What do you do when just being yourself is hurtful to others?
I've been informed today, in not-very-polite terms, the effect my demeanor has on other people. I'm quiet, reserved, don't smile a lot, and try to stay out of other people's business. This makes me seem cold, distant, hateful, and unfriendly to other people, including people I am close to. This isn't the first time I've been told off for my behavior, but it's the first time in awhile, and I'm starting to feel some things that I haven't felt for months. Namely, worthlessness and the feeling that my continuing existence is a burden on other people.
First, how do I cope with the fact that I've been inadvertently hurting people my entire life? Second, how do I stop hurting people in this way?
Get more practice.
>>17727489
be nicer. try to realize what specific things you do that turn people off
>>17727502
I guess my real issue at this moment is dealing with the feeling that I dindu nuffin. I mean, I never said anything offensive or hurtful to any of these people, but the mere appearance of being unfriendly, even when there is no malicious intent behind it, is enough to get me yelled at as if I had been going around punching people in the face. It just kinda hurts when you're told to be yourself but then when you actually are yourself it isn't good enough.
>>17727525
well i dont know your situation exactly, but these people you have upset may very well have their own issues that make them lash out at you. in truth its probably somewhere in the middle, i mean, being around someone who is a "downer" can be upsetting, but to lash out at you like they did is unreasonable and unproductive and that strong of a reaction at least is definitely all a product of their own shit
>>17727489
Something as simple as smiling more could help in my opinion. It might be hard for a while considering how you feel inside but I think it will be a good step on a path you want to be on.