How to tear down this person's wall?

It's a lost cause, mate. And next time don't fucking "confess your feelings". Just ask her out or something.

>>17737265
>Or do you think I am wrong?

This one.

If she "needs to realize her feelings", that's her personal journey. You don't need to butt in.

>>17737265
maybe she has issues woth you getting too close, so try keeping it cool and casual

>>17737285
This. If someone isn't ready to (want to) date you, that's all you need to know. It's extra shitty if you have reasons to believe that lack of feelings is not the issue here, but there's nothing you can do/change about that for her.

For the record, I have done this with a person because I was nowhere near emotionally ready to date someone. It's been seven years and I am still not ready and have never dated anyone. It is not that extreme for most people, but it could be, you don't know how deep her issues run...

>>17737285

I am not trying to butt in. But I don't think it will be good for her in the long run to have this wall.

I mean, sure, I won't deny I am also partly interested in it. But it's for her own good at the end and as her friend I would like to help her.

>>17737288

Already doing that. We're cool now. Thanks tho.

>>17737303

As someone that is the same as the person I described, any tips you can give apart of what you already have said? (I appreciate it, don't get me wrong)

>>17737324
> But it's for her own good at the end and as her friend I would like to help her.

Do you know what a "savior complex" is?

You want to "fix" her and expect pussy in exchange. That's very, very selfish.

If you really "love her as you said in OP, then leave her alone to figure herself out.

>>17737324
It is hard to give good specific tips not knowing what's going through her head. But what I would advise you is to take a bit of distance. It's counter-intuitive but here's the thing: you don't want her to grow comfortable with you being her "kind of" boyfriend, without needing to make the commitment leap. By providing things to her like a listening ear at all times, company whenever she feels like seeing you... it could turn into a sort of, why buy the cow situation.

What you want to do is invest more in other stuff. Be friendly to her as always but not as chummy. Sit with other people more. When she catches on, tell her that it's nothing personal, you just need some space to adjust to the new reality of her not being romantically interested in her.

IF there is a part of her that wants to be with you, it'll awaken once she realizes it is very possible that she all around loses you otherwise. Not if you remain comfortably close to her.

Also, force yourself to pay attention to other girls to keep yourself sane. Don't do it so much that it looks like you're making her jealous - in fact it doesn't even need to be flirting or whatever. Just actively reminding yourself that other women exist and can be pretty cool, too.

>>17737265
you are in love and it is unrequited. Not the first guy or girl this has happened to. You can try to rationalize this all you want but it doesn't change a thing. She told you honestly there is nothing there and you need to let this go.

>>17737330

I know what it is but I think you misinterpreted my words. I don't want to help her just because I want pussy in exchange, I want to help her because she's my friend. Even if she finds another man that would be fine with me but I don't want her suffering because of this particular problem.

I plan to leave her alone to figure out, I was just asking for some advice.

>>17737337

That is actually some pretty cool advice and I was planning to do some part of it already but thanks, I will follow it.

>>17737340

Well if that's how it is it can't be helped. But it doesn't hurt to try other ways.

>>17737353
>Even if she finds another man that would be fine with me but I don't want her suffering because of this particular problem.

Let's hope that's true. Because given she already rejected you once, even"tearing down her wall" will probably not end up with you two together.

>>17737356
I don't have any reason to lie to you, anon.

But we'll see. Thanks for all the advice.

>>17737368

I don't think you are lying to me. I think you are lying to your yourself.

Hey /adv/ i need one advice to.

I'll keep it short.

Meet Girl on Party, talked , made photos and than we started kissing.
She asked me for my phone number and left.
Friends told me that she had tears of joy?!?! wtf
Her friends told me that i shouldn't write today and wait.

I want to write her tommorow and i wanted to ask her out.
What do you think i should do?

>>17737378

Wait,, she asked for your number or you asked for hers?

How are you going to write her if she is the one that has your #?

Some people on this thread suck.

>>17737384
She asked for my number.

Took it and called me once so i can safe hers.

>>17737389

Oh, ok. As you made a point of saying "She asked me for my phone number and left." it was kind of weird.

I don't think it will be wrong to write the next day, as long as it's casual and you have something to talk about that is not going out.

Maybe she took some pics on her phone and you can ask her to send them to you? Or you have pics in yours to send to her?

Something simple.

You can wait, too. That's not wrong. Just make sure you make some small talk before asking her out.

>>17737398
Would it bei weird if i talk a bit about the photos and ask her if we can take pictures that are nicer where we are both not drunk?

And what location is the best to ask her out?

>>17737369

Nah, I'm tired of lying to myself. I decided to be honest with my feelings, that's why I told her all.

>>17737388

Why? lol

>>17737409

>And what location is the best to ask her out?

This is not "Baby's First Date". We don't know what you like, what she likes, whether any of you work, how much money you have available, etc.

That one you have to figure out yourself.

I will say that the thing about drunk photos is kinda risky. You should know her sense of humor better than us, so if you think she'll go for it, go ahead.

>>17737422
Thanks for the advice mate.

God bless you.