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How do I stop caring about whether my gf is a pure virgin? In

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How do I stop caring about whether my gf is a pure virgin?

In today's world, it's simply impractical that I will find a good looking virgin my age (late 20s) but I can't stop being bothered by the possibility that other dicks will have tainted my hypothetical gf.

I just want to know how other people aren't bothered by having a non-virgin gf. How can you look at her face and honestly feel love for her, the same face that was cummed on by someone else?
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>>17725273

You need to grow out of this line of thinking, for one it doesn't make a difference to the person she is now, at your age it's better if she knows what she wants and likes in the bedroom. The way I justify it is if their previous sexual partners were from failed relationships, like my ex had a boyfriend for 4 years before me, obviously they were intimate during that period but it was someone she loved and cared about, and now she has moved on to a relationship she deems more suited for her (me). It's another thing if she's riding the cock carousel throughout her 20's and then wants to settle down with you.
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>>17725273
>How can you look at her face and honestly feel love for her, the same face that was cummed on by someone else?

Most of us don't think bout sex all the time, so we can ignore whether or not someone came on her face in the past.

Get your mind out of the gutter and realize people are more than the sum of their sex experiences.
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You don't. I'm certain it's in your genetics.

Personally, idgaf, but I know some people literally were born with the idea and it never leaves them.
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>>17725273

If you're not willing to overlook that fact then you have no choice but to try to find a virgin and not accepting anything less. There is nothing I or anyone else can say that will just magically make you accepting of a future partner that has had sex before.
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>>17725273

because 'dicks' dont taint a person.

by your own logic, how can a girl look at you and not feel shame and hatred knowing that you had sex with another woman?

are you a late 20s virgin OP?
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>>17725695
>are you a late 20s virgin OP?
Yes. I think it's only fair that I deserve a virgin girl.
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Realise that you'll never have a gf so you don't have to worry
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>>17725273

Welcome to /adv/, where you get to read the same thread every day for eternity.
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>>17725273
Why does it bother you? Be honest with yourself. It's just your ego and insecurity. The fear of being compared to someone else and wanting to control and possess.
You probably fap and cum thinking of fucking other girls that are not her. Like 99% of men out there. Don't be a hypocrite.
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>>17725273
If you're so hung up by the thoughts of other dicks rather than being focussed on what you like and appreciate in the girl then you are the one with an issue, not the non virgin girl. Unless we're talking about someone who has had threesomes and multiple one night stands, being a non virgin doesn't make you any less of a person or undeserving of love.
No one cares that you're pure. Once you have sex you'll be "tainted" as well then and become worthless by your own logic. We all know though there's one rule for men and one for women.
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Don't be a cuck.

You can't love a girl who has had another man's semen on her face.

There is a reason your body is saying no. It's cause she is tainted. Maybe not physically but mentally and psychologically, she'll always love her first more than you.

Sorry OP. This is the way females work.
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>>17726250
Joke's on you, I just hide these threads and look at an empty board
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OP, you are obviously gay. The faster you admit that fact the more relieved you will be.
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>>17725273
Start by being religious and hope to find a qt Christian girl who's saving herself for marriage.

If you can't at least do that, then you're just a hypocritical piss baby upset that the world doesn't work the way you want it to.
>>
Consider this: what does a girl's being a virgin mean to you? Break it down, three columns: scenario (your girlfriend not being a virgin), feelings (what emotions you're experiencing), thoughts (the thoughts that go through your head when you think about her not being a virgin). This can help you to look at it from a distance, examine all the elements of your cognition on this. Given this, you can decide how you want to approach it differently, if at all.

Don't try to rationalize your feelings too much: you're feeling them for a reason. Examine that, decide how you feel about that, then make a decision on how to approach your life with better knowledge of what drives you, what map you drive by. And let me be clear: you can draw new roads on that map. You can even get a new map altogether.
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>>17727633
So you can't love a girl whom has had sex with a man other than you. If she were to go out with you, have sex with you, and then for any reason whatsoever, years later, break up with you, would that mean that she's "tainted?" Can you describe what being "tainted" means to you?
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>>17726241
Nobody deserves anything.
Get rid of this mindset. The world owes you nothing.
You *can* choose to limit yourself to only virgin girls, but you will just have to accept they're very rare. Roughly 97% of women have lost their virginity by age 25.
Also, you're most likely projecting a certain set of ideals onto virgin women - you probably expect her to be religious, anti-feminist, conservative and submissive. There's no guarantee for that.
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>>17725273
OP do t lower your standard because most women are whores.

>ITT: Crusty used up sluts trying to settle down after riding the cock carousel
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WOW OP you sound like a TOTAL faggot. have fun being alone all your life you retarded "purist". You dont deserve shit, fuck yourself and that bullshit mindset. you sound like another one of those "perfect gentlemen" assholes gonna shoot every girl who rejected you because your so self abosorbed you don't even know what a loser you are for thinking like that.>>17727898
this guy is gonna be your best friend in your basement together. don't be pissed off because there is just more opportunity for women to get laid whenever they want. than puritanical fucktards such as yourself.
i dont say this often but "you should do us all a favor and fucking kill yourself"
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>>17727898
>any girl who had sex with someone who is not me is a whore
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>>17727633

I've never heard a more inaccurate summation of how females work with the phrase "This is the way females work" at the end of it.
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>>17727945
Triggered slut.
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>>17728127
Go be a bitter virgin on /r9k/, not here.
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>>17728152
Go be a bitter slut on /r9k/, not here.
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>>17725273
> the same face that was cummed on by someone else?
The same face consists out of dead cells, fucktons of shit that flies in the air was on it too, she probably had snot on it at some point, her daddy and mommy and grandparents and other family members kissed and touched it and there were nasty ass chemicals from cosmetics that make cum seem like the holy water in comparison. Oh and it gets renewed every couple years ... so if a nigger busted a nut in her face 7 years ago, it wasn't the same face it is now.

Simple biology.
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>>17725273
maybe you can just smack the virgin back into her. you're a total fucking tool. how many people have you slept with? ever had sex with a virgin...it isn't exactly fun.

I like my women as total sluts and know what they are doing. I like my wife to be in between total sluts and good girl...I guess you would call this normal.

maybe you should just hang around a church all day.
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Serious autistic question: What does Virgin ACTUALLY mean?`Does it change something with my body the first time i have sex? I'm 19 years old and i saved my virginity so far, but is there anything special happening other that the "this is my first time" moment?
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>>17729253

Nothing happens. You don't change physically or mentally in any way. You re still the same person.
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>>17725273
Why do you think that having sex with someone "taints" a person?
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>>17729311
Because it certainly can. A bad relationship can seriously affect the way someone conducts themselves in future relationships. If you've allowed guys to break your trust and walk all over your self-esteem, it changes you.

For most people, sex is deeply meaningful on an emotional, physical, and even spiritual level. I certainly wouldn't go to the same extreme as OP, but I'm also not gonna do the whole liberal "lol it's just harmless fun, it literally means nothing" thing.
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Ok listen. You idiots need to understand something about the human body. It's constantly growing from the inside out. It's happening to you right this very moment.

The outer layers of skin are being shed as new skin is being made and pushed outwards. Every part of your body is doing this right now. In 7 years, every single cell in your body will have been replaced. The flesh you are today is not the same flesh you were 7 years ago.

What does that mean? That means that even if you ignored that pretty Sally has been taking showers daily, all of her "defiled" skin is constantly being replaced! Amazing!

>But what about her vagina?! There's been Chad dick all over it! His saliva and cum are in there making abortions right now!!
Well, anon, guess what? God and nature are way ahead of you on this matter. Standard growth might not be fast enough to replace the flesh from the constant poundings Sally's sweet little love cove gets... So, God did you a solid. every single month, the walls of the vagina are sloughed off and replaced with fresh new walls in a process known as menstruation! WOW! Talk about convenient! Now you'll have a fresh new vagina just for you EVERY SINGLE MONTH!

Now maybe this will ease your retarded little head and you can get back to being human.
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>>17729253
No, nothing happens, it's just a way of referring to your first real sexual experience.

Although for women their hymen can tear, which is a tissue fold within the vagina. This is not as 1:1 related to virginity as what it looks like in culture, though. Historically people would be highly interested in whether or not a woman was a virgin, so the hymen being there (or not) was quite useful. In practice not even all girls are born with one, and it can get torn in ways other than sex. If the first sexual intercourse is with a smaller guy in terms of girth and the girl is relaxed and wet, it's even possible she still has a hymen despite having had sex.
Whether you have your hymen or not also has zero further consequences.

In fact, the most common thing people experience during there first time is a sort of "...this is it?" sensation as they feel less aroused and more nervous than they had expected.
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>>17725273

I feel you, OP.
I don't think less of anyone that has had sex, and don't make a point of it in any conversation regarding the topic,
but can't get over the feeling that they're "damaged goods" as soon as I would consider beginning a relationship with them.

Coincidentally; since I'm not a virgin anymore, I think of myself the same way,
and so my standards seem to get too outlandish to be applicable to anyone.

Just can't get the image of a cock inside a future gf's pussy that isn't mine out of my head.
I'd just feel like I'm prowling the thrift shop rather than starting something new and fresh.

Maybe it's insecurity, though I don't believe I'll have a problem being enough for any future partner.

I suppose, since life is finite anyways, why would I settle for anything but the best?
And the best is where I wouldn't feel the romance and sanctity of making love was lost to some drunken flirt in the toilet-stall of some mediocre karaoke-bar,
regardless of whether it would have been the start of a relationship or not.

Hopeless romantics of the world; unite
We can circle jerk until death, there our hopes will never be met
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>>17729347
I don't agree that sex means nothing either, but the idea that sex is an important divide between innocence and lack of innocence makes little sense. Ask any psychiatrist and they will tell you that most of the things that "tainted" people (made them guarded, damaged etc) happen in childhood because of bullying, a loss, family dynamics etc.

Absolutely, having casual sex is risky not just because of STDs but because you open yourself up to being screwed over by someone you literally allowed to come very close to you. People like to act like the body is just a tool but it isn't, it does something to humans to be touched and be so close and you cannot mentally keep that from happening if you are susceptible to it (and you better be, or else that's a bad sign in itself).

However the idea that virgins are pristine and in original packaging and by gaining experience they will only become lesser than they were is talking about human beings like they are objects that are unable to grow or heal. Yeah people get damaged but that is typically also something that spurns growth of character, new insights, or even just maturing and getting to know life better.
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>>17725273
Let go of the desires of flesh, and understand that all women are worthless whores, and that the dusk has settled on human civilization, and that we are heading towards the long night once more.

Realize the above, become free, and embrace your self and your own desires above all.
The world will burn away anyways, so why not enjoy the fun while we are at it?
I know I will, once the shit hits the fan.
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>>17729397
I don't see anything remotely "romantic" about talking this disrespectfully and in such a shallow way about human beings.
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>>17727945

..are you..angry that there is someone out there who wouldn't fuck you?
Surely you know this by now.

You do...don't you?
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>>17729416
Granted; It's an ideal that's feeling more like a fairy-tale rather than standards.
I don't mean to condescend.
It's just how I feel, and can't get myself to thinking it's wrong.

See it as the same way people rationalize their phobias, even when they know they're not valid or useful.
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>>17725273
Why do you care that much, OP? Legit curious.

Guys who are obsessed with virgins really come across as majorly creepy and predatory, not to mention delusional.

Do you hold yourself to the same standards you do your imaginary ideal mate?
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>>17729436
Sure I get that it's a rationalization and that you did not choose to think this way, it was just the "romantic" part that really rubbed you wrong.

Can you imagine potentially having a daughter some day - some little sunbeam of a toddler who screeches and does a weird little dance when you get home after a long day at work? Who rubs her cheek when she gets nervous exactly the way she already used to do when you were staring at her with an infatuated gaze when she was still in her playpen? Who grows up to say that she wants to marry you later on, who you console when she's crying because a friend of hers did not invite her to a birthday party? And then see her grow into a brave girl who blinks away her tears before bracing herself and going to her first day of middle school? Find yourself surprised at how thoughtful she is and the little things she notices, how you can every now and then see a glimpse of the grown woman that she will one day become even though she still throws fits when you tell her she can't buy that dress? Seeing her grow into someone who does not just endear and love you, but who surprises and eventually astounds you, makes you so proud with her bravery and lively imagination and loyalty towards her friends?

And then, can you imagine some guy comparing dating and sharing life with her to "rummaging through thrift stores instead of getting something fresh"? Because he's just such a hopeless romantic soul.
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>>17729440
>Guys who are obsessed with virgins really come across as majorly creepy and predatory, not to mention delusional.
Dumb whore detected. See pic, promiscuous women make bad gfs/wives
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>>17729457
Woah, people who live a wilder lifestyle tend to not be suited to life long monogamy. And women who are religious/very conservative both marry their first lover and look down upon potentially divorcing.

There being overlap in people who like to have sex with many partners and people unfit for LTR does not mean that having sex breaks women and disables them from being a good partner.
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>>17729457
I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that women who don't have a basis of comparison don't know any better so will just stay with shitty partners.

Seriously you sound like a major creep.
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>>17729466
This. I think >>17729457 is just an idiot.
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>>17729455
...Holy fucking shit.

No joke, reading that gave me chills.

I've been denying the romance of a life spent looking for love and finding it.

Holding a grudge because it wasn't me who was loved, and felt like I was the only one fit to give it.

I think you changed my fucking life here
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>>17729468

>everyone who has opinions I dont like is a "creep"

Nice way of arguing, sis
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>>17729466
>There being overlap in people who like to have sex with many partners and people unfit for LTR does not mean that having sex breaks women and disables them from being a good partner.
Point is that disregarding a woman sexual history is a obviously stupid if one wants a lasting relationship. You can say "but not every slut gets divorced"(like you are feebly trying to do) but that's like saying that you don't necessarily need a parachute to survive falling out of an airplane.

>>17729468
Can you even understand the graph in the pic above? And your explanation is incredibly stupid, it doesn't make even the tiniest bit of sense.
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>>17729473
Seeing the obvious is being an idiot?
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>>17729475
On the other hand can you imagine that same daughter having sex with a bunch of strangers casually and sometimes for stupid reasons like trading for food, being drunk, bored or sad, and being treated like a whore for a while?

I'm not saying that everyone should expect an innocent virgin but there's a level of moderation that you can expect from someone. I mean if a woman had sex with a long term boyfriend whom she loved fine but if she's just catching penises left and right then we have a problem.

And why? Besides pregnancy and disease, this affects someone's personality and shows their values. Someone who has sex casually can't magically make it sacred in marriage all of a sudden. Now if you don't find it sacred do what you want but if you do you should be with someone that agrees with you or you'll have problems
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>>17729493
>You can say "but not every slut gets divorced"(like you are feebly trying to do)
Uh, no, not at all. I am saying that a significant part of those stats are made up from women whose primary red flag is not that they had a lot of sex but that they have thrill seeking, impulse acting personalities that you can tell a lot more easily than you can their sexual history.

And that, vice versa, if you know a woman to be committed and looking for a serious relationship, having had sex does not suddenly undermine that.

Also, if you want to have the best shots at marriage, you also better marry someone with the same level of education and the same age, and marry in your late twenties or later... these are other factors of importance that no one cares about because they do not reinforce knee jerk feelings.
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>>17729440
Not Op, but I would prefer if (and that's a big if), I were ever to get a gf, she were a virgin. Mostly because I am one too, and I can't even relate to people who have had sexual experiences.

The closest thing to intimacy I have ever experienced have been platonic cuddling with my cousins, or hugs from my parents. I do not know what actual romantic and sexual intimacy is like, and when people tell shit about their experiences, I feel just uncomfortable and slightly disgusted.
At 23 years of age, I am basically disabled on this regard when compared to my peers. It is as if a blind man was listening people who can see about what the color of the flowers and the grass is.
That field of life is completely alien to me, and I find it hard to really relate to people who have experienced it.

Because of the above, if a girl I liked otherwise, wasn't a virgin, I dunno if I could really ever become close enough with her to actually have a relationship in the first place.
And I wouldn't want to have sex just for it's sake, as that has never interested me in the slightest. If I were to have sex, it would need to be with someone I cared about.

With these cards in hand, it seems to me that loneliness and wizardhood are what await me in the future.
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>>17729522
You're so pure, can I keep you?
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>>17729522
>Do you hold yourself to the same standards you do your imaginary ideal mate?

Not the same Anon, but the operative point here is that OP seems to believe virginity is a virtue. That being a virgin makes a girl "good".

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone with your same level of experience. That's not what OP does, though.
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>>17729522
Just saying - I find your reason for preferring a virgin the most natural and understandable I typically hear, but just because a girl's also a virgin does not mean that she shares your feelings about sex or your outlook. I was relatively late to lose my virginity and I did not care to have it with someone I did not care about, either. But I do/did not relate to feeling disgusted by other people's experiences, in fact I took the other route and would be lurking all the fetish threads and looking at weird porn that did not turn me on just because I was so curious to get an idea of what it all was. And it never felt that extreme to me either with being so alien, I mean, if I thought about it for longer the idea would become otherwordly, but usually it was not a big deal to me.

Again I understand wanting someone who is in a similar position but I feel that guys who have this idea of a virgin as the holy grail tend to underestimate that two people's experiences of something are never the same. Look at how even siblings typically tell wildly different stories about the kind of parents their parents were. No one else lives your personal reality. Another virgin could still be a lot less skittery than you are.
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>>17729511
Yeah I'm aware of the turns a life might take.

I couldn't feel connected to a potential slut in the first place,
but wouldn't have even considered returning love to anyone if they had been intimate for the same reasons I would.

Thanks, anon.
I think I'll go to bed now.
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>>17729542
For the record, I'm >>17729455 and that wasn't me. I don't disagree that living an extreme lifestyle reflects to more or less extent on who you are as a human being. But my point was to show how incredibly... MUCH a real human being is, and how infinitely too complex and fascinating and valuable to reduce to an object analogy that can be single-handedly spoiled like it shatters when dropped.

Have a good night, I'm glad my post resonated with you.
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>>17729513
>Uh, no, not at all. I am saying that a significant part of those stats are made up from women whose primary red flag is not that they had a lot of sex but that they have thrill seeking, impulse acting personalities that you can tell a lot more easily than you can their sexual history.
Divorce rate increases with the number of sexual partners, this is obvious from the graph above and from other similar studies. The things you mentioned might affect it too, but that's not what we are talking about.

>And that, vice versa, if you know a woman to be committed and looking for a serious relationship, having had sex does not suddenly undermine that.
Again, the divorce rate increases with the number of sexual partners. You can try to muddle the waters all you want, but in the end promiscuous people make bad partners.

>Also, if you want to have the best shots at marriage, you also better marry someone with the same level of education and the same age, and marry in your late twenties or later.
No, those things mights also be correlated with lasting marriages just like low-N sexual history. Now, I could say one should marry a woman of a different age, education level, etc because in the end none of those things "disables them from being a good partner", but I would be joking because I would know it was stupid.
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>>17729528
You do not know me.

>>17729534
Yeah, I don't really think that being a virgin in itself makes anyone better or worse person, and if I were to have a gf, her having few previous partners wouldn't bother me that much, as long as they were from actual relationships, not from casual hookups.

The idea of casual sex disturbs me utterly, mostly because I cannot comprehend why anyone would allow basically a total stranger to be intimate with you.

>>17729535
Honestly, I am disgusted by porn, even the shit I jack off to. It is just that when I am horny, the disgust sorta momentarily fades away. Sexual stuff in general has always been something I am somewhat uncomfortable with, masturbation included. For me, it is almost something like taking a shit. A passionless act that I do in order to relieve myself.
It is quite revolting to me.
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>>17729457
>>17729493
But all of this is irrelevant, because YOU will be the one to ruin every relationship you ever have. Because you really don't like women, and I doubt you even like yourself, so how and why would you carry on a romantic relationship for a whole lifetime anyway?

The mere fact that you're consulting graphs to judge a woman's "viability" in a relationship suggests that you've never had real feelings for another person, and you don't understand at all why people get into relationships
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>>17729584
>The idea of casual sex disturbs me utterly, mostly because I cannot comprehend why anyone would allow basically a total stranger to be intimate with you.

That's being judgemental. Well done! Now you are an asshole, just like OP!
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>>17729561
>other similar studies
Which are?
If I recall correctly before this picture was never posted with the link anymore, the authors who conducted the study themselves wrote that they had no explanations/research (yet) to give an actual context to the numbers.

>might affect it
No, they certainly do, because as many people in this thread pointed out your sex life and beliefs about sex are not some weird vacuum detached from the rest of your personality and world view. So by singling out people who fuck around you are by definition singling out people who have more in common than just that. And likewise for people who make the rather uncommon choice in this day and age to marry their first partner.

>try to muddle the waters
It's called interpreting statistics. Bare stats mean little if you cannot trace them back to real life situations you can avoid/encourage/whatever. In order to know with certainty whether amount of sexual partners in itself is a reason for worse divorce stats (as opposed to a symptom of the real reason, or a secondary contributor) you would need to isolate it much more so you can rule out other elements such as religion or societal pressure.

I was neither saying that it's pointless to take them into consideration nor that not meeting those criteria means it's doomed to fail. Just pointing out that even apart from everything I mentioned above, virgin wife = happy lifelong marriage & non-virgin wife = divorce is way too simplistic.
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>>17729584
>Sexual stuff in general has always been something I am somewhat uncomfortable with
>a passionless act
>It is quite revolting to me.

It sounds like you don't want to have sex with anyone, virgin or not.
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>>17729598
So instead accepting reality as it is, you end up trying to act like an amateur psychologist on 4chan.
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>>17725273
>it's simply impractical that I will find a good looking virgin my age (late 20s)
Hahaha, oh you!
>it's simply impractical that I will find a good looking girl my age (late 20s)
Now we're getting closer...
>it's simply impractical that I will find a good looking girl who is interested in me
There we go.

You need to drop this idea of "the perfect girlfriend". That, more than anything, is what's holding you back.

What you need, above all, is EXPERIENCE. If you aren't already getting dates with girls on a regular basis, you need to start small and work your way up.

Start dating girls that are just "okay"-looking. They won't be virgins, and they won't be hot, but try to find ones that are into the things you're into. Don't worry too much about the hobbies though, the point is that these are practice relationships, for you to learn and understand what it's like to be in a relationship, how to treat a girl, and what things you like and don't like in a girl from first-hand experience instead of imagination or theory. You're probably not going to spending your life with this girl, so it's okay to consider the relationship short-term unless you REALLY hit it off somehow.

If you think the idea of "practice relationships" is vile, petty, and manipulative, then WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK ALL THOSE GIRLS WERE DOING WITH IMMATURE FUCKHEADS IN HIGH SCHOOL? They didn't actually think those guys were good people, they just wanted experience with sex and relationships for when they met the actual right guy.

Once you've been with a couple girls and have a better idea of what kinds of traits really matter to you in a relationship, then you're ready to start looking for something serious.

Once you get to that point, I really need you to trust me on this: Go for personality/intelligence instead of looks. If you did things right, you'll have learned that 9 times out of 10, characteristically "hot" girls are BAD FUCKING NEWS in almost EVERY WAY.
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>>17729613
I didn't say your data was wrong (though it might be, I didn't check) I'm just saying that all this effort to determine what kind of woman would make a "perfect partner" is kind of a moot point if none of them want anything to do with you

And I actually agree with your basic conclusion that promiscuous people usually aren't well-suited to monogamy. But that's kind of obvious, just at face value, no?

It's just that you seem to think you can use these graphs to "punish" women who've made choices you disagree with. You come off like a smug, bitter little creep.
>>
>>17725273
Just fucking ask her you retard be honest with her if your a virgin too, unless you were a whoremonger fucking bitches and expect her to be clean.
>>
>>17729457
>he thinks marriages are for life
Lmfao ahahahaha
>>
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>>17729605
How am I being judgmental?
I simply stated that I find casual sex disturbing as an idea, and I would never partake in it myself because of how abhorrent the thought of it is to me.
I see intimacy and sex as something that ought to be between people who know each other well, and are romantically involved.
I dunno how compatible I would be with a girl who didn't share these values with me.

>>17729611
Honestly, that might be true, though as I have never been in a relationship, or even had anything more than a crush on a girl, I can hardly say if that is the definite case. Sex just for it's sake, has never interested me.

Again, as I stated above, I see sex and intimacy as something that ought to be between romantic partners, lovers, and as I have never had one, I dunno how having one would affect my desire to have sex.

As for masturbation, I originally started doing it back when I was a teen, because I didn't want to have wet dreams, as waking up to them was fucking disgusting, so I chose the less disgusting option. Of course, at the moment when I am horny, I do like masturbation, but the moment I come, I all my interest in it drops, and I get disgusted by myself and the shit I have watched.
>mf after I have masturbated and see the stuff I was jacking off to.
>>
>>17729646
Not to discourage you but I'm the girl who was late with losing her virginity and I still think your feelings are exceptional. I never wanted sex without love either, but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy masturbating tons, hell I licked my own fluids from my fingers before I ever kissed someone. And yeah the feeling disgusted with what you were watching stuff is normal but how you described it isn't to me.

Just pointing it out to maybe keep in the back of your head as an option..
>>
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>>17729606
The graph above is from: Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution among Women

Pic related is from a Heritage Foundation study.


>If I recall correctly before this picture was never posted with the link anymore, the authors who conducted the study themselves wrote that they had no explanations/research (yet) to give an actual context to the numbers.
As I said, promiscuous people make bad partners. What is so hard to understand? I don't understand your objections to that obvious fact.

>No, they certainly do, because as many people in this thread pointed out your sex life and beliefs about sex are not some weird vacuum detached from the rest of your personality and world view. So by singling out people who fuck around you are by definition singling out people who have more in common than just that. And likewise for people who make the rather uncommon choice in this day and age to marry their first partner.
What I've been saying is that promiscuous people make bad partners. What you are trying to say is unclear, it's probably something about how it's not the act of having sex itself that makes them bad partners. Even if that was true I don't see how it changes anything.

>In order to know with certainty whether amount of sexual partners in itself is a reason for worse divorce stats (as opposed to a symptom of the real reason, or a secondary contributor) you would need to isolate it much more so you can rule out other elements such as religion or societal pressure.
As I said above, even if having sex with many people is not the real reason it changes nothing. Promiscuosity would still be correlated with divorce and promiscuous people would still be bad partners.
>>
>>17729632
Again with the amateur psychologist schtick. You didn't even check the data...
>>
>>17729646

"Disturbing" and "Abhorrent" are pretty judgemental words for something you haven't even tried for yourself.

I'm not saying you have to like sex or whatever. I'm saying that describing sex like you are doing and thinking you know someone just from their views about sex is being judgmental.
>>
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>>17729662
> hell I licked my own fluids from my fingers before I ever kissed someone.
The idea in itself makes me gag.

And I do enjoy masturbating, while I am doing it, however the moment I come, I am disgusted by myself. I don't actively try to get horny in order to masturbate. Usually, I get horny when I stumble upon something on 4chan, a lewd picture for example, on some random thread, and then I just proceed to masturbate to get the horniness to go away, so I can continue what I was doing beforehand.
As I said before, it is akin to taking a dump for me. Something sorta uncomfortable, that you gotta do.

Maybe there is something wrong with me.
>>
>>17729685
There is nothing wrong with you.

Look, how often do you masturbate?
>>
>>17729680
I am not saying that sex itself is disturbing, or abhorrent. I am saying that casual sex, the act of being intimate with a TOTAL STRANGER is disturbing and abhorrent to me.

I wouldn't trust a total stranger to watch over my shopping bag for a few minutes, let alone see or TOUCH my naked body.
I cannot understand why anyone would be willing to be so open with anyone besides their closest friends, and partner.
>>
>>17729699
3-5 times a week, give or take. Used to do it more often back when I wasn't studying and didn't have a room-mate.
>>
>>17729685
For me nothing you mentioned in this particular post is really weird. Plenty of people who like sex do not particularly care for masturbation.

I do find not liking even the idea of sex pleasant, or having this dispassionate an attitude towards it as a twenty three year old virgin. But who knows, perhaps you just have a low sex drive...
>>
Every time I come on /adv/ there's this same exact thread.

Just try remember that deep down almost all women are physically and emotionally fragile creatures that are dependent on others. Sex is just temporary pleasure, if they can get effortlessly get it, you should let them have their fun. The social advantages of being a woman don't compare to having security in your own worth and being able to tolerate physical and emotional distress like a man.
>>
Because having prior experience will mean your next gf has more confidence and will be better in bed with you, ya dingus
>>
>>17729722

Sour grapes?
>>
>>17729722
b-but I want everything I have, and also everything they have, and I want them to have nothing except what I choose to give them. And I want them to thank me and love me for it. Is that really so much to ask?
>>
>>17729700
>I cannot understand why anyone would be willing to be so open with anyone besides their closest friends, and partner.

You not understanding is fine. You insulting those that live like that is not fine.

That's what being judgemental is. Passing judgement on others while not really knowing or understanding them.
>>
mate you're thinking this way because you're idealizing women and relationships and you're putting too much value into them. Stop romanticizing this shit, women aren't what you want them to be, virgins or not, they're just as shitty as you. We're all shitty cunts and that's fine. The sooner you accept it the better. And relationships are just 2 people who like and trust eachother to some extent spending time together and having sex. That's it, that's really all they are.

We're culturally conditioned to crave these perfect, impossible relationships with these perfect, impossible people. And I agree, it sounds great. Admitting and accepting it can't be the way you want it to be is hard. Trust me, I want my pure virgin waifu to be real as much as the next guy, but I know that at the end of the day it's just a pretty fantasy. But after I've come to terms with it I started to enjoy every relationship I had much more. Learn to accept people for what they are, not for what you want them to be. You will grow to like them for it too.
>>
>>17729705
Okay, so basically once a day / once every two days. I thought so.

Look at it this way: If sex is something sacred, the orgasm being a culmination of love and affection between two people who care for each other, than why treat your own orgasm like taking a shit?

You should be treating masturbation the way you'd treat sex.

You wouldn't just have sex as an everyday routine with your partner to "get it out of the way", so you need to treat self-sex the same way. Treat yourself well, treat yourself the way you'd treat your partner. All relationships start with self-respect.

So save it up. Don't masturbate for 2-3 days at a time, longer if possible. Make it special when you do masturbate. Find a time to be alone, and try to use your imagination instead of porn. If you have to use porn, use basic porn. If big tits or asses turn you on, go for that, but nothing more than solo girls with fairly attractive faces stripping/masturbating/showering etc. Basically, no crazy fetishy stuff that you'd look back on with a sober mind and think "oh god is that what really turns me on?"

Because humans are still a type of animal, many of our emotions, motivations, and mental well-being are tied to our libido, and frequent masturbation is not something nature prepared us for. When you masturbate/orgasm on such a regular basis, your brain basically interprets it as "Holy damn I am impregnating women every day, why do I need to bolster my creativity and friendliness and social desires when I've got to be one of the most sucessful males in nature?" So your brain doesn't allocate a lot of hormones to those areas of brain activity, since it doesn't have to.

If masturbation/orgasms aren't so common, however, your brain interprets that in relation to species-wide success too. "Oh shit, I haven't impregnated a single woman for way longer than normal! I better kick the confidence, emotion, social connection centres into high gear!"

cont...
>>
>>17729720
>But who knows, perhaps you just have a low sex drive...
Maybe, I dunno. Even back when I was a teenager (and got horny way more easily), I never really had any interest in pursuing girls that I found attractive, and even liked and had crushes towards. Though that was partially probably because of my shyness, and the fact that I was (and still sorta am), afraid of them.

But again, sex just for it's sake, never interested me.

>>17729726
Where did I insult anyone?
>>
>>17729737
>cont...
This may not be the case for everyone, but having found myself in your position, I know this worked for me.

Once you aren't "getting off" as frequently, orgasms aren't such a trivial thing, and sex and relationships in general start to seem a lot more appealing.

This won't make you suddenly start to desire disconnected stranger-sex for the sake of getting off, but it will give you a deeper appreciation of sexual romantic relationships in general.
>>
>>17729740

Calling something "abhorrent", "disgusting", "disturbing", and the general feeling of disgust your posts have is insulting, mate.

Let others live their lives and you live yours.
>>
>>17729737
>>17729742
I can see your point. Maybe I ought to give it a try.
Though, I have had points in my life where I barely masturbated at all, and I didn't really notice any difference.

>but it will give you a deeper appreciation of sexual romantic relationships in general.
This is something I doubt, due to the simple fact that I have no experiences of such relationships in the first place. You can hardly appreciate something you have never experienced and barely have any clue about what it is like.

>>17729753
You chose to get insulted by the words I used to describe my view on certain acts. To me, the idea of casual sex is disturbing and abhorrent, due to the reasons I have already stated.

I never insulted the people who practice casual sex themselves. They are free to practice it, but due to such massively different views I have on the subject, I doubt I'd be compatible with a girl who likes casual sex.
>>
>>17729793

Oh, sorry. What you are doing is short-sighted, judgmental, and childish.

Don't feel insulted! Good luck!
>>
>>17729811
Do you think that petty passive aggressiveness is enough to insult me? We are on 4chan m8, come on.

There is no substance to your statements, whereas I provided an actual explanation to why I view casual sex as disturbing and abhorrent.
>>
I knew a minister at a local church. He married his virgin wife and had three kids. He says that outside of making babies, she didn't want sex.

Women who want sex will have it outside of marriage. Women who don't want sex won't have it inside a marriage. What you're looking for is a girl who is crazy charged up and ready for sex, but is just waiting for you to put a ring on it in order to unleash her wild drive. That shit doesn't exist bro.
>>
>>17729753
>>17729811
>Let others live their lives and you live yours.

Maybe you should take your own advice.
>>
>>17729828
>I am saying that casual sex, the act of being intimate with a TOTAL STRANGER is disturbing and abhorrent to me.

It's abhorrent to you. Doesn't mean it's abhorrent to all.

Is that the substance you were talking about? Kinda weak if you ask me.
>>
>>17729724
You think only a bitter virgin would say that because they can't get sex? You know, I've had plenty of sex and feel comfortable in my position. I get that my comment comes off as edgy and I wouldn't throw around statements like that in real life but it's just how I honestly feel, based on experiences with women and challenging circumstances.
>>
>>17729860
> Doesn't mean it's abhorrent to all.
I never made such a claim. I clearly stated that it was my own OPINION.
Why the hell are you getting pissy at me for me not liking the idea of casual sex?

I never said that people who practice casual sex are abhorrent or disturbing people. I said that TO ME, the idea of casual sex, being intimate with a TOTAL STRANGER, is abhorrent and disturbing. To me. As in, I would not want to partake in such behavior in any shape or form.

Do I need to make this any clearer for you?
>>
>>17729865

That's still not substance. It's a broad generalization drawn from your own personal experience, which will of course be filtered through your perceptions.

I never called you a "virgin". That's all in your head.

I said you were being judgemental. I'm pretty confident I'm using the word right.

Hell, you pretty much admitted it here:

>I get that my comment comes off as edgy and I wouldn't throw around statements like that in real life
>>
>>17729886
You weren't using the word "judgemental", you said "sour grapes". It implies that I was knocking something that's unavailable to me. Hence, me using the word "virgin". What post are you even replying to?
>>
grow up 2bdesu
>>
>>17729899

Sorry, I was coming from the chain with another poster. My mistake.

I meant, you are saying being a woman is great (" The social advantages of being a woman") but then go on about how weak they are and how sex is their only bliss.

"Sour grapes" as in: Looking at their life and trying to convince yourself it is way worse than yours.
>>
>>17729909
I'm just saying men are objectively stronger than women. Thanks to the finesses of modern society, it's possible to live comfortably from cradle to grave without facing hardships. I'm not saying women live miserably. They're just less likely to survive dire straits and I hold that privilege in high regard.
>>
>>17729936

Stronger both physically and emotionally, by your post. And the dismissive way you want OP to "let them have their fun" only shows contempt.

Also, your post is about generalizations. I can bet we can find some women that are stronger than some men, and some men that are much more sensitive than some women.

Don't confuse the use of averages, that's a very common logic mistake.
>>
>>17725273
you feel this way beacuse of insecurity since you didn't have same experience
if you fucked 10 girls and your hypothetical gf has fucked 5 guys you wouldn't be bothered (unless it was five at once)
>>
>>17727643
How come you're in this thread then?
>>
>>17729943
Individual exceptions don't change the evolutionary differences between men and women. Throughout millennia, men have had to be mentally and physically stronger and women have looked to men for protection. It's just science, sorry if it offends you. You can go cherrypick all you like or nitpick about averages, I don't care to defend my views.
>>
>>17730056

You post way too much for not caring to defend your views.

You think any man is stronger than any woman?

Because then you don't understand averages.
>>
>>17729830
>That shit doesn't exist bro.
If that's true then why am I still alive? The only thing driving me to live everyday is this faint hope. I have no choice but to not believe you. She's out there somewhere. The chances of us meeting are one in a million, but it could still happen.
>>
>>17730056

>Here are my opinions

>I won't answer questions about my opinions

So you just want us to swallow your interpretation of human evolution without any sort of discussion and just take your word for it? Ok cool. Seems legit.
>>
>>17725273

Stop going on 4chan and looking at porn. Your mind is fucking warped.

Every body has a past. It's unfair to judge them for it. If my gf gave me shit nonstop for not being a virgin, I'd dump her for being an insecure loser. Girls will do the same to you.
>>
>>17727633

This is why you should get off of 4chan for a while. A lot of weird people like this that are so insecure, they can't handle the fact that their gf has had guys before them.

If you are good at sex and can please women, you know you have no competition when it comes to your gf.
>>
>>17729673

This same fucking meme graph has been debunked probably a hundred thousand times. I'm sorry, /r9k/, there is no tangible data to support your idiocy.
>>
>>17730202
>>17730191
>>17730177
>>17730154
Chill out you dumb whore
>>
>>17730216

>someone disagrees with me

>must be a woman

Give yourself a pat on the back, m8. Your logic is flawless.
>>
>>17730216
Murder yourself, you genetic failure
>>
>>17730221
>>17730231
I said chill out
>>
>>17726839
>strong womyn detected

fuckoff you dumb bitch

being attracted to other women isn't equivalent to fucking them

>The fear of being compared to someone else and wanting to control and possess.

Why do you feminazis keep perpetuating this meme?
this isn't it at all. we just don't want to date whores and/or women who can't commit.

Personally, I don't think finding a virgin girl at that age is realistic, or even reasonable, but that being said, the fewer sexual partners the better, and there's no reason a girl should have had more than two by the time she is out of college.
A partner for highschool, a partner for college.
>>
>>17729377
>missing the point entirely

you must have an IQ of 100 or above to post on this website
>>
>>17729416


why the fuck are you on this website?

> disrespectfully

how fucking triggered can you get?
>>
>>17730289
That's patently untrue
>>
>>17729466
>not suited to life long monogamy
>disables them from being a good partner

are you retarded?
>>
>>17729632
>And I actually agree with your basic conclusion that promiscuous people usually aren't well-suited to monogamy.
>But that's kind of obvious, just at face value, no?

Are you retarded? If you had bothered to read the thread, you would realize that it wasn't obvious to some people, hence why he included the data.

>It's just that you seem to think you can use these graphs to "punish" women who've made choices you disagree with

Where did you get this from?

>You come off like a smug, bitter little creep.

fucking nekkyourself roastie. you've said this about 5 different times this entire thread. "hurr durr im not winning the argument, let me call him a creep"

>I'm just saying that all this effort to determine what kind of woman would make a "perfect partner" is kind of a moot point if none of them want anything to do with you

again, the insults posed as arguments.
>>
>>17729606
>virgin wife = happy lifelong marriage & non-virgin wife = divorce is way too simplistic.

>virgin wife = happy lifelong marriage

No one ever said that.
>>
>>17729605
>being judgemental=being an asshole

when did all of these sjws start flooding this site?

god, please fuck off
>>
Dude just get over it. Sleep with a lot of them but never offer anything in return hopefully it makes you feel better.
>>
>>17730335
Didn't you hear, anon? It's 2016 and exercising judgment is a bad thing now. You're just supposed to ignore it when people are dishonest or impulsive or unreliable and say "You're doing great!"
>>
>>17730378
I'm actually curious though.
I don't understand why they would choose this site of all places. Is it possible that our own are becoming corrupted?
>>
>>17730378

Are you seriously so intent on proving your point that you're going to sit there and pretend that you don't understand that not all judgement is equal?

You're purposefully being stupid.
>>
>>17730394
Yes, I'm purposefully being stupid, that's why I come to fucking 4chan. That was the first post I've made in this thread, I have no serious intentions whatsoever, and I don't plan to scroll up and read your dumbass 120-post argument
>>
So what are you gonna do? Keep waiting any longer and you'll find no one?

Get some mail order bride who is submissive, doubly so because she can hardly speak English. The slav countries are getting pretty thin as far as girls go, so your best bet is an Asian chick.

Good luck, also enjoy your children looking nothing like you.
>>
>>17730413

It has nothing to do with the 120-post argument.

You just tried to infer that somehow "exercising judgement" is frowned upon when you know for a fact that there is such a thing as reasonable judgment and irrational judgment. I really love it when you guys do that, just throw up your hands and go "YEAH I GUESS IM NOT ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE ANYTHING NOW HUH?" when no one implied that thats what they are saying.

Its when someone has an issue with a specific thing you're doing you blow up the argument to include all of your behavior so you don't have to address the one item in question.

So yes, anon. You're not allowed to judge anything. You can't judge how far a car is when crossing the street. You can't judge how much money you can spend when you get paid. Its 2016 and thats EXACTLY what we were trying to say, idiot. No judging anything. Just live your life without weighing the pros and cons of anything.
>>
>>17730428
dude I literally told you I was trolling, why would you type all that shit? Stop taking yourself so seriously and remember where you are
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