Why do girls say you creep them out, but when they see you at

>>17749588
Because her personality is nice, chipper, outgoing and polite. It's not about you, life isn't a movie where people act like high school girls if someone weirds them out slightly.

>>17749605
I'm sorry, but if you find someone creepy, you find them creepy entirely. That kind of view is the end-all-be-all finales to all sorts of relationships. You're no longer compatible as friends. You're no longer compatible as acquaintances. You're not even compatible as strangers in public. They find you a threat to your safety. And the second they see you as that is the second everything between the two of you ends, and ends for good. There's no turning back. You're pretty much enemies at this point.

That type of behaviour on her part, her personality, contradicts everything and gives completely the wrong message and signals. If she finds you creepy, there's no repairing or any friendliness possible. You're just hostiles now.

>>17749605
If she was truly creeped by him, she would try her hardest not to give him the time of day. That just encourages men to further their creepy advances.

>>17749607
You're delusional and see things in a black and white manner. She's just a nice person it's not this super dramatic thing to her she just thinks you're creepy. She can still be cordial. Seek help you sound very self-absorbed.

You're really focusing on the wrong thing here. It doesn't matter why she acts like that. And in all honesty it seems pretty normal behavior to me. If my friends act like retards or creeps I'll tell them and it won't stop me from being friends with them. Would you lose sleep over a male friend telling you that you're an idiot then next day acting friendly and chatty?

Just figure out if there really was something off-putting that you did when she said you creep her out. I'm not telling you to stop doing it just because someone was creeped out because of it, but it's good to be aware of these things.

girls act all nice and chatty the next day because they are afraid of you. its out of fear that if they dont stay on your good side, you'll do something horrible. it's a defense mechanism.

>>17749588
Idk man, being called creepy would suck

People consistently say that I have an heir of superiority and that when I talk I have a tone like I'm better than everyone else. Shit sucks cause I think I just have a resting bitch face mixed with a deep serious voice even though I'm a very lighthearted guy most of the time

>>17749894
>>17749917
Sorry, but creep means you were threat to their physical safety somehow. That's what it implies. You were enough a compromise that see you as a potential danger. That's what it means to be creepy, that's what a creep is. Someone that can very, seriously hurt you for all you know. Perhaps even worse.

Once you make it to that point, it's over between you and them. You can't be lovers. You can't be friends. You can't be friendly. You can't even acknowledge each other's existence. Otherwise you're furthering that threat. Not only to them but possibly yourself.

A creep is not someone you can be nice to. Not someone you can trust around you. Not someone you can be alone with. It's someone you would have to carry a weapon on you for self-defence just in case. And not someone you risk leading on and being nice to.

If someone thinks you're creepy, you were obviously doing whatever is to make you that much of a threat to them. Even if it's bullshit, it's a very serious accusation that needs to be taken as such. Something most men can't seem to understand.

>>17749917
uh, yeah, them being a creep does mean cutting off all contact with them. being a moron is one thing. being a creeper is another. if someone acts like a creep, they get no second chances. same goes if you have a friend who raped someone, killed someone, gets arrested for a very serious crime. they're no longer friends after all that. and if i had one that does all that shit, they're out for good. and you're very obviously male, so you probably don't understand how serious all that stuff is, and why such individuals needed to be curbed out of your life. most men don't.

>>17749982
>Idk man, being called creepy would suck
Would certainly be enough to make me off myself. I even have a suicide kit in case an ex-lover finds me creepy. Once you fuck up that badly it's pretty much it for you.

>>17749982
>>17750024
Same. Good thing I have my .45 M1911 these days. Least I can go out stylishly.

>>17750000
>>17750016
I disagree. You don't have to fear for your safety to call someone creepy. Usually people are called creepy because they're awkward and/or unsettling in one way or another, not because they're seen as potential murderers and rapists. Maybe you do that and maybe you would never have any kind of relationship with someone who creeped you out, but that doesn't go for everybody. I'm pretty sure I called all my friends creeps at one point or another, jokingly or not and I've been called a creep a bunch of times too, by men and women. And I'm still friends with some of them.

And from what OP is saying it seems pretty clear to me that the girl he's talking about doesn't really see him as a threat to her safety.

they unintentionnaly test you how you react in uncomfortable situations

pay no mind to what they say, keep doing your own stuff and they will eventually bend over
or not
in which case find another one

>>17750040
>You don't have to fear for your safety to call someone creepy.
A creeper is someone you have to fear your safety around. You don't know what they're going to do, but all other signs suggest it isn't worth the risk, so you have to avoid them in case. That's something you constantly have to live with if as a woman. Being more likely to be put in harm's way. Needing to tread carefully when you're out and about. I promise you virtually any girl you know feels the same. Because clearly, as a guy, you really don't know what it's like, since you're not as likely to be put in harm's way. And when it does happen, you're more likely capable of defending yourself. We're not.

>Usually people are called creepy because they're awkward and/or unsettling in one way or another, not because they're seen as potential murderers and rapists.
It's because that person is acting in a way that makes him a credible threat. That's the point. He might be a threat. But you don't know and can't risk it.

>Maybe you do that and maybe you would never have any kind of relationship with someone who creeped you out, but that doesn't go for everybody.
Yeah. Unfortunately that "doesn't go for everybody" depends on gender and physical capability. If someone's a risk, you need to keep away from the best you can.

>I'm pretty sure I called all my friends creeps at one point or another, jokingly or not and I've been called a creep a bunch of times too, by men and women.
1). You're a guy, you're mostly friends with guys, so of course a creeper is not going to mean anything to you, because you can actualyl survive them.
2). The fact you're being called creepy at all, even jokingly, is alarming.

>And from what OP is saying it seems pretty clear to me that the girl he's talking about doesn't really see him as a threat to her safety.
Either that, or she's too young and hasn't experienced enough creepers to see him as a threat to her safety. It'll happen soon enough.

>>17750040
Yeah but you have to understand that creepy for women means all that. If you want evidence, just look up statistics from the FBI. The amount of sexual assault that happens is absurdly high and common. But because assault is a crime that leaves little to no evidence behind, there isn't enough to bring legal charges. Often the perp walks free, and often the victim is not believed. Women know this by heart and have it on their minds at all times. It's also quite common to be assaulted by someone they personally know. So any instance of creeping is not going to taken as a joke by them. And they're not going to be willing or forgiving to those who might hurt them.

>>17750060
I'm a woman and you sound batshit insane. You can call someone a creep and think someone's creepy and still be around them. I have friends I think are creepy who are harmless when in groups. I just wouldn't want to date them, get close to them, or be around them much. I treat them nicely because I'm not a bitch.

>>17750060
>since you're not as likely to be put in harm's way
I live in a shitty eastern european country. People get stabbed over petty arguments and get punched for looking at others funny all the time. And most of them aren't small girls. I tend to disagree.

>I promise you virtually any girl you know feels the same.
No, they don't. And unless you have a PhD in psychology or something like that I'll kindly invite you to go fuck yourself the next time you, as a person who knows close to nothing about me or my friends and acquaintances, presume to tell me how and what we think.

I tend to think most of us realize that people can get awkward, flustered or goofy and act in ways that can be perceived as "creepy", but this does not mean that they're going to bash your skull in because of that. Everybody acting in some way that can be considered creepy at one point or another, doesn't mean all of us are insane. The only reason you've never been called creepy yourself is because people cared enough about your feeling not to do it. Not because you never acted creepy.

A little caution regarding the people around you is vital, but too much and you end up thinking that a weird stare means that person is psychotic killer.

>>17750094
you are far worse than a bitch
you are fake
a fucking snake

>>17750116
Further proof that you're insane

>>17749588
>Why do girls say you creep them out, but when they see you at a public event, they always seem excited to see you, yet disappointed if you aren't attending that event, or ecstatic if you are?

>I really don't get that
I haven't read the whole thread yet but it seems no one has given you a simple explanation here it is:

>Why do girls say you creep them out
this is what they TELL YOU, right?

>but when they see you at a public event, they always SEEM excited to see you
this is what you perceive.

Notice the difference? what you perceive is likely the result of your ego's self defense mechanism.

It is that simple, I think other anons are going off on entirely tangential issues and sparked a pedantic debate that is entirely unnecessary.

>>17749588

It seems to me that something you did made her feel that you two weren't right for eachother but also she is polite and didn't want to hurt your feelings.

I think the best course for you is either a) if you feel like you don't want anything more than platonicity with her and you two generally get along, then make a new friend and enjoy the company of a person who is polite and friendly enough to be pleasant in a situation that easily could be unpleasant or b) step away from her or remove her from your life enough that she is just an acquaintance you occasionally run into in your sphere, and reciprocate the same politeness but just move on.

>>17750127
>but also she is polite and didn't want to hurt your feelings.
That's actually pretty infuriating and perhaps the worst way to handle this situation aside from getting physical. If you don't like someone, don't even acknowledge. Any acts of kindness or politeness is a slap in the face and disingenious.

>if you feel like you don't want anything more than platonicity with her and you two generally get along, then make a new friend and enjoy the company of a person who is polite and friendly enough to be pleasant in a situation that easily could be unpleasant
Yeah, no. If someone you like doesn't return your feelings, or you have a history with, then being friends is not good enough and completely insulting. I'd rather have them as enemies than friends at that point.

>>17750125
don't know what op's issue is but,
>what you perceive is likely the result of your ego's self defense mechanism.
ad hominem.

>>17750094
Why would you even be friendly towards those you don't want to get close to?

Being nice to them is probably the worst possible thing you can do without having to resort to hyperboles.

>>17750134
Not that anon but ad hominem would be to insult OP's character without addressing the issue. That post is an exposition, and if OP's words are to be taken seriously, it's a sound theory too. I don't see how a person who doesn't have personal stake in this topic can interpret it as insult.

>>17750133

> If you don't like someone, don't even acknowledge. Any acts of kindness or politeness is a slap in the face and disingenious.

I think that you might have some issues in that you are too self centered and seem to think that everything is a ploy against you. Would you rather this person constantly berate and belittle you in front of your friends? This person is evidently raised well enough that they can accommodate being cordial toward you in an effort to not make you feel awkward, and not give it a second thought. Any assertion that you have of playing mind games is an incorrect one.

>Yeah, no. If someone you like doesn't return your feelings, or you have a history with, then being friends is not good enough and completely insulting. I'd rather have them as enemies than friends at that point.

You're taking this very personally. It is possible for two people to remain friends after some kind of history, and it's possible for two people to be compatible as friends but not partners.I think you harbour resentment because you believe that the rejection is indicative of some kind of personal failing,or you feel betrayed that you were able to let yourself become too emotionally invested too quickly and the other person found this overwhelming. Ultimately this person doesn't owe you anything, just like now you don't owe her anything.

Here is a word of advice that hopefully you can learn from and become a better person. You shouldn't look for a relationship, you should look for nice, intelligent and honest people that stimulate you and make you feel good, who you are happy to be friends with. Eventually you will find someone who you are attracted to and vice versa, and if that works out then everything is ok, if it doesn't then you are still able to resume the same fulfilling friendship you had in the past.

Also, and I am absolutely not memeing here, you appear to display some characteristics of being on the autistic spectrum. Perhaps get tested?

>>17750137

There are different ways of being close

>>17750137
Because they're people and being nice to people who haven't given me a reason not to is part of my character. Being "creepy" unless they've proven themselves to be dangerous is not enough.

>>17750146
>Not that anon but ad hominem would be to insult OP's character without addressing the issue.
it was. any time you reference a person's character in an argument, it's an attack on that. their personal habits are not relevant or the point. only the argument they're making. what's being said, not who's saying it.

>>17750158
it's only ad hominem if you use their character trait as the basis of your argument, which no one did.

learn your shit before shooting your mouth off, idiot.

ps. that was just an insult, not ad hominiem.

>>17750158
>their personal habits are not relevant or the point
refer to
>likely the result of your ego's self defense mechanism
is directly relevant to the situation.

Also what is OP's argument? and how is the given explanation not directly address that argument? he asks for an explanation, what's being said is about who's saying it. You can't apply rote formal logic into this situation.

>>17749588
Women want:
>a man who makes lots of money but never works long hours
>a man who is handsome but never grooms himself
>a man with an athletic body who never works out
>a man who treats them respectably but also treats them like a piece of meat

A better question is, why are you losing sleep over a delusional, contradictory, convoluted creature, instead of living your life to the best you can?

>>17750164

You sound bitter

>>17750150
>Would you rather this person constantly berate and belittle you in front of your friends?
You'd rather they be neutral and disinterested. Being nice and friendly implies they show an interest in you of some kind and sends the wrong signals. And that's something you have to be considerate towards, what signals you send the person. Even if it's unintentional, if they pick it up wrongly, you're often going to be the one who has to pay for it.

>You're taking this very personally. It is possible for two people to remain friends after some kind of history, and it's possible for two people to be compatible as friends but not partners.I think you harbour resentment because you believe that the rejection is indicative of some kind of personal failing,or you feel betrayed that you were able to let yourself become too emotionally invested too quickly and the other person found this overwhelming. Ultimately this person doesn't owe you anything, just like now you don't owe her anything.
You sound like the type who believes in the friend-zone and jumps to that conclusion any time the opposite sex is mentioned. If you're no longer friendly or together with a person, then they're gone. So don't treat them like that. That's just an insult to them, it's an insult to you, and keeps your hands on somebody who shouldn't be anywhere near you. If you're not close to anyone, don't even bother with them.

>>17750157
>Because they're people and being nice to people who haven't given me a reason not to is part of my character.
And it's dishonest and leaves the wrong social cues. If you're not interested in somebody as a romantic partner or friend, then there's no reason to treat them like that or invest any of that into them. You don't know them, don't want them; they feel the same. Just treat each other as the bystanders you are.

>>17750169
I've got a common law partner, 2 dogs and a house. I sleep great.
The point is you're delusional about what women are.

>>17750170
>And it's dishonest and leaves the wrong social cues. If you're not interested in somebody as a romantic partner or friend, then there's no reason to treat them like that or invest any of that into them. You don't know them, don't want them; they feel the same. Just treat each other as the bystanders you are.

Being nice to someone isn't flirting. It's not my fault if someone is autistic, the world's social dynamics shouldn't change to cater to the 1% of people who are socially retarded and extremely bitter over it. It's good for plenty of people.

>>17750162
it's an ad hominem, and personal attack, if you reference their character at all.
>>what you perceive is likely the result of your ego's self defense mechanism.
is a personal attack and including a character trait (i.e.: ego's self defense mechanism) is part of the argument.

in fact, the reason this thread has turn into a shit heap is because of arguments like that. for an advice board, that's not how you give advice. that's just telling someone what to do and poking fingers in places that gets a rise out of them. the second you do that, even if you didn't mean to, is the second you failed at giving advice and lose the argument. it's also the second you fail at approaching people in conversation in general. you might as well just call him a nigger at this point.

>>17750179
>in fact, the reason this thread has turn into a shit heap is because of arguments like that. for an advice board, that's not how you give advice. that's just telling someone what to do and poking fingers in places that gets a rise out of them. the second you do that, even if you didn't mean to, is the second you failed at giving advice and lose the argument. it's also the second you fail at approaching people in conversation in general. you might as well just call him a nigger at this point.

Some people need tough love. Knowing he's misinterpreting the situation is valuable advice. Coddling people and only telling them things that'd make them feel good isn't the answer, no one grows from that.

>>17750177
>Being nice to someone isn't flirting.
Being friendly to anyone you're not familiar with is flirting. Even if you're not meaning to, that's a risk you have when meeting new people. And unfortunately you have to account for that any time you socialise in public. So you want to be more neutral and nonchalant, like they're just a random person in the street. Otherwise, whether or not it's intentional, it does give off the wrong social signals at times.

>It's not my fault if someone is autistic, the world's social dynamics shouldn't change to cater to the 1% of people who are socially retarded and extremely bitter over it.
But people still are going to make you pay for giving off the wrong clues.

>>17750163
>>17750162
>>17750146
Once you reference someone's character in an advice, it's going to be taken personally. And the fault's sadly on you for doing that. Giving advice also means being non-confrontational, even if said advice is right in the situation. There's a little rule called "empathy before honesty," and unfortunately you have to take that path if you don't want to risk losing your audience.

>>17750170

>You sound like the type who believes in the friend-zone and jumps to that conclusion any time the opposite sex is mentioned.

Actually I think the friend zone is bullshit. If someone rejects you and you carry on acting like a friend to them. You are friends. If you are too scared to ask someone out but act like a friend to them, you are friends. This person is being friendly towards you, you can choose to accept that and reciprocate, and perhaps engage in a friendship or ignore that and cut them out of your life. If you reciprocate in being friendly yet think in your head that you're not friends, you are still friends, just like if you are driving a car but in your head you are at home, you are still driving a car.

>Being nice and friendly implies they show an interest in you of some kind and sends the wrong signals.

How do you know that is person isn't open to being platonic?

Why don't we really figure out the core of the problem. What is the whole story from start to finish? What are the nitty gritty details of what happened? Truthfully.

Maybe I'm wrong,maybe this person is an asshole, but from what you've given me and us to go on this doesn't seem the case.

>>17750184
that's abusive logic that often leads to people becoming abusive themselves.

>>17750199
>How do you know that is person isn't open to being platonic?
You don't, but you don't come onto them like that in the off-chance they are. You slowly get to know them over time before you can determine what you want with each other.

>>17750200

That's not abusive logic at all. Learning from your mistakes is an important thing. Sometimes it is difficult to recognize your own mistakes.

>>17750203
>Learning from your mistakes is an important thing.
telling someone, making them, learn from those mistakes is not important and is just being abusive. you don't tough love those who aren't in the state for it.

>>17750184
Boy do I want to list you the amount of abusive case working I've done in the past and how often the parents felt that doing otherwise was "coddling" their kids.

I don't think "girls" do this, I think one girl has maybe done this to you before so I'm not sure what an entire gender has to do with your isolated issue.

It sounds a lot like this girl is just a normal girl who is still being friendly with you despite your inappropriate behaviour.

>woman makes the 'we are constantly afraid/constantly have to look out for ourselves men don't understand' argument
>most refuse to go to any kind of martial arts/gun training or even watch simple YouTube videos on how to stay safe

boggles my mind. if I constantly felt unsafe or afraid of people I would think I would try to alleviate that in some way myself, instead of complaining and waiting for everyone else to change.

>OP asks for advice about women
>thread devolves into a bunch of C- philosophy majors arguing about the definition of "ad hominem"

Never change, 4chan

>>17750227
No, she sounds like a little bitch.

>>17750307

Opinions are like arse holes, everybody's got one and nobody wants to see yours.

>>17750306
There wasn't any "argument", just a bunch of different people telling the guy who started using the term how idiotic he is >>17750134

Usually when people reject someone, they're not trying to burn down every bridge the two of you ever walked across. She's hoping you didn't take it too personally.

Still, calling someone creepy usually means that they don't want to see you anymore. So I dunno.

>>17749894

This. I've known women that view certain guys as dicks or creeps, yet they can maintain composure and politeness in social interactions while drawing lines, limiting talk or subtly pushing them away or redirecting them.

If you've worked in any customer service positions you'd see this daily. It is not honest but mostly a way to avoid unnecessary conflict.

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>advice thread on women
>few hours later: pic related
>lol4chan

>>17750192
>Being friendly to anyone you're not familiar with is flirting. Even if you're not meaning to, that's a risk you have when meeting new people. And unfortunately you have to account for that any time you socialise in public. So you want to be more neutral and nonchalant, like they're just a random person in the street. Otherwise, whether or not it's intentional, it does give off the wrong social signals at times.
So you can never be friendly to old people or your clients if you're a therapist or doctor or your kids' new friends because you'd be flirting with them. Whatever. Some people are just friendly to everyone unless they've pissed them off, deal with it autist.

>But people still are going to make you pay for giving off the wrong clues.
No one makes me pay, I don't give a shit if some autist is fuming in his basement after I've been kind to him. If someone thinks we're getting romantic I just say I'm not interested, usually that's that and the other party doesn't give a shit either. They can go fuck themselves if they felt entitled to something more, I don't give a shit.

>>17750531
If they interpret friendliness as flirting they're the ones getting the wrong clues anyway, the problem is on their end.

>>17750218
Do it.

>>17750531
>being friendly to kids
That is pretty creepy.

>Some people are just friendly to everyone
Those people tend to be weird and easy to take advantage of.

>>17750533
it's a double-edged sword. sure they're getting in the wrong clues, but those clues weren't there in the first place. you generally have to be considerate to all outcomes when interacting with people. they're not going to take you as flirty unless you're doing something that signals it. wrong or not.

>>17750531
>>17750533
General friendliness CAN BE coming on too strong, though. Which can easily be creepy. There's been incidents with people like being friendly that tends to be awkward and antagonistic.

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>>17750496

Most threads on women advice are most likely from spergs that can't even interact with fellow men properly or read social cues.

>>17750627
>read social cues
Like what? The social cue that if she smiles at you, she wants you to approach her?

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>>17750638

A smile is one thing, but body language, tone, posture etc. give away a lot. I'm probably just being a dick since I've dealt with people too long and I'm used to this, but it's pretty easy to discern a person's true disposition or interest after a few minutes of chatting. That is unless they're guarded, a sociopath, shy or autistic. Every normal person gives away a lot in just about five minutes of interaction. If you're not a social person these signals won't mean shit and you'll be confused.

A smile is one thing but you have to have context or observe. If a smile meant a girl was down to fuck I'd be nailing women in the service industry. Sometimes politeness is just part of their personality, which can cause crossed wires, but you can sort that out. While communication is key, they might be awful at clarification so why not take up that end to clear any confusion? Not taking steps to understand a situation and crying about it like a baby is silly. If you lack the skills required then gain them.

If you want to see if the smile meant more, investigate and chat. Rejection or getting your ego bruised isn't the end of the fucking world. If she's confusing or playing games just move on. There are tons of other people out there.

>>17750627
>>17750638
>>17750658
Sorry, no, social cues are bullshit since they're not universal or common. And considering how different cultures have different social cues, it's also a racist concept.

For one, in my culture, people are raised to only smile at strangers if they're romantically. If it's with friends and family, it's expected. But someone you don't know? Smiles alone are reserved only for flirting. Even in jobs, you don't smile at strangers otherwise. Not only that, but having a closed off body language is seen as polite, since being too open is considered imposing and arrogant. And simple eye contact between strangers is seen as rude and invasive. While we're on that, eye contact in a lot of European countries is considered flirting if it's between opposite sex. While smiles are seen as weird if you're not already familiar with that person.

Also, considering there are mental disorders that make reading social cues difficult, it's also an ablest concept that cuts them out and segregates them.

Plus families and upbringings influence how one reads social cues and signals, so you're going to get people who going to read them differently simply because of how they were taught. And you also have subcultures within a country, like upper class, Ivy League, working families, etc. with varying degrees of social communication through non-direct mediums. Social cues are just a prejudiced, prejudiced concept that makes assumptions about your personality, your culture, your race, your upbringing and outwardly assumes you're enough of the same to read their minds.

It's highly offensive, and no one should be expected to read them from anyone.

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>>17750627
I'm a guy and I find it incredibly difficult to talk with most other guys, mostly because they speak in vapid sentences starting in "bro.."

Women are easier to understand and talk to m8, just be mildly friendly, poke fun of them a bit and you're off to the races

>inb4 you must be a giant loser
If losing is getting hit on and asked out on a bi-daily basis, I'm losing alot

>>17750691

What in the actual hell did I just even read? Social cues are a racist and offensive idea? What side of the Internet did you roll on in from?

Yes, gestures and such will differ culture to culture, but there are general signs that can give you a rough idea of a person. I'm sorry to say but nobody is a special snowflake and there are patterns.

Upbringing can produce bias or prejudice, some of which a person might not fully realize, but a somewhat neutral standpoint isn't impossible. Assessing social interactions isn't dissecting a person or dehumanizing them or their beliefs. You're reading the interaction to get an idea of where it will lead, what they might need or want.

If you are so against this then the workers in the service industry or medical field must offend the hell out of you. They sometimes interact with patients or customers that have issues interacting and thus they rely on cues or signs to find how they might be assisted or receive what they need.

>>17750711

I'm not going to talk any sort of shit about that. I know men like you and that's alright.

>>17750720
Yes, they are racist because you're making an assumption of their ethnic background and culture and assuming you two will instinctively mesh. If you already know the person, it works since you're aware of each other's subtle quirks. But a complete and utter strange, that's an inexcusable and disrespectful way to communicate to them.

The only time you get general patterns is if the cultures come from the same geographic regions, where those type of environments influence how people communicate with each other in order to take advantage and survive in it. Much like how cultures and tribes raised in climates with lots of resources tend to come out more competitive. And possibly because of evolutionary stages in a certain region, like the neanderthalensis in Europe, or erectus in Asia.

And you also have disabilities and different mentalities that either alter or shut off their ability to read subtleties. So you're basically vetoing them as well. Which is unsurprising considering the hateful remarks against those people in this thread. It's incredibly disrespectful to communicate to people like that and dishonest.

And have you ever been to the medical field? That type of approach is typically treated as unethical when dealing with patients. You have to take them at their word when working with them.

>>17750720
>If you are so against this then the workers in the service industry or medical field must offend the hell out of you.
you have to be direct with your communication when working those jobs...

also trying to read someone's social cues is kind of creepy. like you're prying or studying them.

>>17749588
>Why would she tell me the stuff I do was creepy to her? Yet if we happen to bump into at a bar or concert, she's surprisingly chipper and talkative

could be tons of reasons. i dont know this girls so my opinion is only going to be an assumption.

she might like you on a friendship level but also finds you creepy, and told you that she feels this way in an attempt to help you see your flaws.

she might be excited that people are paying attention to her.

she might be enerally be a chirpy person that gets excited when they see someone unexpectedly.

if its really bothering you, you could always ask her. she already thinks you're creepy so it doesent even matter if its awkward to ask her

>>17750758

I simply don't understand how you're equating assessing interactions with racism. Maybe I'm just being a bit thick here since I'm exhausted. What I'm speaking about is general observation. I'm not saying you impose or form ideas on what you believe to be correct on others, as that IS disrespectful, but take a passive approach to see who they are or their needs.

Yes, I agree and know attitudes or certain customs differ based upon areas. It is difficult but when meeting someone with a unique background or traits I'm always interested in finding out who they are and interacting and watching their habits provides that. I've been exposed to all manner of customs or behavior I might find bizarre but it's always amazing to learn of how people of other cultures function socially.

With enough time you can form a foundation not to assume, but to understand them through interaction.

>>17750763

My medical field comment was idiotic and I do apologize. I have worked many positions dealing with people directly and volunteer a lot. Direct communication is key but I have assisted people that had issues communicating. Sometimes reading cues is a way to get the ball rolling so they can get moving toward what they 100% need. No assumptions since yes, it HAS to be correct.

The way I talk about this is a bit strange but I assure you I'm not carrying around a magnifying glass and such. I'm just weird in that I genuinely like talking to new people and I notice traits, sometimes common, among them.

I'm honestly quite happy I found this thread. Probably the most interesting conversation I've had on the site in a while.