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>be in a bdsm Group
>during drinks night, meet a girl that chats with you all night
>later, in a chat, she complains nobody wants to *play* with her
>last time we were chatting on line, she kept uploading nude pics
>so I decide to approach her
I consider the following:
>90% of the ppl in the bdsm community value consent and the planning of most extreme games. This doesn't mean all sessions have to be scripted... But it means to have clearly in mind what other people want.
>consent is paramount
>people in a bdsm community don't want beta losers around who use bdsm just as an excuse to fuck
>instead, they value people who feel pleasure also in the practice itself
Therefore,
>I ask her if she's interested in a play session
>She tells me that, for her, play sessions are dumb because she cannot think of bdsm as separated from sex
>this means we're on the same page. Actually, I had thought most people in the group thought this.
>however, I'd like to know some things before even proposing some activities. Again, I don't wanna script anything, just make sure I don't wanna scare ppl off or punch someone in the face just to realize it was not what they wantedy
>she tells me she's not interested
>and anyway she doesn't like to script things
>she's not in an exclusive relation but is not looking for play partners
>she doesn't want to script but wishes for things to develop "naturally"
>not really into this "consent" thing. You're unable to foresee her desires unless you already have a relationship with her.
[1] mfw the woman who posts naked pics and declares herself a slut turns out to be interested in bdsm only as the evolution of a romantic relationship.
[2] mfw I avoided to hit on her in the traditional way just because I thought it was frowned upon in the kink scene
mfw I realize I'll never drag her by the hair and force her to drink from the toilet as I hate-fuck her arse.
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>>17729243
"What went wrong?"
I don't get the question. She is not into the same shit as you, and as far as I can tell, she won't jell well with most people in the community.
What's the question?
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It was probably for the better OP, she sound like she have been reading too much 50 Shades of Grey to be any fun anyway. She would probably run away crying if she knew what you wanted to do to her.
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>>17729243
BDSM group or not, you still have to basically treat people like people. Typing out a list of kinks and "activities" to someone you've never slept with is not sexy or exciting, it kind of sucks all the fun out of it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't value consent, it just means you shouldn't try to preemptively get consent for every single fantasy you want to try before you've even touched each other.
Take it slower in the future. Ease your way into conversations like this. Start off with something a little more like a normal date
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>>17729282
I'm not OP, nor I'm in the BDSM community, but I'm pretty sure a little talk about limits is pretty much a "must".
And she was talking about how she likes to fuck, too. It's not like he sprung it on her either.
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>>17729243
Shady hoe.
Good thing you didn't get involved desu.
Personally I've been involved in kink for over 10 years now and it's a giant red flag if people don't at very least humour the consent and boundaries talk before any kind of play. Sounds like she's just tacking BDSM on herself as a coolness indicator to get laid and be an abusive cunt.
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