>tfw will never feel confident around women >tfw will always

Look better (fashionable), take care of yourself, etc etc.
People think that they'll start doing that shit when they've found the one that makes them happy
Bullshit
You reap what you sow. Put effort into your looks, confidence, etc and you will prosper. Also, treat yourself better. There's nothing creepier to a girl than a needy guy

>>17743931
Yeah, whenever I ask for advice it's pretty much met with "you just gotta be better man".

I get what you mean, and I know you're right, it just "fixing myself" seems like such an overwhelming task, and something I can just never wrap my head around

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>>17743889
ugh, this might seem counter productive, but in my case making more female acquaintances has actually increased my confidence and decreased my natural incline to get attached.

Try looking into it, it's been working for me. Now I can talk looking into my classmates' eyes pretty close and not feel like going insane because I can't have them.

>>17744009
Becoming friends with a girl almost always results in feelings for her. I'm actually in that situation rn and it's driving me crazy

Depression isn't incurable. Look it up yourself. There are tons of psychology websites showing you how to treat it. So go do something about it.

>>17744044
Not gonna lie, I've gotten lots of great advice I just never know how to really apply them to my life.

>>17743889
Work on campus until you talk to one that you click with
That's how I got my super qt huge tiddie gf

>>17744023
not if you have a good number of them. And I'm not even talking about being friends, as in, meeting regularly and hanging out, even just work buddies is probably enough.

The key is to do it regularly and meet as many girls as you can. You'll begin to see a pattern. Almost all of them will be nice and warm towards you, and that won't necessarily mean they're attracted to you. Once you're used to that, you'll learn to appreciate the distance and be able to not get feels so easily.

And this is coming from a guy who just a year ago or so could actually bring himself to believe that a random girl making eye contact for brief half-seconds was secretly in love with me.

>>17744056
I don't live in the city I go to school in. I live in a small down about 40 minutes away. I always have a job in said town and employment in the school is really few and far between

>>17743931

This doesn't work with depression. Real depression that is, not meme "I feel bad xD" depression.

I've lived with major depression most of my life. I've done the whole "be a better person and better things happen!" shtick because I had tried everything else. Read the books (recommended and given to me by my very successful uncle), walked the walk, talked the talk, dressed better, lost weight. The whole nine. From the outside, I should have been fine and happy, but inside, I was a trainwreck.

I had a bit of a breakdown after that bubble popped and haven't really recovered.

>>17744057
>even just work buddies is probably enough.

Significantly more women at my job than men. We're all friendly and we joke around and whatnot, however most of them are also insanely attractive and I would probably smash in a heartbeat (I don't have any feelings for any of them though).

>The key is to do it regularly and meet as many girls as you can.

Easier said than done for me, on top my my depression I can have bad social anxiety (I can't just walk up to strangers and start talking to them). All the friends I have came into my life via "natural" means. I just kinda went about my life and they found their ways into them. Unfortauntely I'm definitely not in a situation that allows for me to meet lots of women (I'm in school for programming ffs).

>>17744066
I didn't know that this was a depression thread when I wrote that. My b. I don't really know because I've been fortunate enough to not have depression but that is what's worked for me.

>>17744074
After re-reading this I realize I have the emotional maturity of a 6 year old.

Seriously wtf is my deal

>>17744081

I don't know if OP has depression, but I do. I'm 27 kv never had a date let alone a GF, and I relate to all the problems he is having with women.

Those problems line up with low self-esteem. His response to you said that the task of fixing himself was overwhelming, which self care is when you're depressed. I'm lucky if I can bring myself to shower more than once a week, and often it's longer than a week between showers.

Now, I don't know if OP is depressed, but I wouldn't be surprised. Therapy might be good, and if he's in school, he shouldn't have to pay for it..

>>17744105
OP here.

Definately struggle with depression and anxiety in some way.

Been attending counselling, sessions are few and far between but it helps. Unfortunately it doesn't seems to be fast enough. I feel like I'm wasting my college years being an anxious depressed trainwreck when I should be excited to expand my learning, "finding myself" and just be out having fun. I feel like I'm in a rush to fix myself so I can actually enjoy college to soe degree.

>>17743931
>just get a haircut, bro
people like you need to kill themselves

>>17744119

Don't burn yourself out, though. See if you can get into more sessions. Maybe tell them you're worried that your future schooling might be at risk or something.

>>17744119
>wasting my college years
Same here, anon. I have severe depression and see a therapist twice a week. It's just a waste. While others are experencing life I'm just crying and dying of jealousy

>>17744133
We had a appointment schedualed for a few days ago but there was a scheduling issue. It's probably gonna be a while before I can see him again tho.

Shit sucks. I just want these feelings to go away and learn how to just be fucking happy.

>>17744145
>tfw will probably never live anything even remotely close to a satisfying life.

May as well an fucking hero I guess

>>17744151
>an hero
It is not funny because i have tried multiple times

>>17744145

I had a breakdown and stopped going last semester. It wasn't even hard. It was just community college part time. I did well, really well. Hell, I was. Out of school for 7 years, and was tutoring math in my second semester back. I just couldn't handle it. The bullshit mandatory courses they make you take while easy were pointless. It bothered me, and "because you have to" wasn't enough to get me to go.

>>17744148

Keep pushing then.

I know how you feel, and I wish I could tell you it gets better. I can only tell you what I didn't do because trust me, it won't go away.

>>17744166
>Keep pushing then.

It's easier said than done. Everyday my dive to do well in school gets a little bit smaller. I find myself so miserable I just want to do nothing but sit around watching How I Met your Mother for the 10th time on netflix or some shit. I have no passion, nothing that really makes me happy at this point,

>>17744162
sorry anon

>>17744173

>It's easier said than done.

I know. Trust me, I know. The simplest things are the hardest, and the hardest things are impossible. People just don't get what it's like when I tell them I can't even take a shower every day because it's so normal to them.

>Everyday my dive to do well in school gets a little bit smaller. I find myself so miserable I just want to do nothing but sit around watching How I Met your Mother for the 10th time on netflix or some shit.


And it won't get any bigger on its own. Join a study group.

When I was in school, a few people approached me to join a study group for chemistry because I was me smarty pants. I had all the answers because to me it was easy. The following semester, I took a more advanced chemistry course, and wound up partnering with a girl with whom I fell in love. We studied together, I helped her with homework and labs, and she kept me grounded and gave me a reason to keep my head level and realize I knew less than I thought. She wound up. Dropping because she got accepted into another program and didn't need the credits. My work plummeted, and I am pretty sure the only reason I passed was because I did well on my final.

Motivation is like food. You need a steady source or you go hungry.

>I have no passion, nothing that really makes me happy at this point,

I wish I had something to say about this. I had the realization some time about just that. I wondered how people did all the things they did, and I realized it was passion. I never had it.

You're in college, proper college. You can do weird things and its ok. Make an big stupid sign that says, "Free talks" or something. Listen to other people and their problems. Maybe you'll find something that helps you. You learn more as a teacher than a student.

>>17744209
>Join a study group.
I have friends in class that I meet up with sometimes. Even then I'm seldom focused on my work. I have no idea what I'm going to do and the fact that seemingly everyone I talk too doesn't know either isn't exactly encouraging...

>Make an big stupid sign that says, "Free talks"

I wish I was ballsy/confident enough to do something like that

>>17744234

>sometimes

Consistency is the key. Are there any courses that you excel at? If so, send out one of those class emails saying you'll be in the library at such and such time. Even if no one responds, just go. If no one shows up, keep going. You don't have to actually study or do anything really. You never know. Someone might shown up looking for help. If they're relying on you, it might be motivation enough to do it even if you don't want to.

It was for me, though admittedly I flaked a few times.

>ballsy/confident

You don't have to be either of those things to listen. In fact, you don't have to do anything to listen. They're the ones doing the work. Who knows? Maybe you'll hear enough stories that you'll have advice for someone else who doesn't know what to do.

"Free ears - I just want to hear your story"

>>17744269
>Consistency is the key.

I mean I'm usually looking for help so I meet up with this group often

>You don't have to be either of those things to listen.

True, I guess I'd just feel super awkward

>>17744289

>usually often

Write down your times, then. It's weird, but tracking what you do is surprisingly therapeutic. I used to carry a small little notebook and pen with me at all times. I'd mostly write down what I ate because I was looking to lose weight, but I wrote down other things, too. Here's the kicker: I didn't even reread anything. It was just a thing that made me more self aware.

Maybe, you could try writing down whenever you feel unmotivated about something. Ask yourself why you don't feel like doing something and write it down. When you feel a spike in anxiety or whatever, write it down and ask yourself why and write that down too.

It might help.

>feel super awkward

Spoilers, you are. Who cares? It's college. 90% of you chucklefucks are awkward. You know who probably feels more super awkward? The people who don't want to talk to you. If someone else held up that sign, would you talk to them? Probably not. Most people won't. Guess who will, though. The people who need it because they can't talk to anyone else

I'm not saying you have to do it, but I am saying it would probably do you and a few people a lot of good.