I'm an idiot, help

Part 2/??

>>He gets flustered
>>Has gf still
>>I'm too drunk for life right now
>>Accept my stupidity and say our goodbyes
>>We generally stop talking
>>Thinking he hates me
>>Go through depression again, alone, can't eat much, just try to forget about it
>>Somehow he doesn't think I'm an asshole, we slowly get over it and we continue to be friends

Little did I know that I started something that I still to this day am confused about, getting to the point of this post...

>>We are alone, watch Zombeavers or some shit
>>Laughing our asses off at the cliches that a 1 star horror movie can provide
>>We get closer and closer together
>>nottothisushittoagen.jpg
>>He leans against me
>>I lean against him
>>Might have slipped his arm around me
>>Putting on the moves or I don't know what
>>Things getting weird but nothing happens really
>>Trying to keep chill because of last time
>>We just cuddle the rest of the time until he has to go
>>Go back to being normal friends again
>>Still unsure of what his intentions are
>>Figure it's just me being a dumbass as usual
>>We do more fun shit as we always do, he opens up to me
>>I like cuddling with him but no sexual stuff
>>He gets more comfortable around me
>>I try to keep my awkward feelings to myself
>>He showers at my place, have no shame in being naked around me
>>okay.jpg
>>Enjoy the view but keep it cool
>>Still get drunk together because we are dumb
>>Regularly see his dick, average but nice
>>Eventually move and stop seeing him but still talk here and there and we can talk forever sometimes
>>Just friends still to this day but still kind of flirt?
>>He likes my tits and how I'm funny etc.
>>Have feelings for him but he doesn't want a relationship with anyone after a bad off and on relationship

I hope he never sees this post but I am still not sure what to do.

Why does he treat me like this? I'm not upset by it, but I think about him a lot and I'm not sure how to feel. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing?

Keep maxing out comments. I don't want a relationship either as my past ones have been shitty too. But I would like to continue with what we have, just not have to feel awkward about it.

>>>He gets turned on, says stop crying and that I am making him hard
Sounds like an immature asshole.

>>17742567
I don't think you made it clear that you're into him. If I were him, I would just think you're a friend with some issues so you feel the need to let it out and cry about it with me, which is fine. Some of my friends are like this, we all have problems and comfort each other. Tell him that you love him in a way that can't be misinterpreted, either telling him directly or whatever.

>>17742574
Well, he kind of is. He's only just recently became an "adult". This is to be expected. I have had guys who seemingly have some type of crying fetish so maybe its that.

>>17742576
I don't want to call it love but I really do like him. But I don't want to scare him away. We're great friends and I miss him a lot. He says very sweet things to me and tells me he misses me and that he wants to hang out and all that when I am able to visit. I am scared to mess up a good thing.

>>17742585
>But I don't want to scare him away

Yeah see, that's the thing. From the way you typed it out, it seems like you had a ton of chances to confess your likeness for him without being creepy, but you ignored it or simply rejected it. You're the one who got yourself into this mess by the looks of things to be honest. Yes it can be scary to come out and tell him your true feelings, but it has to happen, at least if he rejects you (which doesn't seem likely, from what you typed out I'd say he really enjoys spending time with you), then you at least know. Muster up the courage and tell him straight, face to face. Stop playing mind games, it's only going to make it worse.

You sound just as immature as him, almost like you're trying to live through his ignorance and youth. You know that what you're doing it wrong as he has a girlfriend and there is no way he'll feel the same about you in a year. You're probably the first chance he has had to "play around" or experience having more than one woman interested in him and he's playing the game like an average young person does.

>Both nihilistic, both like the same music, we have fun together- driving around, doing stupid boring friend shit like going to the grocery store at midnight and acting like idiots, singing songs in the car that we find hilarious, watch lame movies, get drunk, the list goes on

Seriously, that first bit is so cringe and just goes back to what I was saying in the beginning. You need to grow up a bit and leave this alone, rather than fantasising about an unrealistic outcome.

>>17742597
Forgot to say he is single now. Sorry for the cringe. We just do normal friend shit? We both have depression and other mental health issues but nothing too bad. If that triggers you, you might want to hide this thread anon.

My replies won't go through. My internet is crap.

I forgot to say, he is single now, so no worries there. I'm visiting soon. I would like to talk to him about it face to face though. But he is my best male friend at this point and I don't want to mess up the good times we have. Especially now that it isn't completely fucked up to go further.