Femdom sex issues

it seems to me that you rushed things quite a bit.

>>17734109
its been about 7 months, and i know. we both love each other, were just not seeing eye to eye on sex. you think 7 months is too rushed? thanks :)

>>17734145
If you want him to be happy then just do that stuff once in a while. If you can't even do that on a regular basis like once a week/month then maybe you don't really love him

>>17734145
personally I think moving in together before a year is rushed. Might just be me though

>>17734152
i also dont know how though. i guess im afraid of inadequacy and failure in something ive never done before. at the same time, i wouldn't expect something from someone i love that made them uncomfortable.

>>17734154
thats fair. and we probably would have benefited from it too.

>>17734152
>If you can't even do that on a regular basis like once a week/month then maybe you don't really love him
That's bullshit. It's literally guilt-tripping people into sex.
What if your girlfriend asked you to get butt fucked by a BBC and then went "If you don't let a black dude tear your asshole apart once a week since I have a fetish for gay interracial sex then maybe you don't really love me"?

>>17734079
What things are you okay with? What makes you feel uncomfortable?

>>17734176
Well said.

>>17734180
I'm afraid of looking stupid, for one, or "not doing it right."
It honestly doesnt turn me on at all (it would the other way around).
I like my men manly... I have no desire to take his manhood. i sound like a bitch but im just not into it, id be willing to try because i do love him, i definitly wouldnt enjoy it though.

>>17734196
You don't sound like a bitch, everyone is into different stuff and it doesn't make you a bad person to not like what your boyfriend likes.

Try maybe to take small steps and explore how things are. Maybe instead of focusing on humiliating him (which is a big turnoff for me too, I can understand it) you could try to be more active? For example facesitting isn't something too humiliating, or being on top, or teasing him. Or something small like making him ask the permission to come.
There are a lot of small things you can do that are into the "gentle" femdom kind of stuff and still aren't humiliating. Perhaps that'd be enough for him.

Is he okay with focusing just on the fantasies when he's a dom? Like you being a little girl or the rape fantasies? Do you think you could do them?

I wouldn't have considered myself a dom when I met my husband. I always fantasized about submissive stuff. But he was very submissive and loved to be dominated, so I figured I'd try it out. And while it wasn't my fetish or anything, I still decided to give it a shot.

I didn't start by jumping into the deep end. It's easier to start small. Take control over a kiss, move his body where you want it to go, grab his hair, things like that. It was a little weird, but I didn't mind it, and he loved it so much that I enjoyed myself just seeing his reaction.

It took a while to get comfortable, but I found a dom style that worked for me. I'm naturally a pretty gentle person so instead of going for the "beat you and degrade you" route, I went for the "I know what's best and I'm in control" route. But I also can have a bit of a michievous streak, so I channeled that into things like teasing and edging. By finding a way to align his fetish with things I enjoyed and was comfortable with, we found a happy middle ground that we both really like.

And while I still enjoy being submissive, I now enjoy being a dom and will dominate him quite frequently, and our sex life is great.

So, I suggest you pick the aspects you like and give it a try. Again, you don't have to go extreme the first time, and frankly you shouldn't. Take it slow, take your time, ease into it. You might enjoy it more than you expect. And if you try something out and don't like it, then scratch it off the list. But as you get more comfortable you will likely find that you consider things you wouldn't have when you started and find yourself enjoying them.

Okay anon, I'm a girl, also not a dom but my boyfriend is into some femdom type stuff (also has a weird rape fantasy).

What you could do is just experiment and figure out where the line goes, if you're not comfortable with something be vocal about it.
Just think about how far you're willing to go, and talk to him about how much he needs from you to be happy. If you can't figure out something sexual that works for both of you it might be kinda shitty in the future, but remember there's a lot of guys into this and not that many girls into it, so I think he might understand.

If you want I can give you examples of what you could do but I'm kinda trash and like the whole little girl sub thing so I might be fucked up and not know how far normal people are willing to go.

>>17734196
Don't think about it like taking his manhood, if you don't like that thought. He's not less of a man for being submissive. He can still be manly as fuck inside and outside the bedroom.

Instead, frame it in a way that is appealing. By him making you orgasm first, he is taking care of you. By you being in control, you have this sexy and powerful male who is yours alone. He is not less of a man, you are just a powerful woman. Things like that.

By changing how you think about it, you can make the idea more appealing.

>>17734176
explain how your scenario is in any way a fair comparison to private heterosexual fantasies within a hetero couple that the op described

>>17734228
The concept was that you're not a sex toy for your partner and you're not obligated to put up with things that make you unhappy just to make them happy.That both people should like and feel engaged in what they're doing and the idea of pushing yourself into something that makes you feel bad out of love ruins relationships.

OP is a person, she has feelings, and her job isn't getting her boyfriend off. Get over yourself.