need advice and actual tips part 1

i also told her how i feel about her, that shes really intelligent without forcing it, that i actually only know her from class, that shes unfunny but has a funny way (cant describe it ), that shes remindig me of my mother, that she has huge tits and a big ass and that i feel like i can somehow relate to her, because she has similiar interests and that ahe should be kinda honoured that i like her this much, considering i never really try to hit on girls, because of religious reasons
basically, i spilled spaghetti pretty fucking hard
she apologised and said she didnt want to fish for compliments (i kept on using insulting language during my autistic spaghetti episode), that she didnt want me to tell her my feelings forcefully and that she doesnt know what to say.
i told her to delete the messages. most of our communication (90%) up until now was electronic.
i felt ashamed to just tell her my feelings like this, so i blocked her the next day. but then i stopped feeling ashamed and deblocked her the next day, after ignoring her at school.
today, we met at school again. i tried to avoid her, but then forced myself talk to her about what happebed.i reiterated what i told her via chat. she told me that she didnt think that it was embarassing. and that she thought it was kinda weird that i wanted to go out with her at night. i asked her again: i really want to get to know you. i know that you dont feel the samd about me.
she thought about me, then reluctantly said that someone else already tried the same with her, and that it didnt work out. but in a very calm voice. i noticed that she felt uncomfortable.after a while of thinking again she said that she didnt want to give me any false hope and that its better not to try
i said ok and went home. i messaged her another really spaghetti like message, in which i told her that i dont love her, and only really like her, that i wont stop trying until i hear a definite no and i will try it, even if it has a 0.1% chance of working

i also told her that i think that shes afraid of talking about her feelings, and that i might have the wrong impression about her
and that she definetly has a wrong impression of me
i finished it with saying that i apologise for stressing her out, making her feel uncomfortable and annoying her
i finally offered her that, if there is no chance of this ever working out, i will stop messaging her now and treat her like everybody else at school. she just has to ignore my message and i will immediately do so.
she replied, saying that i am an interesting person and that she doesnt feel the same about me and doesnt know if that will change in the near future. she also told me that she tried going out with someone else whose feelings she didnt reciprocate, just to see if that would change, and that it didnt work out and that she ended up hurting him unwillingly.
and finally, she implied that i still have a chance by saying that what she told me were her honest feelings. and that she knows that it is ridiculous to get to know me only on a friendly basis.

i already replied to that but i want to hear your unbiased advice. have you ever met a person like that? or is it just the age? shes 17. why cant she just tell me to fuck off? i really dont get it. also, generally advice on acting less insecure around your crush.

>>17746741
and that she wants to know why i like her, and why i want to get to know her*

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pls respond

>>17746741
I'm sorry that it didn't work but it's time to move on. You are 18 and while it might not feel like it now I assure you you will have other opportunities in the future. Try to expand the people you hang out with and the things you do in your spare time so you don't end up obsessing over non-relationships like this in the future.

>>17746996
thanks man. i've been thinking the exact same for a long time. i wish id stop trying, but its so hard for me if she doesnt say no. i will try to do as you said and either completly avoid this kind of stuff or expand my realm of activities.