I am hopeless.

>>17727602
just be a slut

The first thing I notice is that you say you're "hopeless." Where is this coming from? Who is to say that being a "romantic" is a negative thing, as I feel like you're suggesting?

It sounds like you're concerned with appearing desperate, but want to- at least- get to know people in your area. What if you were to focus upon this, instead of this one guy you met two nights ago?

>>17727607
What will that give me? Why do that? I don't really care for sex for the orgasm or what ever. I crave the fantasy of hopes, the giddiness or getting to know someone, loving them and doing cool stuff with them ;_; I just.. I mean some people love sex for just sex and I guess that's fine but I just don't understand it.

>>17727629
Well I was really into him, is all... and I mean I am hopeless because I tend to see everything is such rose-tinted glasses all of the time.
I am trying to meet more people, yes. I downloaded tinder.

Tinder.

I mean, come on. And I am shy around guys and can't be myself. And everything just isn't what I thought.

And the sad thing is I feel this is all so.. childish of me. I'm beginning to realize people don't see the things the way I do, or vice versa. People think girls have it easy, but when it comes to .. what? Sex? That's it? I'm beginning to realize most men just want sex, and MAYBE a relationship if the girl is cool.

And I'm not looking per-se for a relationship right away. I really am not. I just want to get to know people but it all feels so.. perverse, disgusting, and there is a motive on others' minds that I didn't genuinely realize was always there.

:/

>>17727629
Also in my experience, and many of yours as I've read, it always seem like the "genuine pursuer" (aka the one who is pursuing someone for genuine feelings, not just "hehe I'm suave and going to use my charms to manipulate this person for this or that thing") gets fucked over.

>>17727646
>don't really care for sex for the orgasm or what ever.
Sounds like a personal problem.

He probably wants to smash it and leave it, either skank it up or don't. You can do coke but you can't make this basic decision? Time to reevaluate your capabilities.

>>17727660
>personal problem
how do you mean?
I mean if you want a guaranteed orgasm with no fuss just masturbate. Getting physically intimate can bring a lot of trouble and seems strange for the sake of getting off, to me. So yes it is my personal feelings, but I have met people who feel the same way (both men and women) although maybe it was coming from a conservative place.

>you can do drugs but can't decide if you want to skank it up or fuck off

u wot m8? Coke is easy you just snort it and bam. I think one of us is missing something here, or misunderstanding.

I guess I was hoping for a glint of hope that maybe I gave him mixed signals, that I shouldn't assume, etc.

>>17727670
Well if you wanna be lonely jerkin off on your own be my guest, youre the one downloading tinder. Seems more like mixed signals for yourself. Like the other anon said if you were interested in other peps and not potential romance (which this clealry is not) you'd be looking them up.

How can you snort coke but you can't make a simple decision about a generic handsome guy who
>Took a girl to his friend's place after some coke
>Tried to get you to 'talk' in the bathroom
>Didn't wait for you and was going to bait you into coming to him

Like, honestly, Anon, I can't even right now.

>>17727670
Oh shit and I forgot
>Swapped Snapchats cuz like totally not gunna try and swap nudes with you or anything
I think you may have given him mixed signals but I dont think he was putting out what you were looking for.
I don't know why you'd get coked and look for love but to each their own.

>>17727646
I wonder then: what is it that you thought?

Also, it sounds as though Tinder is not an ideal option for you. What alternative ways can you think of meeting someone, anyone, if that's your goal?

>>17727658
I'm sorry this has been your experience recently. Do you feel as though this applies to everyone, that it's a general rule that pursuing a relationship leads to people being "fucked over" every time?

>>17727682
;_;
I.. I told you I was hopeless.
To be fair my friend was sharing some of her coke with them, too. Not like they offered us coke in the first place.
.. Maybe he thought I left?
>>17727684
Well I wasn't expecting to look for anything but just having a fun time meeting people and being silly that's it.

>>17727686
I thought people crush on each other the way, and get kind of gitty and shit just not overtly sexual until they see them naked. Maybe. I thought MOST men hoped for love and not random hookups, and that most men didn't look up to players. That bad guys were really rare, and cheating and stuff was rare.
I thought the handsome, charming, lovely fellows were like in the cartoons.
I thought most relationships, while some work is expected, would turn out okay in the end... like my parents have so far.

idk to be honest. I don't know who to trust anymore.

I guess hearing the girls there tell me "it's clear he's into you, you lucky cunt" made me think "ok if they can tell then maybe I am being clueless as usual"

>>17727689
Yes. Well, not exactly. I think the person who is "too nice" or "in it for the right reasons" gets fucked over.
Not to sound like an entitled "nice guy/girl", of course some people come off clingy and do too much for someone to the point it's like wtf but.. yeah. Idk.

if there's a women's version of the term "gigantic faggot" that is what I'm being.

Sorry guys. It's late..

Oh and do you guys think I made the right decision?

>>17727693
So then you have evidence that what you're looking for can work out.

>>17727700
Give yourself some credit: I think you do know, that you do have an opinion. Right, so... is it safe to say you have a similar approach to most romantic relationships you try to start? Try examining the feelings you've got going through your mind: on a sheet of paper, give yourself three columns. The first, the scenario, should be the situation you're considering. Try to get specific if you can: it sounds like this is about your beginning to date someone in general, rather than being about one guy. Your second column is for feelings- what emotions you're experiencing while thinking about your scenario, however (apparently) contradictory. Finally, your third column is for your thoughts- what *thoughts* are going through your mind (I hear you say "I don't know who to trust" for one).

Also helpful to look for patterns and examine if you feel they're positive or negative. Does the cocaine seem to help you? If not, perhaps consider taking steps to reel that back. How about the friends you were with- do they tend to support decisions you feel good about? If not, consider taking steps to reel that back.

My utmost apologies: I am dog tired at my end of the world and I have work in the morning. If you'd like some counseling to examine some of your goals and have help coming up with action plans for addressing them, consider approaching a university: most offer very low-cost counseling to the general public.

I'll try to spend a bit more time around /adv as well. I always use the same handle. I'm no professional yet, but I've worked in the social work field for some five years and am nearly finished with my Master's degree in the field. Plenty of other great, supportive people out there whom I'm sure would like to help you work through this, OP. Here's to you, to health and happiness. ;)

>>17727712
With the sort of candor that I'd never give a client save over the internet: yes. We can doubt ourselves in all sorts of situations of course, but given the drugs, that you didn't have your friends around, and that you had reluctance on your own (enough of an excuse right there), I say you had reason not to go with this guy, at least not under those circumstances.