesspool, breeding only hate, racism, and misogyny and he tells me you have to weed through that to find *truth*.

We manage to get along because we won't ever try to offend or hurt each other using politics. He may not agree with me, but he won't disrespect me as a human being for it. I sometimes remind him that people behind the internet, too, are human beings, like me. If we're ever at the point of upsetting one another, topic closed.

I honestly think he's a bit brainwashed by /pol/ LOL. Sometimes feel as if he just wants to be edgy. He's also not American, so I dismiss a lot of his views on American politics because he's never first handedly experienced what its like in America.

>>17753864
>liberal
Given how the term got bastardized by Americans and is generally very rough ... somewhat. Socially I am definitely liberal but economically I am open to any option as long it ensures a basic living standard for everybody (and not completely raping the environment), and wouldn't mind a solution with minimal state once the basics are covered.

As for friends, I got couple ones with very similar view point but also wannabe communists, right libertarians and my girlfriend is a dirty centrist. One buddy is even a Brexitfag.

Not a big fan of conservatives for sure but depends on the region. I find the republican party (after Eisenhower) or the current Tories disgusting while I don't mind current CDU in Germany.

So close enough but not quite.

>>17753895
Heh, with the contrast between how he acts with you and online, wanting to be edgy sounds like a pretty big reason for his viewpoints. Still fascinating how people who see things so fucking differently get along so fine.

I'll talk about it with coworkers but not family.

>>17753446
It's cost a few friends but not family. It could cost a partner though if they knew my leanings, so I lie to them about being the same as them.

People can get pretty insane about politics, especially uni students that are all SJW and shit, so I tend to be ambiguous whenever possible.