close friend of 2 years sent this, does it seem honest and believable?

they're trying to ditch you mang

they did not have the same opinion on your 'friendship' as you

just to clarify, friend in question is female, im male. shes straight

>>17718446
the funny thing i told them straight up that its fine if you dont want to stay friends. just tell me the truth no bs

oh and this friend studies away from home, the person in question is one of her housemates.

so i dont get to see this friend until she comes back

>>17718451

Look man I've got no answers for this but it happens. My girlfriend of 7 years man, when we split she was adamant that we remain friends and you know I tried to be an adult, look at it rationally, I could go nuclear and excommunicate her like everyone says to do or take whatever value I can from a platonic relationship for a change.

Then they just don't bother and make it plain in action that they don't care. I don't know why they do it but they do no point thinking about it.

>>17718458
but we werent dating, so there was no breakup

>>17718451
Simply, I think she's downgrading your friendship.

People don't really say "I'm not going to be your friend anymore". Deliberately and non-deliberately breaking a friendship happens in the same way- continuously not allocating time or attention to the friend. There's no breakup, just a slipping.

You don't gain much by overtly ending a friendship, it just burns bridges. But by leaving it in limbo you have the possibility to reconnect or hang out later with fewer hard feelings.

I have friends like this: they say we're close friends and they want to talk, but they don't and they don't make time. Then I have friends who say the same things but I believe them because when I get genuinely busy they'll track me down for a catchup.

too much texting will be perceived as being obsessive about someone.
there is no way to find out if the texts were honest or not unless you stop texting her.
if she texts you again after some time, you're obviously good. if not, shit happens.
even if you're just friends, this is the only thing you can do in this situation.

>>17718505
i mean some of it was expected, real life always takes priority, and since shes away at school, her housemates (who are also friends) will take priority. I cant expect her to say no and drop everything just so we can do online shit. If i were in her shoes id do the same. youd miss out on alot if you stayed inside and focused on your friends back home. granted within limits though.
So im not really upset at that, i guess il really see when she comes back for the winter break. If things are still shit then i give up.

i should say prior to this, in august she said she wanted to talk less because we were talking daily. Said not to worry and overthink it, the "im still positive" stems from the conversation we had back then about it.

and by watch, she means watch stuff with me.

Look you faggot, if you have to think this much about a platonic relationship you're wasting your time. Friendships are easy and work out because you just like each other.

Thats a woman? Yeah shes cutting you off probably but want to seem like a bitch or go cold turkey

The proper response is to go cold turkey

>>17719004
lol thats not how u cut people off properly
you gotta stay neutral, being positive only gets peoples hopes up.

op id say, stay chill and see how it goes, try not to think it too much. the real truth will reveal itself soon anyways. If she cant make time for you during the winter break/holidays its definately over and she lied. think about it this way, if she couldnt find time for you then, then theres no way she will find time when she goes back to school the next semester. So wait till then. As of now you probably wont find out.

this sounds to me more like the guy in her relationship doesn't like her association with you.

>>17719143
what guy?

>>17718451
She doesn't have the time or energy to be as close as you were before, but doesn't want to entirely stop being friends either.
Frankly you sort of sound like an insecure dramatic little bitch. Like if someone doesn't have the time to constantly text you it's instantly all SO DOES THIS MEAN YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN HUH JUST TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO STOP BEING FRIENDS

I have a friend like that who amps up the drama, like you. If there's any bigger conflict she's very quick to slam down the DOES THAT MEAN YOU WANT TO STOP BEING FRIENDS card and it's super annoying. Her eagerness to even bring it and up suggest it makes me feel like she's just looking for an excuse to stop talking to me, because if we'd be real friends she wouldn't think that we'll just cut the connection over a minor argument.

It takes some serious shit for anyone to full-on say that yes, I never want to see you again. More often, friendships just sort of dilute, in a different phase of one's life there's not the same time or intensity, but it could pick up again later in time. But if you choose to make it into a big drama and force them to choose between
[ ] engage me as often and long as I tell you to or
[ ] officially end the friendship

they'll end the friendship because ain't nobody got time for angsty drama bitches like that.

Just accept that sadly, they don't have the time to be as intensely friendly as you'd like, even if that only seems like normal interaction to you. They're busy. Maybe there's more to it but whining will only make things worse. If you whine until they communicate with you more out of guilt, you'll turn yourself into a chore, a negative thing in their eyes. Just chill and let her be busy, maintain contact and be happy to talk to her. Friendships often have quieter periods

>>17719526
ok will do, i mean its not like shes ignoring me. well maybe she is but she will always reply at some point. probably should have mentioned that she liked me for at least a year, as in romantically but we didnt date.

yeah i know they tend to just phase out usually, granted shes putting some effort to explain herself which is something most friends who drift dont really do, theyll usually say somethng like "oh just busy" and let it drift.

i dont get the issue op, she said she was going to text more but stuff happened, so wait it out, then shell be free and talk to you more.
or am i wrong here?

>>17719588
>she will always reply at some point
I'm really bad at communicating when under stress or busy myself, so I can totally see how she would want to remain friends but at this stage in her life just doesn't have the energy or time to maintain active contact daily. It happens. Like you say, she's putting a lot of effort into explaining yourself and reassuring you, so it'd be a good idea to sort of apologise for the drama, maybe just say that it's because her friendship means so much to you, and cheerfully wish her good luck and strength and tell her to take her time, you're still looking forward to watching stuff with her tho. Just be chill about it, it's best.

>>17719605
your advice seems oddly hopeful compared to the rest of the posters on 4chin.

>>17719605
ill keep as chill as possible. Altough i cant help but think that when she says "cecilia wants to hangout more" translates to me being replaced.
I know i shouldnt think like that, i mean i gotta look at the circumstances here, she lives with her, they see each other daily, its a whole different thing.

The first year we met she had a random roommate, now shes living with 2 friends, honestly should have expected this. and to be honest, if i was living with my friends id probably be doing the same. cant ignore real life to focus on someone that lives hours away most of the year. People that surround you in real life daily take priority.

thanks for the honest advice by the way

I'm going to assume your "in to her" and she's not in to you in return. You're now trying the ultra-cringy "i-it's fine i-if you don't want to be friends b-because you don't text me everyday" tactic. You're trying to play the pity card on this girl because she isn't paying enough attention to you. Guess what? She's not in to you like that and you're making it super-awkward to just let things be. Do you give the same sob story "it's ok if you hate me" type speeches to your male friends to?

Face it, she's not interested in dating you and playing the pity card is just straight said and cringy.

>>17719687
i dont think youre reading things right, my issue isnt with not texting everyday.

>>17719650
It's because I recognise myself and my behaviour in what OP's friend seems to be doing

>>17719727

Would it better if I used "communicate" instead? If this person were really just a super-great friend, then you wouldn't have communication issues to begin with. If it's just unrequited love were you're projecting your desires (and self-pity) on to her to get her to initiate contact more, than that is just sad.

I honestly don't understand how guys get friendzoned or oneitised? Like, if you're not getting the social or romantic cues you want, just take the hint and move on. We guys do the same shit to females we're not interested in or other guy friends we're not that in to. Not all women need to be convinced to communicate heavily or to fall in love. If there is a genuine interest from their side, then they will reciprocate or initiate on their own.

>>17719661
>"cecilia wants to hangout more" translates to me being replaced.
Cecilia's physically there and you're not. It's inevitable she'll replace you in some measure. For a while, doesn't mean it's permanent.

In any case, the only thing you can do is accept that it's gonna be a less intense friendship. You can't force these things. Possibly she'll sort of phase the friendship into a lower tier, or maybe you'll drift apart - that happens, too.

But it's natural that during the course of one's life friendships come and go - and then often come back, when the timing is better. I've lots of friends who I have very little contact with when they're far, but then I'll see them when we're both in a vicinity and it'll just continue from where we left off. But if it turns into into a drama, activating the friendship back from hibernation mode will be harder if not impossible.

It's your choice. Do you value them as a friend so much that you want to remain friends even if they don't have the time to actively be in contact? Or do you only want to be friends with people who have the time and energy to communicate with x intensity and hours per week rate?

And like I said, it's possible, sadly, that they will phase out - but even then, maintaining your dignity and not throwing a huge fit is better for your self-esteem. It can feel hard if you feel like you're being replaced, I know, but such is life. However, piling guilt and accusations won't help, it'll only make her associate negative emotions with you, which won't help.

Based on the screencaps you've made plenty clear you miss her and your diminishing connection. She's gone out of her way to reassure you. Now it's time to acknowledge that, and indicate you appreciate her taking the time to reassure you and show some support and acceptance in a non-whiny way - and *find new friends* so you're not dependent on her, eagerly awaiting for her to grant time for you, as that creates pressure and non-easiness.

GL anon

op why do you automatically think shes talking less only to you? i mean she lives with her housemates so she doesnt need to text them much to begin with,
maybe shes just not texting everyone much, lol playing the victim for what reason?
She said it herself she doesnt check her phone much, you think her other friends are getting upset like you do?