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Little back story:
>Be 23 year old virgin
>Never felt love before (starting to think there's something wrong with me)
>Meet a girl and fall in love with her
>Sweetest, kindest girl you'll ever meet
>Feel alive for the first time in my life
>She's sort of depressed about her life and uni
>Find out she was groomed in the past
>Support her through it
>Relationship turns chaotic
>She leaves me
>We stay friends and spend time together
>She makes me realise that I was emotionally abusive during the relationship
>I'm distraught, we both go into therapy (separately)
>Remain friends and support each other
>Not sure if I want to be with her or not, still feel strongly about her
>A year passes and she's seeing someone new
>I literally find out a few afters after I tell her I want to get back together
>She acknowledges a connection between us but seems indecisive
>Still struggling through her issues, it seems
>Splits up with her new boy a few weeks later
>We're talking again
>Replies become staggered
>She asks for time
>Don't hear from her in a week
>Stops responding all together
>>
CONTINUED
Right now I'm having an emotional crisis, not necessarily because of her but because of the things I've dredged up from my past to try and become a better, less abusive person. I tried to respect her space and time but I'm in a place where I feel like I'm going to hurt myself if I can't confide in somebody. I nearly stepped out in front of a train the other day. I can't afford therapy.
I don't want to tell her I feel suicidal (that wouldn't be fair), I just want to be able to talk to her. She always understood me and was the only person I could talk to about emotional problems. I really don't want to burden her with my shit but I feel like the one person I trust is slipping away from me and if she knew, she'd want to help me. Is it fair for me to bother her with this? She's going to China soon and I don't know when she's coming back.
I can't talk to my family about it, they just get pissed off at me for being in a mood. I've been trying for over a year to move on and immerse myself in life and hobbies but nothings changed, things are just getting worse.
Advice?
>>
Sounds like shes jerking you around nonstop and only comes back when shes bored. You are entitled to seek better, not some cunt that benches your ass. Light that bitch on fire OP
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Honestly, yeah youre in a shitty feel zone as a 23yr virgin.. but you still need to know your worth and stop with this hoe that obviously isnt into you
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She's an emotional leech. Cut your ties, run and never look back.
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>>17722912
Honestly I think the love factor was a bigger thing for me. Meeting a girl for once I could actually trust and open up to was a huge thing for me.
I think she was into me but I added myself to her list of abusive boyfriends. Shit hurts, man.
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>>17722918
Please elaborate
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