Relationship Thread

>Meet girl, both first time dating (we're both 21)
>See each other more and more
>Express interest in each other after several months
>Been dating for almost 3 months now
However
>Only hugged once this whole time
>Rarely make physical contact beyond playful bumps
>Never held hands
>Basically an intimate-less relationship
>still terrified of getting closer to her
>talking is still awkward and full of silences
This has been going on the three months. I thought things would get easier but they haven't. I still can't get closer to her and neither can she. We very rarely bring up how we feel and most meetups are just small talking about one's week or doing something live video games or movie. I still have trouble talking about deeper things and it just becomes very uncomfortable for me and her.

I mean she's willing to go out with me all the time and she has said she likes me but she doesn't show it. She's never complimented me or anything. She's said she's awkward and I know that, but that's making me nervous and in turn I can't get any closer to her. I just freeze up. Every meetup we have a good time but I'm left disappointed.

How are two autistics supposed to make it work? Is this relationship already doomed? Reading up on people just clicking with each other after a few talks or kissing on the third date or whatever makes me really worried.

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Hi, this is my first time replying on 4chan.
Dude, u have everything to be happy imo, it's BOTH first time dating, just look for some activity both like, watch an exciting movie, u can play a drink game, or cook something.

I had my first relationship one year ago, i'm 21, she is 19, i didn't expect to be her first too desu, but holy shit, she did so much stupid things, i can't believe it, Like he cheated her first bf with her seconds, her 2nd with her first AND with her 3rd, also her first bf was 25 when she was 13, i feel like i want to smash my head with the wall every time i think about all the thing that happened in her past, i don't know where to begin, like when i was 15-19 i was about to get laid many times, but i didnt want to be with someone who fucks just because she can. and i waited someone who i can trust. BUT APPARENTLY at that age, she didn fucking care about anything, i don't know where to begin im starting to feel sick,
pic related.

why when i type t b h it says desu lol

>>17749548
We do things we like but I obviously want more.

3 months with no intimacy has to be the slowest moving relationship ever. I feel like this is not right and I should be concerned about this.

I would like to bring up stuff like this to her but we're both awkward as hell and can't speak to each other properly.

I don't want this to cause problems and lead to the end of our relationship.

That's sucks about your first relationship but hopefully you'll meet someone better or she's learned her lesson.

i'm still with her.

i don't think that's the slowest relationship, i would rather have a shy relationship and learn together.
but if u think it's way too slow it's fine, i think you should try to ask her silly questions, play truth or dare, make her lose her shyness, that's the thing, alcohol is optional.

idk if i can call it a relationship but
friend, met her a few months ago playing Pokemon Go lmao. we hung out a bunch, only like once it was just the two of us.

last weekend she asked me if i wanted to join her and a friend for drinks and dinner. didn't have other plans so i did.

ended up at a bar, i had about 10 shots, she had about 6 + 2 glasses of wine. at about 2AM she is dancing in front of me. next thing i know she is grinding all up on me on the dance floor. i oblige cos it seemed like the thing to do. she turns around at some point, we keep dancing. i don't reaaaally remember who leaned in first but we were then making out. stopped, danced. made out. stopped. danced. went to side of the dance floor, made out for a while against the wall. when i was seeing her off, we made out a bit again before saying our goodbyes.

i asked her the next day if that was just the alcohol, or something else. she said she didn't know or wasn't sure.

we have plans to see a movie this weekend (as an actual date), but i'm wondering what other people think of this situation?

PRETTY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION: before she was grinding up on me, she was making out with some other dude that approached on the dance floor? but after a couple minutes of dancing w/ him she sort of wandered away. i know people are going to say she's a slut/whore or whatever but idk. i didn't really care t b h. i'm not super emotionally invested in her. just kind of want to see where things go.

>>17749548
Your gf was molested and you're making it sound like it's a stupid thing she did, lol.

>>17749601
i've read her facebook conversations, she says things that are fucked up, i don't feel sorry for her, it sounds bad but that's how it is, she talked about these things with a friend, she didn't even care, it wasn't just one time, i don't know, when iread those conversation i don't believe that she was the one who wrote that. but she was. i don't want to sound like an asshole but, fuckkkk i hate that so much... i hate how she talk about a relationship, she said she changed, she doesn't want to be like that now. but idk. SHE LOOKS SO INNOCENT, i hate myself

Just where I needed to post this.
I'm stuck in a loop, being picked up and dropped by a sociopath.
I love this person and know they don't have to lie and manipulate to receive respect and love, and have given six years of my life (19-25) to stick by this person and show them I'd do anything it takes to be together, solidity, unconditional love, forgiveness.
I know I'm the problem as much as they are, since I keep going back. I try to make strides in my life to grow and learn and be productive, but I am bullied and dragged down by this one person who invalidates everything I do, and is more concerned about my fiscal worth than my character.
They've lied, cheated, never stopped messaging potential fwb's and continues even now to try to con me into still being friends.
One day after they kick me out of their house (again) after frog marching me up the stairs to their room, to sit me in a chair in the middle of the room, telling me not to speak, or 'I'm out', as they berated me for finally snapping and telling them off for being abusive.

>>17749477
Escalate, escalate, escalate. Get comfortable with displaying your sexuality and advance.
If she doesn't reciprocate, move on.

>>17749548
She's too crazy for you to handle, move on.

>>17749579
Good work, keep putting effort into it and pay attention to her emotional needs.

>>17749600
She was fishing and caught you, consider yourself lucky. Get to know her better to be sure. Good luck.

>>17749642
>I'm stuck in a loop, being picked up and dropped by a sociopath.
>I love this person
ABANDON SHIP

>>17749446
We were nearly four years together and one engaged.
But it's over because I spent too much time on my work and not enough with her. I was rude and said hurtful things when I was mad. I disregarded her feelings. I communicated poorly and she stopped communicating at all.

Just fuck my shit up and kill me now.

I can handle this. In some ways I've been through worse. But goddamn if it doesn't make me feel like chugging bleach.

I'm glad I at least have the camaraderie of you all, my fellow sad bastards.

>>17749647
yea, move on, seems easy right?, she's my first gf, i have been with her for a whole year, she knows my family, our relationship went so fast, i don't know...
maybe i will type the whole story in green text, but it's fucking long and hard to explain.

>>17749658
>yea, move on, seems easy right?
Easier to break up after one year than two.
Figure out what your personal boundaries are and stand up for them.

>>17749647
Cheers.
It's hard to abandon a ship you've done everything in your power to keep afloat. I feel like I've tossed everything overboard, but myself. Friends, family, work, school. My character, perception of myself, is shattered. I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes, late like this, I am lucid enough to know he never wanted 'me' in the first place. Makes me want to sit and disappear into nothing.
Now I'm convinced every kindness is a ruse. I treat people like I've been treated, and drive them away by scores. I know what damaged goods are, I just never expected to be one of them.

>>17749665
>Figure out what your personal boundaries are and stand up for them.
ty for the advice, seriously.

>>17749684
Glad I could help!
https://markmanson.net/boundaries

>>17749681
Yeah, it sounds like you've got some baggage. But so does everyone who has played the relationship game long enough. It's good that you can see your problems, though.
>It's hard to abandon a ship you've done everything in your power to keep afloat. I feel like I've tossed everything overboard, but myself. Friends, family, work, school. My character, perception of myself, is shattered. I don't know who I am anymore.
I've been there. It was the rock bottom on which who I am now was founded. I hope you can do the same, but it takes a lot of work and pain.
It sounds like you need to work on trust - maybe start with learning how to trust yourself.

>>17749579
>>17749554
>>17749548
If you click the post number of who you are replying to it can make it easier to know who you are talking to senpai

>>17749647
>Escalate, escalate, escalate. Get comfortable with displaying your sexuality and advance.
It just never feels right whatever the situation. That's why it's taking so long. I know that she likes me and I'm not worried about her rejecting my advances because she's not into me. I'm worried about them being too uncomfortable. If I can't make comfortable advances, I have to force it, but forcing it doesn't feel good.

Heck I've told her she looks really cute once and she kind of just made a whimper noise. I don't think she knows how to respond to such remarks so it just comes out weird.

>>17749642
I have to say this somewhat sounds like me and my ex. My mother always called me a sociopath. I think I might be, but I do feel emotions, and bonds to people. Most significant was my ex.

We were together for 3 years and broke up 7 months ago. At one point, I truly fell in love with her. So much that I was mad jealous of all her previous relations. She did many things for me, to the extent that she let me fuck another girl. She stood by my "depression" and the mobbing from my school.

But last year we started growing apart. She started seeing a therapist due to her anxiety issues at my suggestion, and then started hanging out with her friends more. To the point that she would just come back to my place for a few hours and to sleep only. She started to give me excuses to not have sex with me, and started getting annoyed when I tried to touch her butt and stuff. She started to ditch me when I went out with her and her friends. It really made me angry. Finally she gave out to me in public because some 18 year old girl made a scene saying I "pushed her" in a crowded club.

I started feeling like I was just being used. I broke it of at the end of March. We decided to stay friends. But then around June-July I started to realize what a mistake I made, after a few one night stands that were very unfullfilling and failed attempts to date people because I couldn't give my best to it.

Until mid august she kept saying that she would think about getting back and stuff whenever I mentioned it to her. But starting in June she started to wean me off by seeing me less. I think this was more for herself though.

Last thursday, after having apologized heavily and proclaimed my feelings to her since October, she told me she had a new bf. She had been seeing him since June. Never told me though. She said she was afraid of my reaction, and that I wouldn't give her my cat when I had to leave the country for about a year.

I may just be addicted to her... I don't know.

>>17749681

>>17749750

Also, I started doing the same despite being on the other side haha. She did the same as me, but last year started seeing her friends again as she grew apart from me. I did the opposite, I abandoned all my other relations for her...

I still hope she realizes what we had was unique, and my regret and how I've changed as a person. She asked me not to contact her, a clean break, and said she would never go out with me again last thursday after she finally told me about her bf...

I hope I can find someone as kind and beautiful as her again if I am just addicted... but I don't know...

>>17749446
>dating my childhood best friend who I recently reconnected with
>in love
>he is devoted to me
>be me
>be an escort
>he knows but still loves me
>see a number of men a week
By profession I can't be devoted solely to him. I love him more than anyone on the planet and we already have a life together. He lives with me in my house and I already act like I'm his wife and I already do everything I think a wife should do. I don't have any friends and I don't have a life either so this kind of makes him the only good thing I have going on right now. He asked me why I can't just quit and be monogamous with him and I told him I wasn't ready to settle down but if I did he would be my man. My relationship with him is great and we love each other but I'm afraid to commit to him and change my lifestyle because I've lived this way for a very long time and him showing up again in my life has turned my world upside down. I just needed somewhere to vent my feelings and maybe get some advice.

>>17749750
She's trying to let you off easily and doesn't want to tell you she wants to be left alone. They'll tell you they want to be friends at first and continue to escalate the distancing from you until you get the hint and realize it's not just a break. Just move on, first love is always addicting, it's not even a figure of speech, the first time you have is sex is like forming a chemical addiction to that person. You need to move on to stay healthy because what you're describing is codependence and it's really not healthy.

>>17749755
Reminds me of the wrestler. If he won't leave on his own, and wants to stay monogamous, you need to make a decision on whether quit and to stay with him, or leave him and continue to work. You can't just string him along and torture him like that, if he cares about you and isn't comfortable with you giving yourself away like that you cannot do that to him. It's completely cruel.

>Been in online relationship for 6 months
>Play WoW together every day for at least a few hours, mostly all day
>Treasure each other, love each other a ton, always do things for each other

So, today

>Hanging out after she gets home
>She wants me, we both start getting horny
>Talking about how bad we want to fuck, how fun a sex swing would be, all kinds of dirty stuff
>She's getting drunk
>We're in two voice chats, one with just us, and one with others
>Talkative bitch comes in to the other chat
>Completely takes her attention of being dirty
>She's getting drunk as fuck, these two talk for hours
>I get salty because I had a raging boner and was horny as fuck

>She sobers up a little
>Asks me whats wrong
>Tell her, she gets upset because I get mopey when we get distracted (more like cockblocked imo)
>Says she just won't get into that with me if I'm gonna get upset
>Apologize up and down
>Tells me to stop, drop it
>I do, play for a couple hours, laugh some
>She goes to bed
>Tell each other we'll see each other in the morning, I tell her I'm sorry for earlier again
>Tell her I love her, like always
>Doesn't say it back tn, but that's not too different than normal

So, I'm pretty upset adv, she's the love of my life, and I want to keep being dirty with her and being so connected. I know some of you fags are gonna make fun of me for having an online gf, but it's better than nothing.

I already sent one of her characters a mail with a gift telling her I want to learn from this, and I want to keep being her lover. I left her a phone message too. What should I do tomorrow to get back to normal with her /adv/?

>>17749757
I'm this guy >>17749750 >>17749754

She did tell me to stop contacting her now. And that she would never go out with me again.

I wish I had realized this earlier... fuck. I wish she had told me about her new bf earlier since this was how I started to finally get rid of my despair and open up a bit. A clean wound heals quickest and pains least.

Is it bad that I still hope she might realize what we had was unique? I don't know... I understand the codependence/addiction bit. But I also feel we wouldn't have gone through hell and back together for 3 years if we weren't in love. And I attribute all the bad times, and the end, to my bad behaviour due to the problems I was facing from the mobbing I was under. I regret it all. *sigh*. I wish I had done things differently.

When I apologized and cried and proclaimed my love for the first time. I remember she had said "why didn't you do this 6 months ago..."

Damn it all...

Am I just a sociopath that is bothered from my new loneliness and the fact that she moved on? Or is it my addiction to her, my first and long term gf? Or is it true love? If it is, I always think that one day she will realize it and contact me...

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>>17749757
Not the guy you're replying to but I want you to analyze my situation, others can too, have fun.
>gf suspects she may be pregnant
>tell her well get a test after work
>she insists on getting one in the morning
>I slept in, she usually calls me non stop, this didn't happen, just a handful of hello texts
>I get greeted with "I'm a little upset with you" after replying to the hellos
>she tells me I'm insensitive
>questions our compatability
>questions what she wants
>says she's not ready to be in a relationship
>says she needs time to think and be with herself
>indecisive about anything I ask her
>says she wants to take a break but not break up
>This continues for a few hours
>we finally break it off
>she tells me she still loves me and never stopped
>texts gruaduly get shorter
>she stops talking one day (I sent the last text)
>hides her relationship status on fb
>likes a few of my posts occasionally
>keeps all of our photos on Facebook
>but deletes all of our on Instagram (I don't have an instagram but I've viewed hers on a friend's account)

Yeah. So, I'm not sure what to make of all of this. Can't tell if if this is a bluff or if she really needs alone time. Treating it as a total breakup. Still going no contact, it's been about 5 days or so. See her in my dreams almost every night.
Thoughts.

>>17749760
I see what you mean. How can I tell if he isn't comfortable with it though? He seems happy enough and we talk almost every day. The only time hes ever said anything was when he asked me that question about being with just him and I gave him my answer and he accepted it. I don't know if I'm stringing him along because I'm still giving him love and attention. I curve his needs around my work but what if I am stringing him along and I don't even know it? I'm not trying to torture him and I could never leave him and I've told him to stay with me forever because I need him but I've never had to deal with anything like this before.

Not an official relationship, but I could use some advice.
>>17749635

>>17749750
>>17749754
>>17749767

Anyone else can help me out please?

>>17749843
There is no moving on from people. It doesn't work like that. They will persist forever in your memories. Just try to keep your head up and make new memories with new people.

>5 months into dating
>very smart girl, very traditional aswell
>tight athletic body, tomboy like very pretty though
>we can talk about anything, never had instances of awkward silence
>we fool around, I eat her out and she jerks me off
>she has only had sex with one person, under 10 times and never given head
>wants to wait for sex/giving head

Don't know, it's really hard to complain. She's pretty awesome person and the no sex/head does not really bother me. What do you guys think? From what I've absorbed is that she's a very emotional girl and I'm assuming she does not want to give head/sex until she's emotionally ready? Feamanons, your take on this?

Retroactive jealousy is ruining my relationship. She's had such amazing times with her previous partners and I feel like I can never measure up, even when she says I'm far and away better than they ever were. I feel like she's lying to me as to not hurt my feelings...I don't know what to do...

>>17749755
You are using him and he's a fool but since you kinda feel bad I suggest you pay him for his time in addition to having him live in your house. Work out with him a fair compensation package and keep emotion out of the negotiation.

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I guess I'll post

> met girl on tinder
> first date went really good
> so good in fact that it set the standard for all first dates I'll ever have in the future
> she's basically too good to be true
> obviously there has to be a catch
> she has the h2 virus
> that doesn't really discourage me from getting to know her more first
> I really like her so far and she really likes me too
> I'm going to get to know her better before I make the decision to have sex with her so i know that the relationship will last first
> I guess we're *kind of* dating right now
> we are doing couple stuff and hanging out a lot even though we have only known eachother for a week

I'm just excited for the future cause I really like being with her and it makes me want to do dumb couple stuff with her all the time

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>>17749856
It's really hard... I'm in my parents' home where I know nobody, and have nothing to do atm except work out (thank fuck the ex addiction that popped up after these months at least motivated me to start this haha). Got some friends coming in in a month and a half, and some relatives I can visit but that's about it,,,

fuck this is bad but this shit >>17749767 still keeps me hopeful, and the fact that her last messaging with me last week was that "we both need to move on" which seems like a slip that she can't move on that much either...