GIOYC

Well fuck

The girl that you were all over and that was all over you tonight ended up being bicurious and making out with some other chick. Maybe if you were more up front you could have made out with someone and been a little less lonely tonight. Oh well that's life though. Maybe I should just go after more conventional girls at parties. The ones that aren't looking for anything other than someone to keep then company for the night.

I'm sad right now but, hey, at least you went out tonight. I'm okay with meaningless hookups. Maybe another time. Too bad you're anti social and it was a miracle you even ended up at a party tonight.

Maybe I should just focus on getting /fit/

who knows

fuck it

I had a dream about you again tonight.

It's been 5 years and I still miss you and I hate it.

Ever since I met you again I have been contemplating my life and all the missed opportunities and failures I've had since the last time we met. It still hurts to know that you and I won't be spending our lives together, but meeting you again have opened my eyes. I have been clinging too hard on my past to the point that I never matured and I have been moving sideways in my young adult life. Hopefully there is still time to discover myself and find something more meaningful and fulfilling, where I can finally accept myself as a good person.
I won't forget about you and there is still a part of me that wishes to meet you again in much more happier circumstances.

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>>17715581
People who believe in god/afterlife/ghosts, basically everyone on /x/ is fucking retarded.

i miss my ex a lot and i fucking hate it.

i've tried hooking up with randos, hooking up with people i know and like, i tried dating other people, i tried flirting with people, i tried everything and i still just miss this one specific person.
they weren't even that great, they cheated on me and pulled a bunch of fucked up stunts and were generally pretty shitty. every single one of my friends has told me that they hate this kid. i have absolutely no reason to be pining like this, it really sucks. but i also have absolutely no desire to be with anybody else??? even when i was dating other people i'd still miss them a lot. i don't get it.
this fucking sucks and i wish it would stop.

I'm worried about you. I'm afraid I'll get a phone call telling me you've done something stupid. I know you're not doing as well as you try to pretend you are. I'd like to be there for you, I really would, but I'm not doing that great either. I miss you loads. Why did this need to happen? You made me break my promise, and it haunts me. It tortures me. I never wanted to be a source of stress or pressure, and I think you know that if you'd talked to me properly we could've figured shit out. I've put a deadline for myself. Not in a good sense. Do you miss me? How did this happen? I'm so fucking proud of you, and so fucking disappointed of you. Proud that you're finally doing shit for yourself, disappointed that you felt you needed to push me away to do that. I feel as if I was the only thing keeping you from happiness, even though I only ever wanted you to be happy. Please, don't take too long to figure yourself out. I'm not handling this too well, and the voices are getting louder, telling me to visit that dark place again. Please don't wait for that phone call to realize your mistake. I love you inconditionally.

I swear to god, I've been up and down so much these last few days, flipping between feeling like the world is my oyster to everything's fucking over, I just want to fucking level out and chill.

>>17715778
but bro, how do you explain all these coincidences, there's just too many coincidences

I still think about how life might be like for us if you'd have run away with me.

I want to call you all the time but I'm certain you have probably forgotten about me.

Hope you find happiness, and I hope I get over you at some stage.

Go fuck yourself!

I forgot to pick up condoms after my shift. Was hoping to pull tonight. Fuck sake.

Gonna have to check the dispensers in the toilets now, oioi.

My wife is away for the weekend and I've just put my favourite butt-plug in.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the next 8 or so hours, but I think it will involve some form of masturbation. If this is the case, then I'm sure that whatever I masturbate to will be something that I'd be ashamed to ever let her see... biconfusion videos, or child model pictures, or animal documentaries, or something.
It's going to be magical.

Fuck you bitch.

>>17716034
Cry me a river.

Please knock at my door one day.

>>17715944
what was your promise anon?

>>17716061
I'll do something else once we meet.

A week has gone by and I still thinking about you like it was yesterday.

>>17716142
LOL its only a week so obv you'll still think of them like yesterday

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>Sent my ex a 10 minute voice note because of these fucking threads
Tell me how bad I fucked up, right now

I always wonder why /adv/ never have those reply notification things like others boards have.

The only reason why I am alive today is because someone found and took my rope. I already had my knot tied and was ready to go.

I ordered a new one though... I don't know what I'm going to do when it get's here.

There won't be a note. No one cared to listen to me in life so why would they care in death?

Hey M

Hope you're keeping well and the new job is working out for you.
You freaked me out a bit when you still politely responded to me despite everything. I kinda wish I didn't fuck things up but tried a bit harder instead and did things properly with you. Take you out for good food, to see things, find new places to drink, anything really. Just doing stuff together and getting to know one another properly.

I've been working on getting my shit together since the last time we spoke, it's actually working out. I'm sure you're doing fine too.

>>17716176
Turn off adblocker

>>17715944
Initials?

J

I'm massively depressed and I've realised that I also was when we were together. The only reason I didn't sleep every hour of my weekends away was because of the prospect of talking to you or seeing you. You were my placebo. I realise that's not something you deserved to deal with. I hope I can get past this and I hope you don't ever feel that you messed me up, because it's me who's responsible and if anything you've helped me see that.

I told you "no, I cant go to one of your best friends parties tonight because I work"" when really I mean 'no I can got because im a fucking pussified wagecuck that chooses to work weekends and take it up the fucking ass by ungrateful cheap people while wasting my youth away trying to chase some bullshit dream of being some suited-up dickwad head of some department no one gives a shit about."

god fuck this shit, here we go again, I didn't see any of my friends last fall/winter. I fucking hate myself.

>>17716190
Initial?

>>17716026
Your poor wife. She married a faggot

No matter how much I try to better myself I still end up fucking it up. I'm better off dead, but I can't do that cause it would hurt my family. So I'll keep going on in my worthless existence and hope someday someone will put me out of my misery.

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I hanging on by a very small thread and no one else can see it. I see myself dying alone. I'm a loser. I never asked for this, if I had a choice I would have preferred to never have existed.

>>17716263
You're not her, it doesn't matter.

Some Anon with too much time on his hands has been pretending to post as me. Why, though?

I should have died two years ago, almost to the day, and every day since, I wish I had. Nothing good has happened in the past two years, and I am filled with regret.

For what it is worth, I am sorry. I wanted so much more, both from you, and myself.

- R

I hope you are happy, these days.

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I miss you K, wherever you are, i hipe you're safe

>>17716286
Explain more about yourself, I'd like to help.

Last night I think my girlfriend brought a coworker back to our apartment when I wasn't there. Didn't answer any of my questions, asked if she cheated on me and gave me a long blank stare before saying no. Not sure what to do, I feel like I don't trust her anymore.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND

>>17716414
Check her phone, she's suspicious as fuck and has lost your trust, fuck the people that say you are violating her privacy, she lost that right when she stopped communicating about a serious issue

>>17716265
and a paedophile,
Sucks to be her.

i have a huge cystic pimple on my back out of nowhere and it's really painful. i don't know how to get relief.

When you were as an angel in my arms,
Had laid your bare head just below my chin,
Your length pressed up to mine, entrusting charms
My whole youth's starward longing could not win;
With still the murmur of your love in me,
Miracle-tones of all my lifelong hope,
I wished that there might start eternity
And seal forever that sweet envelope;
And as it did, my thoughts are now for you
As every star is blotted by the sun,
And so the sun itself
Has perished too,
And with it, every dream of mine
But one.

>>17716459
>Check her phone
Fuck you and everyone like you who thinks invasion of privacy is no big deal. If you have to resort to that, you shouldn't even be in the relationship in the first place.

I want to eat a big fat greasy piece of meat or burger.

>>17716542
It's a serious deal but so is keeping secrets and being overtly suspicious when confronted with infidelity. She fucked up, he has a right to know why she isn't telling him the truth

>>17716557
The second you decide that you don't trust a partner enough to search their phone it's over. You either break up because you are right and she cheated or you are so paranoid you justify invading their privacy over nothing.

>>17716578
Youre placing too much blame on the victim. He asked her questions and she refused to answer them. She has already broken the trust, even if he searches her phone the trust was broken by her, not him. He has a right to know.

L
Hey it's been awhile, how are you? I checked on you for the first time in a while. Did you finally get to meet your dad? I want to tell you how happy I am for you on that. You'd probably passively shrug it off like always but oh well. I also want to tell you that I'm sorry for my behavior. It was quite obviously out of line and though I have zero regrets fucking with those people, but I'm sure it affected you because I know how you are and you're hatred for confrontation. I had a lot of time to think while I was over there as well. I thought about a lot of things, my flaws as a person (because lets face there was something wrong with me there is no denying that), what I'd need to do to change myself for the better, and you of course obviously. I kept thinking I'd just walk down the street or into a shop and you'd be there but you never were. It wasn't all doom and gloom though, I did enjoy myself while I was there. I disappeared for a bit because I needed to desperately work on myself as a person. I think you can understand that, seeing as you had to deal with it. I wish we could just talk things out in an honest, truthful matter, even if there were yelling. Most of my resentment has since passed and I feel as if my brain is in a healthier space then it was previously. I wasn't lying when I said you were perfect. You can have as low as a self-opinion about yourself as you want, but you will always be perfect to me; all your odd quirks included. I'd hate for something like that to be completely wasted because neither of us could communicate our problems and frustrations about each other. I'm happy and content with myself, I don't feel like I need somebody's love to feel happy or complete. I do miss you tremendously though. Try and sleep well tonight.

>>17715944
UNCONDITIONALLY fucking bong

>>17716480
Try aloe vera

>>17716605
You can't justify your own misdeeds based on the (perceived) fault of another. He needs to either try to reopen communication or bail the relationship. If he goes through her messages and finds nothing, will he feel better? What if they only talked in person? Or it was spontaneous after a few drinks? At best snooping might bring closure (would he feel better if he was right and she was cheating?), but it's not going to patch any of these serious trust issues.

>>17716605
No because that's botched logic.

It's a relationship and he's right. If you are at a point where you need to check the phone or email you should just break up.

Two wrongs don't make a right and it's a faulty conclusion anyways. Someone being uncooperative in a relationship does not give you the right to invade their privacy. If you see yourself not being able to trust someone isn't cheating is a red flag for the relationship probably the biggest red flag.

There can be conversations that are private just between two people not meant for his eyes because the other person doesn't want anyone but her to know.

Should she herself have personal secrets from him? No. But maybe her best friend doesn't anyone else to know about cancer, a divorce or a trial.

You never have the right to invade anyone's privacy unless you have clearance and if you don't like certain answers that doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want but rather means you need to be an adult and be responsible for your own life and decide if the relationship is worth to keep on going.

>>17716608
Initials?

>>17716660
Two wrongs do not make a right but walking away with the nagging feeling that you left on a misunderstanding will eat at him for life.

Uncooperative is a light word for what happened, uncooperative is when you tell someone to chew with their mouth closed and they don't. Infidelity is the ultimate violation of trust, not some minor trifle. Your botched logic will lead to this poor bastard walking away from a relationship based on a gut feeling. Do you know what kind of damage that will cause him over time? You seem to have things figured out but you have obviously never been cheated on to know how it feels and the damage that it can do to someone's psyche.

>>17716670
as

>>17716696
I don't think I know you, sorry.

dear m & d
You failed as parents. You don't deserve respect. You don't deserve me to "play nice" just because you have the title mom and dad.
Go fuck yourselves
Son.

>>17716717
Alright

>>17716693
>Infidelity is the ultimate violation of trust, not some minor trifle.
So his suspicions justify the penultimate violation of trust?

>Your botched logic will lead to this poor bastard walking away from a relationship based on a gut feeling.
And what happens if he finds nothing? The nagging feeling that she cheated wont just disappear, it will just get worse. He needs to think about what would convince him of her innocence and I doubt not finding a smoking gun text will put him at ease if he's worked up enough to go into her phone.

Once he searches her phone, he's subconsciously admitting the relationship is over.

>>17716693
This man knows his shit. I know it sounds stupid, but I've been there. We can't act on pure logic here, unfortunately.
It's a deadlock, either you check her phone and you get answers or you don't check and you'll never know what happened. Or what is happening.

She did that to me for months, until I finally emailed her conversation to myself and saw it all. I forgave her when she begged me, but she went and did it again a year later. Funny, innit?

What do I fucking say about you?

Its you and it's always been you and you know that. If you're ready to cut the shit i am too. Life is too short and there is a reason that nothing tops this. I really just need you to show me you are for real because you change your mind so much and try to tell me you didn't mean things later.

I don't want to be old and still thinking about everything we could have been together if you feel the same way. That's fucking stupid and not the people that we are.

>>17716693
So she is guilty until proven innocent?

The situation is called being shit out of luck but he has no right to invade her privacy.
Would it make him feel better? Who knows.
Would it be the right thing to do?
Definite no to that.
It's like saying being poor sucks so people should be allowed to steal because they are in a shitty situation that leaves them with no real positive options unless they go through hardships which would also suck.

That's not how it works, in life there will be moments when you have to accept the negative and only the negative because not everything can go your way. Would it be better if it wasn't that way? Yes it would be better but this is a lose lose situation and he has hardships before him that he has to deal with.

What if she didn't cheat? Should he be allowed to stay in a relationship with her seeing as he invaded her privacy because of his own shortcomings in his personality?

Is it not a big deal because he is the one hurting her and she isn't the one hurting him?

This is a moment where he has to decide what is more important to him, his integrity or his desire to control. If she doesn't find out and he can sleep at night knowing he's a bad person then he can suit himself.

But the right move would be to either fix these trust issues and if they don't dissappear to break up.

>>17716730
>It's a deadlock, either you check her phone and you get answers or you don't check and you'll never know what happened. Or what is happening.
The relationship is basically already over at this point. It's just a question of whether you get closure. Or if you're a cuck who doesn't know how to drop a treacherous whore.

babe i'm sorry i didnt mean to make you feel that way. i still love you even if you dont

>>17716756
>What if she didn't cheat?
I guarantee no one will answer this question. You just need to work under the assumption she cheated and was incredibly obvious about it.

>>17716730
No you're just also a bad person just as she is.

You were at a cross point for decisions.

If you really were the bigger person you would've broken up and worked out your issues and tried to become a better person.

Like I said, some situations will only end horribly for you. That you will need to work out your trust issues and find someone else to try to be in a relationship is going to be clear. The tust issues will be there if she cheated on you or not. You sold your integrity for self satisfaction.

You were going to feel like shit anyway but now you have proven yourself to be a bad person, but you probably don't care.

At the end of the day it's up to him to decide what he wants more, to be a good and better person or to be a bad person ''who was right with his suspicions'' for what that is worth.
Fact is this relationship is in a horrible spot as she won't communicate properly and he is ready to put his own needs before hers.

>>17716775
This sounds like my ex lol

Hungry as all hell

>>17716756
>>17716778
If she didn't cheat then he admits to looking at her devices and explains his reasoning which would be by stone walling and refusing to communicate and acting suspicious she gave him little choice. This could be a turning point for their relationship as now both parties can begin an honest discussion of what's going on. He only loses integrity if he is not honest about going through her phone. Partners in a relationship should have unrestricted access to each other's devices.

As for the rest of your post she's innocent until proven guilty and the only way to prove guilt is by obtaining evidence.

Love and betrayal are not logical, even though you're trying to make it out to be. There's no straightforward path with these affairs and knowledge is power. Cheaters like to manipulate the victim into thinking they're at fault. This is a common theme and it can do tremendous psychological damage to the victim. Your logical approach is setting this man up for disaster. Again, have you been cheated on? Because I have, I know, I have lived through it and I can tell you your bullshit logical approach only works in fairy tales.

Yea of course it was fine for you to treat & make me feel like fucking dogshit. It wasn't at your expense, SO WHO THE FUCK CARES

>>17716817
Whatever bullshit you tell yourself to sleep at night

Putting your own needs before that of others and trying to bullshit justify it.

You just care more about your own happiness than about the well being of other people and have no problems stepping all over them if it satisfies your desire, not everyone is like you.

Some people have backbone, you're not one of them.

I'm not going to keep arguing with you as you aren't even able to take responsibility for your wrongdoings. Yeah Yeah they are justified and you did no wrong, sure sure.

>>17716660
i just love these mental gymnastics people do to turn themselves in to victims
quite the feat, love that privacy and trust meme
if you have to keep secrets that aren't government security level validated then you don't need a relationship. go enjoy your freedom to keep shit to yourself by yourself. a relationship is about committing to the deepest level of intimacy, this is someone you spend your life with, this isn't some acquaintance you meet up with regularly to have sex.
people have been brainwashed by this opportunistic nonsense that conveniently gives them a way out when they fuck up. it's this culture of blame everyone but yourself. tired of it. you're not a victim because someone looks through your phone, sweetheart, i don't care what the other hens at jezebel say
relationships are becoming nothing more than glorified fuckbuddy contracts with added responsibilities, NONE OF WHICH APPARENTLY INCLUDE BEING OPEN AND HONEST.

>>17716840
I'm tired of debating with someone with no life experience. Earn your scars and then we can talk like men.

Fuck can I just message you and sort this shit out? I don't want that to be the last thing this fucking story ends on fuck. Yea, I fucked up and made mistakes, but so did you. Can we just be adults about this? Because I know if we could just throughly talk this out and release all these negative emotions about each other that we bottled up that we could fix this. Things really and honestly could work in the long term. Just let me start rebuilding the bridge.
A

Ever since I was a child, I liked playing computer games. I can recall clearly moments when I got my first computer, completed a StarCraft mission that seemed impossible for me at that age, struggled with Homeworld 2. One of the most memorable moments in my life is when I finally got Internet and learned to use a browser.
Time passed, I've became less sociable, stopped going outdoors in my free time. Suddenly I realised that I don't even know whom I'm going to be, in what university I will learn etc. I asked myself about it and got an answer that frightened me.
I want to earn lots of money to continue playing games.
I feel my priorities are wrong, but I can't do anything about it.

>>17716734
Alright than call

>>17716845
okay i see that infidelity or not, the relationship's going south when communication breaks down
but snooping should be seen as a symptom and not some "crime" that you use as a counter against someone committing infidelity or whatever. the person committing infidelity is just as guilty for the communication loss as the snooping person, so let's remember that.

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I turned 18 in August. Today I went out and early voted for Donald J Trump because i'm bitter that I don't get invited to parties.
fuck California. FUCK Troye Sivyan. And FUCK YOU

You just wanted to fuck other people, I'm not a fucking dumbass. What, did you thin I wouldn't piece it together? Like you ever gave a fuck it's not like you ever gave a shit about how much damage you fucking caused me. You never loved me that was a fucking lie

He never loved you at all are you stupid? He was a guy that had an affair with you. HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YOU TO THINK THAT'D EVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT EVER THE FUCK KIND OF DRUGS WERE YOU ON. Wouldn't be pissed about it if you did not bitch about him fucking constantly FUCK. You're still hung up on him and it's fucking pathetic honestly. You are everything you bitch about and hate in people you absolute fucking hypocrite.

>>17716848
>I'm tired of debating with someone with no life experience.
Maybe you should get some life experience yourself. Have you ever been on the receiving end? Finding out someone doesn't trust you that they have to go through personal messages when I never did anything wrong? Having them still not believe you even after all that and using it to justify their own cheating? Fuck you

need to bitch desu

>>17716870

>than call

It ain't you bb

what's it like being a winner?

I can't take it anymore. I'm emotionally stressed out. I had enough it's too much for me I hasd enough

4 weeks....everyone knows but me. On a scale of 1/10 how bad is it for me. how much of this is actual trolling. just curious.

>>17717007
no shit tard how'd you figure that out?

>>17717047
the hell are you even getting at?

I've come to the realization that I'm slowly getting tired of my closest friend that I know for 7 years.
We met in High school, went to college together and this year, for the first time, we separate ways.
We don't see each other that much anymore but call rather regularly. Last sunday I told him on the phone that I was going to a funeral a few days later. Today we went for a drink and talk. He told me about his new job (a lot), that girl flirting with him, video games, movies and tv shows. I asked him about his family because i've met most of them etc.
By the end of the night he never actually asked one single fucking question about me, the funeral (that he completly forgot about obviously ), what's going on in my life at the moment. Fucking nothing.
As long as we were studying together and saw each other nearly every day It was going great because we had time to talk about everything. Now I can finally see what's really important to him. Himself. And that's really depressing because it means that I'm slowly losing one the few friends I have.

You told me it was either breaking up with me or killing yourself. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel? Guess one of us has to kill themselves.

>>17717203
she can't kill herself if you kill her first

I want you back, but I'm so afraid of hurting you again.

You stopped replying to me right around the time I probably needed you the most. You're the only person I could talk to honestly about my emotions and now I've driven you away, I'm alone. I don't know what to do, I'm so scared. I wish I could just fall into your arms and weep like a fucking baby.

I'll never forgive myself for the shit I did to you, so I can't blame you for being gone. Despite that, imagining a future without you, you surrounded by new people, new experiences, me becoming a memory; it terrifies me so much that I can't bare it. My fears are so irrational, so paranoid and ironically you were the only one who I could talk to about this shit.

We dug up each others pasts and and it was just too much for you to handle. You probably thought you'd escaped one fire just as I started burning down our world. I should have helped you but I was too weak and I did the opposite. I hope your wounds are healing, I want that more than anything. I wish I could be there for you.

Despite it all, I'm still so scared of hurting you. The more you ignore me, the more I feel relief, that you're leaving behind a twisted man like me. You've had your share of bastard men from day one, go find yourself now, your happiness. Don't give your heart to another man before you're sure he's good. I beg you.

I love you.

I hate October. Just got to make it threw October 31st and I know I'll feel better. Every year October seems to be shitty. A few years ago I lost the best job of my life in October. That October I also fucked up with one of the the only person I've ever loved. And fucked up the first time I ever tried to kill myself, losing my gun and the easiest way I had out of this world. Last October I lost all my friends. This October I fucked up with a girl that took my virginity and was the most fun person I've ever been with as well as a failed overdose. And I dropped out of school this month.

Just a few more days and I'm done with this cursed month.

I think you left me because you think I'm better off without you in the long run, even if it hurts in the short run. I think you left me because you felt you were not good enough for me, or what you felt I wanted you to be. I think you believe I'll be over this soon, and I'll find someone else, someone better.

I don't want any of that. I want you, man. You're you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I need you.

>>17717370
Stop being afraid of hurting me. You can only hurt me by pushing me away.

I can't wait to date you and for us to be a couple. With you, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, please don't move away

>>17717389
Tell me why I should stay?

>>17717389
But I got school & shit

If you feel the same, you'll help me find a way

I love you

You've turned me into Helen hunt from castaway

What even are these games

Next level

yeah I'm done.

Only gotta resist it for less than a minute before I black out. Then the next 20minutes are set as long as the rope doesn't break.

So taking a bunch of sleeping aids first would help reduce the struggle right? Less likely to pussy out if you're too drugged up to do anything about the inevitable end.

I saw your private playlists what was on 'em

Randomly thought about the first time you swallowed my dick.

I cum far too much, luckily you had a fetish for it.

Half a decade ago.

>>17715944
>You made me break my promise, and it haunts me. It tortures me.
>I can't take responsibility for my actions so I'm blaming you by saying "you MADE ME break my promise

>>17717762
Music I want to sample

I could've easily have gotten an A on the midterm if I had asked someone for their notes, but I was too nervous. Honestly, even getting a B minus probably isn't the end of the world even if it was for the midterm, but doing that poorly makes me want to kill myself. I don't think I would ever follow through with it, but doing well in school is/was pretty much the only thing I'm good for. Without that, I'm worthless. I have no skills, my social life is non-existent, my dad hates me, and I'm far too stupid for any worthwhile major. All I've ever wanted was to have a decent job to support myself, but I don't know if it will ever happen. I'm not going to stop trying, but I fear I'm destined to be nothing more than a burnout NEET. I laugh a little inside when I hear someone tell me how they wish they were still in college and how it was the best years of their life. My therapist tells me she can help me work on my confidence, but I just don't know if it can happen. Tonight, some people were ripping on me for doing poorly in Overwatch and I'm still thinking about it. I wish I wasn't so fucking pathetic.

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A friend of mine might be missing, but also might just be on a spontaneous trip, and I have no clue what to do other than wait.

I went to homecoming and stood there pretty much alone during slow dances while my crush would just stand with his friend, or go into the hall. I also witnessed two whores who were shaking their asses on each other, started shaking their asses literally on my crush's ass, he didn't try to stop them. I'm still fucking pissed. I'm pissed because of all that and the mixed messages he's been giving me.

So many missed opportunities in my life cause I was too much of a pussy to take advantage of them. I regret my life and where I am now. Suicide isn't an option anymore cause I don't want to hurt my family so now I have a plan to turn my life around. It sucks that I've wasted so many years but fuck it. I got a few of my issues worked out now, like got in shape and lost my virginity. Now time to fix the financial mess that is my life. It will take a little time but I've got a plan to fix that by the end of 2017. Then I can finally start over and actually live my life. I recently had some issues that made me realize my priorities and I'm finally motivated to get out of this bad place that I am in. And it feels good to finally have a real goal to work towards. I'm done being broken. No more. Fuck the past, here's to the future.

I have Halloween weekend off with loads of money and I'm sitting here jerking around. Why can't I be normal rather than walk around smoking pot?

I have someone who I'm interested in, and who's definitely interested in me, but she's been very upfront about the fact that she's poly.
I feel like shit for being so strongly against getting involved in a poly relationship, especially with her because she's wonderful and amazing, but I know the thought of her going out and hooking up with other people and treating it like it's nothing would fuck me up bad.
How are you supposed to deal with this?

fucking monday cannot come soon enough.

fucking killing myself the minute the package get's delivered.

I need to stop doing things for her.
I need to start doing things for me.

It may get better and it may get worse.
But atleast I'm doing it for me.

This one time... In band camp, I...

>>17716954
I do love her.

Why can't I meet a nice man with a thick cock?

>>17717999
because u cucked them unknowingly

>>17718005
Nah. The men with thick cocks I've been with have cucked me. They're mean.

Nice men with thick cocks don't exist. I can totally do a four or five inch cock, but it needs girth.

I feel like the biggest piece of shit. Tomorrow, I'm going to tell a really close friend of mine that I don't want to see her or talk to her for a while. I have a thing for her, but she's not interested, yet we have a class together and regularly text each other. I really do want to be friends, but right now I just can't be around her. I know it's the right thing to do, but I still feel horrible. I hope she understands.

Love3eeeee u baby ur soon amazing guckn y xan5 we get married we'Lloyd just have amz x ingredients sex and just do what w3 want. Fucin in2ad only so mad because u wr UT r fucking perfect fuck I lov ed u so much &; justv wantednb to bump be there with seal fuf stay pu r

Going days without talking to anyone is driving me insane.

Going months without intimate contact is making me want to kill myself.

I'm so tired of being alone. I don't know what to do. How did I find myself in this hell, and how do I escape it?

I just want to fall in love and start a family. That's all I've ever fucking wanted.

Fuck me for got infatuated so easily. Fucking idiot idiot idiot

Just what the fuck happened.
I broke up with you, I didn't die, you didn't have to fucking overreact. I don't know what you told everyone but why do you want everyone to hate me? What the fuck is wrong with you? I broke up with you because you are a manipulative coward and you hate youself. You told me how wrong I was but then, you spend fucking 3 days blackmailing me about how you are going to kill yourself. I AM THE VICTIM I don't get how you got everyone to believe you. And even if I had broken up with you because I hate you, or because I cheated on you or whatev, it is still an overreaction. Do you fucking know what you made me go through? I had to fucking call the police in Tijuana and had everyone at your school looking for you. Because you are a coward, and you want to have me, and you hate yourself and you are so so so good at hiding your true self I spent 1 and a half years with you and traveled with you and shit and IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND you where this crazy. I truly loved you, and I still do, but I don't ever ever want to be near you, baecause you are fucking nuts, and you are so fucking smart and I don't know what you are capable of. You are like a Kira, and I still can't believe it.


PEOPLE, if you think you know someone, check twice, I was JUST ABOUT to go and live with this guy who turned out to be a phsyco. And I always thought this happened only to stupid people.

Dear entitled stupid bitch

could talk to any girl and get her to send me nudes within an hour. Another 30 minutes she will touching herself on cam for me.

Maybe stop ignoring me then??? Don't need your shit.

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>>17715581
I'm in love with my current.
a lot...
I can't even begin to describe the dynamic that we have together, a good example would be when you appeased both Tetris god, and RNGesus and you became the holy profit of Tetris, only getting a perfect game with everything falling into place in just the right spots like a TAS run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIy7xF68H1w
but I just had a nightmare, where my ex raped me, my current thought i was cheating on her and left me;
I woke up in a sweat, right next to current and huge sigh of relief.
still hurt though... I'm not mad at anyone, or anything. just wanted to get_it_off_my_chest.png
but i dunno guys
thanks for reading my blog post

Do you even know I have a YouTube channel? You did share one of my videos awhile back on your Facebook but I have zero clue of you even realized that was me

I feel like I've wasted the best of my life and have no real reason to stay alive. I'm always torn between forging a new direction, killing myself, or killing myself and as many other bottom feeders as possible so I could at least feel decent in my last moments knowing I left the planet a slightly better place.

>>17718193
why do you need her to stop ignoring you then

>>17715638
same here anon. dont worry, i'm sure some day we'll forget

>>17718303
don't want the other girls, want her. come on can only take so much

>>17718136

I hear you man. That's all I ever wanted to. Yet the only girls ever to tolerate me eventually got tired of me eventually. So fuck it and fuck the world. Live for yourself, at least that's what I tell myself when i think about being unlovable

"I miss you anon"
Yeeeah nope, you miss my wallet you fucking cunt
You feel bad now that you don't have your idiot around right?
Anyways, you said it "wasn't the same as before" and ffs I'll make sure it stays like that.
Bitch.

>>17718310
you want her only because you cant have her

>>17718136
Me too anon :- (

>>17718370
She fills my idea with insane love ramblings then ignores me for a week. border to the line

I'm at a loss on how to express my thoughts when I talk to someone who I don't know about personally.

Last week at class there was a big dispute over this one teacher doing his job rather poorly. Some people wanted to kick him out right away but I didn't really think things should be rushed like that. We waited for his last class and he actually listened to our request like I thought he would.

After class I noticed that there were things he wasn't aware of that sparked this whole protest against him and I wanted to let him know so he would understand the situation a little bit more. Surely enough, while I was trying to tell him all of this we caught up with 2 classmates and this allowed a good conversation to flourish about how to solve these issues and what to expect. I thought it was a great thing that I approached him at the moment that I did to clear the air.

The thing is that I was really nervous while trying to express my thoughts about the situation and he wasn't following half of the time. I achieved my goal, which was to talk these things through, but I did a shoddy job getting there because even though I'm almost 30, I still see teachers as authority.

i'm so lonely. love has broken me too many times, I think. I always fall too hard, and fail to act quick enough. I'm always waiting not for the perfect someone, but the right someone, and every time I find a person I think I can truly love I just don't have the balls to act on it quick enough...

It's funny, really. I must be attractive or at least charming because it's not like I -can't- get a girl, it's all almost too easy, actually. But.. I can't just woo a girl and romance her a night...I tried once and to this day I feel guilty about it.

I just want someone I can truly rely on, and love, and be loved by. It's like everyone around me is so obsessed with one-nights or perfect romances... I just want a real relationship, y'know? And when the chance comes I always miss it.

Oh woes is me, throw me a pity party, I know.

But I'm drunk and very sad.

I'm desperate. There's this one girl that seems a bit awkward but is really touchy with me. She really loves grabbing me, hugging me and such. A few days ago I was asked to accompany her somewhere, she's seen some couple holding hands and she was pretty much telling me how she misses that. Like the piece of shit that I am I didn't do that, and that might have been a cue.

The issue is, she's just recently been out of a relationship for cheating with some other dude.

So she's been told to fuck off by her ex, and told not to get with the guy she's cheated with either. She's been asking for advice, staring at me like she wanted the right answer, a justification for what she's done. I told her that time fixes shit and that I wasn't too experienced on that.

Anyways, the issue is that she seems to look at me as an emotional tampon and I'm trying very hard to tell myself that my interpretation of events is wrong and that she's just energetic and affectionate but my dick is sort of fighting my brain here.

>>17716863
Anon, why don't you just talk to them instead of leaving a message here?

So my bestfriend and i are having a really hard time, she gave me advice on not to trust people and i did cuz im a stupid fuck. She fooled me, whatever not that hurt. What im hurt bout is hurting my bestfriend, she is super mad and said she cant forgive me over she always giving me advice and like she said "you do whatever the fuck you want anyways" that's not true, i simply trusted that girl cuz i felt confident that if she fooled me i wouldnt be hurt, and im not. Im sorry love, im super sorry i hurt you, please give me another chance, dont give up on me. You know how important you are to me.

I'm sorry that I cheat on you constantly but you're bad in bed and have a limp dick :(

I still love you though x

No one is perfect, yet our relationship is. It's not a need to try to be something more, it's just right, and better than I expected, how I feel about you, I didn't know how I would know when or how, but I just do

my life would be peaceful as hell right by now if I wasn't so obsessed with helping every person I meet. but nope, gotta insist on being a masochist and fucking myself daily for people who couldn't possibly care any less for me

I'm meeting a friend for lunch. I would love to catch up with you this evening though, if you're free. I miss you madly alrready

Not online though, in person

I want to talk to you, I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, but I don't want to be a fedora tipper like Rick Astley or that guy who keeps bothering you with messages because you gave him a mixed signal and then backpedaled (btw you should really just tell him to stop messaging you lol)
I don't know if there'd be a point in talking anyways - no matter what I tell you, won't I still feel like I have more to say? I kinda backed off last time even though we touched the topic up. I really want to let it all out and I want to just spend time with you as friends, and forget any deeper feelings I have for you somehow.
I think my self-esteem issue is creating a problem here.

R-

Game over. I'm engaged. This time next year I'll be creating a life in a foreign country with my new husband. Everything I wanted.

-K

I love her

Used to date this girl occasionally so I randomly asked if she'd be up for another round and she's game. Will probably have to work on it over the next few days but hoping for a fuck.

Fortunate since I'm gagging for it atm.

I fucking hate it when you giggle and say "Oh how did we lose???" or "What? Are they winning?" after we've clearly lost a competitive match in the game. You're just a terrible player and you don't realize it. I don't care what we do in other modes but it pisses me off that the rest of our team is trying so hard in competitive but you don't take it seriously and space out the whole time and say that "we" need more communication skills when all I hear from you in the entire match are screams when you're about to die.

>>17718515
Idk how she'd react

>>17719077
Leave people alone you weird creeper

>>17719048
Vidya games or actual sports?

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A-

Well, well looks like the tables are turning, weeks ago i just wanted to keep my workout become stronger and prove to everyone that you always complain like a little bitch

well im becoming stronger, but the funny thing is that i haven't done anything yet and now everyone knows your true self, you just stopped going to class, you failed at your favorite subject and instead of fighting you just decided to say screw everything

Your pesimistic attitude is now making me look great, and you know, now that im going out with P i don't care about S, but R laughed his ass off when S forgot your name, i think R likes S, and he already made everyone realize that you are being really shitty in your relationship too,not to mention that apparently you never broke up with your ex, i promise i will help R make you break up with S

The way i feel right now is how Luigi must feel when he wins at mario party by doing absolutely nothing

well you know what man, you can still change this, but im not going to help you with that, i'll just see how this ends from my seat

>>17718312
Having a family is the only thing I live for though. I just can't find a good guy and am super lonely and unhappy.

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I'm very anxious about telling the woman that I have feeling for about these feelings. I've stopped eating very much, I get sad easier, and I workout more. I just want this anxiety out of my heart so I can move on with my life but I haven't summoned up the courage to tell her yet. I'm pretty sure she's secretly involved with another one of my friends and I'm worried that I'm going to hurt both of my relationships with them when I do come out with my feelings. But, I refuse to be quiet about what I feel because that wouldn't be fair to me and I'm tired of bottling up how I feel about people. I want to be the one that's happy and not be the one thats happy for everyone else. It's selfish but...I think I've done my fair share of being the "good guy".

M, happy birthday..
-anon

I'm really confused. I don't know what I should do. Could it be that.....?
But I don't want to speculate anymore. I'm tired of it. Please just get off from my mind for a while, will you? I have lots of work to do.

>got my own car
>Got my own place
>Making 3k a month at 20
>Volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends, food pantry once month
>Donated 500 dollars in toys to toys for tots last year
>Still feel like I'm not good enough to have a gf

>>17719324
why?

That was a pleasant surprise.

Managed to meet up with a girl that seemingly friendzoned me. Turns out that she just did't want to do anything at the time relationship wise.

Now today, we were able to get talking for a hour or so, and it seemed like we had some chemistry. At the end, when I was getting up to leave, she leaned in and kissed me.

>>17719351
>Girl of my dreams cheated on me and told me I wasn't good enough for her a year ago
>I'm a fat fuck 220lbs at 6'4"

"I didn't have any friends growing up" you say as you have two childhood friends you want to move in with. You say as you met up with one of them yesterday. You say as you tell me all these stories about what you and your friends did when you were in school.

>>17719381
>I'm a fat fuck 220lbs at 6'4"
That's not fat, onii-chan. Maybe get some hobbies that are slightly less autistic than volunteering, like bike riding or mountain climbing or something. You'll find a nice gal. Just don't get comfortable with some abusive slut because your self-esteem keeps telling you that it's all you deserve. Promise me.

>>17719381
>I'm a fat fuck 220lbs at 6'4"

Not at all. Maybe marginally overweight at best.

Similar to 180lbs @ 5' 9"

>>17719425
180 at 5' 9" is fat as shit (assuming that's not muscle) lmao

>>17719299
You're cool but

>>17719437
Not at all. Lets use the kinda terrible BMI scale.

(Normal weight is 18.5-25)

180 @ 5'9" is 26.6 (Overweight)
220 @ 6'4" is 26.8 (Marginally higher than 180@ 5' 9)


Not fat as shit, but a little overweight

Why the fuck did you ghost me after I comforted you because your ex was trying to contact you? Fucking bitch. Last time I open up to a girl.

>>17719216

I hear you. I feel that way too sometimes. Sometimes I would give anything just to not feel so lonely. I mean I've had friends but humans biology tells us to reproduce and the fact I've failed at that makes me feel lonely all the time even when surrounded by people. Life's cruel, either keep going or give up.

>>17719439
But what?

Melissa gies a wave

>>17719406
What's autistic about volunteering? I enjoy helping my community become stronger.

I've been considering taking up hiking. Seems like something healthy that I can do.

Yesterday I had the best sex in my life. This guy is miracle, so touchy and sensitive. He loves to pay attention to the woman. And it's so awesome when you're holding someone you like in your arms and fucking with someone you truly care for.

You didn't call or text me last night. And I doubt you will today.. I guess you are still upset about our last phone convo. Seriously? Well, whenever you are ready to talk. I will be here. Hope you are well.

>>17715581
I regret not telling my mother that you told me to kill myself after everything we went through, you are a piece of shit and I will never see what my mother sees in you.

I fucking hate my brain. Why is it that I have to suffer for a chemical fucking imbalance that I didn't even fucking choose and then everyone acts like it's my fault that I struggle? What the Fuck?

sorry for this shit post i have nobody to talk to


>break up with boyfriend over summer, because he's going to college and he didn't seem that into me anymore
>said he was getting bored after dating 2 years
>made me sad, but i broke up with him because it needed to be done
>have like one friend, and a couple other sorta friends
>last year of high school .jpg
>inb4 "mods" -i turned 18 in september
>cut off all contact with bf because i wanted to move on with my life
>heard from my only one good friend that bf (let's call him james) isn't doing well in college
>hadn't talked to bf in two months
>decided to talk to him at the v beginning of october because my friend told me he was getting into drugs heavy and i wanted to at least talk to him because i missed him
>james had been making efforts for 2 months before then to get ahold of me
>james now seems like a totally different person and is now doing heavy drugs and wants to professionally dj as a career now
>used to spurn the idea of any drugs and wanted to be an engineer or vet
>v sad for james
>v sad for my 2 year relationship
>agreed to be friends with james and hookup with him when he comes home for breaks bc no sex feels bad man
>james says he doesn't want to date at all, but wants relationship to be more than a friends w benefits type
>ok james.jpg whatever
>recently found out that my one good friend whom i trusted dearly is going 6 hours to stay with james in his dorm and party with him for a weekend
>feel so betrayed
>will no talk to any of them ever again
>finally done talking to x bf, i'll just wait until college next year to make new friends

in the meantime, socially isolating myself and the fact that my friend betrayed me has me extremely depressed. i hope i can get through until graduation in may. it just sucks man. sorry for the rant

>>17719095
what the fuck do you think?
e-sports breeds a bunch of whiny, sedentary perpetually adolescent boy cunts
he's lucky he has friends to bitch about in the first place

>>17719669
Initials?

I want to text or call you but a part of me feels like you're still the one who should initiate it first. Probably just me being too prideful.

I'm a piece of shit. I've done nothing right for the last 3 years and if I carry on, this will be the end.I'm a lazy, egotistic piece of shit that doesn't deserve neither to live nor attention, and that's why I'm posting here. I see that people around me always have problems and I believe I'm the cause even if I don't see a direct correlation. I want to be better and yet I keep getting worse. There is to many I and me in this post ; fuck I and let me go.

>>17718788
lmao

>>17715581
I`m (secretly) a satanist, I praise satan at least 50 times a day and I cant help it, its rather disturbing desu.
I also secretly wish I were a girl..

I lost the candy cane but I still have everything else. Couldn't force myself to get rid of it all, despite the nasty things I said to you. I guess that means I'm the one who was full of shit then huh?

>>17719926
I also grown superstitious, there are certain things I cant talk to others about without some sort of incident.

Boy I hope I can get this homework done

I met you 3 years ago and I've never grown so close to someone so quickly. We became best friends. We kind of caught feelings for each other but I had to move across the planet back to my home country 2 years ago so we couldn't get into a real relationship. We promised to stay in touch.

And despite the distance, despite the time difference, despite every single odd being stacked against us, we kept growing closer. And we fell in love with each other.

And when we confessed, it was amazing. But both of us didn't want to jump into a relationship, so we agreed to wait until we could meet in person. You had agreed to visit me next summer. We were both so excited.

But until then, we weren't in a relationship, and we agreed we could see other people as long as we let each other know. And maybe this was stupid, but it was a mutual decision that we had both agreed to. It felt like the best thing to do.

And it worked for a while.

But then I kissed an old flame at a party about 3 months ago. It meant nothing. I let you know right after as usual, not expecting any backlash. If I expected backlash I wouldn't have done it.

But I got a backlash.

I begged and pleaded but you wouldn't come back. Sometimes I'd make some progress but after a couple days of talking you'd go cold again. And because I so broken, I didn't think about the effect this was having on you. I didn't give you space, I kept bothering you, and you grew to resent me for it. I was trying to fix things because I loved you and you're worth fighting for, but I just made things worse.

And it turns out, a few weeks after I kissed that old flame, you started seeing someone new. I don't know if he's just a rebound to get thru the pain, but you say you don't even care about me anymore. That can't be true, right? We were close for so long.

We haven't spoken in a month now. I've given you a month's worth of space. I may try messaging you tomorrow, but I don't know yet.

I don't know what to do. I love you so much.

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I miss you so much, but by all means just please be safe and don't be dead, T. Let's talk again soon, after all these years.

>>17720071
Initials?

>>Be me
>>Full-time student
>>Full time job
>>Part Time Job too
>>Been with SO for 10 years.
>>SO has FT job
>>SO comes home and does nothing but play video games
>>Ask for help with household chores
>>SO agrees
>>Lasts 2 days, then starts bitching about it
>>A month later, he decides we should buy a house together
>>Agree because we've planned for it for a while
>>He decides that we have to find it in the next few months, even though our lease isn't up until the end of the year.
>>Finds an okay house.
>>I suggest we keep looking for something better. We've got time.
>>He decides NO, we're getting this one.
>>Don't argue, because there's more important things to worry about.
>> I'm super stressed because of mid-terms and PT job being busy
>>Now I'm stuck packing the entire apartment on top of that.
>>To move to a house that I don't actually like.
>>Ask SO for help again.
>>Same song and dance as before

How the hell does folding one load of laundry ONCE constitute equal sharing of the burden?! I'm your partner, not your fucking house-keeper. I have shit to do that is WAY more important than washing your goddamned laundry! You're not a fucking child, and I am not your mother. Seriously, the dirty dish-water isn't going to melt your skin. I have a 6 page paper due tonight about the emotional journey of young men as examined via allegory in Beowulf. And then a test tomorrow on the physiology of the lungs and circulatory system. But heaven forbid you have to wash a goddamn spoon for your cereal you man-child!
I'm glad my name won't be on the title. I probably won't last another year in this relationship if something doesn't give.

>>17720089
M. L.
Probably won't be me you're thinking of

>>17720095
I think you are. Shit

>>17720105
Then just tell me my family name

>>17720105
>>17720112
Last name because my first name is not common and therefore more identifiable

He said he loves me and my heart races so fast that i think i won't be able to sleep tonight. Happiness.

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Lately, my life feels like a videogame. I'm doing the exact same shit with my life I was doing half a year ago, but problems seem bigger and resources fade. And these lasts weeks have brought lots of problems, one after another.

>My laptop breaks, for no apparent reason. The tool I use the most for working. Its only replacements are either a simple iPad with a tenth of the content or an enormous and faulty laptop that I have to carry with a trolley.

>My best friend is not my best friend anymore. Long story short, she wants to hire thugs to stab, rape or beat some girl she hates, and I can't allow that.

>My fanny pack was stolen, with my wallet and many things of sentimental or practical value inside. It was kinda my fault, for leaving it unattended, but it still troubles me.

>Becaus eof the lack of wallet, I lost some documents needed to get a scholarship.

>For some reason, lately I've been lacking money. Getting robbed, not being able to use debit card, not having time to go to the bank, having to ask my mother for cash and getting her angry...

>I betrayed a friend's trust. She told me she finds cute a male friend of mine, I told my friend in hopes he scored... but word got around and my female friend found out. It is still my fault, but it has come to bite me in the ass at a very bad time. I, also am in love with this girl. She only wants me as friend. Or maybe she doesn't anymore.

>Another friend of mine has confessed her love to me recently. And while I find her cute and would like to try something I can't fully return her feelings.

>My 3DS has stopped working for unknown reason this afternoon. Even though recently I paid 40 bucks to fix it.

My life's not the worst. I have friends with bigger problems. But that means I have to hide my kiddie pain and be strong for others. I can't even allow me to validate my suffering.

Everything seems to be going downhill so fast...

>>17720105
>>17720112
>>17720122
Alright because you won't take a guess I'll tell you it's Lian but am I the one you thought of?

fucking did it again didnt i. great... everyone hates me again i cant win this shit is just gonna keep spinin and im stuck on the ride cuz i cant die soon enough and life is too tough and i cant get a grip on reality. my head is spinnin like a person on a can of whippits no i aint did it and i never will but still somehow i feel the way i feel. just tell me to fuck off that would be the way i wont bother you agin its all you have to say but you wont youll just drag me along and talk shit time and time again and in mean time pretend that your my best friend well fuck it. ill keep playing your game i guess

Dulcineé,

I still don't understand at all. Why did you have to do that? I miss you like I've never missed anyone, just like I love you like I've never loved anyone. I keep praying to gods I don't believe in for you to come back and tell me it was all a mistake. I lost myself in you, but now that I've found myself again, I'm still missing you. We both made so many mistakes. Let's learn from them instead of throwing everything away. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I know you miss me too, and I know you love me too. Please come back to me, I need you. I offer you my all, and ask only for your love.

Sisyphus

>>17720145
Dude. You have no patience at all, you know? No wonder she won't talk to you.

>thought I was 24 this year
>discovered I was actually 25

this doesn't make me feel any better about being a complete failure

It just hit me that I know four people who suffer from crippling social anxiety and still manage to have significant others. I don't have any social anxiety, I'm not afraid to approach strangers, I've been told by several people that I'm very good at making others laugh, and, not only have I not had an S.O. in five years, I don't even have any real friends at the moment. I don't get it. Why is this so difficult for me? I mean, I already kind of have an answer to that question, but at this point, I'm tired of blaming. I just want to something to happen. I don't know how four people I know who are literally afraid of going outside manage to have this, but I honestly don't see why it's so hard for me to make it happen as well.

D

Why do you make me hate you? We've been on and off for so much, you always want to fight, it's just everyday with you something, you yelled at me today for asking how your night was, and clearly youre hiding something. I never get it with you, you used to make me so happy but now you make me depressed. I get that you've been in the dumps for a while, and Im trying my best to be there for you, I just wish things were better between us, and I hate to say, but this going south is strictly your fault. You wrecked this by your constant mood swings, your failure to seek help, and your constant complaining. Just leave this please, we both know this is ending, we both feel mutual, I just wanna start seeing other people.

The one that I want seems to like me back but I don't know if it's for real or not, she says she's been hurt before and doesn't want a relationship too soon, but I just have this awful feeling that she's probably still dating someone and I'm just another fucking side piece

I despise this world, not because I am miserable, but because it is not really possible to be anything els e than miserable in this world. I am a gnostic. I believe this world was created by a retarded demiurge and that we're all paying, but don't worry. We'll return to heaven soon enough. I'll die and be released from my fleshy prison and understand what my purpose on earth might be. As far as I understand it, my purpose is to help other people, but I hate having this purpose. I hate that there's anybody that needs my help, that this world is so full of people that need help and that I have to help.

Can I send you a letter?

A few weeks ago, I met this girl. She was the first strange girl I talked to in a long time, and we hit it off pretty well. She was cute, we were able to make each other laugh pretty easily, and she actually seemed kind of into me. I wanted to ask her for her number, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because she told me that she had just barely gotten out of a relationship. I think enough time has passed since then that it's safe for me to ask her for her number, but I haven't seen her in so long that and I'm starting to wonder if maybe I made the wrong choice. She seemed interested in me, and what if I never see her again? Of course, I may seem silly still thinking about a girl I have only briefly met and haven't seen in weeks, but despite all the girls I've met this month, I haven't been able to connect with any of them the way I connected with this one.

Well...
This is a farewell, I suppose.
There is not much I can do now, this is the last place we'll ever meet again.
Fuck, even writing a text that you won't ever read is hard. I find my chest heavy and I'm about to cry but I'm happy at the same time, 'cause I know you're happy without me.
Yet I feel like screaming how much I miss our conversations and those little moments. They were short but the most special ones in my life.
Você me fez querer viver de novo.

God, I hate my mother in law so much. She is an evil bitch.

>>17720738
Initials?

J(uliet),

I told you I couldn't be your friend. That was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It hurts to be away from you. I miss you. I hate the way things are between us. Can't we stop caring about all the unnecessary things and just love each other. Isn't there anything I can do? Isn't there anything you can do? I need you to hold me.

I know I told you we couldn't be until one of us changed their minds, and I know you're not changing yours, and I know I can't change mine. Isn't there any other way out of this? I miss you, you pretty-faced, evil android.

D(ulcinée)

Yeah, I think I'm going to send you a text tonight. Either tonight or tomorrow. It'd be too difficult to coordinate a call because I have zero clue what your hours or schedule even is at this point in time

>>17720738
Initials needed anon

>>17720094

Fucking dump hi you dumb ass. Why in the hell would you ever put up with that? He's never going to stop being a lazy cunt, and he's using you. Have a back bone, reading this is just infuriating and pathetic.

Fuck, I miss the dumb autistic shit we did sometimes. In all honesty, it was dumb autistic shit, but christ did it feel right with you. You probably fucking hate me for the shit I pulled and I wouldn't blame you. Feel like Amir for fucks sake lmao. I still have to finish that, it's still lying around, just like everything else.

I had such a breakthrough moment with a friend of mine the other day and now I think I'm in love with her.

I was always attracted to her but like, who cares.
But we hung out for the first time in months and we had a connection and it's killing me that she's leaving again.

I think understand the bullshit about love and I hate that I do.

>>17720910
What's the story anon? I'm sure your friend doesn't hate you

>>17719257
Fuck MB

I really enjoyed holding your hand while yoked, like ridiculously so. I know its just E feels and it'll wear off after a while but cant help but get butterflies thinking of it haha, its just so weird.
I'm not even gay, the fuck, you're just kinda cute and such good fun and I'm so alienated from girls these days. Would be nice you felt somewhat the same way even though it would be a huge clusterfuck.

>>17719189
OMG let it goooooo!!!!


FYI you are the shitty person. You're the one obsessing over your friend, trying to "beat him".

>>17721041
not a friend, an ex. Huge falling out when we broke up because I was so blinded by my own emotions. Idk, just want to make things somewhat right between the two. I doubt she'd fully forgive me though.

>>17721066
im either going nuts or your my ex because the diction is damn near identical

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I jerk off to Pikachu

No regerts

>>17716165
Dont think about it. It'll only embarass you. Trust me...

I'm a single 24/m/het virgin whos attracted to degradation, humiliation, and generally femdom without the ridiculous commissar peaked caps and whips and whatever. I get off to this really easily because I fucking hate myself, and during those periods of time where I actually have some level of respect for myself this does nothing for me but I also have almost no sex drive during those times. I'm only horny if I'm miserable.

How the fuck do I undo this fetish? I'm not about to spend the rest of my life this way, but I don't know where to begin. How do I respect myself more, I guess?

>>17719771
Just do it, don't be a pussy.

>>17721109
You're associating your fetish with your general mindset.

You can be confident and respect yourself while also like being dommed.
The two are not opposites.

What it seems you want is to feel more confident about yourself.
The gym helps me a lot in that regard. And so does working on things that matter like my career or my family.

>>17721113
alright u fuckin cunt

>>17721121

See, I've been doing the same thing but I've met with less success. I've been hitting the gym twice a week (which is as often as I can with my current schedule) and I'm perfectly employable but I can't find a job that I can support myself on enough to move out of my parents' house. For the past three and a half months I've worked at a job where the pay was good and the work was easy but the boss was such a complete raving lunatic that I had to hand in my letter of resignation thursday, and I'm looking for jobs again but I'm not sure I'll be able to find anything full time. I'm just trying to get to the point where I've got my own car, my own apartment, and my own savings account and health insurance, but my goal was to have those things by the time I'm twenty five and at this rate its looking like I'm gonna fail that goal. Shit's depressing, anon.

>>17721139
I'm 27 now.
I've had a lot of failures and a lot of successes.
I'm not an expert nor am I experienced in every way.
But I think I can offer some kind of advice from time to time.

Your problem is that you are associating happiness with success. You have it all tied together like a chain. If any part is hanging low, then it drags all the other links down.

In reality, it's all separate.
Jobs, family, relationships, happiness.

Your happiness is independent of your life's goals.
So long as you're working on things, you can be happy.

It's weird how your perspective on past situations change as time goes on. I can't believe I actually felt bad for that whole mess. I did everything I could to try to stay friends with you, but you made it impossible. You were insufferable to be around and we couldn't hang out without hearing you bitch about my relationship and giving me shit for just trying to make it work. Was it a healthy relationship? No. Not at all. And now I know that. But you'd think that instead of dropping our friendship, you'd be there to help me. So what did I apologize for??? For making YOU upset? I was in an abusive relationship, and you just fucking bailed on me! What kind of best friend does that? I don't know when or where you got that ugly ego of yours, but I'm glad I don't know you anymore.

My friend who rejected me like 3 times came to a halloween party in a sexy alice in wonderland costume. Fucking hell, shes always had legs for days, but goddamn.

Either way, dont like her anymore cause she barely contacts me. Bitch kept fibding reasons to sit next to me and was like, "Oh anon you like my costume?"

Yeah, you're hot as fuck, anyone with eyes knows that. Now stop being a cunt and trying to make me into an orbiter, I havent contacted you first in months.

This bitch is such an attention whore, stop leading people on asshole.

i started to have feelings for a collague that i really appreciate but i have gf and now my head want to explode because i don´t know what to do

>>17721186
One in the hand is worth two in the bush

>>17715581
>Broke up with my first gf after about 20 months together
>Got back together about 8 months later
>11 months later, we're on the verge of a breakup for the same reasons of the first time

Why do I even bother when we are getting back together the next summer

>>17721194
Honestly, don't.

She's your first girlfriend.
That's often a factor of being "the first person interested and available".

Let her go.
Find a second and grow

>>17721188
yeah i know, the real fucking problem is that i have a long distance gf because i had to move from my city to work

>>17721194
As someone who has gone through something similar, it's not worth it. This will just end up being a pattern that is hard to get out of. Just end it now and move on.

>>17721214
Oh, I had a second, it was scary af

But you guys are probably right, it's just that we've already been together for so long right now that we're kinda stuck with each other, but I'm gonna try to free us from this cycle

I've had suicide on my mind a lot recently. I feel like I can't take myself serious and that I'm don't know how to enjoy something.

>>17721286
Read Camus.

It'l help.
The basic message is that life isn't meant to be taken seriously.
It can't be.
Life is a pointless and futile gesture in a uncaring meaningless universe.
So while you're alive in this arbitrary period of non-importance, have fun and don't give a shit.

I know I'm a huge cunt for doing it, but idc.
I'm trying to ghost this guy and he is making it realll fucking hard lol. About to change my damn snap chat, but I really liked my username.
Figured I was going to be a cunt no matter what I did, I'm a cunt to reject him for no good reason and I'm a cunt to ghost him, at least in the latter he gets his pride. Guess I'm just going to have to tell him to fuck off and I don't even want to be friends.

>>17721324
I've been ghosted enough times to know that eventually he'll give up

But I stopped looking for her at all because it hurts.
Maybe he's obsessive and won't.
Who knows

I've getting older and things are making me cry.

Parents and children, to be specific

London or Calgary for New Years?

>>17721330
Yeah like idk what its gonna take. I met him like a month ago, saw a movie, I was not interested there was zero attraction and we had nothing in common. Told him a few days later I was hella busy, which was true, midterms came up and I was suddenly swamped with papers. Told him I didn't have much time to text. Sent me like, a text every other day, now its just once a week. Like I thought after a month of silence I thought he'd get the hint.
Fucked up though tonight, sent me a snap chat and I went to go delete the chat log so I wouldn't have the notification anymore and snap fucked it up some how and made me open it. So now he knows I'm active.
I could just block him but then it's obvious what I'm doing. Afraid I might see him on campus and that'll be awkward.

Again though, I know I'm a selfish cunt. This is the last time I try meeting people online lol.

>>17721341
London probably.

Calgary is an asshole.
But maybe it's a nice place for parties.

London has years of being a place to be. Calgary as none of it, maybe like a few weeks if you count Stampede

I'm out of alcohol and I can't even see double yet.
This is giving me anxiety

>>17721349
He sounds annoying. Just block him or something and try to avoid talking to him.

>>17721358
Yeah, I know I will likely never run into him, since I'm only on campus for classes and go home right after. Plus next semester I start my student teaching so I'll be spending most of my time off campus anyway.
Problem is I'm fucking terrible with remembering faces, so if I saw him I wouldn't even know it. But I guess if he really wants to throw down in public I can throw down.

>>17721349
>This is the last time I try meeting people online lol.
Nah

This is crazy but I dated this girl for a too short a period. Then I met her ex. Then I met her ex's friends. Then her ex's friends friends.
Now I'm all up in that community.

I'm glad I dated her online.
A lot of my friends are due to her.

Anyways, he's a cunt for pushing it.
Fuck him.
Who cares.
Sticks and stones, right?
For everything else there's a pistol in your purse

>>17721372
Eh, I've tried the online dating before, I've just come to find usually there's a reason they're online. 80% of the time it's because they're hella autistic, and the other 20% are single dads kek.
Just not my cup of tea. This dude though I met on a completely unrelated app. Just an anon social app, not a dating site in any way. I was kinda complaining about being single on it, so I guess I see why he thought to make a move, but I was never really looking for that on there. Just venting.

In a way, he kinda trapped me because he told me he was interested, I told him I wasn't, and then he threw in the "Oh well let's be friends" card.
Like fuck man, how do you say "No I don't even want to be friends with you" without sounding like an asshole? I think I just said "yeah maybe" or something.
He was rather autistic though, so idk if the normal tactics are going to work.

i've realized how much of a loser i am and have lost any will to live

>>17715581
theres a girl that ive been watching for 11 months on twitch and i found her address and i live 40 minutes from her and i want to fuck her

I haven't been happy in a long time. I don't know what would make me happy either.

My parents are so passive it hurts. Exception: Any communication must go their way. Wish they would disown me at least. Would be better than this fucking limbo.

>date girl in college
>few months in have sex regularly
>naïve about sex so never used a safety word and we used no to tease each other
>cuddling and try to have sex
>says no but I took it as just us teasing like normal
>go back to cuddling and try to have sex again
>she goes with it
>tells me after she really didn't want to have sex
>go to counseling to improve myself constantly
>work hard to gain her trust back
>2 years of dating later she can't trust me from it and breaks up

I feel like a shitty person for it happening and it's only compounded by the fact that I can't really speak of it to friends because no matter what I'm basically the devil at this point. No amount of time can clear this up.

less than 12 hours and i'll be dead. Just waiting for the delivery.

>>17720279
You don't know who T is.

I spent roughly 6 months sending a guy tumblr asks and even though it's been 4 months since he stopped responding, I miss him. It wasn't even that I liked him- I did have a small crush but I knew he'd never like me and it wouldn't work even if he did- but ultimately I just wanted to be his friend and I enjoyed sending him asks and talking to him. I was boring and just annoyed him, and stuck my nose in where it wasn't wanted, but I did care about him and enjoyed following along with what he was doing. I still kind of e-stalk him, but I miss actually interacting.

>>17720279
and I was tired and going to bed, while I don't know who you even are and it's pissing me off that I might have revealed something for someone who shouldn't knoq

I feel as though I may snap any day now.

I am a quiet person, respectful even. I let people speak, never interrupt, always listen, i don't wear my heart on my sleeve, never give opinions on serious topics, keep to myself - basically I'm always calm and never start shit.

I feel as though people are too emotional, too animal and stupid. Hearing peoples emotions in their tone or seeing it on their faces and how quick they are to resort to it makes my blood boil. No one every stops and thinks or listens they just do things.

I'm not emotionless, In fact I', great at getting people laughing and telling stories among friends but I feel like I'm surrounded by retards with no self control.

The worst thing is that this kind of state Is almost an offence, it's seen as weird or odd to keep to yourself and i can even drag in antagonism from insecure people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and get intimidated by calm people.

Just today before I;d even finished a sentence my family members all at once and overly emotionally started asking me what I meant and all at once and it made me fucking mad though I kept a calm exterior, I'n good at that but it bottles up.

The more It happens the more I notice it and it annoys me greatly. I'm not emotionless, I am just good at self control.

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>>17721076
Yeah you are kinda right, it's very weirf for me to get happy about someone else having a bad time but

> You're the one obsessing over your friend, trying to "beat him"

that guy was a dick almost from day one, and it worked for him for a while,when he noticed that i liked a certain girl he went out of his way to make me look like a loser, just trust me when i tell you that he did some pretty low stuff

The thing is, all that stuff recently came back to bite his ass and he just doesn't have the right attitude to over come it like i did when he made me bite the dust, so now he is drowning

But yeah don't worry, im not going to obsess over it, besides after i got up i happened to find a way better girl and now im going out with her, so i don't really have anything against him now, but another guy is really taking advantage of this moment and oh boy he is landng some really nice clean hits, so you know i kinda share his joy it's a "enemy of your enemy is your friend" sort of thing

my parents constantly tell me how apathetic I am towards them and try to tell me that I constantly ignore them. I really don't, I say Hi to them and what not, but something kinda hit me when I was with my therapist. She told me I would "zone out" sometimes and I wouldn't hear her and would ignore her. I didn't realize this was happening and I'm kinda worried this is impacting not only my relationship with my family but my school work as well

>>17721478
I feel you

I remember feeling genuine happiness as a kid, but literally nothing will give me an ounce of that anymore

feelsbadman

I'm dumb and keep repeating the same mistakes. I don't fully trust you either. I'll put an end to this soon.

I'm not happy. I don't think most people on this site are. I don't think most people are happy.

And I'm not really depressed enough to do anything stupid, but life seems like a hassle most days. And the worst part is I have it much better than most. It's not like I'm shit out of luck in some unstable, impoverished region. I just don't think most people are happy.

>>17721595

I know that feel bro.

>>17721593
stop being a whore

>>17721599

I feel like so many people hate me. I'm queer. I feel like a good 30% of America hates because of that.

>>17720887
shut up, E

>>17721607
I'm schizophrenic. I think 100% of the world hates me and wants to hurt me. As in, every last one of you fuckers is actively plotting against me.

I haven ot seen the sun in months... year? I don't even know what month it is.

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Through a convoluted series of events and direct messages I was indirectly invited to a costume party by my crush through most of high school and first year of post-secondary (currently taking a semester off, working as I reconsider my options in life). Last night feels as though it was a dream. My social anxiety was more noticeable than most nights (had to take walks/breaks to interact with other randoms), but we danced, held conversation, and ended up making out rather early on in the party. She is apparently Bi and also made out with this other girl repeatedly, though no other guys. After kissing I was too anxious to make any advancements. Drove her home while making light conversation.

Never before have I been as depressed and anxious as I am today. I haven't texted/called. I don't even want to text my friend's girlfriend who suggested we go to the party and ask her if she likes me, for fear of rejection or embarrassment. I feel like George Costanza after he turns down midnight coffee. Completely oblivious to situational hints/body language, and re-analyzing each moment of last night. Do I contact her again? If so when? How? There is no situation in which I could see her again without texting but I don't even want to do that because it seems cowardly. What do?

Chattering finch and water-fly
Are not merrier than I;
Here among the flowers I lie
Laughing everlastingly.
No: I may not tell the best;
Surely, friends, I might have guessed
Death was but the good King's jest,
It was hid so carefully.

And so I see, it was always me.
A master of play and pretend.
And now that I know, I really must go.
To forget all over again.

22 years and still gfless and virgin
i wanna have a gf ;_;

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I so desperately want to be able give into a relationship. I want to be able to cross the threshold of flirtation and have her know that I meant it. I want to make a move on a her and have her reciprocate. But I can't do any of this.

I'm so terrified of women that I find attractive.
Never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never even held a hand.
I've been on several dates, and I can't bear to do any more. It's too painful to go the whole night unable to get past the small talk, the jokes, the get-to-know.

It's breached or related to my professional life as well. I'm a Classical Vocalist and Pianist studying to be a conductor, but performances make me uncontrollably nervous, days before I have to do it. I literally picked the worst profession with my anxiety problem. I love music immensely but I literally can't handle the dread of live performance.

I'm reaaaally struggling.

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I don't need to see your fat trash face to know of the misery you pretend doesn't exist as you bide your time until death by having absolutely nothing to contribute to any facet or person on the entirety of this fucking planet.

With the way things are going now, I am starting to believe balance really does exist. Good riddance you dense parroting faggot.

>>17721622
I don't hate you man. I love you :)

>>17721607
Used to be 60% not long ago. Wonder what it will be in another few years....

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I've come to accept that I want to kill myself. I finished college, I'm not in a relationship, I have no one who depends on my survival and I don't have any loans that would transfer to my parents if I died.

I'm 26 and I've struggled with depression and panic for a very long while. I'm tired. I don't see any sort of future for myself. I just want to exit.

My biggest fear is being institutionalized so I can't halfass it. It's fucking scary to be at this point, but I don't have a solid plan yet. I don't expect I'll get suggestions but I feel like getting this knowledge off my chest will maybe help me rationalize. Dunno.

>>17721655
As a pianist, were you ever taught to simply drop your hand on the keys? Don't try to press the notes, just let the weight of your arm do the work. It sounds to me like you are doing the same thing most men do, trying. Stop trying to get a girl to like you. Just like her anyways. There is no sense rushing anything, you have all the time in the world.

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>>17721679
With performing it's more of like "Ok I know this, but will I be able to actually do this RIGHT now when it matters?" each performance is a game of Jenga, where I keep going and going until inevitably it'll get shakey, wobble and fall. I just have to hope my mistakes happen in subtle spots.

With women, I don't have the problem of trying to win them over. I just literally can't cross the barrier. I can't physically flirt back, I can't touch them. I can't look them in the eyes and maintain a real conversation. I've gotten super drunk numerous times to try and break that threshold, but even drunk me knows how to maintain ambiguity and avoid vulnerability. I'm an expert in diversion and avoidance. It's become my autopilot

>>17721677
Well you have every right to kill yourself if that's really what you want. But only after you've considered all sides. The fact that no one depends on you, how liberating. You are the envy of every stupid parent that wishes they had only thought a little more carefully before they went and made that decision. There is nothing you need to run from, but if you feel like running anyways, I will see you on the other side my friend.

>>17721687
When does it matter? Does it only matter when you are playing for them? Does it matter when you play for yourself? There is no barrier between you and her except the one you put there. You're putting too much pressure on yourself to perform, and it's precisely what's keeping you from performing. You aren't doing it to impress them, you are only doing it because you love playing music. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

i'm waiting for you to apologize and to mean it.

I know that I am above average in both looks and intelligence, but I hate humanity and feel like it doesn't deserve any of my gifts. I'm willingly, and slowly killing myself in the face of humanity's remarkable mediocrity. I really don't care and hope someone else can make up for what I could've offered to the world, if I weren't so disgusted by it.

>>17721705
What disgusts you about the world is what makes you disgusting to the world. If you were really intelligent, you would see right through this cynical game you're playing.

>>17721703
tell them that then you retard

playing stupid games gets you to stupid places

>>17721726
I did.

I'm just waiting.

Her best friend told me everything but she doesn't know. She thinks she can lie her way out of everything.

I wish there was some way to extend an invitation to a girl who dropped a hint that she's not opposed to getting physical with strangers without coming across as a thirsty loser.

>>17721761
Don't have a reason to lie.

dear A

i got ur rs acc banned by bragging about it in /vg/ saying i botted. sorry. lmao u dont know but sorry man i knew that acc was from 04 and u had the 10 year cape but still lmao i didnt know u would get banned

>>17721784
There's a reason I cut myself off from my friends. Didn't do it because I wanted to, it's because everyone around me from some reason either acts funny or mocks me about something they couldn't have heard. Or they lie on me

I don't get the term manipulate. I gave people the opportunity to tell and ask me what they wanted. They chose to lie, call, send me things, and laugh. Why would I want to be around that? I've spent the last year isolating myself from bullshit. Instead if venting I chose journals and talking to myself about it alone. It might have been a bad joke but I freaked out enough to confuse myself and everyone around me. All I can do is mentally block it out and stay away from those people

Grandma,i am sorry but this whole "being a bitch when your friends are around" nonsense has got to stop. No,i dont care if you really think i am a lonely loser run of the mill boy. You are my grandmother,and it is your duty to fucking love me no matter what.i love you but i swear to god if you talk to me like that ever again i will poison you in your sleep. I got enough of that shit in highschool,i dont exspect to come home to it ethier. P.s i never talk to yout griends daughter ever again. She is a fucking peoce of shit and i hate her. I dont care that she wants to talk to me,she can go be vapid somewhere else. Fucking christ i hate you sometimes.

I just want to hold on to the things I think in those more magical moments of life, because hope of having those moments is the only thing that I can say is a reason to live.

Moments when the truth matters a little less, when I'm more open, when I'm not so self-critical. Moments when I'm so involved in some silly project that I don't think about all the bad stuff. But it's extremely hard to hold onto that mindset day to day, or throughout the day.

Nope never been on drugs besides alcohol and cigarettes. I've stated this countless times as well to multiple people. I had emotional problems u didbt deal with, saw and heard shit that freaked me out and it got worse . That was why I seemed help I was honest. It was never drugs

>>17721832
Meant I not u damn auto correct

My GF checks these boards and thinks every bad post is about her.

That's not the case little baby. I love you and I wish you would talk to me and listen. That's what I want.

Be a cute little kitty.

>>17720809
>>17720886
Her is A
Mine is J

Hey C

I don't know what you want from me. I'm pretty bad at reading cues but I could swear the other day you wanted to do something else than just take a long walk. I'm not stupid.

The thing is, how do you expect me to comfort you? You cheated on your ex with some guy, your family didn't like it so you left that guy and now you're all alone. You need to learn from this. If I jumped in it would be a disservice to you. Don't get me wrong, I like you enough, I just don't think it's the right time.

There is a reason why your parents treat you like a child and protect you like they do, and -you- have made that clear more than they did. Initially I thought that they didn't have any business doing that but after what you told me I think it is better for you to learn to get through it and be more careful.

Think about this. Would you do this the other way around? Get me while I'm vulnerable and weak, not thinking things through? I'd rather have you give some closure to the poor guy or get back with him if possible. He already lost that trust on you, don't make it harder. Make me proud of you.

-Chris

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I'm getting tired anons. I don't know what to do. I'm not suicidal but it all seems pointless. I'm never going to get anywhere. No one in their right mind would ever like me.

>>17721853
Gimme the last initials please. Or just text me and say what you need to say

>>17721761
What were you told?

I have Dermatillomania and I hate it. Please help.

>>17722066
STIs don't come from nowhere & now i know

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>>17715581
Dear F, you're my best friend and a real bro.

But since you "discovered" 4chan and /pol/, I find it a bit hard to be around you and your acquaintances sometimes because then you become true try-hard dank plebians who act like it's the coolest shit since sliced white bread.

It gets especially annoying when you go around actually saying 'kek' and 'lel' on every chance you get.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bad friend for chosing not to join in on your cringe fest and pretend I have no clue or care for what you're doing, instead.

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I love you

>>17722096
no you don't

>>17716182

Well, I'm caring about you while I'm writing this. Won't last long, but still it's free an without any backward thinking.

You see, one of the things I understood recently about life, is that it's really hard to overcome the social limits you've put yourself over the years.
But apart from that, you have every possibility to get rid of that shit situation you seem to be in.
Take your money and leave the place you are right now. Leave everything. It's like committing suicide but not the easy way, and can give you more interesting results.

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>>17722094

I feel you anon, I lost a very close friend to /pol/ too and I've read more than a couple of similar stories on /adv/. I suggest just cutting off your friendship with him. I thought my friend would be "ok" and that he would use his brain and get away from all that bullshit but that was not the case my friend just kept getting more and more twisted until I just couldn't stand the retard.

>>17722118
I have no money. I lost my life savings a couple years ago.

I have a debilitating mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia) that makes every minute torture. This isn't a matter of society, not being able to get the girl, not being able to get the job, not being liked enough, or any of that bullshit. Although lots of people do fuck with me, not even counting the paranoia.

Package is out for delivery.

>>17722131

How is your family helping you? And your medication?

>>17721059
Wow are you but hurt
:^)

Went to visit my old friend while in DC. We use to have a history and nearly dated. It was really nice seeing him again and we still felt just as close. I brought my best friend over too so nothing shady would happen since he has a gf, but I honestly really regret it.

He texted me yesterday telling me how it was a good thing, because after he saw me in person again all his feelings came rushing back for me. He kept implying how he would fuck me if my friend wasn't there and told me I wouldn't give a fuck about his girlfriend or her feelings which is why he would want to do it. And yeah, it's true I wouldn't care and I slightly want to go back to his place, but she is there for tonight and I leave for home tomorrow.

>>17722141
Family gives me a room room and that's it. I pay my share of the utilities, my food, and medication. I don't make a lot of money because I can't hold a job job. Two years ago my ex cheated(and a bunch of other fucked up shit) on me and set off a chain of events that cost me my my savings (~12-15k)

Family doesn't care at fucking all and just think I'm a loser.

My hometown is small with only 1 psychiatrist that treated me like a criminal. I take an AD that has literally no effects at all since I should be on antipsychotics. The only meds that I have tried that work is adderal, but it's impossible to get. I told the psychiatrist I was given this by my general doctor (who is now in jail because he molested a patient) and she turned hostile to me, saying that I was going to abuse my meds by snorting them and that adults shouldn't take them. She went on for an hour talking about dangers of medication and didn't ask anything more about me, why I was there, and just ignored me. They tried to make me take a drug test to make sure I wasn't "lying" or a user so I just left.

I only took 1 20mg pill a day. From what I read online an adult starts at 40mg-60mg a day up to 120mg being common. I was fine with just 20mg but no one cares to listen.

I have so many thoughts constantly all day day. Just... it's fucking killing me. People don't understand what it means when I say that and... it's so fucking worse than it sounds.

Painted a bunch of portraits of my gf but she told me she didn't think they were any good. She didn't like like them. I had another of her I wanted to show but... I think she despises me... hates me

I'm so just done with it all I can't do any more

>>17721087
initials?

>>17722121
nah, he's nowhere close to being a poltard, he's a smart guy and thinks for himself most of the time. He can just be embarrassing and annoying because of it, it's nothing I'd even think about breaking our friendship over.

Stop fucking with me. You're clearly into me, and I'm clearly into you. What are we to do with that?

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i need too calm down im sure at least 90% of that date was good
stop being paranoic about just one or 2 litthel things she said almost at the end of it, she was happy, she let you waro your am around her and even said thanks


maybe im just not used to being accepted

>>17722248
im an a she is an L.

>>17721703
I will tonight.

>>17722285
why wait until tonight?

>>17722332
So I know what to say lmao.

>>17722335
you're not the person I want to apologize but... I sent you some things. a nice painting... did you get it?

>>17722349
What painting?

>>17722012
I don't think we're talking about the same person.
Anyways my initials are Jo Ls
And hers AI

New world is a good fucking movie

>>17720089
>>17720105
>>17720279
Excuse me, who even are you? If you know me, why haven't you contacted me and so on?

>>17722283
Nope, I'm a dude sorry

>>17721840
:<

Fuck you, S R F, just fuck you for being such a fucking contrarian whore

>>17722685
I guess I'll never know.