Reporting a harasser on public media

You don't specify if you're a woman, but as a dad to girls this is something I think about a lot. It's really important that people are called out harassment bullshit; it's just basic that nobody should say anything in private to a crush (or target) that the wouldn't be proud of in public.

Unfortunately the world is filled with liars and assholes on both sides of the harassment equation, which makes it very hard for people in your situation.

You can tell your story to anyone who asks, but don't publicly provide your personal narrative on the subject. DO provide documentation in the form of screen shots, data, and photographs he sent. Just say, "This is what [guy name] said to me on Facebook; it was unwelcome and it's continuing." Let his behavior speak for himself and censor nothing. That any forthcoming conversation is about the data and the behavior, not about you. This will certainly stop him from continuing the behavior as far as you're concerned, and hopefully help stop this from happening to someone else.

>>17710069
Develop a little more about what happened. We don't know if it's a humongous kind of 'sexual assault' and you're waiting for the green light to frame a muttafucca

>>17710198

I say that doesn't matter, he made OP feel shitty and he won't stop-- that's why my advice was to just show to screenshots and let the world decide. If people interpret it as no big deal flirting, he'll be embarrassed for a day and stop bugging the OP. If it's worse, than he'll be properly shamed.

>>17710213
You underestimate how shitty it's to be accused of something like that. The guy will be rejected by lots of his peers and we don't know if it was just innapropiate flirting. OP can block the guy and change her privacy settings. We really don't know if what he did justifies ruining his social life. Making someone feel shitty isn't necessarily sexual harassment, so IMO OP should get an objective view on things before framing a nicca

>>17710180
There aren't any screenshots, I'm afraid, everything that happened was in person.

>>17710198
We were at a mutual friends house party and when he was drunk, he admitted to stalking me on facebook, purposly attending events he saw me attending (I never saw him there, but he memorized almost every event I RSVP-ed on facebook). He also said he knew at which station I get on my tram (I go to college with this line every day). Is this enough?

>>17710257
No. I don't think it's enough to mark him for life of being an harasser. Did you even say to him how creepy does that sounds and that he should stop it?
It's not enough IMO because sometimes you get an unhealthy obsession over someone, but it's not harassing until you actually harass her/him

>>17710253

If what he said could be misconstrued as flirtatious or inoffensive, then why would it "ruin his social life?" That said, in this situation I definitely agree with you...

>>17710257

I don't think you can't go public without something in writing, because it doesn't sound like you told him that the attention was unwelcome. To over half of your audience, you will seem like a bully to an awkward man. I understand how unfair this is but it does in fact sound like he's an awkward creep by accident, and many (maybe most) men are sometimes. If it happens again, you need to tell him that what he said made you uncomfortable. If it continues or gets angry about it, it's beyond the pale and he should be called out. I would have appreciated someone being that direct to me...

>>17710282
> Did you even say to him how creepy does that sounds and that he should stop it?
Yes, he told me to fuck off.

I don't want to destroy his social life by marking him a harasser, I just want a way to tell other people to take care if they're dealing with him.

>>17710323

Did he stop "harassing" you?

>>17710341
Yes but he could do it to someone else (I actually talked to other people that experienced it with him)

>>17710323
If you have a chance, have an actual human conversation and state clear that you will take measures if he continues to do that.
Implying that he actually is an harasser.

>>17710316
>If what he said could be misconstrued as flirtatious or inoffensive, then why would it "ruin his social life?"
look at the humongous video. In the first world there are people with really vast concepts of 'harassment' that will treat this guy as a rapist more or less. And being accused of being a sexual harasser it's kind of like being accused of being a kiddy fiddler. It doesn't matter if you're guilty, people will not look at you in the same way

>>17710354

I don't know about Croatia but here in the US you can have good evidence of a guy fucking underage girls at hotel drug parties and 2 in 5 people will not change their opinion of him. Tell every man and woman in his circles that you trust, and document every shitty thing he does from here on. I wish there was more you could do but it's hearsay and most people won't believe you.

>>17710372

That's why I'm not promoting hearsay, but if are a creep and can't own up to it, you reap what you sow. I've had a slutty phase of my life when I slept with a lot of women, and there isn't one private statement I made with a prospect that I'd be embarrassed about.

>>17710069

Why do you feel the need to harass a person that you are accusing of harassing you?
Do you even notice the irony in what you are thinking at all?

>>17710389
good for you, but we have to agree here that developing an obsession (dare I say, unhealthy crush maybe?) isn't sexual harassment. At most tell the guy to stop and get help if he does it with lots of women, because that won't end well, but shunning him publicly won't help at all.

>>17710392

This is absolute bullshit gaslighting. What kind of man needs to protect their baby fee fees to this degree? Be a goddamned adult and own what you say. There's nothing "harassing" about pointing out someone's behavior publicly, especially if that behavior is shitty. This doesn't just go for men-on-women nonsense. Nobody should expect privacy when talking to someone they don't know and trust, especially not a crush target or victim.

>>17710408

Yes I agree with you in this situation especially since there is no evidence.

>>17710408
*and to get help if he does it with lots of women

>>17710392
is bait posting a thing here in adv? like creating realistic scenarios where the op is wrong in an obvious way