I think I have PTSD from child abuse. Advice please?

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Grew up in something similar. There's no easy way to get over it except talking about it. Guess what, I don't judge ya, been through the same shit. Unfortuantely, there isn't much you can do as a kid in those situations. No influence, nad size and age makes it so you can easily be disproven, but what I realized is that once you get your own place and are on your own, you are outta there.

My sister was smart and was able to stay out of our "home" majority of the time since she was pretty social in school. Even if you don't think you ave friends, think of them as an escape from where you're at.

Also don't hurt yourself, it only maims you in the end, lost my lung learning that lesson.

If you already have a therapist, you're on the right track. It's not that uncommon that people may have had a bad home life. Not the best way to connect with someone, but hey it's a start.

How young are your siblings? If it's to the point where you don't feel safe within your own home, you should have someone that can take you away from there, eg. a friends house to take shelter for a couple hours, or a police station if it gets real bad. It's alwasy fucky with abusive family since you love em and don't want to hurt em, and don't want be to be hurt by em. Shitty relationships like that are why divorce exists. If they don't want to divorce, then do your best to protect your siblings, I was smart enough to stay hidden once the yelling started, but it would've been better spent with a friend.

What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies? What do you do for fun?

Also getting judged isn't that bad, watch, I'll do it to myself.

I am damaged goods.

...so? That doesn't change the fact that anyone can be friends with you. People will always judge, but whether or not they like you is determined by who you are, not what has happened to you.

In the end I realized that our lives are within your full control, emotions can change by your will, but the strength to it usually found deep within your subconscious. Talking brings it out.

I hope my rambling helps

>>17718154
that feel

things only got better when I got away from my family, there was no way I could feel safe or good about myself with them still around

it was hard, because my family was abusive it was also very very insular; I didn't know anyone outside of it
that made getting a job a license and ultimately moving out hard

I had to become tough to do what I had to do, to ignore what they made me do, to speak to people I barely knew about my problems
I found that everyone was willing to help me, but that not many people understood and that it got worse before it got better

I still zone out, jump at noises, sleep in a locked room, hoard food, have trouble trusting people
it takes a lot of undoing

>>17718154
You don't have PTSD, you're just a little bitch.

Kill yourself and save this planet from your made up problems.

>>17718294
Hey the voices are back again.

>>17718294
what the fuck man, this isn't /b/

>>17718301
No shit.

It's solid advice.

CPS is without a doubt better than whatever your parents are putting through your siblings. I would strongly encourage you to call the police, get your identification back, and get your people out of there asap.

The simple fact your mother is trying to get you to lie about what is going on is proof she knows its fucked up. Right now you should just focus on getting out and setting up a stable life, shit like friends and dating should be tertiary at best.

>>17718306
I don''t know it you are new, a troll, or one of those misguided /b/pol/k/r9k only users
but here we are civil to one another, and we don't tell people to kill themselves

you arn't welcome here

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>>17718314
>including /k/
Either things have radically changed since a few months ago or you're just lumping in random boards.

>>17718314
Giving solid advice is trolling.

Sure thing sperg lord.

>>17718320
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the commandos, but it is one of the boards spergs gravitate towards

the point I'm making is that each board has it's own culture, and too many newfags get used to the designated shitting boards, then think it's OK to be assholes all over 4chan

most boards have or used to have a constructive culture, but being abusive, unproductive or needlessly divisive has become the norm

this is the only board with a link to the suicide prevention line on every page, that should say something to the people who post here

it's one of the big reasons so many people are leaving here in droves

>>17718367
>it is one of the boards spergs gravitate towards
But that's true for every board here, minus maybe /diy/?

>>17718154
You were suppose to poison them and take the insurance money and house.
Then give it all the most sane, healthy and intelligent child and then commit seppuku.

I'm sorry, but learn to be a conqueror it is the only way you will become successful in life.

THREAD DERAILED.
ABORT THREAD.
ABORT THREAD.
ABORT THREAD.
ABORT THREAD.
ABORT THREAD.

KEKED

shit, I went and fed the trolls

sorry for getting sucked into a derail OP
normally I wouldn't say anything but the lack of moderation for quality here is getting to be a serious problem

>>17718392
You should go and kill yourself.

Hi, OP again. I'm ignoring the derailing. Nothing is happening right now that's life threatening. I made this post because I've come to realize that I have no personality, interests, hobbies and I have problems regulating my emotions. I didn't really become a real person and I have no friends at all. I can't connect with anyone so I want to tell my psychologist next meeting, but I'm worried about it back firing somehow. I just want to be able to address what's wrong with me so I can become normal or work towards that, but it's just so much, it's my entire life.

If anything major happens again, I guess it's just time to go, but :/

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>>17718475
...are you trying to sound like me?
is this a joke? I don't care at this point.
add me on steam. I'm sure you have some interests, everyone does. Hell, I'm lonely and bored enough to listen to a stranger anyway.

Heyfyr is my steam name, if you don't have steam... I dunno any other websites to talk. if you do, let me know.

I'll be up for nother 3 hours.

>>17718475
Remember, therapists are there to listen to your story and help you through your problems. If there is something you want to talk about, address first thing next meeting. Being direct about issues is the best way to make progress towards solving them.

>>17718651
I don't have steam, sorry :/
do you have a throwaway email?
>>17718683
I wrote out my issues so I'll give it to my psychologist next meeting. I'm not good at speaking so I wrote. I hope it goes well.

>>17718690
Have you considered giving freely of yourself sexually? To allow your body to be a focus for the sexual energies of your male friends?

>>17718690
[email protected]

Hey op, I'm in a similar place as you.
I'm 20, grew up with abusive, drug using father and an absent mother. A lot of belittling and shaming for any individualism turned me into someone just like you: no personality, no interests, no knowledge of how to conduct my emotions or form any real relationships. For a long while I lived in a haze just going with the motions of life, moving forward but not really being present.
This year I tried to adopt a fake persona where I was more outgoing, it started off as a genuine attempt to find myself but I really was just tricking myself. and while I have a lot more people interested in me now, it's all at a very superficial level. I've found that a lot of people just want a non judgemental ear to talk to which is how I e been making most of my connections. But that isn't a conversation; we are speaking to each other, they're speaking at me(which to be completely honest is how I preferred it. I thought I've been doing better but I've just ignoring the issues I have. I still don't feel present, I'm still just drifting. If anything it's worse now Bc instead of reflecting on it, I ignore it. I feel like I'm living a lie and ive been leading a lot of people on and hurting them with this false persona and it's just hurting myself more than anything.

>>17719005
Cont
I actually just went through a really challenging week mentally. Two people I've been interacting with have somehow seen through my act and have directly challenged all the pretenses I've set up for myself and it shook me to my core. I felt like I was trapped; something in me wanted to jump out of my skin and run away and I felt trapped. It was honestly terrifying and really made me realize I can't run away from myself any longer but I can't face myself alone either. I know this isn't any help but I just want to let you know you aren't alone and the fact that there's someone going through the same issues is so comforting to me that I'm choking up on the train going to work as I wrote this. You aren't alone and we can't change our pasts, but we're living and we don't have to settle. We can work on ourselves and find out who we really are.

>>17719011
I didn't see this earlier anon but I'm sorry that you went through what you did. This will follow us for the rest of our lives, but I think having the right therapist will help. I really just want to be a normal person.