Relationship problems

Have you ever met this person? Like outside the internet.

>>17706657
are you kinda chubby underage and have sent him nudes?

welcome to an internet relationship lol. Never actually seen one irl

>>17706695
Yes we've spent a few weeks together irl and it was lovely. We've been best friends for years before we decided to start a relationship up.

>>17706778
No I'm in my mid twenties. Not underage.

Well since you are not responding I am going to assume you never met this person.

1. Never marry a person you haven't lived with before. You don't know if you can have a future together before you find his dirty socks on top of the table next to the bread. You need to know that he is faithful, contributes to the household and is able to manage basic finances. Being that close to another person will test the relationship in every way, if you are able to live with a person over time concider getting married. Also you might want to find out how he is in bed, would you buy a car without driving it?

>>17706822
I responded here:
>>17706800

We lived together in his country for a few weeks, nearly a month, to see how we are able to handle each other and if we could do it.

>>17706657
>He just plays league of legends all day and is can't hold a real convo)

is this guy really relationship material? never mind marriage material. you need to really think things through. i know you spent a few weeks together but that isnt really long enough to determine if getting married is a good idea. you should live together for at least a year before you decide to get married. i mean, he plays league of legends all day.. im sure you could find someones better than that unless. if you're fat, lose weight.

>>17706864
Well we've know each other for 10 years before getting together and going through with us so I thought we knew each other. Living together for a year is a issue sadly because we are in seperate countries.

>>17706657
he doesn't have the same plan or he would be just as invested as you. big waste of time on this guy OP

>>17706864
Accidentally hit post but wasn't done and you're right about needing to think this through which is why I'm here trying to hear others inputs. I've tried my hardest so far but he just says stuff like "we don't have to spend 100% time together". Which is true and want what I ask of him. Just a hour or so a day to chill in a game or something (im shit at league and he plays with his friends mostly)

>>17706892
Not what I ask of him* I can't type for shit on my phone.

>>17706892
i understand how you feel. you have known him for so long so you feel like you have invested a lot into the relationship and im guessing you have feelings for him. he might be a lovely person but he sounds like a man child. video games are fun but playing them all day and playing them over spending time with someone you want to marry? sounds really immature. and as you have said, you are the one putting in all the effort. he sounds half assed. is he a neet?

>>17706939
Yes he's a neet. At first he told me there was no work over there for him and I was like "Okay that's fine, I'll take care of things till you're able to work then you can help." But now after last night he said he could find work but didn't want to cause of our time zone differences would mean we'd only get to chat for a hour a day. which I pointed out he said that was fine for him to just chat and not but now he has a problem with it.

Also yea I have feelings for him. Don't believe in marriage if I didn't. There isn't a way to live together permanently unless it's via marriage since two seperate countries and I'm doing all the work so I can't just quit my job and move there.

>>17706908
Really sorry for my poor grammar. Upset about all this and my mind is all jibberish trying to type this all up. Hell I'm right here stressing and stuff and he's busy online with his friends in games and ignoring me (he hasn't said a word to me since last night cause he expects me to crawl on my knees and apologize)

>>17706968
tbf, i understand him not getting a job if only shit tier jobs and he is able to have independence with out working. having said that, he could still do more than playing video games or at the very least he could get an education in something he wants to do. if he is planning on having a family with you he should be at least improving himself if he doesent have a job. he reminds me of one of my friends that doesent go out with me and my friends group because he will sit in and play world of Warcraft with his online buddies.

but yeah, he needs to get his act together and sort his shit out. i think you need to be more assertive with him. if he is putting in no effort now, imagine what he will be like when you move in together.

Just wanted to post my experience: I knew a guy for 6 years via internet, despite of living in next town he never visited me. I moved to his town and we started relasionship and broke up after 6 months because he was too immature (and attached to his mom's skirt). We never spoke since then.

>>17707032
Any more details? What were the warning signs it just wasn't going to work out due to him not changing his ways?

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Id cut it off. Get a bf who is a real person not online. Its clear this guy has 0 social skills and its 2016 and he still plays league not dota 2 he is retarded and probably ugly anyway.

>>17707044
I guess, we didn't truly loved each other. By text and voice he seemed protective and supportive, we had nice talks and jokes, we cared of each other and I guess, I loved the idea of him. He was shy and closed but I thought it's not a big deal. I thought 'I will help him, he just need someone next to him, I can change him'.
When I moved to the town and got the job and rented an apartment, he was a visitor. Yes, he treated me well, paying for restaurants, movies, though he earned less than me. I was in a horrible depression because of work and he helped me at first. At first, I thought everything is great. The first warning sign was when he(23 years old) got a phone call from his mother when we were in a walk, it was not even much late. I joked and we giggled about it. Then it escalated. He wouldn't stay with me for a night because his mom called him. He left me several times in difficult situations because his mom needed someone to move the furniture. We talked about it and all his answers were mumbling and that he can do nothing about it. He wants to move out but has no money because he has a shitty job. 'Why don't you find a new job then?' 'It's not easy.' I guess, he liked his comfort zone very much and didn't want to actually change anything. He also played videogames and I love them, but he had no other interests. I don't know how I missed that. At one moment he became lazy immature boring beta who didn't want to try anything new. I left and moved from this town. He didn't even try to return me.

I'm not saying your situation would be the same but you must understand that there a thousand things you will discover only in real life. And only after some time. Some might surprise you in a bad way.

>>17706968
Then live together after one of you can move in with the other and then decide on marriage.
>He doesn't want menial labor
Eh, I don't like people who feel they are too good for work, so might as well not work at all. It is an excuse. I have a friend who is 27 and is a full-blown architect. He cannot find stable work. He lives with his parents as a NEET, and has been in that mode for 2 years with zero income coming in. He could accept his old high school job at the farmer's market, they'd hire him back in a heartbeat. But no, he felt he was "too good for that" with his degree.

Meanwhile my husband and I live in another state and are about to buy our first home. We both have decent savings too. We also both were underemployed, meaning that we both had degrees, but I am a Starbucks assistant manager and he was the front end manager of a supermarket. He is now in the process of getting his Masters, which has lots of jobs in that lab field. After he finishes that in about a year, I'm gonna go to nursing school for 2 years and we'll end up in careers we wanted.

Despite working retail, we still made money to live, save, and even play/travel a bit. All from low skilled labor jobs. Those jobs were a means to an end, and any employment pads your resume.

What I'm trying to say is that he is making excuses now, and will probably keep doing so.

>>17707282
Very insightful post and I appreciate you sharing. I'm very sorry you went through that but at least you're better off now. It's sort similar with us. We both enjoy our hobbies, we make jokes and have fun together but the biggest problem is it's me putting all the effort into things. If I want to have a movie night together (we will watch movies on skype together and just laugh and have a good time like it's the real thing) then I have to suggest it because hes only ever going to ask me to play or watch something if hes upset. Upset as in he was just bitching and throwing a fit a few weeks back because he spent at least 30 hours throughout the week farming some hair item in a mmorpg and he wanted to cool down by watching a movie together. Those are the only time he'll put a effort into something. If it benefits him in some way.

I got off tangent but like your ex, he does not want to try anything new. I love video games but I also like to go out and hike,kayak and things like that which isn't anything he likes to do. He just sits in a room playing video games 24/7.
>>17707281
A really good point about the "I'm too good for a job." type thing. Never understood that type of mindset. I don't make a lot of money but whatever I do make I save it. He lives with his family and they are all struggling over there but he doesn't make any effort to try and find work to at least help them out.

>>17707281
>He also played videogames and I love them, but he had no other interests.

as a fella, let me warn you. its a red flag if a guys only interest is video games. I know a bunch of people like this and they are definitely not relationship material. desu though, i dont know how girls dont notice how lackluster guys like this are. its the same with guys that do fuck all but drink and take drugs.

>>17707326
>Upset as in he was just bitching and throwing a fit a few weeks back because he spent at least 30 hours throughout the week farming some hair item in a mmorpg

i dont know how any guy could moan about something so childish. i suggest have a long, hard think about your fella op because i honestly think he sounds like baby. would you really want to raise a family with someone who needs to cool down because they couldent get an item in a video game.