ITT: Worst Dating Experiences Bread

>Text a girl I know that recently broke up with her BF
>Gymnastics instructor, cute, bubbly
>Totally out of my league
>Actually agrees to go on a date with me
>I have absolutely no fucking clue what to do, I've never gone on a date
>Bring her to a fairly nice restaurant, we eat, people watch, it's kind of awkward as we never struck up real conversation
>What do you wanna do now anon?
>Can't bring her home because I still lived with my mom, would be fuckin weird
>Didn't think this far ahead
>We sit around in a parking lot, she's obviously very bored, I want to offer to just bring her home
>Suggest a movie instead
>We go see After Earth (god why)
>For some unfathomably reason I ask if she's paying for her own ticket
>Joke about how the movie was bad and drive her home immediately
>Don't speak to her again for four months
Only date I've ever been on. Huge reason I'm terrified to ask girls out is because I know it's going to be a repeat of that.

>>17740266
The trick anon is to not be scared of silence or awkwardness. Be confident in being able to laugh off awkwardness or things not going to plan.

(I cheat on my girlfriend. Get over it.)

>Be 26
>Meet 21 year old on Tinder
>Talk for a couple days, she sends me nudes
>She lives 30 minutes from my city, but she'll be near my school for a doctors appointment
>Ask if she'd like to meet at the mall right near my school. She does.
>I drop my girlfriend off for class, and rush over there
>I'm standing inside the mall, telling Tindergirl where I am
>she says she drove by and didn't see me
>I say I promise I'm here
>She says she is going to leave
>I say if she came all this way it would be a waste not to see eachother
>She says she doesn't believe I'm really here
>I send her a picture of me outside the mall, where I said to meet
>Then I see a girl sitting on her car in the parking lot
>I ask her if she is still here
>she says yes
>I ask if she is wearing a pink hoodie
>She says "It is a spirit hoodie, but yes thats me."
>I ask if she wants me to come say hi or if she wants to come inside the mall with me
>She says she doesn't know
>we text for like 15 minutes, while knowing very well the other is like a 30 second walk away
>I'm starting to get wierded out, thinking I should just leave. This is one of the weirdest meet ups I've ever had.
>I ask if she is nervous, she says yes
>I say "I'm nervous too." she says "nervous your girlfriend is going to find out?" touche, but I don't respond to that, just ask if she wants me to walk to her and say hi.
>she says its up to me
>in my head I'm like fuck this. I'm going back to the campus.
>as I'm walking to my car I take a second look at her and my dick gets a little hard so I'm like fuck it, pussy is pussy, right?
>we just chat in the parking lot. For the first five minutes she just stares at me blankly (even though she is wearing sun glasses) and making nervous gestures with her mouth
>I keep askign if she wants to go inside, she keeps saying "I'm fine out here."

Continues in the next post, if anyone cares.

>>17741067

>small talk in a parking lot can only go so far.
>tell her I have to get back to class
>She interjects, "you mean you have to get back to your girfriend?"
>blah blah I don't have a girlfriend, I promise
>So as I'm leaving I ask if she wants a hug
>she says "did you just ask if I want a hug?"
>I say, "just wanted to make sure you felt comfortable and safe" (she had that pepper spray shit on her keychain. I don't feel offended, there are a lot of creeps out there. Protection is good, but I also don't want to overstep anyone's boundaries
>"If you're going to do anything, you better do it quick," she says
>I decline and ask if she'll text me after her appointment.
>she says "we'll see"
>Then I walk away, confused as fuck.


The weirdest part? and this is why I don't get girls. She texted me first, right after her appointment. But only gave one word responses. Then she says "I just liked you a lot more than I thought I would, but I know you have a girlfriend and you're lying to me."

Then the next day she sends me a screenshot of my Facebook, which I thought I had private for this kind of reason. I tell her I don't go on facebook, thats old, we're broken up. She threatens to tell my girlfriend. I say "go ahead, she isn't my girlfriend." She doesn't say anything. Then I hit her with the "if you don't want to talk to me anymore, you don't have to." I don't reply for several hours then that night she begs me to come over. I drive 30 minutes to her place. We have sex. Then I stopped replying to her on text message.

Women are fucking crazy, bro.

Seems like it's the same for everyone:

>do the boring "go to dinner shit"
>not that into each other
>have smooth conversation, keep it going
>drive her home
>get a hug
>send some awkward texts
>never talk again

>get engaged to meth using cheating whore of a lady who has a 10 year old daughter

that was a pretty bad relationship...

>Go hang out with new neighbor girl
>go see fireworks on fourth of July on the beach
>she gets kind of close to me,nudges my shoulder
>she starts talking to me saying how she likes it when guys comfort her
>she "gets a bad headache"
>oh god she said those things for a reason
>put my arm around her trying to see if she's okay
>pushes my arm off of her,looks me dead in the eyes and says "Anon, no".

That was Pretty bad

Another one
>new girl hangs out with me
>she kind of pushes herself onto me,actually
>we go out for dinner
>she starts putting me down in every way possible
>calls my smile ugly
>takes a snapchat picture with me and tries making me "not look like a fucking creep" in editing until she just scribbles me out of the pic
>go home and cry

I left that date very sad. I feel that my lack of positive experiences in the field of romance have only left me more discouraged.

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>tfw never had a bad date
I'm very selective. I only had two dates in my life, both my became girlfriends later

>>17741132
you sure you don't make the second date worse than it was? Some people just are like that while trying to be funny. I am, and i almost never mean it. Trying to stop it, but it's not like i can change my character at wil.

>>17741243
Two different women. Turns out that hang outs afterwards let me know they were malicious characters

>>17741270
well, sucks for you man. Don't take it that heavy. If something like the second story ever happens to you again, hit back, but don't make it look like you mean it.

>>17741302
I'd rather not. If you're going to be a cunt like that, I don't think we should be involved with each other at all. I just try to not be a dick in life.

>>17741335
Fair enough, but don't sit it out. If you don't want to hit back at least make your date know you're not OK with it.

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>Dinner dates
wtf? You do this when you're married
>Movie dates
Nothing says romance like sitting in a crowded building quietly for 2 hours

Fuck me

If you're trying to just fuck then hangout at one of your place's, pop in a movie or movie music then smash

If you aren't autistic and have at least an ounce of testosterone in your system you'll get laid

As far as LTRs are concerned you should "date" her AFTER you've fucked her before, do shit like moving her from place to place (bitches love this sort of date, makes em feel like they're having an adventure). Do something actually fun that you can talk while you do it. Amusement parks, group dates, indoor rock climbing, go karting, dancing, concerts, athletic events, ice skating, etc for more extroverted/sensation seeking types. Introverts might prefer stuff like museums, aquariums, star watching, long walks, botanical gardens, bookstore-coffee shops, watching sunsets, billiards, arcades, comedy shows, etc.

Guys should take care to TELL the girl what you're doing and when. She's either going or she isn't. After you set the date ignore her calls. On the day of the date, change plans a few hours before to keep the anticipation/excitement level up.

The benefit of exciting dates is that you have more to talk about on the next date. I recommend fucking her before seriously dating because because women tend to be (not always) more attached post sex. If you establish that emotional connection and keep her heart pounding early on it will help real dates carry more emotional weight rather than "hurr hurr what your favorite color?" for an hour. Another benefit of exciting dates is that she'll begin to associate thrills and emotional intensity with you.

Guys, if she's nervous about the date that's to your advantage. Greet her with confidence, a double hand hold, and a kiss on the cheek. Ask how she's doing and other initial pleasantries (for fucksake don't try to be James Bond).

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>>17740252
>online dating
>get date
>turn up
>she's fat
>doesn't carry it well
>like she has backfat, are you kidding me?
>why are girls so good at photography?
>just go to a bar and act especially awkward and autistic for half an hour
>don't engage her in her shitty attempts at conversation
>say "I don't think this is going very well"
>she's relieved that I said what we were both thinking
>she leaves
>never see her again

Bad dates are natures way of telling you both that you're not right for each other. Use them to your advantage.

>>17741540
>Online dating
>actually expecting her not to be fat.

People are online for a reason anon, there's something wrong with them that they cannot get dates the real way.

idk, I haven't really been on a bad date. Granted I also have only been on like, 4 dates in my life.
Worst one wasn't even an "official" date, but I picked him up and when he got into my car he farted. I ignored it and pretended like I didn't hear it, but it really did just kill first impression. Didn't help that he was really fat so it was just kinda stereotypically comical lol.

>>17741570
>actually expecting her not to be fat.
I know I know...

Either they're:
uggo
fattie
single mothers
nice but live fucking thousand miles away
nice but have no time to see you because they work 70 hours a week.

>there's something wrong with them that they cannot get dates the real way
That's why I'm there too.

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Rule of thumb, dress in whatever makes you feel most confident. I pray to the blessed virgin mother of God that you have enough sense to realize that it should be appropriate as well (no fedoras, trenchcoats, fingerless gloves, or katanas). Don't immediately make for the place, stop for some chit chat THEN head to the location. If for whatever reason you stop for food or drinks ask her what she wants first, if she umms or uhs like an idiot order for her. Make it sound like you're suggesting it to her though. Unless she's a tumblrite she'll light up and agree.

Make sure you're the one leading the conversation. This will help provide the impression that you know each other better than you really do. I recommend multi-part dates where you lead her around. Makes you seem flexible and gives you three chances to show some dominance by saying "we're going to X". Please make it seem natural though or you'll look like a weirdo who plans dates (which is what we are doing, but let's assume you're the good guy). With practice you'll have routes planned across whatever major city you live near. Extra credit if you can get them from point A to point B EXTREMELY fast using public transport like train or subway. If for whatever reason you've gone out drinking then stick to cocktails, white wine, proseco, and shots. Sharing your drinks and taste testing will make it more memorable.

As far as conversations go for dates start off with what you do for a living, what's new, where you went to college, how you met mutual friends, etc. Nice and boring pleasantries. DO NOT FUCK THIS UP. The point of this level is to present yourself as a fucking mammal who breathes air and not a complete weirdo. For the love of God don't diverge. Start boring and work your way to something interesting. Slutty girls won't be too offended by upfront sex talk, but more defensive girls will be scared off. You'll have more success by transitioning while gauging comfort level.

>>17741623
Nobody asked for your shitty formulaic PUA dating advice, dipshit.

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>>17741623
Huh, for once someone on this godforsaken site has some damn good advice,
my only critique is the whole "We're doing X" thing. Idk what got it in dudes heads that demanding=dominance. I get you put "make it natural" problem is only 1 in every thousand dudes can actually pull a line like this off without us girls being like "ok who the fuck does this guy think he is telling me what to do?" even if deep down we do want to be told what to do to some degree.

Instead I think what you put above with the food "Make it sound like you're suggesting it to her" applies here too. Instead of "We're going to a movie now (whether you want to or not -the implied meaning)" I'd say its safer to say something like "Ah, have you seen X movie yet? I heard it's really good, let's go see it". You're still showing you're in charge since it was your idea, but that phrasing makes it sound at least a bit more like you actually care about her input. Though frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with just wording shit normally and asking "Wanna go see a movie?". Like in all honesty, most people are not nitpicking your word choice that much. You aren't going to get "dominance points" docked by asking for her opinion if you're confident overall.

Be careful using drugs with girls on first dates:

>Meet girl on OKC
>Meet up at cool campus that looks like hogwarts
>We take 100 MCG of LSD each
>She gets super quiet
>Gets paranoid
>Starts saying rude shit "Why the fuck did you park all the way over there?" "I don't want to talk right now."
>Starts writing in a notebook
>Ask her what's making her feel bad all of a sudden
>Says she had a bad dream last night and she's depressed
>Asks me to take her home
>Drop her off
>Drive home.
>Wtf m8

Another girl:

>Pick up girl from tinder
>She had "ganja goddess" in her bio..
>Offer to smoke a Joint
>She says yeah
>Brought a Raw cone filled with medical bud
>Smoke it with her
>She gets too stoned and starts tripping balls apparently.
>Stares at me for ten minutes
>Ask her why she's staring
>She doesn't say anything
>think she's fucking with me
>A few minutes later she says "Daniel??" My name isn't Daniel. Who is Daniel.
>With a frightened look on her face "Daniel?"
>she starts crying
>Stops crying and smiles at me
>Wtf
>More staring for ten minutes
>"Omg that was so embarrassing, I'm so sorry. I had a panic attack."
>No worries, want to get sushi?
>Lol sure

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Women LOVE guys who put them on emotional rollercoasters. Emotions to women are like smell for a dog. Doesn't matter if it's roses or feces, dogs need to smell things to be happy. But don't lay all the emotions on her immediately even if they're positive. It's all about escalation. Like foreplay. Start off cool and aloof. If you're introverted even better, she'll wanna unwrap the mystery if attraction has been established. As things move on it's okay to laugh a bit more (please don't smile like an idiot or howl with laughter, nothing dries up a puss faster than a smiling goofball). Stick to chuckling and smirking instead, like your son just told you that stupid ketchup joke. Keep in mind, just by agreeing to meet with you she's halfway invited you back to her heart. Let that be an encouraging thought.

As things get more intimate, remember the power of eye contact. All of you autists need to fight the instincts telling you to avert your eyes. Note I DO NOT advocate staring like a creep. When she wants a kiss just do it. Trying too early will scare her, and waiting to long will definitely hurt you more "aww well, guess he's not attracted to me". You need to strike when your gut tells you and she gives the signal.

Watch for her nostrils flaring combined with dilated pupils, if she touches you as well this is a great indicator, if she keeps touching you periodically even better. You may need to touch her lightly to get a touch back. She'll likely start licking, rubbing, or biting her lips unconsciously. If she faces you with open body language her face, chest, and even feet are facing you, her arms are by her sides (and not crossed as a “barrier” between you) then she is sending strong signs of interest. Also, if you notice she is comfortable standing close to you (so close that you are sharing the same personal space) when she doesn’t have to be that close, then it’s a very strong sign she is interested and would welcome a kiss.

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>>17741690
>Women LOVE guys who put them on emotional rollercoasters.
kek
weirdly though despite the trolly opener, most of this isn't too far off. The introvert thing is a matter of taste. Some women like it some don't. Same with the laughter thing, I'm not drying up from a dude who's not afraid to find something funny. Yeah don't cackle like a maniac but you can do more than just smirk. Honestly I'm probably gonna think a dude is smug if all he does is smirk and chuckle.

You have to be wary on body language though, everyone expresses it differently. Yeah, the touch thing is true to the majority of people, but the nostrils/pupil thing? Idk that shit sounds subjective, and frankly kinda weird to be looking for.
Like a commonly cited "sign of attraction" I see around here is the "she touches her hair" but frankly I do that on idle. I do it when I'm bored, when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm pissed, when I'm talking to a cute boy, when I'm talking to an ugly boy, when I'm talking to another girl, etc. I can see how any other "sign" like that can be similar for other people. Take it with a grain of salt.

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Rule of thumb, if you'd feel awkward with a male friend standing as close as she is then you're good. She's interested in some touching. Is she drinking in all your words? Shooting you with questions? (Not demands or interrogating you) Laughing at your unfunny jokes? Brilliant!

One common flirting pose is for a girl to put her arms behind her back, tilt her head, and lean towards you. Another gesture is when a girl shows her palms and begins gentle teasing. If she begins preening her hair or raising it from her neck for a moment you're doing well.

Beware folded arms, body leaning away, finger drumming, or blocking her face. She's tense or losing interest. Switch tactics. When you do kiss her make sure to put an arm around her waist, and don't rape her face please.

Avoid gloomy or overly serious topics. Dates are supposed to be fun. Don't talk about sports either. Just don't. Even if she's a tomboy. You'll thank me later. Don't use very long words needlessly, and don't drone on. Joke with her, especially banter. Let her know she's not on a pedestal and tease her. (Saint Michael watch over the poor souls who will take this to mean hurling deep personal insults at her in an attempt to be alpha). Banter is an art form, a dance between two minds. If you feel a definite vibe then the banter should be natural. This is why establishing a sexual relationship beforehand helps. Don't take her seriously, she's a little sister you're teasing (excuse the creepy example). And ALWAYS escalate the sexual tension.

No, you're not Ben the best buddy who just randomly felt like taking her out somewhere. You're Jason, the cool, cocky, and exciting guy who raises her heartbeat and makes her blush. Or if you're more introverted, Logan: the strong, silent, mysterious guy she's trying to unravel.

Escalation is king. If she mentions sex in any way shape or form she's already thinking about having sex with you. Call me a pig if you want but sex & carnal desire is 1/3 of an LTR.

>Find guy in club
>Drunk as hell
>Start making out
>Everyone sees
>We leave the club and go out on the town
>He's touchy the whole night, talkative
>First kiss desu, this was back when I was a teenager
>Find boy next day on Facebook
>Ask if he wants to go to the movies
>He seems neutral about the whole thing
>Think oh well, maybe he's just stoic
>Go to the movies
>He acts like he's alone at the movies, like I'm not even there
>Get out of the movies
>Stop outside and try to make small talk, not working
>Notice he's very robotic, just answers questions
>Not going anywhere, say goodbye
>Find out later from school mates that he is the 2nd biggest autist in our year

Why you shouldn't pursue or hook up with someone without knowing their reputation first. I still cringe over having pursued him.

>be 17
>be virgin
>be getting into Tinder, constantly horny
>get talking to a reasonably good looking chick, half decent body etc
>flirtatious, quickly escalates to dirty talk
>"anon, come to my yard"
>assume "yard" is just her using dated street vernacular for "house"
>address is in rural village a train ride away from me
>still not piecing it together
>turn up practically shaking, we're meeting purely to fuck
>she has a neckbeard and smells funny
>takes me to the "yard"
>caravans and mattresses everywhere and scrawny cats roaming around
>family is "traditional", have to pretend to be her gay best friend visiting from her old home town
>go inside, meet family
>"so anon, have you ever been in a travellers' home before?"
>ohshitwhathaveidone.jpg
>"so anon, where did you used to hang around back in [hometown]"
>"t-the a-arcade?"
>me and girl leave
>go for walk in the fields
>decide to pretend I'm a full autist to defuse any sexual tension
>start telling her which Beatle played which guitar solo on each track
>describe the Apollo 1 fire to her in gruesome detail
>"anon...do you have friends?"
>confirm I do have friends
>"are they like you?"
>feign family emergency, get best friend's grandpa to pick me up
>turns out in the Traveller community, you must marry the girl whose virginity you take under the pain of death

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The other 1/3 is commitment. I call this stirring the eggs. As in you could just watch this person stir eggs in the morning and think to yourself "I can't comprehend life without this person being there". Does this person worry if you ate today? Do they do kind things without being asked? Are you the only one who supports the other for anything?

The other 1/3rd is emotional connection. Does this guy satisfy your emotional desires? Can you rest your head on him and feel like all is right in the world? Can you tell him anything? Does your heart still pound like crazy when you're together?

An LTR with commitment and emotion but no sexual passion results in either cheating or being one of those sad couples who haven't touched each other in months, maybe years. Would your children and grandchildren be horrified to learn what STILL happens in the bedroom? You're on the right track


If you have passion and emotions but no commitment you'll end up like one of those foolish couples who have whirlwind romances that elope and then realize "oh shit what now?".

A relationship with passion and commitment but no emotional satisfaction results in divorce. Nobody wants to feel like they don't matter. Sometimes you just want to fall into someone's arms and feel like everything is gonna be OK. Do you still take time out to just talk? Enjoy each other's company?

Just food for thought

If you are going home together keep escalating. Groping, kissing, all that.

If you're strong enough pick her up (bridal style). Do this slowly. And maintain eye contact (again don't fucking stare). Throw or place her on the bed depending on her temperament.

And rip off her clothes. Not literally RIP them but you get the idea. I'm assuming you've brought along protection.

I think I'm digressing from dating and drifting into sex so I'll offer some advice for the girls.