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What should I do /adv/, I think I took a bad decision and after

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What should I do /adv/, I think I took a bad decision and after almost 2 weeks, I keep getting nightmares at night:

>22 year old, got clinical depression and constant suicidal thoughts
>my job is everything to me
>work in an accounting firm (we call them "Big 4", there are 4 of them)
>I work in an "assistant" position, in practice I do mostly "senior" stuff and some "assistant" stuff to a lesser extent
>growth, promotions and salaries are slightly worse in my firm compared to the other firms
>expectations are considerably higher in my firm
>I'm a lonely neckbeard, I got a great relationship with my manager and co-workers

>I get unhappy for very specific shit
>I decide to apply to another firm, they end up offering me a "senior" position with a 20% salary bump
>I was quitting and explaining everything to my manager, I got paralyzed and had trouble speaking because deep in the end I didn't want to quit
>boss convinced me to stay, handed me more "responsibilities", still says it's highly unlikely that I'll get promoted next year (salary raises are not negotiable)
>I reject the other offer

>whenever I have to work as someone's assistant I get pissed off and unhappy
>a week after I reject the offer, I call back the other firm to see if I can still accept the other offer
>it's highly likely that they will call me back
>I was willing to quit 2 days ago, and yesterday boss compliments me about my late performance and hands me more projects

I don't know what to do, I don't want to leave my firm, but I don't want to have a slow growth either. There are too many "ifs" and "coulds" if I stay.
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>>17751108
I forgot to add up

>the other firm has faster growth, worse work environment, worse hours, and considerably lower expectations
>>
Well I can't tell you what to do, but I had a similar experience. My first job was in auditing at one of the big 4 and I absolutely hated it. I also interacted a lot with the big 4, especially KPMG and PWC and it's the same deal for pretty much all of them, at least not in my country. And trust me, it does not get any better. The salaries are shit for the first 5-10 years if you start from 0 and they require so much work out of you that you won't have any private life, especially in the first trimester. Like half of the people who start working there quit in the first year and most of them quit in the first 3-5 years. And almost all of the rest are miserable and have no private life.

I quit the job and learned programming. Best decision I ever made. I also know that a lot of people leave the job and go into internal auditing and accounting, usually for smaller companies. They tend to make more money and have a lot more free time. The big 4 are great for kickstarting a career, any resume will look great with a couple of years or so working there and you really learn a lot, but godamn, is it draining. Depending on how long you worked there you can probably find something much better.

It may be somewhat different in your country, since you seem to not complain so much about work hours, but if it's even remotely similar I suggest you quit immediately as you'd find a much better deal outside the big 4.
>>
>>17751140
I like working in audit, I'd hate not working in audit.

I don't care that much about the money right now, because I'm 22.
>>
>>17751144
well if career is the only thing you see and want now and nothing else about the job bothers you then you should probably stay. As I said, working at one of the big 4 is probably the best way of learning auditing, accounting, finances and/or taxes. If you feel like your progress is too slow you can move at one of the other big 4s, they love getting people who are already trained to some extent from their competitors, but if your progress really is slow it's probably because of you, not because of the company.

if you feel like you're progressing slower than your peers you should ask your TL for a detailed review and what to improved, they're usually happy to give it if they find the time.

Still. Remember that there's reason why people don't work for more than 5 years in auditing.

Just out of curiosity, which one of the big 4 you're working at?
>>
>>17751167
>Just out of curiosity, which one of the big 4 you're working at?
PwC, wanna change into EY.

I don't work in US, it's almost always mandatory to work 4 years as a staff to get promoted to senior, I'm already a "promoted Staff" with 2.5 years of experience.

I've seen people get promoted to Senior A/Senior 2/highest tier Senior after 7 or 8 fucking years at the firm, and these are good people, this growth is retarded.

My firm just changed its office and they will definitely have money troubles, even more unlikely to get promoted or get good raises next year.
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