Breaking up with someone you love

>>17736794

There is no easy way, just tell it how it is and end things. If you say you have to then there must be a good enough reason likely going to benefit both of you in the long run, do it knowing that moving forward you can both find happiness.

Be honest, be direct, do not negotiate. Tell them you love them but you have to. Understand that there's no way to do it without hurting them. Just hurt them and get it over with.

What is your reason if you don't mind saying?

>>17736817

I'm curious as well, loving someone enormously tells me it's somehow the fault of the other person which should give a pretty clear reason to break up if they were unfaithful/don't feel the same about you.

It's selfish really. He's 28 years older than I am and I fear the future, the lonely last 28 years of my life.

He's been perfect. We've had the most beautiful time together.

But someone from my past, someone I have the opportunity to have a greater quality of life with has come along.

I sat with my boyfriend today and couldn't stop crying. And to make it worse he was lovely about it. He's not the kind of guy to go actively searching for a girlfriend either, we came together accidentally, so I fear he'll be lonely if I leave him and that breaks my heart. That's a real possibility. His last gf before me was a decade ago.

It's just so painful.

There is a third option. Asexuality.

>>17736826

Tricky call to make, if you are still in love with this person which it seems you are it will be hard to move on to a new partner. He could live to 100 and you could live to 72 for all you know, I'd really think about it a lot and even discuss it with him in detail, see what he thinks too.

The dilemma makes me sick. I can't get out of bed or stop weeping.

If I told him that someone else had come along he'd hide into a shell and never come out again. And I'd understand why. Just thinking about the possibility of dating another guy, to me, feels like I'm betraying my boyfriend. He's say "Whatever makes you happy" and not say anything else. Right now I'm miserable at the thought of losing him.

>>17736838

With that new bit of information it seems like this other guy has coming along has been the driving factor for the break up, I mean before he came along you weren't planning to break up were you? Ultimately you need to do what will make you the happiest, you can't stay with someone out of worry and pity, and you also shouldn't leave someone if your only problem is age, assuming he's not incredibly old already you can still have a very long and happy life together.

>>17736826
So your bf is older than your daddy? How old are you and how long have you been together with this other guy that raised you? Anyway it's time for you to leave nest.

Boyfriend is 10 years younger than my father...

>>17736855
but still he is easily old enough to be your father and is a surrogate. Seriously, you are feeling the same angst leaving home and making your own way in life, finding a partner and living. It's obviously time but is this guy from the past your age?

>>17736826
Older guys with young women know the young woman will ultimately leave

True. But I don't see it that way. We've always been on the same page intellectually. The age difference only shows on the surface. The guy from my past is my age. But with work he travels a lot. He's invited me to go along with him for a couple months. But that scares the hell of me. Moving away from friends to stay with a guy that I haven't seen in years, destroying my current relationship... what if it doesn't work out?

True - old enough to be father. Surrogate - absurd.

>>17736870
I wouldn't go with this guy from the past that has resurfaced even if you weren't in a relationship. Too many unknowns and you are the one taking all the risk.

Just stop talking to the blast from the past however it has uncovered something you will have to address. There is something amiss in your relationship. I understand loving the man and feeling responsible for his happiness but it is not selfish of you to question how you want to live the rest of your life and with whom.

>>17736888
Thank you