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This chick wants to be my girlfriend, I think. She let me know that she is loose. She defines her amount of partners as the amount of people she had vaginal intercourse with, at six guys. I consider her amount of partners to be the number of people she engaged in sexual activity with, which she says is nineteen. She's only nineteen years old, so this is problematic, particularly for her.
When I realized her number was nineteen, and not six, I was shocked and said I needed to rethink where we were going with this. She said that she didn't mean to mislead me. I think she might just be misleading herself.
I was doing some thinking in the shower, and remembered what everyone who ever tried to give me advice said. "You have to trust people, that is, if you don't want to be alone." This didn't make sense after all of the family abuse and nightmare girlfriends. However, this new situation is starting to put that advice in context. This girl I am writing about does seem to be a genuinely good person, who has been cheated on and thinks cheaters are the worst. She has shown a lot of sensitivity and generosity to all of the people around her. I don't think she enjoys hurting people.
I still care for her, and I think that everyone will give me reasons to be suspicious. If the next girls is not promiscuous, maybe she'll be bad at communication and resolving arguments (another big indicator that a person will cheat); there will always be some reason to suspect your partner of cheating. Accepting this only makes sense and keeps one from becoming paranoid and/or delusional. It's not good to be lulled into a false sense of security, and it's not good to be borderline paranoid.
I need to 'trust' people in order to be happy, and this girl is very intelligent, pretty and talented. It would be nice to have a good relationship with her where we both build each other up.../Adv/, does this make sense?
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>>17706798
>trusting women
anon pls
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>>17706828
I don't think that men have moral superiority over women, especially not when they build weapons of mass destruction and create scenarios where using them is the "most utilitarian thing to do."
However, I agree that women are less trustworthy. Women seem to be more complicated psychologically, less rational, and easier to sway emotionally.
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>>17706798
Well, if you don't mind dating a slut, you could always ask her what the circumstances of all her relationships were: e.g. one night stands, orgies, cheating, how long ago, if it was peer pressure, etc. Then you can deduce how fucked up her moral compass really is.
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>>17706798
OP you are trying to force your rational mind to accept what your gut is rejecting. Trust your gut this girl is not gf material. You want to believe she is because she wants you at this moment but that is your ego talking. Don't do this
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>>17706907
Thanks for examining this with me. Her and I sort of had that discussion. The only moral issue I see here is that she's too loose for her own good, that she isn't good enough to herself. She just lets really horny guys go to town on her whenever they ask, instead of being offended. I said that with the amount of guys she has been with, and the amount of douchebag borderline rapists she has dated, she should have a million dollars rather than fuck-all to show for it.
>>17706911
My concern is that if the next girls is not promiscuous (rare), maybe she will give me some other reason to doubt her. I was thinking about enjoying my time with this girl and not trying to wife her while we are both 20.
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>>17706930
>The only moral issue I see here is that she's too loose for her own good, that she isn't good enough to herself.
Well, is she still this way? Or is this a phase that she's past? Was she in any serious relationships when this kind of stuff was going on? Is she even capable of a serious relationship?
>I was thinking about enjoying my time with this girl and not trying to wife her while we are both 20.
You mean not being serious? Like, maybe an open relationship? Although, if she's that loose, I don't really recommend, since you might eventually get some sort of STD/STI. But, maybe you can have a fun fling with her until you find someone who is actual wife material?
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>>17706798
A person's number of sexual partners doesn't really have much to do with how they are morally. Despite what 4chan says, women aren't out to fuck you over. Girls who are promiscuous don't go looking for guys to be in relationships with, they usually don't do relationships.
A sexually inexperienced girl is also just as likely to cheat. Chances are she'll feel the need to branch out and have more sexual experiences. If a girl has a normal number of sexual partners (like the girl you like) and she wants a relationship. chances are she's honestly ready to settle down.
My point is that someone's character says more about them than their number of sexual partners.
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>>17708021
>a normal number of sexual partners
>19
>normal
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doubt she will cheat on you
the amount of sexual partners/relationships indicate she has a personality problem that drives people away. I mean you can't run into "19" asshole guys in a row right? some of those went south because of her.
so its up to you to deal with it.
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>>17706798
>She let me know that she is loose.
It's a warning m8. It's noble- she's saying 'If you have a brain, you won't date me'.
That way, she absolved herself of blame, when she cheats on you. You were warned, you ignored the warnings, the blame is on you, not her.
>ou have to trust people, that is, if you don't want to be alone."
Would you trust Bernie Madoff with your investment?
No?
It's very reasonable to be careful about WHO you trust.
Always go with your gut dude- your gut is telling you 'This bitch is bad news'. Your gut is telling you she's had too many partners.
Listen to your gut.
There are going to be a lot of girls that've slept with 1000 guys here telling you there's no cause for concern, and guys dating these women that are insecure and want to crab in bucket you- they want you to date women like they are dating, because if someone is dating a nice and good girl, it fills them envy.
Don't let them pull you down man
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Hearing about situations like this makes me glad to be celibate.
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