Girlfriend broke up and acting really cold?

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>>17709670

Relationships end. Finding out why and being happy with the reasons won't change the fact that its over.

Its over. Thats it. Move on.

>>17709673
It just doesn't feel right you know. I've had this in the past and it's sorta like what you said, okay whatever its over. With her I feel she is scared to get close or something, because her past relationships she wasn't treated very good, same with her dad who she no longer sees, and for the first time she has a guy who treats her right and it's like shes trying to push me away.

>>17709705

She has pushed you away. Get over it.

>>17709710
What cold advice, there has to be an easier and more enjoyable way? Prolong your suffering and cling desperately to something that isn't even there perhaps?

>>17709670
Just tell her how you feel. Say "I've always loved you, and I do not believe I have done anything to hurt you. I am very hurt by what you are doing. Please, if nothing else, tell me what went wrong."
And beyond that, tell her that you are moving on. That you do not deserve to be manipulated or pulled around by that. If she freaks out and suddenly wants you back, that's a huge red flag. It means that she was trying to manipulate you the entire time. And if she doesn't, then it's over. But if she slowly comes back and apologizes over time, then, if I were you, I would consider taking her back. But do not rush in. If she had no problem doing this to you once, she'd likely do it again.

Best of luck to you, man.

>>17709670
Get a pair of balls and move on.

>>17709747
Yeah I basically said that last night, told her straight up like babe, you're really hurting me, I don't know what's wrong or what I've done wrong. She says don't call me babe, and then tells me to just go away is that too much to ask. I just said because none of this feels right, I wake up one day and suddenly you're moving on. I get along with her sister she's going to try talk sense into her but I guess I really can't do anything else now.

>>17709767
Tell her that you are moving on, too. You seem like a wonderful man, and there are many women that are more deserving of your love.

If it makes you feel any better, I am in your girlfriend's shoes. I woke up one morning about a week ago and suddenly didn't feel any love towards my GF, or my family at all. I tried to imagine my family dying in a car accident just to see if I could feel any emotion, and I felt nothing. And I don't deserve love in this current state of being.
I've told my mother about this new state, and she is very worried about me. But I haven't told my girlfriend. I carry on as though I do still love her, since she is so wonderful and does not deserve to be hurt at all.

But do you see the difference? Before I suddenly changed, I was a good person. And so I still try to be a good person after. But your girlfriend clearly does not have that same level of moral depth.
I suppose she may be in a totally different situation to me. She may be bipolar. But if she is, I do not know how to solve it. I suppose she might seriously hurt herself if you leave like she says she wants. That might be it. She might just be very insecure.

I don't know. I'm sorry.
I'm not exactly in the right state of mind to give emotional advice right now.

>>17709767
Relationships are more than just not doing anything wrong. Relationships are more than just being nice.
Love is deeper than that. Compatibility is more complicated than that.

There are people who have been kind to me. Who, I know, if we had dated, would sacrifice their well-being for me. Still, I do not love them.

I love my boyfriend. We share important values. We think mostly alike, but not too alike. Because I would not date myself. I have aspects of myself that would not work in double. For example, I struggle to make decisions. He happily steps up to compensate.
We share a dynamic that I have desired. This heaven for me would be considered hell in the life of another. It's subjective. What I want isn't necessarily what everyone wants.

You have dated this girl for six months. Honestly, that isn't very long. That's about the timeframe when you've just really began to know someone intimately.

Perhaps you are not what she wants. Perhaps you didn't have the chemistry you thought you did. Perhaps she wants to move on.

You can't force her to do the introspection to analyze why she left you. You certainly can't force her to share those reasons with you.

You've said your piece. Now you have to leave her be.

>>17709778
No its good advice thank you, well let me explain her in more detail then maybe something might click for you.

Before me, she was single for a year. She's never had a good relationship, so she was definitely a bit insecure and having low self esteem. She even said it felt like she was improving because of how good I treated her.

And her mood seems to be either very high and hyper, or very very low, there is no in-between. And during those low moments she was quite hard to handle (maybe why she never had a relationship last longer than 2 weeks?). But I never gave up with her, I told her that no matter what, that I'd be there for her. And during those low moments she would break up with me (happened like 5 times) but we'd always get back together the next day or something.

During those times she would break up because suddenly she wouldn't have enough time for me, or I deserve someone better, or she just wants to focus on her studies and not worry about relationships, just always some vague excuse you know. At one point she even kissed another guy and she admitted it straight away and was crying, I was so hurt, and I think she was expecting me to just walk out of her life there and then but I didn't and she said "I knew you'd be like this still trying to be with me" all while she's crying and she stormed off and I tried to stop her but this all built up to the point where she just screamed at me to leave her alone. About a week letter she write me a 3 page letter of how sorry she is, how stupid she is, and how all I ever wanted was her and she's stupid to not realized that before, and how she doesn't want me thinking I'm her second option etc.

I seen her some days after and just hugged her, telling her how important she is to me and she's the only girl in the world that I want, hugging her while saying all this and she was crying a little, and we got back together and things were good. Now about 2 months later, here we are.

>>17709802
It's not like we didn't have chemistry or anything we did, it wasn't all in my head. Half the time she knew what I was thinking and I did her because we are/were so close. We barely had anything in common but we still just 'fit'. But maybe I am being selfish in wanting a reason or something, maybe she doesn't even know why herself. All I know is she is acting so different, even her sister says that, and said how she was always happiest with me so she don't know why she's walking away either.

>>17709807
She's definitely bipolar.

This will be a regular pattern with her.

...Maybe I'm bipolar, too. I hope I am. At least then I know I'll be able to feel emotions again soon.

>>17709807
Dude. She's seriously unstable. She needs help and you can't- and shouldn't- be responsible for that.
This isn't healthy for either of you.
You have taken on the role of caregiver. We're you enjoying the satisfaction of being the one who would save her? To be her hero, who would show her what it's like to be loved and appreciated?

Now, anon. Did she grant you the same favor? Did you feel loved? Or were you just relied on? Would she be as patient with you as you have with her? Would she put the same efforts in to make sure you didn't get hurt?

What about you, anon? Who is looking out for you? What about your needs?

A relationship is the joining of two equals, standing side by side to take on the world together. We're you equals?

>>17709778
And she said how I was perfect for her, how I was the man she'd always been waiting for, her favorite place is my arms, how I made her feel so safe, etc. Even now she wears my hoody 24/7, it was the one I was wearing when I gave her, her first kiss. And she still carries a note around with her in her bag (I used to write her cute notes randomly saying things like You're the most beautiful girl in the world with smiley faces and everything lol etc).

It just feels like for whatever reason, she is doing whatever she can to push me away, rather than the traditional break up with me.

>>17709670
You are pleading with her to take you back. Thats weak.

You were weak in your relationship.

Note this and remember that: Women have no love for weakness.

Go no contact. Show her your strenght.

>>17709822
I did kinda like being the one to show her that I loved her and accepted her, even with her faults, I told her this before. As for me, she did do things for me too and I did feel loved, but maybe not all the time. During the break up she told me she didn't treat me the best, and when I tried to convince her otherwise she was like 'that's it' as if she didn't do enough.

But no, I guess to be honest when it gets right down to it, we wasn't equals. It's just a shame, I wish she just tried harder for me.

>>17709830
Thats only a part of the truth, you shouldnt degrade a relationship on that mechanism

>>17709830
I wasn't weak at all during the relationship, if I was this relationship would of been over a long time ago. It's only now I'm acting this way.

>>17709833

I'm not. Women really on subconcious way work like this.

Why do they choose abusers, assholes and psychopaths? Because they are strong.

Why do they avoid nice guys like a plague? Because they are weak.

Women are not illogical and frisky. Once you see this pattern all their behaviour makes sense.

Women have no love for weakness.

>>17709836
But what you perceive as weakness isnt weak always, there are many different kinds of relationsships, i think OP was kinda the mentor / teacher of this girl, so hes quiet superior when he cares about her and looks over her faults

Tho she has some disharmonic thoughts in her she cant get her head around, maybe the relationsship can establish in a new form when both know where theyre actually standing.

>>17709836
That's just simplifying it too much. Women don't mind if their guy has a weak side for them. If OP simply packed his bags and left like he didn't care, I bet that girl would just tell herself "See just like everyone else" and continue living with her own philosophy that she isn't good enough for anyone or something.

>>17709843

he was writing leaflets with cute poems and love declarations.

Thats IS fucking weak

>>17709848
>Women don't mind if their guy has a weak side for them.

Thay do

>>17709849
It wasn't poems lol, it was just little compliments. And if she found that shit so 'icky' like you're saying, she wouldn't still carry them around with her.

>>17709849
No thats love. Or is love "weak" also?
Only girls without love in them dont recognize love a guy may have for them.

>>17709854

Bottom line is this: She dumped him. Women dont dump guys they love.

You might have noticed a pattern in my posts its: Women have no love for weakness.

>>17709832
>>17709835
>even with her faults
>maybe not all the time.
>we weren't equals.
>I wish she just tried harder for me.
>if I was this relationship would of been over a long time ago.

Anon, I played this game. I had this relationship with my ex. It doesn't get better, Anon. You made it out easy.

I was still in your mindset at six months in. About a year and a half in, I started getting quietly frustrated that my ex wouldn't put in the effort I had put in. I wish my ex had tried harder to.
We started to talk about it. Attempts were made. They all fell flat.
Because my ex was broken, just as you ex is. I couldn't ask for that effort because the capability just want there.

It was three years in that I saw what I had done. I had abandoned most of my life in order to be there for my ex. I felt unappreciated and at a loss for how else I could help.
Their pain goes deeper than what love alone can fix.

She's doing you a favor. Save yourself.

Women are unpredictable sluts. Breaking news anon but you shouldn't be fucking surprised by a woman acting like this. They literally and figuratively all do this.

Well OP, from what im reading i think you didnt get that much out of the relationship, shes a girl with problems and she needs help, you were her help but (important) dont be needy / dependent on her, because as a fact you dont need her, shes hindering you and you dont want to give her the power in your mind to pull you down. If she comes back and realizes your value for her, care for her, "improve" her, but dont get attached. And if not, you cant do nothing for her. But first, realize you really dont need her, then youre safe.

>>17709670
See this is why its so hard to break up with a guy. They just cannot accept reality. Even when you tell them the truth it doesn't sink in so you are forced to flip the bitch switch.

>>17709881
But girls barely say the truth, most of the time they say sth in a manipulative way in order to reach sth different. Maybe they dont even know themselves why they act in a specific way.

>>17709892
Tell me then what is ambiguous in the following

I don't love you anymore

I don't want to be in a relationship with you

>>17709961
Not him but there's no closure. I understand you domt owe the guy closure by the way, and I've come to accept that most women will never tell you anyways because lol women.

>>17710015
You're acting like men don't do the same to women.

>>17710015
How is this not closure? Sounds like a shut door to me and does when I say it? What you may mean is say it in a way there is wiggleroom for the guy to assume there may be a chance at some point under certain circumstances of a resumption. But see we are right back where we started

>>17710041
Lol no.

>>17710062
At the very least the reasons why they fell out of love. I think that's reasonable. Some people would like to at least make the bad situation a learning experience and possibly prevent it in the future.

>>17710067
But no one can make another person fall into or out of love.

Now if there was some abuse or being a dick sure but the guy could be a nice guy and great for someone just not for me at that time. Why because I do not love them anymore. Then you get, well tell me what I did, nothing. Then tell me what I can do, nothing again.

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>>17709670
Sorta sounds like she has Bipolar disorder, Anon. Though that might be unlikely. In your shoes I would find out about her surrounding influences as much as possible without her knowing, and boil down the reason to something. If nothing prevails then the best possible solution is one final talk. If it works out, good, if not move on. You and her will not benefit from doing this forever.

>>17710080
Either beta male or female. Not responding any further to this nonsense.

You're weak OP and clinging on something false that will never happen. I've been in the exact same situation down to the letter, it's like our exes are clones.
Except I moved on because I realizes it's not OK man. Listen bro, it's not ok. Take a deep breath and reread the thread. You're acting psychotic. It isn't you man, stop clinging to that shit, stop begging her and pleading with her. It's dragging you down more than you think it does.
It's affecting your mind man. Seriously I know where you're coming from because I've been there myself. Literally the same relationship.

>>17710086
Can bipolar make someone legitimately fall out of love, or do they just feel too worthless to be loved?

>>17709670
Do you really want someone in your life that just goes cold turkey on you for no reason at all?

She's a bitch, get over it and find someone better.

>>17709961
>>17710015
See, case and point. If she's like this and does not want to be with you or just doesn't care about you out of nowhere, fuck 'em. You don't want these people in your circle, trust me.

If you don't care about me, why should I give a shit about you?

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Different anon here, slightly hijacking the thread. I apologise but I just didn't feel like making a new thread for this.

So my story begins with me and her being together happily. We did lots of stuff together, went through difficult times together and we were each other's first kiss. But in the end we broke up and we haven't talked since. Now, 2 years later, I miss her and realise I still love her very much and want her back but she's already found someone else and everytime I think of us together and the happy memories we had and how it's over now and how she's off with someone else now hurts me. It's slowly eating me inside out and my depression has deeply worsened the past few months because of this.

I've tried texting her but she just sends back one-word replies or not at all. I was so desperate to the point where I even searched up "texting guides" online just to see how I can text her better and have her reply.

I am confused and deeply hurt as well. I just can't understand how the both of us who were so close and happy together turned into the state of strangers that we're in right now. What can I do or say to have her by my side again?

>>17709670
I feel you OP. My gf blocked me after I said some angry things, if I had known it would lead to her avoiding me I wouldn't have done it, I thought we could talk about it but she just cut me off.

I don't know how to deal with it, because usually when she backs off and we get back together she gets mad at me for not trying to still be with her.

>>17710547
https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU

>>17709670
Why do you care? Do you really want to get back together with someone that would treat you so coldly? She probly cheated on you and just decided to end it before she could get found out.