A clusterfuck of a situation I'm in.

(2/3, because I suck at math)
3. I've slowly turned into an alcoholic. I've been socially drinking since I was a junior in high school but in the past few months I've hit the sauce pretty hard. Partying? Get plastered. Alone? Drink the sorrows away. It's gotten really bad, almost to the point where I laid a subtle hint to my roommate which was a cry for help. He probably thought I was joking. I could also be a 'partyholic' too, in that I go to parties and socialize in order to feel better.

4. Women. I am absolutely in love with a girl from my old hometown, and she goes to a community college there, although she often rolls through my campus some weekends to party. I'm not dating her, but I've had many opportunities to ask her out and I'm pretty sure she's even implied that she'd love to go out with me. My self esteem is terribly low and she lives 2 hours away... Oh, and other than having drunk sex this one time in high school of which I have no recollection of, I'm basically a virgin.

(3/3)
5. My family. Even though my dad has bipolar, my parents used to fight only as often as average parents did. That changed when my dad's stupid fucking chink psychiatrist decided that lithium was no longer working for him, even though a retarded chimpanzee could tell you he just was taking it incorrectly. So now he takes a medicine that barely even works, not to mention that he's one of the worst cases of bipolar disorder many doctors have ever seen. He tries, he can still be a good father but he won't listen to reason. My other family members regardless of side won't listen to my mother because my dad somehow convinced them she's a drug addict (she was in rehab for a short time a long time ago for an addiction to painkillers because she had to use them after a surgery to remove a benign tumor in 07), which is ironic because he uses mary jane all the time, convinced it will heal him even though studies say pot makes bipolar worse. I was the moderator of arguments during my last two years living with them. I thought moving to college far away from them would help, and it does but it also makes me worry like crazy.

Part of me wants to stay, but I am about 6 months from just jumping off a cliff. What I'm doing feels so vanilla and I hate it. I want to leave, but I don't know how my parents would feel, and I'd have to go back to living in a shitty situation until I get a place on my own, although I wouldn't mind having a shit job for a while if I'm trying to make it into entertainment.

What the fuck am I going to do?

Shameless bump

tl;dr

>>17722128
>>17722135
>>17722152
What do you want us to say to you?