Anons, how do you get over being heartsick? A couple weeks ago

Bump. Anyone?

First, a tip for the future: Try not to get emotionally invested in girls so much before you actually have something going on with them. Do not fantasize about them, imagine a relationship, stalk them on instagram whatever. This will make it less painful when you end up getting rejected. Also, it will prevent you from getting too nervous around them and acting desperate.

Now for the whole "being heartsick" thing.

Personally, I try to socialize with other girls as much as I can. This is what helps me the most and I think a lot of other men feel the same. It helps to get your self confidence back up and makes it easier to forget her.
Other than that you should occupy yourself with other things. Physical activity is usually a good pick, especially because your mind won't as easily switch back to thinking about the girl as it will during non-physical exercise. Of course you have to make sure it's exhausting enough.

I'm sorry I can't give you the secret recipe against heartache, it's always the same advice. Give it time, take the chance to improve yourself, don't sulk on it, hang out with people, etc.

>>17710530
Thank you anon. I appreciate your advice. She's a good friend and I talk to her almost every day so it's very difficult for me not to be emotionally invested. I don't stalk her or do anything creepy except be as good of a friend as I can be but that's not exclusively her since I do that for all my friends... I'm able to cover it up really well when we're talking so she has absolutely no idea how I feel. At all.

Yes, I agree. I've been working out more and eating less because I just don't feel like doing anything else. I don't want to forget her, though. She's a great person and I like being in her life but I want to be more in her life, ya know?

Yup, that's all I can do it seems. Should I ever tell her?

>>17710559
Not him but follow his adivice talk to other girls too.
Use tinder or something.

The secret with women is escalating, think of a fire make it grow tease give air in time you can drop the meat.

Okay, I can understand you don't want to forget her and since you're talking to her almost every day it would be pretty much impossible anyway.

However, you have to come to terms with the fact that you won't be anything more than a friend for her anytime soon. You have to eliminate the thought that there is a chance. Maybe they will break up in the future, but you can't rely on that, what matters is the now. And right now you won't be able to get with her. Again, meeting other girls can somewhat help with that since it might cause the desire to lessen (and possibly shift to another woman).
If you're the type for these kinds of things, you could try meditation. It's useful for distancing yourself on an emotional level. Don't worry, I'm not talking about you becoming indifferent towards her and losing her as a friend. What I mean is that it's a possible way of getting rid your infatuation with her, which is why you're feeling crappy right now.

Don't tell her about it, at least not as long as she's with the other guy. If you do that you'll risk making every future encounter with her awkward as fuck and losing her both as a possible partner and as a good friend.
In case she becomes single again you can try making advances, then gauge her reaction towards them. If she seems interested you can go further and finally open up to her, if not it's safer to drop it, unless you're willing to risk the friendship.

>>17710594
I forgot to say that the last part only matters if you're still interested in her by that time

>>17710587
Tinder has yielded zero results for me. I'm so invested in this woman because she's special in the sense that we get along well, she makes me feel good, and we have a lot in common. But, I am well aware of the saying, "Getting along isn't enough".

>>17710594
That's what I was afraid of. I've had to do exactly as you've described multiple times over my life. I don't fall for people very easily so I'm worried that I'm passing up a chance at being happy. I don't know anon. I'm probably going to do what you say and let it go like I've done before but... This time hurts especially more than it used to.

Thank you both again. I probably won't tell her as much as I want to just so that I could be free of these emotions instead of letting them fester in my heart.

>>17710626
I know this is painful as hell, I had to do it too

But if you cling to her now and refuse to try with other women you are much more likely to miss your chance at happiness than you are otherwise.

Yeah, it might work out on the off chance that her and your friend brake up, that you're there just at the right moment to step in and that she actually develops feelings for you too and doesn't just see you as a friend. But it's just so unlikely that you'll probably end up wasting a lot of time you could have used for much better things.

You'll come across other girls that will make you feel good eventually. Maybe even better.

>>17710659
I agree. I need to find more women but I don't really know any that I feel like this about. She's also nice to me in ways that I can't tell if she's just flirty or if there are some hidden feelings in there. Everyone in this friend group of mine expects me to be the positive supportive guy who's always there for his friends and has his life together (which I do) but man alive am I tired of being passed over. I want to be happy too.

Now it's just venting. I'm so sorry, anon. Maybe getting out a bit and meeting someone else would be good for me. Thank you again. Youve been very kind and patient with me. I appreciate it.

>>17710675
If there are no women in your circle of friends that you have similar feelings for, then you need to find new ones. This can be very difficult, depending on where you live, but unfortunately it's the only choice.

You say she's flirting with you. Are you sure it's flirting or maybe just you thinking she's flirting? How does she behave around other guys? Some girls are very physical / touchy with guys even if they're not actually interested.
Anyway, you shouldn't try to find a hidden meaning in her behavior, there are just too many possible reasons why she's acting that way. You'll just make the whole process of getting over her more difficult. I know it's made harder by the fact that she never outright rejected you, therefore some hope remains. Still, you have to treat this situation kind of like as if she did. It will make the whole thing easier in the long run.

It's okay to vent btw., I don't mind.

You'll just have to move on at some point.

>>17710710
I can't tell, you're right. She's a friendly person so it's difficult to tell. She's met my family, she's met my friends, and they all like her. I like her and now it's just a crushed dream that, as you said, I just need to get over.

Would confiding in one of the other friends (not her) be feasible? I want to cry and wallow but I'd feel like too much of a wuss if I did that. Men aren't supposed to do that over a woman who isn't even in a relationship with you. I can't shake the feeling that this is my golden ticket and it's slipping out of my hands. I know you've said that's a bad perspective to have. I need to work on that.

I will move on eventually... I just wish I could move with her.

>>17710774
Remember, the fact that your friends and family like her does not mean a thing. Even if the story of how you two met was worthy of a movie, it wouldn't mean she's "the one". It only means something when everything works out and you become a couple. That's the way it is.

You can talk to a friend, as long as you're sure they won't spill the beans. Maybe they'll be able to give you some good advice for the situation, since they'll know about more about the details than anyone on a macanese poker technique board.

Stay strong, in due time you will feel better and realize that it was kinda silly to be so hung up on her.

>>17710851
You're right. There's no guarantee. You've given me a lot to think on and some much needed perspective. There are good people on this board sometimes :) Thank you again, anon.