Honesty

Hi! I make a point of not lying, ever, except in the most extreme circumstnaces. Moral reasons and all that. Funny thing is, I'm known as the devious trickster among my friends, since I say outrageous truths with a smile on.

>>17732956
Do you ever feel like your life could've been a lot better if you were to disregard your honesty in order to get what you wanted?

>>17732948
Well first of all, "everybody lies" and no one is perfect.

Second: do you genuinely care for your fellow man, friends and family?
If so, doing what you feel is right while considering the impact of your actions will only be good for you and those you love.

Last, realize that lying is done to escape consequence. Again, no one is strong enough to bear all things every time, but every little bit helps. The more problems you accept and personal responsibility you acknowledge, the more powerful your self-mastery will be.

>>17732971
Don't really need to lie. You don't need to lie to get people to think what you want them to think. You can do the same with the truth, as long as it's said im the correct way, at the correct time. It makes the game more interesting, in a way.

>>17732976
I care about everyone, even those who hurt me. I do so because I feel that people who hurt others are just broken in some way and need help getting fixed. The reason I'm questioning my unheeding honesty is because I see that it has brought me almost nothing but suffering.

What is self-mastery good for?

>>17732979
How old are you? Where are you in your life? And most importantly are you happy where you are in your romantic life?

>>17732948
I don't like to lie,and actually I prefer to tell the truth than telling lies in order to look nice to others. But I still believe that sometimes if I had lied (not for something important) my family for example would be more happy. But still I hate being a liar.

>>17732971
What is "better"?
I am five years separate from my brother, and out of his life now. When we were little, mom would make us these big german pancakes with sugar and lemon, and due to oven size one was usually better cooked than the other.

Whenever time came to choose who got what, I would pretend to like the worse one and he immediately would choose that. At the time I thought he was deliberately trying to screw me over, and thus lied to him to get the better pancake. He probably was, but that's not what I remember.

He looked to me to make truth of the world, and I let him down by using it as an opportunity to take something from him that looking back, I couldn't care less about. I did teach him something though, once he wised up after eating enough black pancakes.

Years back, I saw him do the same thing to my youngest sister, the frame of position reversed. It struck me then the consequence of having someone trust you, and instead of using that freely given trust to make good, I made evil, even something as small as lying for pancakes.

This is the truth of the matter OP, no matter how much you lie: people are watching. Every action you take has the chance to create good in a world that has so little, or evil where there is far too much. Your choices DO matter, even if it's only a drop in the jug.

>>17732983
Self-mastery is control over your actions and if not the most moral human trait, it is the most human one which separates you from an animal. A million books over two thousand years will tell you it is worth achieving.

In your context, the argument was that lying=avoiding consequences, and that Self-mastery=control over your actions. The idea is that if you do what you want to to the best of your ability and focus, you have control over the consequences without distorting truth and thus have no reason to fear them, because they are what you worked for in the first place.

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436KB, 498x516px

If you want to see what the buddha had to say on this:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.061.than.html

>>17733020
How do you deal with the ever so abundant liar?

>>17732990
27, working in finances and building a solid career, single for now but not worried about it

>>17733086
Have you had good relationships in the past? Was your partner dishonest with you? If so, how did you deal with it?

>>17733052
Why do you need to deal with them?

Truth will dissolve lies easily enough, but not remove the reasons for the lie or the person who was okay with lying in the first place. Dealing with that root cause could mean removing the need to lie, but that will require constant effort and still does not fully eradicate the source.

With the exception of saints and heroes, everyone will lie for different reasons, some we may agree with. Protecting the innocent from power, all that good stuff. The trouble often comes when people lie for selfish reasons, one less for you means one more for me.

It seems to me that to "deal" with those people is to literally make a deal. Compromise, find some way to reach common ground. Establish respect, humility, and concern for mutual well-being. The key part about needs is that often they are subjective, wants are far more common than needs. Putting yourself in the others shoes and vice versa, because at the root is a need that is almost universal, respect.

Sometimes people don't want to empathize, and would still rather steal than compromise. In this case, it remains that they cannot defeat truth with lies. No matter how strong the house, it will collapse if built on unstable ground.

>>17733048
They have a point, even if the 3x3 structure gets on the nerves.

>>17732948
stay honest it works out in the end. I'm horribly honest and while causing awkward and uneasy moments at times. it will get you real friend who respect you and you will have better relationships if youre honest