Love Sucks

This is me

This is me

This is me

>>17737278

Do you have a life outside of your girlfriend? Friends, hobbies, a job? When you have little going on in your life it's easy to get obsessed with our partners, but it's not healthy at all.

>>17737313
The only hobbies I have outside of her are playing vidya rarely, working out, and thats it.No Job and I do go to school, so when I am there it makes it easier. I am also nervous shell leave me when I go to bootcamp in a few months. If she does that will fucking destroy me.

>>17737278
Normal to get wrapped up in shit so relax. You're seeing videos and snapchat's of what's going on anyway so its not like she's gone dark. How much longer is she away for the event? Knowing she was gonna be away you should have scheduled things for yourself so you don't sit around and obsess all day.

>>17737278
I used to be in the same exact situation as you. All I thought about was my girlfriend (who I'm still with) and it, too, started to really take a toll on me. It was hard to constantly have her in my head because then I had trouble enjoying and focusing on other things and being independent. It was as if she was constantly taking up a space in my head and there was nothing I could do about it. I also thought about the same things you did (fear of cheating, finding someone better, etc.) However, now I am completely relaxed about the relationship and I don't get any anxiety from it anymore.

This might seem weird but I don't know exactly what advice to give you because I am not sure why I changed, but I do want to try to help you. I can relate to how you feel so I understand it's not exactly in your control to just change your mindset and feelings for the better. It's just happening and you can't really stop it and it's hard. You're aware that you have a problem but you don't know what to do to help it.

When I felt like this I did explain some of it to my girlfriend. I explained that I felt overly obsessed with her which was causing me anxiety. However, as I said that, I made sure to also say I'm aware that this is a problem and that it's not causing me to do anything bad. I recognize that I'm being irrational. Having conversations with her helped a lot, and at least for a few moments after the conversations I was at ease because I was reassured. However, I constantly relapsed after an hr to a few days. I didn't know how to stop it, but it made me feel good that at least she knew I was having a difficult time.

Over time, (many months) I began feel more confident in myself. I stopped caring about things like my acne and other stuff I saw as imperfections. This gave me confidence and I think it somehow started alleviating the obsessiveness and anxiety and worries.

>>17737327
2/2
Overtime I also started feeling like I could be independent without her if she were to leave me. I dealt with the idea that it's possible I will lose her someday but there isn't really much I can do about it - it will be her decision if it happens. I've began relaxing overall and I'm now completely different. I'm pretty sure what I experienced was depression and it was an absolutely wonderful (it felt magical to be loved by her and to be with her) and absolutely horrible (anxiety, worries, mood swings, etc.) experience. I don't want to experience it ever again and I feel like I'm now prepared to defend myself if I ever notice myself falling in that trap again.

People are already telling you to take up hobbies and do things on you own. You should do that. I told you my story because I hope you can relate to it and see that it's possible to beat those bad feelings and not feel them again. Please hang in there and do things on your own. Don't try to find out what she's doing if it irrationally worries you she might be doing something to hurt you. Just do your own thing when you want to. It was hard for me to enjoy things because she was constantly in my head. If you can relate to that, then you just gotta try. Go for a walk too if it's a nice day. Walks are pretty great. Don't feel like your life is surrounded by her. Instead, feel like she is just a part of your life. It'll make things much easier.

Hope it works out for you man and that this post eased the stuff you're experiencing at least a little bit.

>>17737345
>>17737327
Thanks bro, this has honestly made me feel better. I am going to try to accept that if she leaves me it happens, and try to find new hobbies and get a part time job.

>>17737414
Not the other guy but you got the right idea. The sooner you accept it the easier it is. Took me about a week to finally accept her decisions. Did literally everything in my power to save the shit, but to no avail.

Hey OP, if you show her this side of you, YOU WILL RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Trust her, chill out, busy yourself with something else. Jesus christ, it's embarrassing for you to be so clingy.

>>17737414
I'm glad it made you feel better, though it might be temporary. Be sure to keep checking other responses to this thread because I just wrote out my opinion and what I learned. Others might have different insights. If a response is negative don't let it bring you down because I'm sure you're aware it's much easier said than done. Just don't give up and hang in there and try your best to relax and also keep recognizing that you're being irrational (some people are unable to do this and end up hurting their partner or believing their paranoia).

>>17737500
Also, 7cups.com. I used this website a lot when I needed to talk to someone.

>>17737278
Mate, I am in similar situation.
Had a girlfriend for almost 3 years.
It was a relationship through distance, and she was the most beautiful part of my emigration. We talked almost everyday through skype.
I was concerned every time she was going out, or did not text me. But she was always reassuring me that i am the only one. However I always had doubts and was doing stupid thinks just to show here I am still around even though I am in different country. Was texting here, sending her love messages, was concerned about every situation that was involving other man.
We kind of broke up month ago, after we disscused the feeling, and that I feel like 100% more involved in it... She just said that she is giving up, and that "I am whiny bitch" (which was kinda true).
I do know that I was really obsessed with her. It hurts... loosing somebody like her, however I am trying to see some opportunities in it, trying to find some hobbies, do some sport, meet some new cool ppl (and ladies ;) ). Maybe It wasn't meant to be.
The worst part in all that, is when you are by yourself. You have to keep your head busy, read books, play games if you like them, talk to ppl. If those thoughts are really stuck in your head and you cannot stop thinking, write them down, it really helps... If she really loves you, you should not be concerned. Just calm down, and keep going. I have heard from some of my lady friends, that it is better when men is a motherfucker at the beggining, you should not show too much feelings and try not to be too romantic. Then when both of you get "established" together, you can be as romantic and obsessed about her as much as you want.

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>>17737640
Well said. I got over mine by telling myself why should I care about her if she doesn't care about me? If she doesn't have intentions on saving it why the fuck am I going to mope around and try to resurrect the relationship? No one deserves that mental abuse. I'd shes happier without you be happy for her, making someone stay in a relationship with you is unethical, I realized that after all my failed attempts to figure out what was going on with her. You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Overall I'm sad, but still really happy. Still fucked her, still had disgustingly disturbing kinky sex, and at the end of the day isn't that all that really matters? I'm still the same person, now with more experience under my belt.

>>17737278
> too obsessed with her
Basically this, and that's not love but dependence.

>>17737714
Exacly, It is true. Of course break ups are very painful... However they are giving one of the most important lessons in life. I am struggling to stop thinking about her every day, but I also think that I am getting stronger and learning something new.
The truth is, you can always keep in mind a beautiful moments, and tell the other half that, you loved her/him, but have to move on right. She probably knows that you loved her, and If she loves you she might want you back, and you will probably know that one day!

>>17737640
This post is not written by a 4chan user. Jesus fuck.

>>17737739
how can u tell? xD

>>17737731
Thinking about her is normal. It's like dropping a drug cold turkey you best believe you're going to have withdrawal symptoms like a mother fucker. I've been having dreams about her every other night for a week. Waking up from them is indescribably painful, you won't know how it feels until she you've experienced it tho I wish it upon no man. The realization that shortly follows after it is equally painful but only last a few seconds. Thinking about that brief moment after you wake up, but before you wake up and realize the difference makes me tear up on site. Fuck me I'm human.